Changing Family Tides
by MantaI-305Apollo'sChariot
Summary: As Elsa recovers from a serious illness, she & her family struggle to unravel the motive behind the destructive actions of one of Arendelle's own citizens. After a fire, Elsa immediately takes a little girl she's befriended to her own home since the child lost her older brother. Incidents from the past collide with present events as Elsa tries to hold her family together. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thanks for clicking on my story!:) Obviously I don't own Frozen, by the way...:)**

 **This is a sequel to "Mind Games"; I think it'll be understandable without reading it first, but you'll probably like it better if you do.:)**

 **Important info for new readers: It's about six months or so after the Great Thaw. (Right after Christmas.) There are two OC's that I promise will NOT take over the story. Anikka is a five-year-old orphan Elsa met back in the summer. [She made a brief appearance in "The Coming Storm".] Eleven-year-old Kiara is Hans's little sister. At the moment she is staying in a guest room in Arendelle castle. [Kiara was a secondary character in "Mind Games".] Hans is in the castle dungeon. Elsa's and Anna's parents have returned to Arendelle, and after a rocky start, they actually had a happy family Christmas together for the first time.:)**

 **I think that's everything! On to the story!:)**

"Come on, Elsa, you aren't giving yourself a chance to get your strength back," Anna told her sister. "All you do every single day since right after Christmas is push yourself past your limits and end up collapsing on the floor. You aren't strong enough to go set off fireworks and firecrackers and whatever in the courtyard yet. We can still have the 'New Year's party which is also Princess Anna's postponed birthday party', but you can't go by yourself. You're gonna need help."

Elsa had fallen seriously ill on her sister's birthday a few days before Christmas. Although Marshmallow and Rania, a small snowgirl Elsa had accidentally made upon Olaf's request, had sacrificed themselves to save Elsa's life; Elsa was still weak and she became exhausted quickly. She could barely walk down the hall from her room to the castle library without trouble. She also had a sprained wrist from a fall she had taken while she was sick that was still healing. And she still couldn't hear quite as well as she could before she had been so ill, although Elsa knew her ears were getting better every day and were almost back to normal. "Anna, the new year is not going to wait for me to be back to normal," Elsa said ruefully. "I am not going to cancel all the festivities that should be taking place for the first time in thirteen years just because of me. Besides, everyone knows I was sick already. It won't matter if I'm not completely well again and people see me." _I won't like it, but it won't mess up my public image, I don't think. At least not any more than it would be anyway._

"Elsa, think carefully about what you're doing," her father warned. "You have brains in your head. Use them. The general public knows you were sick, yes. They don't know just how ill you were. Do you really want to appear as an invalid young girl in public? Our people may not care, but you are asking to get Arendelle or yourself directly attacked from outside sources. You should cancel everything until you're better…you shouldn't appear in public needing to be carried about or, worse yet, collapsing because you've pushed yourself too much."

"I can still defend myself if I have to," Elsa replied stubbornly, frowning. _I can't mess up Anna's party yet again. What about everyone else in Arendelle besides?_

Agdar looked his eldest daughter straight in the face. "Look at yourself, Elsa. You're leaning on the furniture because you still get tired standing up. You also only have slightly more than half of your built-in defenses available for you to use right now. Not to mention I highly doubt your…special abilities are working as strong as they would ordinarily at the moment."

Elsa scowled at that. "My powers are just fine. They just make me tired faster, that's all. Papa, I just don't want to mess up all the festivities just because of me…again," she said softly.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and everyone around you. You have no reason to feel guilty if you cancel," Agdar said flatly. "Elsa, you know I still don't like those special abilities of yours, but they are Arendelle's most valuable defense-and offense, for that matter. You and I both know it. You cannot defend your country in your condition, and that is what you are going to end up needing to do if you appear in public like you are."

"I'm fine," Elsa insisted. "I can deal with things. I'm not helpless."

Without a word, Agdar grabbed Elsa's right hand and squeezed her wrist-not roughly, but slightly more than gently.

Elsa involuntarily cried out and stumbled backwards into the wall, holding her injured wrist close against her chest. Anna was instantly at her sister's side, just holding her close and giving her a hug. "Dad, why on earth did you do that to her?!" Anna demanded. "You know Elsa's wrist still hurts her sometimes!"

"Exactly another reason why she shouldn't appear in public until she's completely better," Agdar replied unregretfully. "Elsa, if just that caused the reaction you just made, you would be in serious trouble if someone tried to attack you, don't you think? You aren't helpless, true. But you aren't the extremely difficult to defeat ice mage right now, either. If someone wants to attack you, what do you think they're going to go after?"

"Either my wrist or my stupid leg," Elsa replied. "But Papa, you know my leg isn't going to ever be completely better. I'll always have to wear a brace to be able to walk…" _My friend Kiara didn't mean to hurt me permanently, though…I'm okay._ Elsa winced as Anna carefully rewrapped part of the bandage around her wrist. It didn't hurt as much as it had at first, but it was still sore.

Agdar awkwardly put one hand under his daughter's chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. "That isn't something you can help. You are forbidden to feel bad about your leg. It isn't your fault."

Elsa smiled slightly and hesitantly held her arms out for a hug; then abruptly backed away and blinked back tears when her father just frowned at her in response. "Please, Papa?" she whispered. She felt Anna hugging her tightly and immediately felt better. _Papa's just acting strange around me 'cause I'm still not completely recovered, that's all. Right?_

Anna waited a few seconds, but neither Elsa or their father said anything else. Anna simply picked her sister up and carried her down the hall and downstairs. Elsa didn't protest, but she bit her lip, thinking hard about what her father had told her. _Papa does have a point…it's just…won't it look all that much worse if I cancel? Wait, I know exactly what to do._ "Anna, I am not canceling the party, but I'm not going, either. You will have to set off the first firework instead of me, that's all," she decided.

Anna made a face. She had more than enough patience to take care of her big sister constantly, but she had to admit she was growing tired of staying in the castle right by Elsa's side all the time. Yes, Anna had been fine in the castle when she was little, but still. She just wanted to go do something _outside_ the castle with Elsa. _I was looking forward to going to the New Year's celebrations with Elsa, even if she can't really do anything active right now. I don't understand why Dad thinks it'd be bad PR for Arendelle…I mean, everyone gets sick once in a while; it's just Elsa got REALLY sick._

And Anna was so tired of trying to make sure Elsa didn't hurt herself trying to do too much. Since the day after Christmas, Elsa had continued forcing herself to walk down the hall to the library, firmly insisting that she try by herself. "I'm not going to get stronger if I don't try," Elsa would insist. The selfish bit of Anna wanted to just let Gerda deal with her sister for awhile, but Anna knew that would be sure to hurt Elsa inside badly. So she stayed with Elsa constantly. _I am_ not _letting Elsa be hurt again. Period._

Elsa gave Anna a lopsided smile and wiggled herself out of her sister's arms, nearly sending herself sprawling. _Okay…I didn't fall. Good._ "Anna, you'll just have to be annoyed with me. I've made my decision. Go on out to the festivities by yourself in the courtyard. If you decide to go outside the castle gates, take two guards with you, just in case. I'm sorry I'm such a drag at the moment," she said softly. Elsa knew her little sister was starting to grow tired of helping her every minute, and while that knowledge stung, Elsa didn't blame Anna in the least. _Really, Anna still taking care of me even though she's tired of it just proves she loves and cares about me._

Anna hesitated. "What about you? Who's going to take care of you? I'll not have you left alone again," she said firmly. "And what are you going to be doing?"

"Gerda will take care of me if I need help," Elsa replied. "Look, I don't belong out at the celebrations anyway. Papa is right. I'm still weak from being sick…it's all right, Anna. You can go. Goodness knows you've been literally right by my side ever since I got sick in the first place. I want you to go do something for yourself now." Elsa forced a convincing smile and just slowly limped out of the room blinking back tears. _Anna doesn't need to have an 'invalid young girl' trying to follow her around. It's all right, Elsa. Quit being selfish._ Elsa didn't understand why she was upset; she just still wanted her baby sister with her.

* * *

Elsa wasn't even really paying attention to where she was going when she found herself in the dark parlor plopped on the floor in the corner. _What's wrong with me? I shouldn't be upset because Anna wants to go off and do something I can't do…_

 _You're selfish, Elsa. Bad girl. Anna's been taking care of you for ages and you're being ungrateful. You didn't deserve any help at all if you were going to act like this._ Elsa closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to get rid of the negative thoughts in her head. Maybe she should tell someone what was happening to her. She'd been absolutely happy the day after Christmas, but since then, Elsa had noticed that she would be perfectly fine one minute and then the next some negative put-down thought(s) would invade her mind and she would have trouble getting rid of it and the whole thing scared her. "I'm fine. Prob'ly just an aftereffect of being ill," she muttered to herself.

 _You can't tell anyone about it. You'll just be making Anna deal with more issues. You're supposed to be stronger now, Elsa! Get it together._ Elsa ran her finger over the scar on her left wrist and shuddered. _Not again. Not again. I know what will happen if I don't get my own thoughts under control. I'll try another attempt. I promised Anna I would never do that. I won't._ Elsa realized there was a small shard of ice in her hand and almost instantly began crying. "I promised you, Anna! I promised…I will _not_ do that again! I won't…" She slumped on her side, the sharp piece of ice stubbornly clutched in her fist. _If I can keep the shard and not do anything, then that proves I'm fine._

 _You're pathetic, Elsa. Who are you fooling? You're just being stupid. No one needs you anyway…what's the big deal? Sure, Anna would be upset, but she'd get over it. Look. She left you to go to the New Year's festivities._

 _Shut up. Anna loves me. She may or may not need me, I don't know, but she cares about me. She just needed some time for herself. I told her to go by herself. Leave me alone. Wait…why am I talking to myself?_

* * *

"Kai, where is Elsa?" Agdar asked. "I saw Anna go outside, but Elsa was not with her."

Kai frowned. "I thought she was in the library reading, sir."

"No, Anna carried her downstairs and I haven't seen her since. Kai, we need to find her. I am not sure, but she's been acting a little…off for the last few days. I don't know if it's just the whole recovery process getting to her or if it's something more." Agdar paused before adding, "And she needs to recover soon for another reason…the second someone from outside the castle finds out she's not her usual self, they'll try to take advantage of it."

* * *

Downstairs, Elsa still lay on the floor in the corner of the parlor still stubbornly clutching the sharp ice shard in her hand. _I'm fine. I'm fine. It doesn't matter…I'm not going to do anything. I can hold it. That proves I'm okay._ She subconsciously flinched when she felt rather than heard footsteps coming toward her, but she didn't move.

"Miss Elsa, what are you holding?" Gerda asked gently as she lit the kerosene lamp on the small table beside one of the chairs in the room. She gasped when she saw a few drops of blood near Elsa's pale hand. "Queen Elsa, what in the world are you doing?!" she demanded. Gerda quickly knelt by Elsa's side and pulled her close.

Elsa involuntarily let the ice shard slip out of her hand and just kept her eyes closed, unsuccessfully trying to keep her tears from falling as she buried her face in Gerda's shoulder. "There's something wrong with me, Gerda," she whimpered. "Please don't tell Anna…"

Gerda shook her head as she held Elsa tightly. She pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and pressed it into Elsa's hand. "Here, hold that instead, Miss Elsa," she said calmly. Gerda was fairly certain Elsa hadn't meant to cut her hand at all since she had just been lying on the floor, not even moving. _I'll not ask her questions right now. I don't know what's going on, but we can get to the bottom of this._

Elsa suddenly realized her hand _hurt_ , and she jerked away from Gerda and just looked at her hand. "I didn't even know I did that," she whispered. "I just…Gerda, what's wrong with me? Why did I do that? I swear I wasn't trying to hurt myself…I…I'm…I…those awful thoughts got in my head again and I thought if I could hold the shard without doing anything then that would prove I was okay…" _And then I hurt myself anyway and didn't even know I did._

"Do you think you might be depressed?" Gerda asked as she picked the poor girl up and simply carried her out of the parlor toward the stairs.

"I don't _know_! All I know is I felt completely happy and strong inside that day we celebrated Christmas and since then negative thoughts keep bothering me more and more often. I don't understand what's happening to me, Gerda," Elsa admitted. "Is there something wrong with me?" _Yes, there is. You didn't even know you cut up your own hand._

"I have an idea of what's going on, Miss Elsa," Gerda told her. "Do you know just what illness you had?" Elsa shook her head, and Gerda continued, "You had meningitis. I am fairly certain depression can be one of the aftereffects from that. Perhaps since you've been depressed in the past, it made you susceptible to that happening to you. This doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means you need help, and not just from your sister. She's three years younger than you, Miss Elsa. She doesn't have the same maturity level you do. Princess Anna is perfect for comforting you when you get upset, but she can't take care of you and help you recover on her own."

"I'm a burden to everyone around me," Elsa said softly. "I'm…I'm sorry…" _You shouldn't have lived, Elsa. Your family could have found some other way to protect Arendelle from whatever danger is lurking around. You can't even protect yourself from yourself._

Gerda shook her head as she carried Elsa into her room. "No, Miss Elsa. You're a sweet girl that we are all lucky to have with us. Now just sit quietly and let's take care of that hand of yours." She gestured at Agdar, Idun, and Kai and shooed them all out. "Out at the moment, please," she said firmly. "Miss Elsa is safe. She was just in the parlor by herself. Leave for now. Thank you."

* * *

Elsa just sat quietly on her bed leaning against the pillows waiting for Gerda to come back. She took the handkerchief away from her hand and just stared at the damage. There was a single cut across her entire palm, and there were cuts across each finger from where she had been holding that shard so tightly. None of them were particularly deep, but she was still upset because she'd done it to herself and not even known. _How did I not know I did that? I'm so stupid… And it's going to be hard to take care of that properly because my wrist is still messed up…_

"Now let's take care of that," Gerda announced a moment later. She sat by Elsa's side and began removing the bandage supporting her wrist as gently as possible. "Miss Elsa, try to move it as little as possible until we're finished, all right? I'm very sorry if I'm hurting you."

Elsa just shrugged and didn't complain. Maybe she deserved for it to hurt. _I just wish I could go back to like I was when I was little before the accident…and that's impossible…_ Elsa couldn't help flinching as Gerda gently cleaned her hand with a soft cloth and some cool water, but she didn't say anything.

"Try thinking about something that makes you happy, Miss Elsa," Gerda suggested.

"My kitten?" Elsa asked hopefully, looking at her Christmas present kitten, Kolfinnia, fast asleep on the foot of her bed.

"Whatever you like," Gerda assured her. She quickly taped a bandage over the cut across Elsa's palm; then took care of her fingers before carefully rewrapping her wrist. "There. All done, Miss Elsa."

Elsa took one glance at her hand and almost instantly started trying to blink tears away. _My hand looks the way I feel inside. All torn up underneath everything on the outside covering up the hurt. What's wrong with me…? I chose to come back. I should be happy!_ She held her bandaged hand protectively against her chest and whispered a thank-you but couldn't bring herself to say anything else. Elsa's slender shoulders shook with sobs, and she didn't even understand why she was crying. Gerda was right there with her. And then she knew.

She wanted Anna. While Elsa fully understood why Anna could not be with her twenty-four seven, Elsa's damaged heart _needed_ her baby sister to be with her. She was nothing without Anna. If it wasn't for Anna, she would still be trapped in her room completely isolated and lonely.

Gerda just picked Elsa up and held her close, not caring that the girl was the queen. Right now Elsa could not deal with things on her own. She needed help. "Miss Elsa, I don't know exactly what's hurting you, but we _will_ get you better," she said firmly. _Elsa isn't scared of being touched, so this has nothing to do with her powers…I still think it's simply from her illness. Maybe she'll recover on her own. She needs all of us to love and care for her constantly._ "Will you talk about things?" Gerda asked.

"It hurts," Elsa said after a moment, not knowing how to express herself otherwise.

"What hurts exactly?" Gerda prompted. "No, no, Miss Elsa, leave your hand alone," she added hurriedly when Elsa started picking absentmindedly at one of her bandages.

 _I should just tell Gerda exactly what crossed my mind a minute ago…_ "My hand looks the way I feel inside. All torn up underneath everything on the outside covering up the hurt." Elsa held out her injured hand and made her signature snowflake, albeit painfully. _That's one thing that's actually not messed up. My powers are just there. Just plain Elsa. Even when the rest of her is ruined._ Elsa didn't realize she had spoken those words aloud.

Gerda gently pushed Elsa's hand down, not wanting her to hurt herself any more than she already was. "Make your snowflake with your other hand, Miss Elsa. And you are not ruined," she said firmly.

Elsa looked at Gerda through pain-clouded eyes. "How do you know?" she asked. "It never seems to matter what I do…I always end up hurt and in pain from something. _Always._ My parents never wanted a little girl like me in the first place. I…I just…Gerda, you have to fix me. _Please._ I can't deal with those awful s-suicidal thoughts again. Make them go away! Maybe I _am_ useless…I'm…I…I can't even barely walk. All of me is messed up-on the outside and on the inside…why did I stay…?"

"I know you are not ruined because what I see is a beautiful girl who's simply had awful luck in life. Right now she just needs to recover." Gerda picked Elsa up and carried her over to the mirror before setting her down on her own feet. "Look at yourself, Miss Elsa. What do you see?"

"A pitiful little girl with a brace on her leg and a bandaged hand and wrist that thinks she's dressed for a party because she's wearing her favorite dress," Elsa said softly, turning away from her reflection. "And she looks a mess because she's messed up inside."

"Miss Elsa, stop it. You can't even see the brace on your leg, for one thing. Your hand will heal, too. And while I'm still convinced that ice-dress is scandalous, you do look pretty in it." Gerda paused; then added, "I see a sweet and intelligent young girl who needs to give herself a chance."

"You didn't say anything about me being messed up inside. See, even you know it's the truth," Elsa whispered. She slowly limped over to the window and just gazed outside. _Please, someone just set me free. I'm tired of…me._

 _Elsa, you_ are _free. It doesn't matter if you're useless or not. There are people here who love you._ Elsa suddenly remembered the little snowflake necklace around her neck. "No fear. Love equals freedom," she whispered to herself. _I remember what I saw…I am not finished yet. I just have to get better._ Elsa turned to face Gerda and gave her a lopsided smile. "I don't think I'm going to be all better instantly, but I think I'm ready to try to stop being so…depressing. I'm sorry. What did you say you thought all my negative thoughts are coming from?"

* * *

"Elsa's not going to be happy with you if she finds out you're drinking that," Kristoff warned.

"Oh, relax, Kristoff," Anna replied. "It's not alcohol. I'm not stupid. Why don't you try one?" she asked, holding out her non-alcoholic margarita. "Why would I drink a real margarita anyway? Gross."

"If you didn't know what it was," Kristoff said firmly. "Are you _positive_ that doesn't have alcohol in it?"

Anna nodded. "I asked, actually," she said confidently. "I'm worried about Elsa…I should go back home and at least check on her, and-" Anna's eyes went wide when she spotted bright orange flames from a few blocks away, and she immediately put her drink down and ran back toward the castle. "Kristoff, come on! Let's get Elsa! She can put that out!"

Kristoff caught her by the arm. "Anna, I saw Elsa a couple days after Christmas. Unless she's made a miracle recovery in the four days since then, there's no way she can make it all the way out here," he said quietly. "She seemed pretty drained and tired to me and as far as I know, all she was doing was trying to walk down the hall. We can't expect her to come all the way out here."

"But the fire…"

"We can go investigate. Maybe it's not as bad as we think," Kristoff suggested. "Come on!"

* * *

Eleven-year-old Kiara scowled when she saw her friend's hand during dinner. "Snow Queen Elsa, what did you do to your hand?" she asked curiously.

Elsa immediately jerked her bandaged hand back under the table out of sight. "I cut it…by accident," she said simply. "I don't want to talk about it." _It was only half an accident, Elsa. If you hadn't been so stupid, it wouldn't have happened…_

Agdar gave Elsa a sideways glance. "Elsa, that isn't the whole story," he said firmly.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it," Elsa said again. "I'll be fine," she added to herself. _I will be fine. Gerda is going to help me get better, inside and out…I trust her, too._ Elsa smiled a bit and leaned back in her chair. "Gerda, do we have any dessert?"

"Elsa, do you perhaps want to eat your dessert in bed?" Idun asked. "I think you should rest now, especially after whatever happened earlier today." _Something's the matter with Elsa…she's not acting like her usual self. I know she's still recovering, but still…_

"No thank you. I can sit at the table." Elsa's voice was quiet but firm. She looked down at her bandaged hand and just shook her head. _Elsa, snap out of it. It'll heal and you won't have that stupid reminder of what you did anymore._ "Gerda, is my hand going to scar?" she whispered.

"Sweetie, what happened to you?" Idun asked gently. "Did you hurt yourself?" _What happened to Elsa? I hope she didn't do that to herself on purpose or something…_

Elsa slowly nodded, but said, "Not on purpose." _That's the truth. I didn't even know I did it…I don't know which is worse, doing it on purpose or doing it and not even knowing it._

"Miss Elsa, those cuts weren't deep. I don't think they'll scar at all," Gerda assured her. "Just don't pick at them or anything and you'll be fine." She subtly nodded at Idun, who immediately picked Elsa up and carried her out of the dining hall.

"Mama, put me down! I said I was fine. I want to eat my dessert in the dining hall, please," Elsa protested. She sighed and didn't say anything more when her mother simply shook her head and continued upstairs. _This is one time I seriously would like to abuse my authority. I wanted to stay downstairs! And no one listened…_

"You are not fine, Elsa. I need to talk to you," Idun told her. "I know you're still recovering physically from being so sick, but something else is the matter, sweetie. For one thing, why did Gerda bring you upstairs with your hand bleeding like that earlier? She would not have asked the rest of us to leave if you'd simply fallen and hurt your hand or something. There's more to it than that."

Elsa just pressed herself closer to her mother when Idun sat down and held her tightly in one of the big soft recliners in her parents' room. "I sent Anna out to enjoy the New Year's festivities and…and I found myself in the parlor in the corner and I got really upset somehow…I swear I didn't do it on purpose, but a shard of ice appeared in my hand and I was trying to convince myself I was okay… So I just held it, thinking if I could hold it and not do anything, then that meant I was fine. I squeezed it in my fist too hard and cut up my hand. But I didn't do it on purpose. I swear I didn't. I didn't even know I'd hurt myself until after Gerda found me." _You sound ridiculous, Elsa. That doesn't even make any sense. What were you thinking?_

 _Shut up. No fear. Love equals freedom. Mama is holding me. She loves me. I don't know why, but I know she does all the same._

"Elsa, you do know you are most likely just experiencing aftereffects from that illness. You sound depressed, like you're trying to fix it, but not in the right way. This doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. If those negative thoughts come back again and you subcobsciously make another ice shard, just throw it away from you. That way you won't hurt yourself again. I know you like to be strong inside as much as possible, but don't put yourself in harm's way by doing things like holding a sharp object trying to convince yourself you're all right as long as you don't do anything." Idun gently stroked Elsa's platinum hair and just held her close. _My little girl is not going to turn suicidal again. She's going to be fine. At least we caught this before too much time had passed._

Elsa sighed as she leaned her head against her mother's shoulder. _I'm going to be fine. I don't know how long it's going to take to fix this, but I'm going to be fine._

* * *

Anna nearly screamed when she and Kristoff got closer to the fire. "Kristoff, it's the orphanage!" she shouted. "What if there's still children inside?!" _I wish Elsa was here…she could fix this within minutes…_ There was already a bucket brigade going, but it didn't seem to be making much headway with the flames. "We need Elsa! Better we have a tired Elsa than a whole bunch of dead people or the fire spreading to another building!"

Kristoff sighed. "I don't think you're going to get Elsa back here in time, but go ahead. I'll stay here."

Anna took off running back to the castle. The second she burst inside the main entrance, she paused for a split second before dashing upstairs and down the hall to her sister's room. No Elsa. _Where is she?! I'll check the library…_ Elsa wasn't in the library, either. "Ok, where else could Elsa have gone?" Anna muttered to herself.

"Anna, what are you doing here?" Elsa asked from the doorway. "Mama and I were going to play chess, and-"

"And you gotta come down to the orphanage, Elsa!" Anna interrupted frantically. "It's on fire! I don't know if anyone's inside, but the building's burning down! Hey, Elsa, what happened to your hand?" Anna asked, pointing at her sister's bandaged hand.

Elsa bit her lip and looked down at the floor. "I cut it," she said softly. "Anna, I can't walk all the way down there, and even if I could make it, I wouldn't be fast enough…" _What else is new? Something else I can't fix._

"Sure you can, sweetie," Idun said quickly. "Ride a horse down there. That will be faster and less exhausting. See, this is something else only _you_ can fix, at least with the least amount of damage."

Elsa frowned, wondering if she could still ride a horse with that brace on her leg. _It doesn't matter; I have to try. Besides…_ "Anna, you could ride behind me and help make sure I don't fall off," Elsa suggested. "Y'know, because of this," she added, gesturing at her leg.

"Yes, your majesty," Anna teased, and quickly picked her sister up and went downstairs as fast as she could go, ignoring Elsa's protests that she didn't want to be carried.

* * *

Soon the two sisters were riding Elsa's horse, Lorin, at a fast pace down the somewhat short distance to the orphanage. Elsa didn't feel very safe up on the horse, but she trusted Anna to hold her if she started to fall. Right now, Elsa was more worried that people would be hurt in the fire before she could get there. Elsa screamed in horror when she saw the burning building. _That building is beyond saving! I can still put out the fire, but…_ She bit her lip and sent a stream of magic toward the fire, letting a contained blizzard form above, around, and in it. Eventually the fire would be completely out and she could come back and dissolve the tiny storm. Elsa heard people shouting her name and instantly began feeling self-conscious as she hid her bandaged hand under part of the snowflake cape on her dress.

"Queen Elsa, it's wonderful to see you up and around again!" "We heard you'd been deathly ill!" "She contained the fire in less than a minute!"

Elsa spotted a group of scared children huddled near the adjacent building and asked Anna to help her down. _I hope all the children got out…_ She slowly limped toward the children; then changed her direction when she spotted one little girl standing apart from the rest of the kids. Self-consciousness forgotten, Elsa made a beeline for the child, leaving Anna to talk to the crowd. _That's Anikka! Where's her brother?!_

Anikka was a five-year-old girl Elsa had met back in the summer when she and Anna had visited the orphanage. Elsa knew the child had one older brother named Timothy, and that little Anikka had refused to talk after her parents had died. She had talked a little bit to Elsa back in the summer, though. Now Elsa wanted to find the little girl's brother. "Hello, Anikka," Elsa said quietly.

Anikka recognized Elsa and ran over to her and hugged her as tightly as a five-year-old could. "Anikka want Timothy!" Anikka wailed.

Elsa sighed. "Anikka, let's try to find him, okay? Did he get separated from you in the fire?" she asked.

"All burn up," was all Anikka said in reply as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Elsa stopped in her tracks. _What happened? Did she lose Timothy in the fire? Maybe he just was in another room or something. That has to be all it is._ She tried to pick the little girl up, but found she couldn't because of her bandaged hand. "I can't hold you, Anikka, but come on. Let's look for Timothy," she told Anikka.

"All burn up," Anikka repeated, clutching her little arms around Elsa's leg. "All gone. Elsa hurt," she added, pointing at Elsa's hand.

Elsa spotted Mr. Everstad, who ran the orphanage, and waved him over. "Mr. Everstad, have you seen Anikka's brother Timothy?" she asked hopefully. _Please say yes…please say yes…_

Mr. Everstad looked sadly at her and shook his head and nodded slightly toward the destroyed building. "Three didn't make it out in time," he said quietly. "I tried to go back, but…it was too late…"

Elsa bit her lip hard as she tried to keep from crying. _Children_ had died because she wasn't fast enough to get over here in time. Poor Anikka had no family left because of it. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "If I'd just gotten here faster, maybe…"

"No, Queen Elsa. You came as fast as you could," Mr. Everstad assured her. "Everyone knows you've been ill. If you'll pardon my saying so, you still don't look quite your usual self. You did far more than anyone would have possibly expected you to."

"All burn up," Anikka said again. "No Timothy. No doll." She was still crying hard, and she hung on to Elsa. At least Elsa wasn't dead. Elsa was her friend. She would stay with Elsa if all the grown-ups would let her.

 _Anikka already knew Timothy was gone,_ Elsa realized. _That's why she keeps saying 'All burn up' like that._ Elsa suddenly knew exactly what she wanted to do. "Mr. Everstad, may I take Anikka back to the castle with me? She does know me, and I know you can't possibly take in _all_ those children into your house behind the orphanage." _You're in no condition to take care of a traumatized five-year-old girl, Elsa. You're a mess. You accidentally cut up your own hand earlier._

 _Oh, shut up. I can help Anikka. If I need help, Gerda and Kai could help me take care of her. I'm not old enough to be a mother, but I can be Anikka's friend._

 **A/N: If any new readers have questions, please feel free to PM me and I'll answer them as best I can.:)**

 **And I promise Elsa will be fine eventually; she's just trying to recover. :)**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

 **QueenofIcelandia-Thank you!:)**

 **raven678-I'm glad you liked it.:)**

 **bananas-rule-2015-I debated whether to let Timothy live or not for awhile, but I think what happened works best with the plot.:P Elsa will be fine eventually:)**

 **Awesomewolf-I'm glad you liked it!:) Yes, there are/is an antagonist(s)...which will show up in this chapter.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-Elsa knows she promised Anna she wouldn't do that, so...yeah. She'll be fine.:)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:) And I did already:)**

 **Mandy-Thank you!:) I make no promises other than a happy ending.:) Elsa will be okay eventually. She _should_ tell Anna what's going on. Yes, Elsa 'saved the day' as best she could regarding the fire. She met Anikka back in the summer, so she already knows her.:) Exactly-and since I'm the one writing the story, I can always make sure there's a happy ending.:) I am SO sorry for the long wait between chapters!:P**

 **Dragonheart35-Elsa will be okay.:) I'd like to read whatever you decide to write, lol.:) I don't think going up to the North Mountain would make Elsa stronger faster, per se; but I do think it would make her feel better, at least inside. And it would probably make her magic 'feel better' inside her, because, like you pointed out, it IS Elsa's natural element.:) The fire was necessary for the story-I promise it wasn't just there for shock value.:P**

 **On to the story!:) [I apologize for the long wait between chapters.:/]**

It was nearly eleven P.M. when Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, and Anikka arrived back at the castle. Anikka refused to let anyone but Elsa touch her and nearly threw a tantrum when Kristoff tried to pick her up and give her to Elsa to hold up on Lorin's back. Now, in Elsa's room, a very tired Elsa just lay on her bed with one arm protectively around the little girl next to her. Anikka still hadn't stopped crying, although she wasn't sobbing anymore. _I'm so sorry, Anikka. If only I'd been faster…I messed up. Again. What else is new?_

 _You caused three children to die. You took Anikka's brother away from her. Anikka shouldn't want to be anywhere near you._ Elsa felt a single tear trickle down her cheek and then couldn't stop. She clutched Anikka tightly, not knowing what to do. "I'm sorry, Anikka," Elsa whispered. "So sorry…" _Sorry isn't going to fix anything, Elsa._

"Elsa and Anikka hurting," Anikka said. She curled into a ball and scooted as close to the older girl as she could. Anikka felt safe with Elsa, but she wanted her big brother back. And yet she knew Timothy was _not_ coming back. He was dead, just like her parents.

"We'll be fine," Elsa said softly. _How am I supposed to help Anikka when I can barely help myself? I'm not a mother…I'm just a young girl. I can't even function by myself physically right now. I shouldn't have brought Anikka here. She needs someone better than me._ Elsa felt someone sit on the bed next to her and start stroking her hair gently. "Mama?"

Anikka abruptly sat up and pointed at Idun. "Elsa's mommy alive?!" she asked. "Anikka have Timothy back?" Anikka looked hopefully at Elsa.

Elsa looked to her mother for help. She had absolutely no idea what to say. The explanation for why her parents were back was far too complicated to explain to little Anikka.

"Elsa's mommy and daddy were lost for a long time when they went on a trip," Idun said to the little girl. "They weren't dead, even though Elsa and her sister believed they were."

Anikka's face fell, and she scooted backwards when Idun tried to give her a hug. _Go away. I just want Elsa._

Elsa struggled to a sitting position when she saw Anikka curiously touching the brace on her left leg and gave the little girl a lopsided smile. "It's okay, Anikka," she assured the child when Anikka made a worried face. "It helps me walk, that's all." _And that is not going to get better, either. It's permanently messed up._

"Elsa hurt," Anikka said flatly. She promptly kissed the older girl's knee and then tried to undo the fastenings on Elsa's brace. "All better," Anikka announced with certainty. "Elsa not hurt now."

Elsa felt tears burning in her eyes as she shook her head. "No, Anikka, it's not all better. A get-well kiss isn't going to fix it," she said quietly. "It's always going to be like that." _Now I've ruined Anikka's innocence too. What else am I going to mess up?_

"All _better_!" Anikka insisted, even as Elsa just pulled her close and held her on her lap. "Elsa not hurt now!"

"Anikka, get-well kisses help make hurt in here go away," Elsa said, holding her hand to her heart. "They're not going to fix messed up legs. They're just not." She paused for a moment before adding, "Thank you for…being my friend even though I don't d-deserve it." _I don't understand why Anikka wants to be with me, but she's my friend._ My _friend._

"Elsa's leg all better," Anikka said stubbornly. She pulled herself out of Elsa's arms and went back to trying to get that brace off her friend's leg. Surely Elsa was wrong. She was just scared to try walking without it, wasn't she?

Elsa frowned for a moment; then just bit her lip and took the brace off herself. "Anikka, I can't stand up without it. I'll show you," she replied in a flat voice. Elsa swung her legs off the bed and tried to stand up, ignoring the concerned look her mother was giving her. She immediately collapsed the second she was standing up, although Elsa wasn't sure how much of that was because of the permanent injury to her leg and how much was simply because she was exhausted already. _Why did I even try? I'm so stupid…_

Anikka grabbed Elsa's arm and tried to help her stand up. "Love Elsa anyway," she said. Anikka wasn't stupid; she knew it was possible to get permanently hurt. She just didn't like it. Still, Elsa was just…Elsa to her. This girl made her feel better.

Elsa let her mother help her back up on the bed and just weakly pulled Anikka close. _Anikka said she loves me anyway…thank you so much, Anikka. That makes me feel better, even though I don't know why._ "I'm really, really tired, Anikka, so I need to go to sleep," she said quietly. "But you can stay in here if you want to. Okay?"

Anikka nodded, snuggled up next to Elsa, and was fast asleep within seconds.

* * *

Elsa looked up at her mother sleepily. "Mama…what am I supposed to do? I'm messed up inside…I can't take care of a five-year-old properly," she whispered. _My hand is torn up because I was an idiot…and I probably_ am _depressed… If I could just be back to normal, that would most likely disappear too…_

"Looks to me you're doing just fine," Idun said gently. "Anikka obviously feels comfortable around you. Are you intending to keep her permanently?"

"Well, I'm not tossing her out. She doesn't even have her brother anymore, Mama," Elsa replied as she gently stroked Anikka's short brown curls, knowing how that made her own self feel better. _I'll not hurt Anikka by not keeping her here. Maybe she can grow up here as part of my family…_ "I can't make Anikka feel better, but I can love her and take care of her like Anna does for me, can't I? At least as a way older sister even if I'm no good mother-wise?"

 _Elsa can easily care for Anikka, at least on the inside. She may not be physically strong enough, but she's just fine for taking care of a little girl who's lost everything she knew._ Idun kissed Elsa's forehead and then turned out the kerosene lamp on the nightstand. "I'm sure you would make an excellent mother figure, Elsa. Much better than I was to you," she said softly. "You have a heart bigger than the North Mountain, sweetie."

Elsa's quiet giggles made her mother smile. "I have to take you and Papa up to my ice palace when I'm completely better," she announced contentedly. "Maybe being up there will make me un-depressed." _I love being up on the North Mountain's summit. It's on top of the world, and it makes me feel invincible, like nothing can ever hurt me…_

"You really built an entire palace made of ice up on the North Mountain, Elsa?" Idun asked. "I thought it was just a figurative term you and Anna made up."

"It's real, Mama," Elsa said proudly. "The whole construction is based off my signature snowflake and fractals. And it's really pretty, if I do say so myself." _See, you're not too messed up inside, Elsa. You just said something you made was pretty, and you weren't kidding, either. You should take little Anikka up there. Maybe it will have the same therapeutic effect on her as it does on you._ Elsa thought for a minute before asking, "Mama, do you really think me feeling all depressed is just from having meni…meningitis or whatever else it was?"

"Yes, I do, sweetie. If anything, simply because you were mostly fine before you got sick. I could tell you were still hurting sometimes, but you definitely weren't depressed. I imagine the depression will fade as you physically get stronger," Idun answered. "And until then, we'll take care of you and help you feel better when you have any bad thoughts." Idun realized her daughter had fallen asleep when she heard Elsa's breathing grow deep and even. "Good night, Elsa," she whispered, and walked out of the room.

* * *

IN THE LIBRARY…

"Idun, Elsa can't just bring random little children into the castle like that!" Agdar exclaimed, pacing back and forth in agitation. "First it was Kiara. At least she's eleven and doesn't need to be watched every second and is a princess, technically. Now Elsa has brought an obviously traumatized five-year-old orphan into the castle, too! What is she going to do, keep that little kid here permanently?"

"Would you have wanted Elsa to leave the child with the couple who was running the orphanage?" Idun asked. "They have a whole group of children to take care of as it is. That little girl doesn't let anyone touch her except Elsa. She speaks in broken phrases, and even then, only to Elsa. Elsa really cares about that little girl, Agdar. You should see the two of them together. It's like Elsa is a young mother to the little girl, Anikka."

Agdar stopped pacing and just stared at his wife. "Elsa cares about everything and everyone around her. Her heart is too big for her own good," he said flatly. "What are other countries going to say? 'Oh, that monarch with the dangerous magical powers adopted a commoner orphan! She must be trying to bend the laws to get herself an heir!'"

"Agdar, I guarantee you Elsa is not trying to adopt Anikka and change the laws so she can have an heir that isn't from the royal bloodline. She's just trying to take care of a little child who lost her brother, the only family she had left," Idun replied softly.

"Do you honestly think it's a good idea for Elsa to be trying to take on _more_ responsibility, taking care of a child when she's nowhere near recovered from being critically ill?" Agdar asked. "And it's a badly traumatized child to boot. I don't think that can possibly be good for Elsa. Not when she's messed up inside herself. Idun, I know Elsa cut up her own hand earlier. I don't know whether it was on purpose or not, but-"

"It wasn't."

"But the fact remains it happened all the same. Elsa cannot take care of a five-year-old and herself, too. This Anikka girl might just make Elsa's problems worse."

Idun thought for a moment before replying. "You know, Agdar, it would actually probably be _good_ for Elsa to spend time with a little girl like Anikka," she said slowly. "That illness left Elsa depressed. I think-in fact, I _know_ -she'll get better as she physically recovers, but anyway…taking care of that little girl could be like therapy for her. The rest of us can help Elsa take care of Anikka when she's unable to do it all herself."

"Idun, the _queen_ of this country brought a random little girl into the castle! Elsa is going to cause a political uproar the second anyone finds out! You just don't do that. I know she's just trying to be caring, but…" Agdar shook his head.

"Excuse me, if you'll pardon my saying so, most everyone already saw Miss Elsa bring little Anikka here," Gerda put in as she dusted the furniture. "Even if it would cause trouble, she can't cause any more trouble than she already has."

"That's something else!" Agdar exclaimed. "Elsa should not have left the castle. Not yet! She can barely walk, and she _looks_ like she's been sick. What if someone who doesn't like or approve of her saw her like that?"

"The orphanage was burning down, Agdar. Three people died as it was. What else was Elsa supposed to do?" Idun asked. _Elsa did the best she could, considering the situation. Yes, she was asking for trouble, but there wasn't anything else she could have done._

Agdar sighed. "Elsa would have been doing a so-called 'wrong' thing no matter what she did. She did what she had to do. But now we need to be extra vigilant for any potential problems."

* * *

Elsa jerked awake very early in the morning when she felt Anikka clinging to her and making whimpering sounds. "Anikka?" she whispered. "Are you all right?" _She's not all right. Stupid question. What would Anna do if Anikka were me…?_

"No, no, no, come back! Fire…all burn up…" Anikka's distressed voice immediately began making Elsa herself upset.

Elsa quickly turned on the lamp and sat up, holding the little girl tightly in her arms. "Wake up, Anikka," she said softly. _I shouldn't tell Anikka it's just a dream, because it probably isn't…_ "I know that's not a dream-it's an icky memory-but it isn't happening anymore. You're safe. I'll make sure of it." Elsa winced when Anikka tried to hold her injured hand, but she said nothing and just moved her hand away.

Anikka blinked teary eyes up at her. "Elsa? Timothy save Anikka. Elsa make Anikka better," she informed Elsa.

"Timothy saved you, Anikka?" Elsa asked. _He couldn't have been more than ten. What did he do for his little sister during that fire?_

"Fire…Anikka threw out window…Timothy say coming. Not happen. No Timothy." Anikka hid her face in Elsa's shoulder and refused to say anything else. She knew exactly what had happened, even if she didn't know how to say it. Timothy had literally picked her up and tossed her out the window, saying he would come in a few minutes because he was trying to help some of the other younger kids get out of the burning building. Anikka knew Timothy had saved her but hadn't made it out himself. In her mind, she had nothing and no one left in the world but the older girl holding her. Elsa reminded her of her mother for some reason, although Elsa looked absolutely nothing like her mother, and she knew Elsa was too young. "Elsa love Anikka?" she asked, her voice sounding muffled because her face was all scrunched against Elsa's shoulder.

"Yes," Elsa replied instantly. She did love this little girl. She wished she could make everything bothering Anikka go away and never come back. Elsa knew what hurting inside felt like-she had lived that way every day for thirteen years and she still felt like that, just not nearly as bad. _Anikka is only five. She's even younger than I was when everything got messed up. But…Anikka doesn't have to live in pain no one can help her with for years. I can help her. I can at least let her know there's someone who loves and cares for her. Maybe Anikka will feel better lots faster than stupid me since she hasn't been hurt as long. That would be perfect, absolutely perfect…_ "Thank you, Anikka," Elsa heard herself say.

Anikka picked up her head and just stared curiously at her. _For what? Elsa is holding me._

"For being m-my friend," Elsa said softly. "I still feel…messed up inside and you're helping me." _Why are you telling a five-year-old girl that, Elsa?! You're supposed to be helping her, not the other way around._ Elsa caught the slightest trace of a smile on Anikka's little face and found herself smiling too.

"Anikka help Elsa. Elsa help Anikka," Anikka announced. "Anikka make Elsa walk?" she asked hopefully. "Get up now?" Anikka clumsily climbed down off the bed and just stared at Elsa. "Elsa's hand hurt," she added, pointing at the older girl's bandaged hand.

Elsa smiled a bit as she slowly reached for her brace and fastened it around her bad leg. The bandages on her hand and wrist hindered some of her movements-and it was still a bit sore besides-but right now Elsa didn't care. _I think I already feel better. My hand will heal. I will heal inside too. I'm fine. I don't know what was wrong with me yesterday…maybe simply the fact that Gerda found out what was going on sort of gave me relief from trying to deal with it on my own? I don't know._ "Anikka, my hand _is_ hurt, but it's going to get better. Don't worry about it. It'll get better, just like us," she said quietly.

"Can't bandage hearts," Anikka said, crossing her little arms around her middle as she looked down at the floor. "Not the same."

Elsa slid off the bed and struggled to stand up before limping over to Anikka. "I…I think love bandages hearts," she said slowly, unsure of what exactly to say. "My sister…f-fixes me because she loves and takes…care of me…" Elsa's big blue eyes filled with tears as she collapsed to the floor with her face in her hands. "My heart still feels broken…in pieces…but Anna managed…to put them back together again. Still all cracked inside…am I ruined?" Elsa sounded barely any older than the little girl next to her, and she knew it. _Shut up, Elsa. You're supposed to be helping Anikka, not making yourself all depressed. You collapsed on the floor and started bawling. What if you make Anikka cry?_

"Elsa not ruined. Elsa pretty." Anikka tried to brush Elsa's tears away and threw her arms around Elsa and hugged her as tight as she could. "Elsa's heart big. Like blue sky. Elsa magic!" She hopped away and began prancing about back and forth in front of Elsa. "Elsa ice pretty. Make some? Dress sparkly! Snowflakes…Elsa pretty like snowflakes."

Elsa stifled a giggle as she watched the little girl pretending she had magical ice powers like Elsa did. _That's Anikka's way of comforting me. And she likes my powers, too…_ Elsa figuratively froze when she heard Anikka's next question.

"Anikka snow prin-cess like Elsa?" Anikka asked hopefully, realizing she had made Elsa giggle and stop crying.

Elsa's mind raced, wondering what on earth she could tell the little girl. Even if she wanted to adopt Anikka and treat her as part of the family…which Elsa knew deep inside that she did…Anikka could never inherit the throne of Arendelle. _What have I done?! What a huge mess I've made by simply trying to take care of someone who needed help. If anyone finds out I have Anikka here at the castle… They could say I'm incapable of producing an heir and am trying to change the laws to let Anikka be the next in line. I could ruin my reputation with this…I don't have any intentions of 'producing an heir'-Anna and Kristoff can do that when they're older-but what I've done is pretty much unacceptable. And yet I know I didn't do anything wrong._ Elsa finally decided to just stall for time. "You want me to adopt you?" she asked hesitantly.

Anikka nodded and just stared at Elsa, who was still sitting on the floor.

"Don't you want a mother older and better than someone like me?" Elsa asked. She yelped in surprise when Anikka just flung herself into her arms and curled up in a ball on her lap. "Anikka…I don't know how to be a mother," she whispered. "I love you, but…I just…don't want to hurt you. Our country doesn't allow me to adopt little girls like you. I could cause a big mess if I keep you…" _Anikka, please understand…please, please, please understand…_

Anikka was only five, and she hadn't had the same amount of education a princess or prince would have had, but she did understand what Elsa meant. At least partly. She remembered something else that she suddenly thought the older girl needed to know _immediately._ "Fire not accident," Anikka said after a long minute of silence.

"Anikka, that's a big accusation," Elsa said slowly. _Who would have even wanted to do such a thing?!_ "You think someone burned the orphanage down on purpose?"

Anikka nodded and looked Elsa straight in the eyes.

"Do you know who did it, Anikka? I need to know so whoever did it can be appropriately punished." Elsa's gaze turned determined as she held Anikka close. _If someone did that on purpose, that's arson, murder, and I don't know what else. That's horrible!_

Anikka shook her head. "Too dark. Anikka saw somebody start fire. Made it go to kids' home."

Elsa thought for a moment. "Could you see if it was a girl or a boy?"

"Girl? Anikka not know," Anikka said sadly. "Elsa lock up bad person?"

"When I find her…him…them…whoever it is," Elsa said darkly, "they had better watch their back. Because I will not tolerate people hurting my country's citizens. Especially the children."

* * *

In a large cave a short ways into the mountains, a young woman only slightly older than Elsa herself threw down the small stone she had been holding. "They all assumed it was an accidental occurrence," she announced.

"What, did you _want_ to get caught?" a man asked.

"Oh, shut up, Rolf. Of course not. I wanted _Queen_ Elsa to spot a shadow or something. Something slightly amiss that wouldn't give her any information aside from the fact the fire had been set."

"What d'you want with the queen anyway?" a teenage boy asked. "She didn't do anything to us."

"Are you crazy or something?! Her family _ruined_ our livelihood! I just want to take back what's rightfully ours, Espen," the young woman replied. "Now you cooperate. Remember what I told you."

"Yeah, yeah, Jade. Don't tell Rolf-"

Jade glared at him, and he shut up. "Now I saw the queen. We already knew she had been sick, but it's very obvious that she's still recovering. She's hurt her hand somehow and she can hardly walk. We should move quickly before she regains her strength."

"What does it matter whether she's weak or not?" Rolf asked. "You said she leaves the castle often without her guards. I think your younger brother and I can handle one skinny girl easily enough."

Jade rolled her eyes and did not answer. "The queen took one of the orphans back to the castle with her. All we need to do is make a few more 'accidents' to lure her out, or take that orphan child and perhaps the princess, and we won't need to capture Queen Elsa at all. She'll hand herself in to let them go."

"Jade, you set off a fire. Did you hurt or kill anyone?" Espen asked, crossing his arms suspiciously.

"I don't know. Even if I did, it will be better than not taking action at all." Jade's usually proud and blunt countenance fell as she gently touched the one photograph she and Espen had of their parents. It was black and white and a bit blurry, but Jade didn't care. Jade herself was just a baby in this picture; Espen hadn't been born yet when it was made.

"You really think our parents would be happy with what you're doing, Jade?" Espen asked quietly. "They loved Arendelle. You burned down a building last night. That would make them proud?"

"Arendelle _killed_ them!" Jade shouted. "I'm doing what I'm doing for what's left of our family. Leave me alone, Espen. Go to sleep or something, I don't care. Just leave me alone."

Espen sighed and walked further back into the cave, where his own sleeping area was carved out of the rocks. "I hate Rolf, by the way," he called back to his sister.

* * *

"You really care about Anikka, don't you?" Anna asked Elsa after breakfast. Gerda had taken a very reluctant Anikka to find her a different dress…probably something either Elsa or Anna (or both) had worn when they were little.

Elsa smiled a bit and nodded. "I think…I think she just needs someone to love and care for her. Like you do for me," Elsa said softly. "I'm scared I don't know how to do that though, Anna. I mean…look at me…I'm just…just…" _A loser, Elsa. That's what you are. You mess up things._

 _Shut up. I made Anikka happy this morning. She slept most of the night without bad dreams, too._

 _So you're being selfish and using Anikka to make yourself feel better instead of helping her just because._ Elsa bit her lip as she squeezed her injured hand a bit, trying to use the slight pain to snap herself back to reality.

"Just what, Elsa?" Anna frowned when she realized just what her sister was doing. "Elsa, stop that. You're gonna hurt yourself!" she exclaimed. Elsa didn't react, so Anna jumped to her feet and quickly yanked Elsa to her feet and just hugged her close. _I don't know what it is, but there's something the matter with my sweet big sister. She seems…depressed. It's prob'ly just her recovering and stuff, but I don't like it. Not one little bit._ "There's something wrong with you, sis," Anna said gently. "You're acting kinda-"

"I _know_ there's something wrong with me, Anna," Elsa said, sounding slightly angry. "You think I don't know that? I'm _sick_ of myself, okay?! Just leave me be." She abruptly pulled away and slowly began limping out of the room. "I can handle it myself," she added, mostly to herself, although Anna could hear her.

"Elsa, I didn't mean it like that!" Anna insisted, easily catching her sister by the arm and then simply scooping her up. "I mean there's something wrong that's making you act upset and stuff. I want to help you, Elsa. You don't have to recover by yourself."

"Put me down."

"No."

"You're going to find your mattress a solid block of ice when you go to bed tonight," Elsa threatened, meaning every word.

"I'll sleep in your room then," Anna retorted.

Elsa sighed. She would happily sleep on a pile of snow, but she didn't particularly want to sleep on ice. That would be hard as a rock and very uncomfortable. "Anna, please just put me down. Please," she requested in a calm voice. "I'm not an invalid."

"Yes, you are. At the moment," Anna countered. "Besides, I like holding you. I like taking care of you, too. You prob'ly think I'm sick of taking care of you, but that's not true. I'm sick of two other things though: not being able to go do things outside the castle with you; and you pushing yourself to do things you're not strong enough for yet, which then means I gotta try to keep you from doing those things. That's all. It's not you personally, Elsa. You're wonderful and I'm so, so, so grateful to have you back." She held Elsa tightly and refused to let her wiggle out of her arms.

Elsa scowled, but she stopped struggling and leaned her head againt Anna's shoulder. "I'm grateful to have you helping me, but I like to do things on my own, too," she said finally. _But you can't do things on your own. You're just being ridiculous, Elsa. You should tell Anna what Anikka said about the fire being set. Maybe she will have some ideas for what to do…wait,_ I _have a plan for what to do._ "Anna, could you take me to the parlor and just shut the door? I need to talk to you about something, please."

* * *

The second the two girls were alone in the parlor with the door closed, Elsa began explaining. "That fire that burned down the orphanage…Anikka seems quite certain that it was purposely set. I know she's only five, but I tend to believe her. She said it was too dark, but that someone set the fire on purpose and made it go to the orphanage. She thought it was a girl, but she didn't know for sure." Elsa smiled sadly as she added, "Anikka didn't say complete sentences, though. I love Anikka and I want to take care of her…I just wish I could help her speak better. I know she knows how-she just doesn't talk that way."

Anna frowned. "Elsa…are you sure Anikka wasn't just terrified and imagined that? I mean…that's really serious. We can't even go after whoever it was if it was indeed set because we don't know what he or she looks like. And you are _not_ going to go investigate yourself. You can't even walk around by yourself for any length of time. And I'm kinda scared you'll hurt yourself again like you did to your hand," she admitted reluctantly. _I don't want Elsa hurting herself again like that. She didn't do it on purpose, but it wasn't entirely an accident, either._

Elsa averted her gaze and hid her bandaged hand under part of the icy cape of her dress. _Don't remind me, please._ "Well, I had a better plan," she said after a minute. "You will take Kristoff and go check out where the building used to be for any clues. Then you report any findings back to me. Since it was dark, if someone did do it on purpose, they will not have been as careful to hide tracks and such as if it were daylight." Elsa glanced at her brace and bit her lip as she quickly took it off. "Anna, help me try to stand up and walk without that thing, please," she added quietly.

"Elsa…" Anna sighed, but she ran to her sister's side and tried to help her stand up. "Elsa, I don't think this is going to work. You couldn't do this even before you got sick. Why do you think it'll work now?" she asked gently.

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and shook her head when she felt her leg immediately collapse under her. "Just vainly hoping," she muttered. "Anna, I don't know why, but I have a sinking feeling I'm going to need to defend not just me or just others, but both. Very soon. I can't run wearing that brace, will never be able to, even if I'm completely better from being sick. You need to be able move quickly and run in a fight, and…and I can't." _I don't know what it is, but something's wrong. I can feel it somehow… And this is not me being paranoid or terrified. It's just…I don't know._

Anna helped Elsa sit back down in her chair and then plopped down in another across from her. "You could always make an impenetrable ice bubble or 'fly' away, sis. I don't think you have to be able to run."

Elsa just looked her sister right in the face and held out her bandaged hand and wrist. "I need both hands to 'fly'. And an ice bubble only protects me. That's a defensive maneuver. I wouldn't be able to fight from inside it to defend others, at least not very well," she said flatly. "All someone would need to do is distract me with a direct frontal attack, and then knock me out or whatever from behind." She crossed her arms around her middle and looked down to her lap. "I don't have a very pleasant imagination, Anna. I can picture a million things going wrong if I were to get in a fight like this," Elsa said half to herself and half to Anna.

"Like what?" Anna asked quickly. "We'll just have to come up with ways to counter all those things. That's all! We can do that." She hopped to her feet and put Elsa's brace on her own leg before dramatically slumping to the ground, which made Elsa giggle a bit. "All right, Elsa, you're smart, almost guaranteed smarter than whoever the real bad person would be, so you play the bad guy. I'm you. You've managed to knock me out from behind, like you suggested might happen a minute ago. What would you do next? Also I think your legs are slightly longer than mine. Your brace doesn't fit me right."

Elsa began outright laughing at that. "Anna, take the stupid thing off! You're going to want to get it off in, oh…I predict about two minutes," she teased. _This is actually a good idea, though. Play out whatever might happen and figure out what to do._

Anna stuck out her tongue at her sister. "I'm just trying to be as realistic as possible," she announced proudly, still lying on the floor. "Might help you figure out what to do better."

Elsa smiled and shook her head; then thought for a moment. "It would depend on what I wanted to do with Queen Elsa. If I wanted her dead, I would have shot to kill in the first place. Therefore…in this scenario, I, as the villain, must want her captured alive for some reason," she mused. "I'd keep her knocked out as long as possible. Makes her easier to deal with and guarantees she won't fight back."

Anna grinned from her spot on the floor. "I, as Elsa, am now starting to wake up. Now what are you going to do?" She sat up and looked at her sister, wondering what Elsa would say.

"I'd knock you back out again," Elsa said. "Unless I wanted to ask you questions…which I think a smart villain would. I need to neutralize you somehow and still have you awake, then." _This is weird, but this is actually fun, playacting with Anna. We used to do pretend things like this when we were little…_

"Ah, but Elsa still has her powers and can simply freeze you where you stand!" Anna announced. She tried to stand up and immediately plopped back on the floor. "Um, Elsa…how do you stand up from sitting on the floor wearing this thing? It's impossible!" _This is what Elsa deals with every day? And she's never really said that much about it. Certainly not complain that she can't stand up easily…_ Anna glanced at her sister's brace on her own leg and suddenly felt awful. She could take it off and be perfectly fine, but Elsa needed it and couldn't stand or walk without it.

Elsa gave her sister a lopsided smile. "I usually just use my powers to stand back up," she said quietly. "I'm sure there's a way to stand up without having to do that, but I certainly don't know how. Anna, it's okay." Elsa saw the stricken look on her sister's face and immediately knew what was wrong. "Just take it off and be glad you don't need it. Now you know why I'm scared of having to be in a fight."

Anna just looked down, her eyes filling with tears. "Elsa, you…you…I'm gonna make sure you don't have to get in a fight. I'm going to take care of you…I…I… I'm sorry I treated the whole thing like a game like that. That was really mean…"

Elsa slid herself out of her chair to the floor and scooted over to Anna. "It's completely okay, Anna. I need your sense of humor," she said softly as she gave her little sister a hug. "Don't forget…I do still have my powers. I'm not as helpless as you might think, even if I can't stand up or walk without that brace on my leg. I just…I guess I'm just nervous."

"Can I try walking with it? So I can know what it's like to be you?" Anna asked, hiding her own face in her sister's shoulder.

"No," Elsa replied instantly. "Because you're just going to beat yourself up about it afterwards. You're going to take it off and give it back to me, and then we will continue figuring out the scenario like we were doing before." She hugged Anna tightly as she added, "Thank you for trying to understand, but I really, really don't want you feeling bad for something neither of us can change."

Anna thought for a minute as she handed Elsa's brace back to Elsa. "Y'know…maybe if you practiced a whole bunch, you could learn how to walk without it again," she suggested. "I mean, I think you can move your leg without it, so…"

"Anna, it's really awkward. I don't have much control over it and it's all floppy and weak," Elsa said softly. "Grand Pabbie told us outright it was permanent. I'm not going to get my hopes up just to be disappointed." She instinctively jerked her foot aside when Anna tickled it and tried to keep from giggling. "That tickles, Anna!"

"See, you can move it just fine!" Anna announced happily. "You just have to believe in yourself!"

Elsa scowled. "You sound like a storybook, Anna. Just stop it, okay? Leave me alone about it, please. I'm sorry you're stuck with a half-crippled sister, but I can't fix that. You're just making it worse. I've been fine, so _please_ …just leave it be." She quickly fastened the brace back around her own leg; and immediately just scooted as close to her little sister as possible, secretly hoping Anna would hold her, although she refused to ask to be held. _Stop it, Elsa. What is wrong with you? What are you so afraid of? You know Anna will help you figure out what to do should you need to defend anyone or anything…_

 _I'm scared._

Anna instantly took Elsa in her arms and went to sit in one of the parlor chairs when she felt her sister struggling not to cry next to her. "Shh, Elsa, it's all right. Nobody's going to hurt you again," she whispered in her sister's ear. "I love you just like you are. And I always will." Anna jumped in surprise when a fat snowflake landed right on her nose. And then another. And another. "Elsa…what's wrong?" Anna asked slowly.

Elsa didn't answer for a moment; she just kept her hands held close against her chest; her slender body trembling all over as she scrunched her eyes shut and pressed herself close to Anna. _Answer, Elsa. You know exactly what's wrong. You're frightened for some reason._ "I'm…I'm s-scared," she stammered finally. "Anna, did I lose control again?!"

"Just a few snowflakes, sis. No big deal," Anna assured the scared girl in her arms. "Elsa, please! You're all right." She suddenly stopped talking and bit her lip when Elsa kept her gaze on her hands and shook her head hard. Anna decided to try a different method to get her sister to feel better. "Elsa, why are you scared? Maybe we can fix whatever it is."

Elsa's sad blue eyes looked up at her little sister as she replied, "I don't know. There's something wrong with me, Anna. Inside. All hurting and depressed and I don't know or understand why. Can you…fix me?" _No, she can't. You're just always going to be this way. Why not? You were ruined inside for thirteen years; why not now? You're never going to be anything but a terrified little girl that needs someone to take care of her. You're pathetic, Elsa. You deserve to be hurt. Maybe you should have cut your hand worse so it wouldn't go away as quickly._ "No, I _won't_ and I'm _not!_ You leave me alone! I'm here because I'm supposed to defend Anna and my country from something! Shut up!" she shouted at the nasty thoughts running through her mind.

Anna knew Elsa wasn't shouting at her, so she just held Elsa close and stroked her hair gently, trying to make her feel better. "Elsa, you _are_ going to get better. All this is from you being so sick, and you know it. You're going to be fine. See this?" Anna asked, carefully holding her sister's bandaged hand. "That's messed up and hurt right now, but it's going to heal. It's already better than right after it happened, right?"

"It's still messed up," Elsa replied quietly. "Just like the rest of me. Why do you still stay with me and hold me? Aren't you tired of trying to fix s-something that's broken? Tired of…me?" _I'm tired of me. I know it's from me being ill, but that doesn't unbreak me. I'm just…_

 _…Elsa. Just Elsa. She's damaged inside, but she's still useful. She can at least help defend Arendelle even if she's not able to do so on her own. She can at least help._

"You are not broken, Elsa," Anna said firmly. "You are my sweet big sister who needs help healing inside and outside. Even if you _were_ so-called 'broken', I'd still love and take care of you. Because you deserve love and care more than anybody else in the world. A broken Elsa would just need lots of hugs and comforting words 'til all the hurting pieces inside her healed. I know you, Elsa. I remember the way you were when you were eighteen. That poor girl was broken, and she managed to turn into the confident girl you were before you got sick. So I know you're gonna be fine."

Elsa shuddered in her sister's arms and hid her face in Anna's shoulder. "Anna…I…I'm…I started thinking about _that_ again…that's sort of why I hurt my hand…I was trying to convince myself I was okay and I squeezed the ice shard too hard but I didn't know I did and it cut up my palm and fingers and-"

"Well, you just told me what happened and what you were really trying to do, so I think that means you _are_ okay. Mostly," Anna interrupted. It made Anna's heart ache to see Elsa's bandages knowing exactly how her sister had ended up hurting herself. She finally just hugged Elsa tightly, wishing she could make her sister feel better instantly instead of trying to take time to recover. "You're gonna be fine, Elsa. You're gonna be fine." _She's going to be perfectly fine. I just gotta take care of her. I will_ not _leave her alone again. She's not ready to be by herself yet._

"Will you help me take care of Anikka?" Elsa asked. _Anna is right. I'm going to be fine. I wouldn't have been allowed to come back if I wasn't going to be fine._

"Sure, but she may not let me. She's only comfortable with you," Anna replied, letting Elsa struggle to her feet.

Elsa held out her good hand once she was standing up. "Come on, Anna. We have a fire to investigate. And Anikka will let you take care of her; she just may not be willing to talk to you." She paused before adding, "I think I have a plan."

"What's that?" Anna asked excitedly.

"Since gossip spreads quickly, I want you to talk about how it's taking forever for your sister to recover and things like that. Make it sound like I can barely walk and things like that. That-"

Anna frowned. "Um, Elsa, that's the exact truth. You _can't_ walk much without getting tired or collapsing."

Elsa gave Anna a sharp glare, but she was smiling. "As I was saying… That should lure out the perpetrator into the open because he or she will think I can't do anything and won't know anything about it anyways. In reality, _you_ will be looking for clues with Kristoff. You can report your findings back to me. I'll stay here and try to figure out just what I'm capable of helping with. Maybe Kai could help me, since he's the one who helped me learn a few fighting and defensive maneuvers shortly after the Great Thaw." _I actually feel good about this. That should work. At least we have a plan of action now._

 **A/N: So the antagonist has made her appearance.:P Since she's an OC, hopefully I can make her three-dimensional and not a cardboard cut-out...:P Anyways.**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **QueenofIcelandia-Thank you:)**

 **raven678-I think both Elsa and Anikka would help each other, honestly, even though Anikka is only five.:P Agdar has a genuine point for not wanting Elsa to leave the castle yet, but yes, she had to. So...it'd be bad either way.:/ The snowgirl (Rania) actually doesn't exist anymore, and neither does Marshmallow...they sacrificed themselves to give Elsa her life back, remember?:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-I think that was all Elsa needed right then...just a reassuring hug.:) Technically Elsa IS better already; she knows she's the one who has a special job just for her. She's just still hurting inside.:/**

 **Dragonheart35-And I PMed you, so I won't make you reread the same thing here.:P**

 **Mandy-I'm glad you liked it!:) Without giving any spoilers, I will say that Anikka is not going back to the orphanage. I just can't see Elsa doing that to her. Elsa _will_ take her family to the ice palace eventually, but I'm not going to say when.:P Jade is the main antagonist; Espen is her younger brother; and Rolf is simply someone she's hired to help her. Jade's motivations will become clearer soon (as in, probably in this chapter). I will say it has little to nothing to do with the 'eternal winter'.:P Elsa's leg is never going to be like it was before she got hurt, but that doesn't mean it won't get at least a little bit better by the end of the story. That's all I'm going to say at the moment.:)**

 **On to the story!:)**

FIVE DAYS LATER…

Elsa's plan had been going well. Anna and Kristoff went out into Arendelle to look for any possible clues, while Elsa tried to figure out new defensive and fighting strategies with Kai in the empty ballroom. On the first day, she had lasted only ten minutes before getting too tired to continue, but Elsa could feel herself growing stronger. Kai had outright refused to let her use her right hand for anything until it had completely healed, and now Elsa was very happy that only the slightest traces of all those cuts remained. They had almost completely disappeared. And her wrist didn't hurt anymore either. "Kai, what if I just plain don't hear someone coming up behind me?" Elsa asked now. "If I don't hear it before the someone gets close, I'm in trouble…"

"We practice enough so that won't happen, Miss Elsa," Kai said firmly. "You know you can't run, and making an ice bubble is purely a last resort because you can't defend anyone else from inside. That means you have to have _something_ else you can do in all directions. Something you can do quickly and accurately. Your friend Kiara has volunteered to help. She will try to sneak up on you while you keep your eyes closed and tag you. If you hear her, open your eyes and throw a snowball at her. In a real fight, you would use ice. All right?"

Elsa nodded. "Okay. I can do that." _I think._ Elsa closed her eyes and almost immediately heard Kiara's attempting-to-be-quiet footsteps. On instinct, Elsa threw a snowball at Kiara without even opening her eyes. "Did I get you, Kiara?" she asked hopefully, now opening her eyes.

Kiara grinned and brushed snow off her coat. "Yep! Good thing I put on that coat you gave me. You didn't even open your eyes! Snow Queen Elsa, do your snowballs react to your thoughts rather than the direction you throw them? You know, like 'I want the snowball to hit Kiara' rather than 'I'm ever so carefully aiming at Kiara and I hope my traje-trajectory is right'?"

"I think it's both, but I'm not sure," Elsa replied. "I could experiment and see." This time Elsa turned her back and purposely threw a snowball in the opposite direction from where Kiara stood. Concentrating hard, Elsa found herself able to reverse the snowball's trajectory and it instantly flew back over her own head…and landed a mere six inches or so away from Kiara, perhaps less.

Kai gave Elsa a proud fatherly smile. "I daresay you would easily be able to do that with a bit of practice. Look where your snowball landed, Miss Elsa," he said, gently taking Elsa by the shoulders and turning her around.

Elsa's blue eyes went wide. "I actually did that?!" she asked incredulously.

Just then, little Anikka came running in as fast as her legs could carry her with Olaf waddling after her and yanked on Elsa's skirt frantically. "Elsa's sister missing!" she announced fearfully.

* * *

IN THE CASTLE DUNGEON…

"Psst. You want freedom?" Hans heard a voice ask. A small light blue stone tumbled through the window to the cell's floor.

Hans narrowed his eyes at the stone. That was no average rock. Somehow he was absolutely certain it had some sort of magical property. And not Elsa's. "Who are you and why are you here?" he asked in a flat, menacing tone.

"No need to be so threatening," the voice answered. "I can set you free if you agree to assist me. You will have all the proof you need if you simply pick up that rock."

"I need to see who I am speaking with," Hans replied suspiciously. Also, he knew the extent of Elsa's powers. Sick or not, that girl probably wouldn't be so lenient if he tried to usurp her again. Besides, he hated to admit it, but a tiny bit of him actually liked her. She was fragile and yet tough as nails. She had an insanely good sibling relationship with her little sister; she had a whole kingdom under her command. She could have had him killed with a flick of her wrist if she had so chosen. But she had simply sent him to the castle dungeon and made it so that he had to communicate only with his own little sister, Kiara. He knew she was simply trying to repair the two Westergard siblings' relationship. Hans had privately decided he would not exact revenge on the girl or her kingdom again, although he was still angry and bitter about the whole thing. _But freedom?_

A shadowy face appeared at the window. "Satisfied? Pick up the rock and you will have…part of the power you have desired," the voice said.

 _Well, it can't hurt to just pick it up,_ Hans reasoned. He could always put it right back down again, couldn't he? He picked up the small blue stone and instantly felt a pleasantly cool sensation running through him all over. The floor beneath him began crackling with ice. Hans made a twisted grin at the stone. _This is no stone. It's a crystal, and it's imbued with the same powers Elsa has._

"Now don't be too excited, Prince Hans. That crystal doesn't have nearly as much power as Queen Elsa has. But she also thinks she is the only one with ice powers. Rather unsettling for her, don't you think?" The shadowy figure burned through the bars of the window and climbed inside. "I have a fiery version of the crystal I've given you, plus plenty more different ones where I live. Queen Elsa is not invincible any longer." Jade tossed off her hood and looked Hans in the face. "You know what you want to do."

Hans looked from the ice crystal in his hand to Jade's fire crystal and sighed. Could he really purposely hurt the Snow Queen yet again? But this was his ticket out of here. Magical power crystals were foolproof. Elsa could not fight all of those crystals at once, although he was sure she would easily defeat one at a time. "I need to think about it," he said finally.

"What is there to think about, you fool?!" Jade spat. "I'm offering you power and a way to get out of the castle dungeon. Don't you want that?"

"Look, I won't tell anyone about you or what you're doing, but I won't blindly help you, either. Get out, crystal girl. If you have power crystals, you don't need my help anyway. You have an ulterior motive," Hans informed her.

"Yes, more employees," Jade replied, crossing her arms. "Right this moment, I have the princess captured. She will be my helper rather soon herself." She bent close to Hans, her brown-black hair falling over her face. "I have shot her in the heart with fire. Fire brews hate, you know," she whispered. "Toward all the people you love most."

Hans's green eyes went wide as he backed away. "The queen will kill you," he said, stalling for time. _She has to be lying. But why would she? I would have done the same myself not so long ago…_

"Oh, I think not. I daresay the Snow Queen will break down instead. I need her, too. Alive." _The Arendelle royal family_ ruined _mine…it's Elsa's idiotic parents' fault my parents are dead…_ Jade paused and then scrambled back out the window. "I shall return tomorrow. You'd better have made your choice by then."

* * *

"Elsa, sweetie, we _will_ find Anna," Idun said firmly that evening, holding her eldest daughter securely in her arms. "You sent guards out to continue searching throughout the night. I won't have you out there all night too. You're much better, but you still aren't quite back to normal." She gently stroked Elsa's hair when Elsa hid her face in her mother's shoulder. "Everything's going to be all right. We'll find Anna and you're going to be all right, too."

 _I can't be all right without Anna. Who on earth would have done that? And how did he or she do that without attracting attention? I know Anna would have made a big fuss. I know she would._ "Mama, the only solid clue Anna and Kristoff had found out was that it was a female wearing a hood. Who would want to kidnap Anna like that? I want my baby sister back!" Elsa refused to cry; she would _not_ break down again. "And what if whoever took Anna is hurting her and I'm here safe in the castle? I have to do something!" Elsa paused for a moment as a horrible thought struck her. "It's my fault someone took Anna because I sent her out to do the investigating!" _You shouldn't be here, Elsa…you're causing trouble again…it'd be so easy to leave…_

 _Shut up. I'm here because I have a job to do. I have to protect Arendelle and my family._

Idun almost immediately realized what thoughts were tormenting Elsa again when she saw the little ice shard Elsa had abruptly hurled across the room. "Good job, sweetie. You got rid of it on your own," she told Elsa, hugging her close. "Elsa, do _not_ hurt yourself. You're stronger than that now."

Elsa looked down at her hands and then back at her mother. "I don't _feel_ stronger than that now," she whispered. "I'm better, but…I just…I just want to feel happy and at peace again." Now Elsa's tears streamed down her cheeks, and she stood up and stumbled to her bed and hid under the covers, clutching the two dolls Anna had given her for her birthday as tight as she could. _I want Anna back. I don't want to be here; I want Anna and I want to see that shining gate again. I wasn't messed up anymore there. I was just plain Elsa, and just plain Elsa wasn't hurting or depressed or anything anymore…_

 _You chose to come back, Elsa. You knew you would still feel hurt and pain or whatever else here. You came back anyway. To defend Arendelle and help Anna. You can't renege on that decision now. Besides, leaving is selfish. Anna is far more important than me; I have to help her. Dump those nasty thoughts and get it together, Elsa. Mama is right. You_ are _stronger than this, or you wouldn't have come back. You can cry if you need to; you can get upset if you need to; but you cannot completely lose it. Period. You will be that invincible icy fortress you need to be. Starting now._ Elsa sighed heavily and just lay motionless for a few seconds, calming herself down and thinking about what she needed to do. She could not start withdrawing into herself and her thoughts; she needed to stay clearheaded and 'on top of her game', so to speak. There was a little sister somewhere who needed her help. _Don't worry, Anna. I'm coming. You've been helping me; now it's my turn to help you._

Elsa sat up and looked at the chess set sitting on her desk. _This is a chess game. My opponent has made two big moves-set a fire, kidnap the princess-but every chess master has her weaknesses…And I have to find my opponent's._

"Mama? Change of plans. I need your help. The Snow Queen needs to make her move. After all, the queen is the most powerful piece in a chess game. She just needs helpers. I've been laying low, and haven't really done anything. That's about to change."

* * *

Anna stood grumpily in a tiny rock room in Jade's cave home late that night. Technically Anna had decided the tiny room was more like a cage-three walls and part of the ceiling were rock, but the fourth wall and the rest of the ceiling were bars. She knew whatever that girl had shot her with was some kind of magic, and she dearly wanted to get to the trolls before whatever it was began working on her. But there was no way out; there was literally _nothing_ in the cage-looking room, and even if she managed to break out, there were three people she would have to get by, one of which had some sort of magic. "Look, what did you do to me?" Anna demanded now. "Since it's pretty obvious I can't get out, it can't hurt you guys to tell me," she added logically.

Jade gave her a bored expression. "You'll find out soon enough. Shut up, will you? Espen and Rolf are trying to sleep."

"I'll scream," Anna threatened.

"Doesn't matter. Your voice won't make it out of the cave, Princess Anna. It just echoes off the walls for some reason." Jade had figured that out shortly after she and her brother (plus Rolf) had found this cave. You could scream your head off and while it was deafening in the cave, no one could hear it even right outside the cave for some reason. Well, you'd hear high-pitched squeaky noises, but that was about it.

Anna sank back to the floor, knowing Jade was telling the truth. She could lay down with two or three feet to spare lengthwise, but the width of the tiny enclosure wasn't even five feet across. _It's a good thing I'm not claustrophobic…_ Anna suddenly realized something else. Jade didn't just want her; she wanted Elsa. Anna was positive of that. _If Jade gets Elsa, I bet I know exactly where she's going to put my sister. In here._

 _Wait…so? She stayed in her room for ages by herself and ignored me. It doesn't matter. The Snow Queen can just stay locked up forever for all I care._

"Stop it! Stop it, stop it!" Anna scooted back into the far corner, horrified and wondering where those mean thoughts had come from. _I think I know. Jade's magic hit me in the heart…_ "Jade, what have you done?!"

"I think you know already," Jade replied dryly. She held up the fire crystal. "Soon you'll be more than willing to help me with what I want. You'll tell me helpful information voluntarily, too. Your family ruined mine. Now I get to return the favor."

"Just…whatever you do, _please_ don't hurt Elsa," Anna begged. "She doesn't deserve that!" _She hurt me when we were little. Only fair to make that even._ Anna closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, trying to will the mean thoughts to go away.

Jade looked Anna right in the eyes. "I won't be hurting her, mostly. _You_ will."

* * *

Early in the morning two days later, Elsa rode her horse out of the castle gates, her fear of falling off because of her leg forgotten. She still didn't feel completely stable astride Lorin, but she didn't care anymore. Elsa wore an unassuming dark blue dress, not an ice-dress, hoping that would make her a bit less noticeable. "C'mon, Lorin. We're going to find Anna," she whispered to the horse. _Elsa, stay calm. The guards told you they found footprints and signs of a struggle a short ways into the mountains right before you left. Keep your eyes and ears peeled._

Elsa suddenly remembered something she thought perhaps would help her mission. Whatever this was was something only she was supposed to be able to defend Arendelle and her family from. That meant it probably had something to do with magic, right? She rode straight to the Valley of the Living Rock to talk to Grand Pabbie.

* * *

"You are destined for great hardship, but then happiness more than equal to it, Queen Elsa," Grand Pabbie told her.

Elsa clutched Lorin's reins tightly, not particularly liking the sound of that. _Terrific. Some other rotten, horrible thing I'm supposed to deal with. Anything for Anna. Anything, anything for Anna,_ she reminded herself.

"Also, I do not know for certain, but it would be logical to say that since all of the trolls' power crystals are missing, you are needed to defeat whoever stole them," Pabbie went on. "Queen Elsa, there is one thing I need to show you. It will help you with your mission; to be able to deal with it without breaking down."

Ice crackled beneath Elsa's feet as she watched the hologramic vision Pabbie showed her. Just like when she was little, Pabbie's vision scared her badly. Elsa watched the blue figure of herself try to stand up from a crumpled heap on the ground and fail miserably. A pink figure with pigtail braids appeared next to the blue one and shook its finger at the hologramic Elsa before dragging her to her feet. The scene changed to the hologramic Elsa bound and unable to speak, and then the vision ended. Half of Elsa felt like screaming and the other half wanted to curl up and cry. _Okay, Elsa, calm down. Pabbie said 'happiness' too, so that's not the end._ "Pabbie, that pink figure just happened to have pigtail braids, right? It isn't Anna, is it?" she asked hopefully. "Anna would never do that to me!"

Pabbie looked Elsa straight in the eyes. "Not of her own accord, she wouldn't," he said gently. "Your sister is not in physical danger, but she is in danger on the inside."

Elsa shrank backwards, not wanting to know or hear any more about this. "Who's hurting Anna?" she whispered. "Where is she? If I find her quickly enough, will she still be her usual self?" _Anna, please don't hurt me. I can't take it…please…_ Elsa suddenly realized the old troll had turned back into a rock, leaving her and Lorin alone in the valley. Wind whistled as a sudden breeze whipped up, and Elsa shivered as she wrapped her arms around her middle, hugging herself. She wasn't in the least cold, but this whole thing unnerved and frightened her. Someone had taken Anna, and as near as Elsa could tell, that someone had poisoned Anna's mind somehow. What if she couldn't figure out how to get Anna back to her usual upbeat and happy, loving self? What if she broke down inside and couldn't think logically anymore? _I want to go home._

 _You can't, Elsa. You have to find Anna and rescue her, no matter what the cost is. You can do it. You have to._

"C'mon, Lorin," Elsa muttered determinedly as she struggled back up on her horse. "We have to find Anna." Lorin nickered quietly, and Elsa smiled a tiny bit as she gently stroked Lorin's mane. "You agree we should find her too, don't you?" Elsa asked. "Anna is the one who convinced me I could ride a horse back in the summer even though I hadn't done that since I was eight. I didn't even fall off the first time, either." Elsa giggled to herself, remembering how Anna had half-teased, half-reassured her by saying that if clumsy Anna could ride, then surely Elsa could as well. _I will rescue you, Anna. You rescued me even though it hurt you. Now it's my turn._

Elsa had just turned a bend in the path into the mountains when she spotted what looked to her like a concealed entrance to something. Too late, she heard the sound of something whizzing through the air that hit her and knocked her off balance, sending her tumbling into a soft pile of powdery snow that instinctively formed beneath her. Elsa blinked in confusion as she half-registered Lorin neighing in panic and then galloping back towards Arendelle before she passed out and knew nothing more. _I wasn't shot. Somebody…knocked me out…I thi-_

* * *

Jade revealed herself from behind a tree once she was sure Elsa wasn't awake anymore. _Good. Coast is clear._ She ran to pick Elsa up and then ducked into the concealed entrance to the cave. "I got her," she called. "Easy, just like I thought it would be. I knew Queen Elsa would come after the princess. That tranquilizer thing worked perfectly. Now Anna, you have to tell us how to keep your sister from freezing all of us when she wakes up. I need to talk to her, and besides, I haven't got access to enough tranquilizer to keep her knocked out all the time."

Over the last two days, Anna had tried as hard as she could to fight whatever Jade had done to her, but now she was unable to do that. She felt nothing at all when she saw Elsa lying on the floor. She didn't hate her, but she didn't love her either. Elsa may as well have been a rock; Anna felt that indifferent. Jade had let her out of the cage-room once she was sure Anna wouldn't attempt to escape. "Jade, what did you bring Elsa here for?" Anna asked in a bored voice.

Jade huffed in annoyance. It was taking much longer than she had anticipated to get Anna to be against Elsa. Even now, the girl just seemed…bored. And indifferent. "I told you I need her for something. Now hurry up and tell me what I need to do with or to her to keep her from freezing all of us," she ordered.

"Ok, fine. Elsa uses her hands to control her powers mostly," Anna said. "But you prob'ly knew that already."

"Anna, stop stalling! Of course I knew that! She's going to wake up soon. Is the queen immune to heat as well as cold?" Jade asked.

"No. She's heat sensitive," Anna replied.

Jade grabbed the fire crystal and sent a small stream of flame towards Elsa's hand. A blue glow exploded from the unconscious girl's body and sent Jade flat to the ground in a daze. _Wha…what was that?! I know she is still unconscious!_

Sure enough, Elsa hadn't moved at all. Her powers were simply responding to the intrusion subconsciously. Even though Elsa wasn't aware of her surroundings, her innate ice magic still tried to defend her.

"Try natural fire or heat," Rolf suggested. "Maybe her magic just responds to magic automatically."

Elsa jerked awake with a pained scream when she felt something far, far, _far_ too hot burning her sensitive, cool skin. Elsa's blue eyes darted from one side to the other in a panic as she tried to jerk her arms away from the two people holding them still. White-hot pain burned all over her palms, and when she instinctively tried to use her powers, she nearly blacked out from the intense pain. _I need my ice whether it hurts or not! I have to get out of here!_ "Let me go!" she finally shouted.

Elsa suddenly realized nobody was trying to burn her anymore, although the pain remained. She tried to stand up to get out of there as fast as she could, but she found herself unable to do so since she couldn't even use her hands to push herself to her feet, let alone use her powers. Elsa scrunched her eyes shut as she tried once more to summon the ice inside her, which usually came naturally. Snowflakes tumbled down around her, but she couldn't tell whether it was from her distress or if she was making it snow on purpose. _Probably the former,_ she thought absently as someone dragged her to her feet. "Anna?!" Elsa asked as she briefly saw the someone's face in the dim light.

"You're staying in here," Anna said in a monotone, pushing Elsa into the tiny cage-room.

"Anna, please! It's me, Elsa!" Elsa exclaimed desperately, willing her tears not to fall, despite the physical pain of her badly burned hands and the emotional pain of Anna treating her like this. She scooted helplessly to the far corner, pressing herself against the rock wall as if that would make her disappear. _It's not Anna's fault; it's not Anna's fault,_ she told herself in her head. Elsa knew something had happened to Anna; these were _not_ Anna's voluntary actions.

"You ignored me for thirteen years," Anna said now. "You hurt me."

Now Elsa's tears began trickling down her cheeks, slowly at first, and then faster and faster. "I d-didn't want t-to ignore you," she whimpered almost inaudibly. She didn't make any effort to fight back when she felt Anna taking the brace off her weak left leg, leaving her completely incapacitated, unable to even stand up. Elsa just cried, holding her burned hands close against her chest. "A-Anna…please? I…I'm…I'm s-sorry," she stuttered.

"It's too late for sorry."

Poor Elsa had no idea what to do. The logical part of her mind was screaming that this was _not_ her baby sister and that someone had done something to poison Anna's mind somehow, but all the same, it left Elsa hurting both inside and out. Her hands throbbed badly; those burns were the worst pain Elsa had felt in her life. And she had absolutely no idea what had happened to Anna. _Why? Why is this happening? I know someone else is behind this, but why would anyone do this? I don't understand!_

 _And my hands hurt so much._ Elsa bit back a pained yelp as she held up one hand, trying to see from the dim light of a lantern overhead. _Just like I thought…_ Elsa could see blisters and red, peeling skin all over her hand. She wouldn't have cared, except that it _hurt_. After noticing there was ice she'd made in her fright and upset all over the ground, Elsa bit her lip before forcing herself to just lay both palms flat on the ice. Maybe since she was immune to cold, it would have the same effect cool water would have on burns to a normal person. _Okay, Elsa, you need to think. You can't get all upset and start bawling. You need to put the pieces together and escape and fix Anna back to normal._ Elsa mentally willed the ice in the cage-room to remain permanently and not melt unless she let it; that way she would always have a source of cold…pleasantly cool to her, that is.

Elsa winced in pain as she moved her hands again, holding them protectively close against her chest. "Why did you capture me like this?" Elsa's strong, authoritative voice rang out through the cave in sharp contrast to her desperate cries from just a few minutes before…and the fact that Elsa knew that she was still helpless to escape. She couldn't use her hands; and she didn't have her brace, so she couldn't even stand up. _I could try…it can't make any more trouble than I'm in already anyways…_ Still, at the moment, Elsa thought feigning that she was completely unperturbed and in control was the best course of action. At least for now.

Jade involuntarily jumped at hearing Elsa's question. She had been expecting to hear that sooner or later, but not in that tone of voice. "Shut up until I say you can talk," she hedged for now.

 _She won't kill me. She wouldn't have taken the time to make sure I'd be completely conscious but incapacitated otherwise._ Elsa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I am the queen of Arendelle, not you. I shall ask what I please," she announced in that same confident voice. Elsa managed to move to the more well-lit half of the cage-room and stared Jade right in the face. _Wait, I know who this is! This is the one person who dissed me after I made that speech back in the summer. Her name is Jade._

"You don't be quiet, I'll make you," Jade threatened, hoping that would make Elsa be quiet until she needed her. She was fairly certain Elsa had already figured out that Jade did not want to kill her, so that was one threat she knew would not work. Elsa wasn't stupid.

Elsa glared silently; then just said, "You have made a wrong choice," when she realized glaring wasn't very threatening when it was from someone with badly injured hands and couldn't stand up. She looked over at Anna, who was just staring at her with an emotionless, blank expression. _How can I help Anna when I can't even free myself?_

Jade was tired of listening to Elsa practically lecturing her, so she strode over to the tiny cage-room to open the door. "I told you to be quiet! I know you know I need you alive, but I don't need you talking. Not right now," she said in annoyance.

Elsa impulsively scooted backwards away from Jade, but she soon found herself trapped against the far wall. "Leave me alone! You know I can't get out of here!" she half-shouted; then winced as she blocked her face with one arm, trying to avoid whatever bad thing that she was sure was going to happen to her. _Calm down, Elsa. Calm down!_

"Good grief, I'm not trying to beat you up," Jade said disdainfully. "Why would I do that?"

Elsa dropped her arm in surprise, her blue eyes looking quizzically at the other girl. "You burned my h-" she started to say; then immediately grew alarmed when she felt something forced into her mouth and tied tightly around her head, preventing her from speaking. Elsa scrunched her eyes shut against the pain as she tried to undo the knot behind her head, but her fingers wouldn't cooperate at all.

Jade scoffed at Elsa's feeble efforts. "Good luck getting it off; I don't think you're going to be able to. And I only burned your hands because I didn't want you freezing your way out the second you woke up. That's the only reason I did it-I'm not some crazy sadistic monster. Seems to be working well enough."

 _You are too a crazy monster. Prob'ly not sadistic, but that doesn't make you much better._ Elsa glanced down at her ruined hands for a moment and felt a single tear trickle down her cheek. A tiny bit of her wanted to keep fighting, but mostly she just wanted to give up and go _home_. She still didn't understand what Jade wanted; and she felt…broken inside. Elsa remembered the indifferent way Anna had taken her brace away and said 'It's too late for sorry'; and she slumped on her side in the darkest corner of the cage-room curled in a ball as she finally broke down in sobs. "I still love you, Anna," she tried to say, but the cloth gagging her made anything she said completely unintelligible. _I want to go home! I can't fix this…I'm helpless and I'm in pain and Anna's mind has been poisoned somehow and just…just…I don't know._

 _I don't know._

 _No, that's not true. I do know. I know what I need to do. I need to rescue us-all of us-somehow. You can be in check and get out of it before your opponent pulls a checkmate. Jade has put me in check. Not checkmate. There has to be a way out. I just have to find it._

 _I hope._

 **A/N: Um...that happened.:/ Just remember there IS a happy ending. Also remember Elsa can be really creative.:)**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **QueenofIcelandia-Anna and Elsa will be fine. Eventually.:)**

 **Guest-I don't want to give a bunch of spoilers, so I'll just say...somewhere in the middle? Anyways, it'll be explained somewhat soon.:) And no, that doesn't sound bad.**

 **Elsa Tomago-I think Elsa's reaction is something we all already know.:/ She's upset... Anyways, don't forget there IS a happy ending.:)**

 **Dragonheart35/Dragonheart77-Hmm, that's an interesting idea, one I hadn't thought of. (I have another theory about how Elsa could possibly be able to use her powers in some way without being able to use her hands.:P) Although I think maybe I'll try to incorporate that idea later on in the story.:) My headcanon: If someone was born with fire powers (ie., NOT the power crystal), it would cause the effect that you just said on top of brewing hate. Since the power crystals are all weaker than any innate power of the same type could be, they can't cause quite as much damage. I hope you upload a Frozen story eventually, lol.:)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:)**

 **Mandy-Of course there is a way to get Anna back to normal. I wouldn't leave Anna like that permanently.:P Yep, Jade was briefly in "The Coming Storm". And yes, it's Elsa's turn to help Anna instead of the other way around.:) They'll escape eventually.:)**

 **WarriorQueen 14-Hmm, evidently yes.:P I hadn't noticed it before, but you're right-the trouble Elsa & co. keep ending up with seems to be getting more serious. Oh well. Happy endings always win, though.:) I think while Elsa may like to do things on her own and not need help, she still wants to be loved and taken care of...even if she herself doesn't even realize that. Yes, Elsa's learning how to think rationally when she's stuck in a stressful situation, which, like you pointed out, is something she needs to be able to do. That's awesome, 'cause that's EXACTLY the sort of character I was going for with Jade. Also keep in mind she's only a couple years older than Elsa herself. I already know what I'm going to do with potentially redeeming characters; and I'll just say wait and see.:P**

 **On to the story!:)**

Elsa couldn't sleep at all that night because of the pain still lingering in her hands, so she knew exactly what was happening when she saw a tall dark figure with a candle coming near her. _Please don't hurt me. Please. I can't even scream, at least not well…_

"Uh….you don't have to be all terrified, Queen Elsa," a male voice whispered. "I'm Espen. Jade's brother? I brought some stuff for your hands, that's all." Espen left the barred door open and slowly knelt next to the scared girl curled up in a corner.

Elsa wanted to protest and just get out of there, but she couldn't talk and part of her was still sure this was a trap of some sort. But she just watched and didn't complain while the someone gently cleaned her hands in a bowl of cool water and then started bandaging the nasty burns. Elsa hissed in pain when she felt her hand forced to stay flat and a splint pressed against it. _I know it has to stay flat or the skin won't heal right, but it still hurts!_

Espen winced along with Elsa, knowing she had to be in awful pain and she wasn't even reacting much to it. "I'm sorry, Queen Elsa. I agree with my sister's goals, but I don't agree with how she's carrying 'em out. Hurting you isn't going to fix our family… She went overboard. She just didn't want you to use your powers and escape…" Espen jumped to his feet suddenly when he heard his sister's footsteps. "Jade'll be mad if she finds me in here," he whispered. "I gotta go!"

Elsa looked at her bandaged hand and smiled a bit. Maybe she could convince that boy to help her escape since he'd voluntarily been trying to care for her hands. _What did he mean 'fix our family'? What happened to Jade and Espen that would make them want to hurt me or Anna?_ She abruptly sat up when she saw a different shadow entering the tiny cage-room and just stared worriedly at Jade and Anna. _What do you want?_

"I can't let my stupid brother fix your hands. The second they don't hurt so much, you'll just freeze your way out," Jade told her. "Anna? Your move."

Elsa didn't cry, but she was trembling all over from the pain of exposing her burns back to the open air after they'd been cared for properly. "Why?" she tried to ask. "It hurts!" Part of her was a bit scared that there was something more wrong than she knew because she'd always had a high pain tolerance…at least according to Anna and the castle physician; and her burns were near the threshold of what she could deal with without crying. Only sheer willpower prevented her tears from falling. If she had been by herself, Elsa knew she would probably allow herself to cry. _It's just a chess game, Elsa. A real life chess game. Queens don't cry. Not when their enemies want to see them do so._

"Now you can't freeze me to death again," Anna said in a nasty tone that Elsa knew was _not_ her sister's usual voice she used even when she genuinely was angry. "Why do you even exist? Someone else could use ice powers far better than you can."

Elsa kept her gaze on the ground, trying her best not to listen; but every one of villainized-Anna's words was like a dagger to her sensitive heart. _Please stop, Anna…it hurts…it hurts so much…far worse than those awful burns…I want to go home…_

"Mom and Dad should have left you in the castle dungeon and made me heir apparent instead of a little defective thing like you." Anna suddenly stumbled backwards as the tiny, tiny portion of her mind that hadn't been affected screamed at her to apologize and that Elsa was just an abused young girl. _Apologize. Apologize. Look at her! She's my sister! She isn't even trying to fight!_

 _Because she knows it's true,_ the affected part informed her gleefully. _Elsa literally froze me to death._

Anna marched away without another word.

Elsa didn't visibly react as she heard footsteps fade off. Then she finally let silent tears trickle down her cheeks as snowflakes slowly floated down around her. _I…I want Mama. I just want someone to hold me and fix me…_

* * *

BACK IN ARENDELLE…

"Here's your breakfast, Hans," Kiara announced as she stepped into her brother's cell in the castle dungeon. She frowned, eyeing the film of ice on the floor. "You had something to do with Elsa's disappearance, didn't you?" she asked in horror.

The small blue crystal stone Jade had left him glinted in Hans's pocket, and he flinched as Kiara grabbed it. "Kiara, I swear it's not what you think! I didn't kidnap Elsa or that pesky sister of hers! How could I do that in here?!"

"Maybe you're the one who stole the power crystals!" Kiara bit her lip as she shoved her brother against the wall and stuck her hand in his pocket to see if he had any more crystals. "Where are the rest of the crystals?!" she demanded.

"Chill out, Kiara. Literally," Hans informed her. "I swear that is the only one I have. Someone gave it to me through the window."

"I don't believe you! You're trying to hurt Snow Queen Elsa again! Do you even realize everything she's been dealing with recently?! She's still trying to recover from being deathly ill, you numskull, although she's pretty much better now…" Kiara's voice trailed off as she clutched the ice power crystal in her fist. "You're going to pay, Hans. This time you're going to pay. You don't hurt my real friend and not pay." She turned her back and ran off, threatening that she wouldn't bring him any more food. _I gotta tell Elsa's parents. Now._

The second Kiara was upstairs, she spotted Agdar and ran over to him, holding out the power crystal. "Mr. Grieg, my brother had this in his cell with him this morning," she announced. Kiara demonstrated the crystal's power by forming a snowflake in her hand like Elsa had done often in front of her. (Kiara also noted that the snowflake did not look as intricate or pretty as her friend's, and that it was not the same pattern, either.) "I think we know just how whoever's got Snow Queen Elsa and Princess Anna is keeping 'em. This belongs to the trolls, and I'm guessing there's a whole bunch of crystals like this, but not all ice ones," she added in a rush.

Agdar backed away but nodded. "Thank you, Princess Kiara. Now we have a clue. I also think I need to talk to the trolls…" He paused and looked Kiara right in the eyes. "Keep the crystal for now, Kiara. If someone starts bothering you, you have express permission to freeze them solid."

* * *

"Idun, you and Kai stay here and take care of the castle," Agdar ordered a few minutes later. "The Southern Isles princess has an ice power crystal. She can help fight if need be. Gerda, I need you to come with me. If this situation is as bad as I think it is, Elsa is going to need someone she actually trusts. I know she trusts you." Agdar sighed when he noticed little Anikka sitting in a shadowy corner, her eyes wide in fright. "And Idun, please take care of Elsa's little charge."

Anikka silently got up and skittered out of the room unnoticed. Somebody was going to hurt Elsa. Maybe she could help. She grabbed a nice soft blanket from a chair and headed for the front entrance to the castle and slipped outdoors. "I…find…Elsa," she whispered to herself. _'I' or 'Anikka'? I. I. It's I. That how Elsa talks._ Elsa never corrected her on grammar when she spoke, but Elsa did smile proudly if Anikka said something correctly, which Anikka had figured out.

Outside, Anikka took a wrong turn and found herself trying to climb on big rocks by the fjord. She spotted a hooded figure a short ways away and hid under her blanket. Anikka somehow knew that person was not supposed to be out there. Maybe he or she wouldn't see her under the blanket. Anikka didn't move when she heard a female voice above her.

"Are you Queen Elsa's little orphan child? I bet you're looking for her. I know where she is."

Anikka's mind was screaming at her not to reveal herself, but obviously the someone already knew she was there. And the someone knew where Elsa was! Anikka hesitantly peeked up to see a girl around Elsa's age, maybe slightly older. Anikka pointed to herself and then held out her hand like Elsa did when she made her signature snowflake. _I looking for Elsa._

"You want Elsa? Follow me. I know where she is," Jade said. She was so pleased to see Anikka; this made everything much easier. Jade didn't have to sneak into the castle to take Anikka with her.

The second Anikka stood up, Jade shot her with the same tranquilizer that had knocked Elsa out. Anikka immediately slumped to the ground clutching her blanket, and Jade picked her up before heading straight back to her cave.

* * *

Elsa knelt awkwardly on the ground, her wrists bound tightly to the metal bars keeping her contained inside the tiny cage-room. She had tried simply picking the very simple locking mechanism open-if her hands hadn't been injured, she could have gotten it open within seconds-but her efforts had almost instantly been stopped. And Jade had simply bound her wrists to the bars, saying she couldn't risk Elsa getting loose. Elsa's pained but angry blue eyes blinked in shock when she saw just who Jade had brought into the cave. _Anikka! She has Anikka! Why?! Anikka is only five! She's FIVE!_

Jade dropped the little girl on the ground right outside where Elsa was locked in and simply tied one of Anikka's ankles to a metal bar with a length of rope so she wouldn't run off. Anikka blinked her eyes slowly; and then abruptly jumped to her feet when she saw Elsa. Anikka's face lit up happily. "Elsa! I find Elsa!" she said excitedly. Then she saw Elsa's burns and the cloth gagging her and the way Elsa just slumped in defeat on her knees on the ground, her blue eyes reflecting all the pain inside her. "Elsa?" Anikka asked in a small voice. _Elsa's hurt. Somebody hurt her. On purpose._

Elsa just shook her head as tears leaked from her closed eyes and dripped onto her lap. She opened her eyes when she felt a small, gentle hand touching her face and trying to brush her tears away. _I'm sorry, Anikka. I can't help you or me. I can hardly move, for goodness sakes…I want to go home…_

Anikka wished she could free Elsa right that second and just hug her, like Elsa usually did for her. Elsa didn't belong in that horrid cage thing. She couldn't move and she was physically hurt. "Elsa daddy looking for her," Anikka whispered, hoping that idea would perk Elsa up some. "I know. I be quiet," she added a second later.

Elsa smiled a bit despite the gag. _You're talking better, Anikka! Good job._ A sudden thought struck her. The main reason she had no chance of escape wasn't her injured hands. It was because she couldn't stand up. If Anikka could get the door to the cage-room open and put Elsa's brace back on her leg, maybe the two of them could escape and come back for Anna with a group of guards from the castle. That could work. Elsa whimpered in pain when Anikka tried to hold her hand, but she couldn't move her hands away. Luckily, Anikka immediately realized she was hurting the older girl and settled for simply sticking her hand through the bars and holding Elsa's arm tightly. _Thank you, Anikka. I have one friend here now…that's selfish, but it's also comforting._

Elsa flinched when she saw Anna walking towards her and Anikka.

"What's your pretend daughter doing here?" Anna asked. "Did you think a five-year-old would help you or something? You're trapped, Elsa. Just like before, thank goodness."

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut. This was not Anna. Not Anna, not Anna, not Anna. Elsa wished she could just say something to defend herself and Anikka, but she couldn't. _Don't cry, Elsa. Villainized Anna would probably enjoy that, since she's the exact opposite of her usual self._ She just sat still and refused to react.

"Leave them alone, Anna," Jade said. "That's my job. It's late again…go to sleep or something." _I'll talk to Elsa tomorrow._

* * *

Two hours later, Elsa and Anikka were both still wide awake; Elsa because of her uncomfortable position with her wrists bound to the bars and Anikka because she was terrified and wanted to try to help Elsa somehow. All the others had gone to sleep. The first thing Anikka did was pull Elsa's head toward her and try her best to untie the cloth preventing Elsa from talking. "All com-pi-cated," she whispered.

Elsa gave the little girl a lopsided smile once the thing was off her. "Thank you, Anikka," she whispered back. Elsa shook her head sadly when Anikka pointed at her burned hands. "No, you can't fix that. I need a doctor for that. We have to…to think outside the box. Literally…" _What can an injured girl and a little kid do to get out of here? There has to be something…_

Anikka's face fell. "Elsa hurt bad. I want t' help." She started trying to free Elsa's bound wrists, but her little fingers weren't precise enough to do so. "Can't do it…"

 _If Anikka can't free me, maybe she can at least free herself. At least Anikka would be safe. I'm afraid Jade might hurt her too._ Elsa looked Anikka straight in the eyes. "Anikka, just untie that rope keeping you here if you can and sneak out of here. At the very least, you'll be safe, and maybe you could bring someone back to help me. And Anikka, Jade did something to Anna. Anna does love us; she's basically the opposite of what she should be right now." Elsa dearly wished she could just give the little girl a hug, but she couldn't, so she settled for adding, "I'm sorry I can't give you a hug…"

Anikka just pressed herself as tightly against the bars as she could. "I not know how get back," she whispered. "I stay. Elsa need help."

Elsa didn't protest further, but she couldn't help the tears trickling down her cheeks. _Anikka wants to help me? It's my fault she's trapped in here…_ She felt her exhausted eyes flickering closed, and she tried unsuccessfully to suppress a yawn. Elsa felt utterly exhausted from lack of sleep, and her arms and shoulders ached now from being unable to move them. Still, Elsa slowly fell asleep.

* * *

Anikka wished she could fix the older girl's hands. They looked awfully painful to her, and she knew Elsa could not defend herself with her magic without the use of her hands. Anikka jumped when she heard upset sounds a few minutes later. "Elsa…?" she whispered as loud as she dared.

"An…Anna…please! I can't…my leg…crippled, I know…please…" Elsa's scared and hurt voice made Anikka want to cry. Elsa was the strong one, the one that took care of her. Now Elsa was slumped on the other side of those bars, her whole body shaking all over. Anikka could see Elsa's weak leg lying uselessly on the ground, her pale foot flopped to one side. She knew Elsa could not stand up like that; she needed that brace thing Anikka had seen Elsa wearing before. Maybe the mean people had taken it away from Elsa. That had to be it. Anikka tried to pull Elsa back to the position she'd been kneeling in before falling asleep. At least that way Elsa wasn't putting all her weight on her arms.

Elsa blinked teary blue eyes at Anikka when her mind finally registered what was going on. "I'm sorry…I had a bad dream," she whispered. _A really, really awful dream…_ "Thank you for waking me up…" Elsa suddenly perked up when she spotted a faint grayish glowing thing a few feet from Anikka. "Anikka, see if you can reach that glowing rock," she whispered. "Don't touch it before making sure it isn't hot first, though."

Anikka hopped up and easily reached the rock and brought it back to Elsa. "Crystal," Anikka said. "Elsa, look!" she whispered excitedly.

"Magic," Elsa mouthed inaudibly. She watched in fascination as Anikka clutched the crystal in one hand and simply manipulated the metal bars with the other enough to both free Elsa's bound wrists and let Anikka crawl inside next to her. _Jade has magical power crystals! I wonder what other magical abilities' crystals she has…_ Somehow that prospect didn't scare Elsa as much as it might have otherwise; she was just happy to have a clue as to what was going on.

"Elsa try!" Anikka offered, giving the small dark gray glowing object to Elsa, forgetting about the burns on Elsa's hands.

Elsa made no sound, but she couldn't hold the crystal, and it clattered to the floor loudly. "Oh, no," Elsa muttered as she heard and saw a figure grumpily heading toward them. "Anikka, get behind me. I'm not letting you be hurt if I can help it," she ordered.

"You aren't much of a threat at the moment. How sweet, Queen Elsa trying to protect a little orphan girl even though she's injured and powerless," Jade said sleepily and grumpily. "I guess you two found one of my crystals. I wonder what your people and allies will think of you politically when they discover you've practically adopted a commoner orphan."

"I wonder what my people and allies will think of _you_ when they discover what you've done," Elsa shot back, surprised at herself for even saying such a thing. Elsa suddenly realized that while she could not consciously control her ice and direct it right now, she could let her emotions subconsciously control her powers. _I used to subconsciously make ice or snow when I lost control all the time. If I can just direct that and use it on purpose somehow…it can't hurt…_ Right now Elsa was angry at the threat to little Anikka, so she said nothing and closed her eyes, hoping her anger would reveal itself with threatening ice instead. _Please let this work…_ Elsa felt slightly pleased when Jade stepped backwards as sharp icicles suddenly jutted toward her, cracking another metal bar to the cage-room. It appeared that the injured ice mage was out of control, but this time Elsa knew what she was doing. At least partly. She didn't know whether it would work or not, but she _was_ consciously channeling her emotions into her powers rather than using words. "I am not powerless even if you think I am," Elsa announced confidently; then flinched back when the ice receded. _So I can't verbally express my feelings-they have to stay expressed purely in ice…_

Now the threatening icicles reformed into an abstract shape that vaguely resembled question marks, expressing Elsa's curiosity at this newfound facet of her icy powers. Anikka stood behind Elsa smiling. She was so happy to see Elsa using her powers again, and not looking so defeated and sad.

Jade skirted the ice and marched right up to Elsa, who suddenly just felt terrified, all bravado having disappeared. "How are you doing that, Snow Queen?" Jade demanded. "Your sister told me you control your magic with your hands," she added, lightly tapping one of Elsa's burns.

Elsa refused to verbally address that, but her blue eyes welled with tears as she held her injured hands close against her chest, and snowflakes floated to the ground around her. _Anna told Jade that? I mean, Jade probably knew that already, but…_ Elsa's hands hurt ten times over at that thought, knowing that her little sister was one of the reasons she'd been burned. _What did you do to Anna, Jade? I can't help her if I don't know what happened…_

Anikka jumped protectively in front of the older girl when she saw Jade making Elsa's poor blistered hands hurt worse. Anikka may have been five, but she knew she did _not_ want to let that Jade girl hurt Elsa anymore. "Jade not hurt Elsa!" she shouted. Anikka wished she still had that crystal that had let her manipulate the metal.

Before Elsa could really register what was happening and attempt to direct her ice again, Jade had picked up the metal power crystal and reconstructed the bars, leaving Elsa barely enough room to lie down and making sure Anikka was on the other side of the bars. "I guess you cause too much trouble together," Jade said nonchalantly, and grabbed a screaming Anikka by the arm before putting her atop a small circular platform a good six to eight feet above the cave's floor. "Now, Queen Elsa, you _will_ help me whether you want to or not. I need something from you."

Elsa barely noticed Jade informing her she was going to participate in an experiment just to prove that she would be forced to help. _Anikka, please don't fall. How can I help her from here?! I can't even get out of here._ Elsa winced when Jade suddenly dragged her out of the cage-room, painfully scraping her knees in the process since she couldn't stand up. _Wait, I'm out of there! If I can just get Anikka down and find a way out…I hate that cage thing…_ Turning her head to look back at the tiny enclosure where she'd been trapped, Elsa channeled hatred toward that cage and instantly thick ice covered it. Then she half-smirked. Jade could not put her back in there now. _One tiny step down; only a zillion more to go._

Jade dropped Elsa a few feet from the platform where Anikka was. Elsa couldn't catch herself with her hands, and she nearly fell on her face, cutting her forehead on the rocky ground. She curled up in a ball and scrunched her eyes shut, wishing everything would just _stop_. Elsa wanted to get Anikka down and then get out of there; that was all she wanted.

"Now stand up or Anikka falls," Jade said flatly.

"You know I can't do that," Elsa replied darkly. "You _must_ know that, or you would not have had Anna take my brace away." She sat up, her blue eyes blazing with anger. "Jade, you can hurt me. I don't care. But you will _not_ hurt a five-year-old girl just to threaten me. Don't get me enraged. I will let myself go 'out of control', so to speak, and I can't guarantee you won't be a popsicle afterward. Let's just say my emotions aren't the most reliable in the world."

"So where's your ice now?" Jade scoffed. "You seem pretty angry to me." The metal platform Anikka was trapped on tilted to one side, dumping her to the ground. "Now let's see you enact your so-called wonderful plan."

Elsa immediately grew terrified when she saw Anikka's little body falling to the rocky floor. _I can't try to catch her! I'll hit her like I did to Anna when we were little!_ Snow formed beneath Anikka anyway, and Elsa just watched with wide eyes as Anikka fell. Elsa moved as fast as she could to the little girl, tearing her dark blue dress and skinning her knees further in the process. "Anikka?" she whispered. "Anikka…Anikka! Please say something…" Elsa struggled to take Anikka in her arms, trying not to put the least bit of pressure on her hands. "Anikka?" She gave the motionless little girl a gentle kiss on her forehead like her own mother had done for her not so long ago.

Anikka blinked up at her and just hid her face in Elsa's shoulder. "Elsa holding me," she said. "I sorry not help…"

* * *

"Grand Pabbie, what are you talking about, power crystals?" Agdar asked. "There is a whole slew of these things?"

"Mr. Grieg, someone is using them for ill purposes. Your daughter Elsa is badly hurt, struggling to rescue herself and two others. I can sense she has discovered something that may help her, but she is going to need assistance. Assistance of knowledge. Queen Elsa doesn't know the one thing that could free herself and her sister and daughter."

Agdar just stared at Pabbie. "Grand Pabbie, I will thank you to cease implying my unmarried daughter has a child. Elsa is too young for that anyway."

Grand Pabbie gave a small chuckle. "Queen Elsa has a little orphan girl she is caring for, does she not?" he asked.

Agdar sighed.

* * *

BACK IN ARENDELLE…

Hans had refused Jade's offer, but now he was unsure if he had made the right choice. Kiara thought he had betrayed the Arendellian royal family anyway; he may as well have gone with Jade. At least he would have been free from the castle dungeon. And yet…someone was out there hurting Elsa. Yes, he had done that himself multiple times, but…it was wrong. Wasn't it? What if he told Kiara what he knew about the girl with the crystals? He decided he would tell Kiara when she brought his dinner, and if she didn't believe him; he was going to attempt escaping. The bars on the window were broken from Jade's break-in; if he could pick the lock on the shackle on his ankle, maybe he could get out.

Except that a quick look proved that it was impossible to pick that lock. _All right, if Jade comes back, I'll go with her, then._

"Here's your dinner, Hans," Kiara spat a few minutes later.

"Kiara, wait," Hans called when Kiara just turned her back without another word to leave. "This girl with brownish black hair broke in here and gave me that crystal and she said she was going to make Anna hate Elsa by shooting Anna in the heart with fire. And-"

"Oh, shut up, you liar! That's the worst nonsense I've ever heard! At least come up with a good story," Kiara scoffed. "Why should I ever believe you anyway? You had this in your possession," she added, holding up the ice power crystal. "Save your story for an idiot to believe." Then she slammed the door and left.

* * *

"Why are you doing this?!" Elsa asked desperately as she kept holding Anikka as tightly as she could. "You said Arendelle's royals ruined your family…can't I just help you somehow? Give you funds to construct a new home or something? I could help you if you'd let me!"

Jade bent down to Elsa's eye level and just glared at her. "Yes, you can help me. I want your powers." _Then I can go back to Arendelle and take Elsa's place. And I won't just make ice skating rinks in the courtyard. I could take over whole other countries and make Arendelle an empire, not the quiet little kingdom it's always been…I could make revenge for losing my parents._

Elsa just blinked in confusion. "Jade, that's impossible. They're…stuck inside me. I couldn't give my powers to you even if I wanted to." _Which I don't, but…still! That's impossible!_

"Your father fired my parents because of a stupid accident two little girls made! An ACCIDENT! They grew ill and starved to death because they couldn't get a job and were giving the bit of food we did have to Espen and me!" Jade shouted. "Your father was an idiot, Elsa. He had the world's best weapon right at his fingertips and just locked it and its owner away for over a decade. It's sickening!" Jade paused for a moment before adding, "Arendelle could be an empire, Elsa. He _could_ have taught you battle tactics or something-you're ordinarily an entire military force on your own. I'd go so far as to say I bet there is a way for you to escape right this second if you wanted to, even with those burns and your leg and everything. Only _no one_ knows what that way is, not you, not me, _no one!_ "

"My father did the best he could," Elsa said softly. "He didn't know what to do with me, Jade. Locking me away was wrong, I agree, but turning someone like me into a weapon of conquest is wrong too. It's ten times worse. Can you imagine what I'd be like now if I had grown up being taught I was a military force? You want a tyrannical dictator with ice powers ruling Arendelle?" _Because I know that's what would happen…_ "And Jade, I know it's meaningless now because I can't change that, but I'm very, very sorry about your paren-"

Jade hit Elsa hard across the face, cutting off her sentence. "Don't you talk about my parents and guilt trip me for my ideas," she spat.

Elsa could feel a bruise forming under her eye on her cheek, but she refused to react. She felt Anikka wiggling in her arms and let the little girl stand up. "Jade, you can torture me 'til I'm dead and you still won't have my powers," she said quietly. "They're just part of me, like having blue eyes and platinum hair. You will never be able to take part of what makes me special away from me. My powers are not yours and they never will be."

"I need them," Jade insisted.

* * *

Anikka had spotted Elsa's brace on a shelf across the cave, along with a whole pile of crystals. If she could just get Elsa's brace back to her and some crystal for a power that Elsa didn't need her hands for, she was sure Elsa could get the two of them out of here. She reached for a purple crystal and smiled a bit as Elsa's brace suddenly flew across the room right to Elsa. Anikka clutched the purple crystal in her fist and ran back to the older girl.

"What did you just do, Elsa?" Jade demanded.

Elsa felt Anikka stick something in her torn dress's pocket and just nodded ever so slightly when Anikka whispered, "Move with mind," in her ear. "I think," Elsa said, thinking hard as a table tumbled toward Jade, knocking her away from Elsa, "that I'm experimenting." Then she bit her lip and gave Anikka a frantic nod toward the brace, silently asking her to please put it back on her leg while Elsa herself concentrated on trying to keep Jade away from the two of them.

Jade scrambled to her feet, but Elsa knew what she was doing now-telekinesis-and the table simply followed her, blocking her path back to Elsa.

Anikka grabbed Elsa's arm and helped her to her feet, smiling as she saw the older girl standing by herself for the first time since the two of them had been trapped here. "Elsa beat you good!" she exclaimed at Jade.

Elsa herself smiled at hearing little Anikka speak to someone besides herself. And then she heard an angry yell and felt pain shooting through her shoulder an instant later.

 **A/N: So yeah, Elsa has a rather unreliable way to use her ice powers without being able to use her hands. But it's better than nothing, anyways.:) And she's good at**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing!:)**

 **Guest-I doubt that would have helped any, but yes, she had full reason to say that.:/**

 **bananas-rule-2015-Thank you!:) I've always spelled it 'numskull', so I looked it up in the dictionary, and I think both spellings are correct.:P (At least according to my computer's dictionary, anyways...:P)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thanks for the compliment, but it's not like using some type of crystals as plot point(s) is/are that original anyway.:P There are at the very least fire crystals in canon anyways!:) (Remember the scene with the trolls where one says "I earned my fire crystal!"?:))**

 **Elsa Tomago-In my mind, Jade knows that physically hurting Elsa is not going to make her do anything, so she caused Anna to act horrible like that.:/ Also Jade doesn't want Elsa dead. Elsa will be okay...eventually.:) I promised a happy ending, and therefore both sisters shall have a happy ending.:)**

 **raven678-Then you will probably like this chapter.:) Stupid Hans isn't thinking very clearly, but the tiny bit of conscience he does have knows helping Jade is wrong. I wanted Elsa to have a friend with her-I think she needs it. Also seeing Elsa stressed under pressure is helping Anikka feel better herself since she gets to help Elsa.**

 **Dragonheart35-Anikka is helpful simply by being there so Elsa isn't entirely alone. If Elsa uses the ice crystal, it will "unlock" more abilities that she technically already has but didn't know she could do. I guess you could say it makes her instantly master her innate abilities she already has. (In my mind, there are-as Jade pointed out in the last chapter-facets of Elsa's magic that she simply hasn't discovered nor knows how to use. Elsa tends to stick with what she already knows and only experiments when she absolutely has to, like when she discovered she could make impenetrable ice bubbles back in 'The Coming Storm'.) The ice crystal wouldn't strengthen her magic, but it WOULD let her do things she didn't know she could do. Yes, in my mind, Elsa could most certainly "recharge" the ice crystal.:) I followed your story, BTW.:)**

 **DodgersGirl-I like the idea of telekinesis, so...yeah. Elsa got to use it. Besides, Elsa needed something she could do without using her hands, and telekinesis certainly fits that criteria.:) I PMed you back, too.:)**

 **On to the story!:)**

"Mr. Grieg, there are footprints there in that pile of snow," Gerda said, pointing at the original snow pile Elsa had tumbled off her horse into when Jade had first captured her.

Agdar glanced where Gerda was pointing and squinted at the concealed entrance to the cave. "I believe we may have found something," he announced. "Don't forget, whoever sees Elsa first, tell her what she needs to do. She's the only one who can help Anna."

The guards nodded and headed for the concealed entrance, with Agdar and Gerda following. "Gerda, please stay out here. I am going to need you to take care of Elsa…whatever happens, make sure Elsa is taken care of at all costs. All I know is she is badly hurt somehow," Agdar said quietly.

* * *

Inside the cave, Elsa just stared in terror at Anna and then the arrow in her shoulder and back at Anna. "Anna?" she whispered. "Why did you…" She felt a single tear trickle down her cheek as she instinctively yanked at the arrow, not knowing what to do. … _should have made me heir apparent instead of a little defective thing like you,_ Elsa remembered Anna telling her. Elsa slumped to the ground as Anikka grabbed the telekinetic crystal and tried her best to move the table like Elsa had been doing.

Jade grabbed the fire crystal and sent smoke billowing through the cave as she headed toward the entrance. Elsa shouted for Anikka to run and leave her, but Anikka just knelt by her side and curled up next to her. "I not leave Elsa alone," she informed the older girl.

Elsa was shaking all over and she knew her shoulder was still bleeding and she couldn't breathe in here. The smoke was doubly worse to her because it was derived from the opposite of her own powers. _I'm going to die in here and I didn't fix anything._

 _'Mom and Dad should have left you in the castle dungeon.' 'Why do you even exist?' '…little defective thing like you…'_ Elsa's distraught thoughts kept returning to the awful things villainized-Anna had told her.

"Elsa not be sad. I Elsa's friend," Anikka said, scrunching her eyes shut and burying her face in Elsa's dress in an attempt to avoid the smoke.

Elsa didn't respond, but Anikka's simple words made Elsa's mind inform her of something logically hopeful. _I'm not going to die in here not having fixed anything. That can't happen! Pabbie basically said a bunch of awful things would happen, but I'd be happy eventually. Something good is going to happen…I hope soon…_

"Elsa, you need to freeze Anna's heart!" Elsa heard her father's voice yell out. "I know you're hurt, but you have to do it! It's the only way! It will reverse what's wrong with her!"

Elsa couldn't see very far, but she thought she spotted her sister's figure standing over her. "Anna?" she whispered, then coughed hard. _I can't freeze her heart again! And…and how am I going to do that anyway?!_ Elsa felt a pair of strong arms scoop her and Anikka up and saw another someone grab a fighting Anna. _Rescued? Papa came for me?_ she thought confusedly. She whimpered in pain at the pressure on her wounded shoulder. Elsa's body hurt almost all over, and she felt utterly confused as to what was going on. _…should have left you in the castle dungeon…little defective thing…_

 _Stop, leave me be!_

"Elsa, freeze your sister's heart," Agdar repeated. "It'll neutralize everything. She's been poisoned with hate by fire magic in her heart. You freezing her heart will both fix that and automatically thaw afterward since it's an 'act of true love' in of itself." _Goodness knows Elsa has enough love in her heart already…_ Agdar could already see Elsa was hurt; there were tear tracks all over her face and she had a badly bruised cheek and her forehead was still bleeding. "We're going to get you fixed up too," he said gently. _What did someone do to her? Where else is she hurt?_

Elsa was shaking as she held out her injured hand and tried to use her powers. "Papa, I…I can't," she whispered. "My hand is burned…" _Elsa, you have to. It's okay if it hurts; it's for Anna. You can do it. Just once and then you can pass out or cry or whatever else._

 _Your father doesn't want you, Elsa. He just wants his normal daughter back, not you. You're nothing. Why do you exist?_

 _I can still heal Anna even if no one wants me…I still love my baby sister…_

Agdar nearly screamed when Elsa went completely limp after a streak of blue magic flew toward Anna and hit her in the chest. "Don't you die on me, Elsa. You're staying alive a long while yet," he said in her ear as he clutched the unconscious girl tightly. _She's going to be fine. She has to be._

* * *

Now outside the cave, Agdar put Anikka down and then gently laid Elsa down in the snow. He balled his own hands into fists when he saw Elsa's hands. "How did that happen?!" he demanded.

Anna couldn't help crying as she dropped to her knees next to Elsa. Now she realized just what had been going on recently. The misleading. Fighting the fire in her heart making her hate Elsa. Not defending Elsa when Jade and Rolf had burned her hands. The awful hate that had led her to literally shoot an arrow at Elsa. And worst of all, those nasty words she had said to the same girl that had sacrificed her own happiness for all those years trying to keep everyone around her safe. _I asked Elsa why did she exist! She's going to be hurting really bad for ages and it's all my fault…_ Now Elsa lay helpless in the snow struggling to breathe, bleeding badly from the wound in her shoulder. Even unconscious, Elsa's expression was pained and hurt. "Elsa, I…" _What is Elsa going to feel like when she wakes up? She's going to be terrified of me, and rightly so…_ Anna watched silently as Gerda tore Elsa's dress sleeve to make a makeshift bandage for her shoulder. "Is she gonna be all right?" she whispered, gently stroking her sister's tangled platinum hair.

"That smoke did a number on her, Miss Anna," Gerda said softly. "We need to get her back home quickly. She's got some nasty burns, too, and that shoulder wound…" Gerda gently scooped Elsa up and cradled her in her arms. "Mr. Grieg, I can't take care of her. She needs a doctor. Now," she said firmly.

"Well, there are no doctors here," Agdar said peevishly. "We have to get her home immediately." He stood up and glared at the cave's entrance. "I daresay the perpetrators of this died in the fire, but four of you stay here and guard the entrance until the smoke dissipates," Agdar told the guards. "After that, enter the cave and search it to be sure that is the case. Thank you." Then he turned to Gerda. "Gerda, you ride in the one sled with the queen and the princess and the child." Agdar's expression softened ever so slightly as Gerda picked Elsa up. "Please be gentle with her," he said quietly; then abruptly switched back to his stern, authoritative self. "We will head back to the castle immediately."

* * *

Anna just sat next to Gerda quietly, wishing with all her heart she could take her sister's pain away. Elsa kept making quiet whimpering sounds every so often, and she was trembling, although from fear or physical pain Anna couldn't tell. "Gerda, Elsa isn't gonna…die, is she?" Anna whispered.

"Not if we can get her taken care of quickly enough," Gerda replied honestly. "Miss Anna, what on earth happened to you two in that cave?"

"Jade poison Anna. Hurt Elsa," Anikka said flatly.

"Someone named Jade hurt Elsa and forced you to do so too?" Gerda asked. When Anna simply nodded, Gerda asked a different question. "Do you happen to know why this person did this?"

"She wanted Elsa's powers," Anna muttered. "Gerda, please stop asking stuff. I don't wanna talk about it; I wanna fix Elsa now…" She bit her lip and looked away as Elsa suddenly opened her terrified and hurt blue eyes and tried to reach for her hand. _You don't want to do that, Elsa. I hurt you really bad. At the very least indirectly._ "Just stop it, Elsa. You can't hold my hand when you're all hurt like that," Anna said firmly. _She looks…broken. Outside and inside. What have I done to her? My sweet big sister can't be broken-she's Elsa. She'll be all right. Eventually. Gerda's just going to have to stay close to her since I know Elsa still trusts her._

Elsa didn't try to speak, but tears streamed down her cheeks as she assumed Anna just didn't want anything to do with her. _Why would she? You're just a pitiful injured mess, Elsa. You can't hold Anna's hand anyway with those burns…you_ are _a little defective thing…_ She realized Gerda was holding her securely in her arms and immediately felt safer, although she wished she were just at home. Elsa began feeling dizzy, and her eyes flickered shut once again.

* * *

"Agdar, what _happened_ to her?!" Idun asked as she watched Agdar lay Elsa down on a bed in the castle infirmary. "Who did this to Elsa?" she demanded.

"Idun, cease the questions. Now," Agdar ordered. "We will discuss this later. Right now we need to get Elsa cared for before she dies from shock or blood loss or something." He turned away from his wife and called out, "Sir Raske, you are wanted immediately! My daughter needs medical attention!" Agdar turned back to his wife and pointed to the door. "Get out and go eat dinner. I shall summon you when Elsa is appropriately cared for."

Idun shook her head and sighed as she left. She was glad her husband was obviously caring for Elsa now, but she wished he wouldn't be so…authoritative about it. She wanted to make sure Elsa was taken care of too. "Anna, your father doesn't want anyone else in there right now," she said once they were outside the infirmary. "We'll come back to see Elsa later."

Anna just turned away from her mother and ran upstairs. All she could think of was the way her sweet big sister had looked lying injured in the snow. Poor Elsa was probably going to be terrified of her when she was conscious and clear-headed again. _I literally shot her. What if I'd hit her somewhere worse than her shoulder? Why couldn't I fight the fire magic? I don't want to see Elsa all beat up like that again. It's my fault she's hurt…and how much is Elsa hurt on the inside? I know Elsa considered me to be one person she could always trust, someone that would love her and tell her the truth; and I took that away from her…_

Idun decided it was best to let Anna be by herself at the moment. She would go talk to her later. "Anikka, let's go find you some dinner," she said to the little girl standing next to her.

"Elsa tol' Anikka leave her there and escape," Anikka said in a flat voice as she plopped down right there on the floor and pulled her knees to her chest. "Elsa be all right?" she asked, tears shining in her brown eyes. Anikka held out one hand as she simply added, "Bad burns."

"You…want to know whether those burns on Elsa's hands will heal?" Idun asked hesitantly. _I hope so, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's left with scars from it…_

Anikka nodded and held out her arms, hoping Elsa's mommy would pick her up. She buried her face in Idun's shoulder the second she picked her up.

* * *

A while later, Elsa slowly blinked her eyes open as she heard quiet voices somewhere near her. _Where am I? The last thing I remember was Papa holding me…why was he holding me?_

"…injuries serious but not life-threatening..." "…burns going to scar?" "…too soon to tell…" "…sure that contraption is safe…seems risky…" "…help her breathe easier…been working on it since…illness before Christmas…" "…waking up…I should leave…Gerda, stay with her…" Elsa suddenly realized there was something on her face, and she immediately grew alarmed as she tried to move her hand to get whatever it was off her. Elsa saw her hand had been bandaged and splinted in place, and then she remembered what had happened. "Off," she tried to say, but her voice seemed muffled. "Off!" she repeated more desperately as scared tears began trickling down her cheeks.

"No, no, Miss Elsa," Gerda said gently, pushing her arm down. "You're safe now. We're trying to give you extra oxygen to help you breathe better. I can hear you talk just fine. You sound a bit muffled, but I can understand you. Please just rest and don't try to talk anymore."

Elsa still felt confused. "Wh-where am I?" she asked. Elsa's blue eyes shone with tears as she remembered something else. "Anna sh-shot m-me…" Elsa stuttered out. _I want to go home. I don't like it here, I don't think…wait, this_ is _home. I'm in the castle infirmary._ She turned her head slowly to look at her shoulder and then just tried to reach for Gerda's hand, forgetting about her burns for a moment.

Gerda carefully laid Elsa's immobilized hand back on the bed. "Miss Elsa, just lay still. We're in the castle infirmary, that's all. Safe at home."

"What…do…to me?" Elsa asked. She closed her eyes again as she tried to keep from crying. "Anna shot m-me," she repeated, her pained voice sounding awfully scared besides. _But she didn't mean to…something made her act like that…_ Tiny snowflakes floated down around Elsa as her battered body shook all over. She felt terrified and helpless, even though she knew Gerda was right next to her; and she was still in pain, although it was less than before. "S-someone…hold me?" she asked hopefully. "Can I…s-sit up, maybe?"

Gerda shook her head as she gently smoothed Elsa's hair back away from her face. "Miss Elsa, you have to just lay still for awhile. I might hurt you further if I try to hold you," she said softly.

Elsa's gaze grew panicky when she tried to move her left arm and found she couldn't. "Gerda…Gerda…I..I can't move…it's stuck! Fix it…please…" _Where's Anna? Is she better now? I want my baby sister…Anna shot me…_

"No, no, Miss Elsa, it's all right," Gerda said quickly. "Please try to calm down. Sir Raske had to give you stitches in your shoulder to stop the bleeding before he bandaged it, and he put that arm in a special sling to keep you from moving it and messing up the stitches. There's just a soft strap around your back, Miss Elsa. You're safe. No one's trying to hurt you again. Try to sleep. You need to rest."

Elsa accepted this explanation and nodded slightly as her blue eyes fluttered closed. "Thank…'ou…" _Where is Anna…? I still want her safe…_

 _I wish –_

* * *

Agdar walked slowly into the room where Elsa lay and gave his sleeping daughter a sad smile. He hadn't come in while Elsa was awake, afraid his presence might scare her since she was probably confused and the emotion a confused Elsa would associate with him was probably fear from before when she was younger. "Gerda, how is she doing?" Agdar asked quietly.

"She was really scared and confused when she woke up, but I think she understands where she is and what's happening to her now. The fact that Anna had shot her even though she didn't know what she was doing is making Elsa awfully upset, though," Gerda replied in a whisper. "Elsa also wanted that oxygen mask off her face, but I think she mostly just wants someone to simply… _help_ her. She's hurt, Mr. Grieg."

"I can _see_ she's hurt," Agdar spat, looking at Elsa's splinted and bandaged hands. All he could think of was a much younger Elsa years before when she had begged to be allowed to take her gloves off because she wanted to just touch the natural snow outside her window. _'It's pretty snow. Not like mine,'_ he remembered little Elsa saying. _'Please, Papa? I just want to touch s-something pretty. Maybe mine can be pretty again, too…'_ And all he had done was forbid her to do any such thing and tell her that snow of hers would never be 'pretty again, too' because it wasn't natural. Now Agdar just saw something cruelly taking what made Elsa _Elsa_ away from her again. Elsa couldn't use her hands for _anything_ with those horrid burns. Agdar still didn't particularly like Elsa's innate abilities, but they _were_ part of his little girl all the same. He sank down in a chair next to her and gruffly sent Gerda out of the room before he held his daughter's immobilized hand in his and just pressed her hand to his forehead and finally broke down in tears. _Conceal…don't feel. This is Elsa, Agdar. She's just a young girl. Why didn't you take care of her? You should have found her sooner. Then maybe she wouldn't be injured like this._

Elsa stirred slightly when she felt a painful slight pressure on her right hand. "Hurts," she heard herself say. She blinked in confusion when she saw her daddy next to her. Was he really…crying? Elsa had never seen him cry in her life. "Papa…?" Elsa started trying to sit up, but Agdar quickly held her down to keep her from doing so.

"Lay still, Elsa," Agdar said firmly. "I won't have you hurting yourself any more than you already are." He paused for a moment before asking hesitantly if she was in much pain. "And do not lie and say you're perfectly fine."

"Well, my burns…don't…feel good," Elsa replied. She lifted her head so she could see her bandaged shoulder and immediately felt dizzy, so she dropped her head back to the pillows. "Anna…shot me…is Anna better now? Did I…fix her…?" she mumbled quietly as her blue eyes fluttered shut again. _I hope Anna's safe…where is she?_

Agdar gently touched Elsa's bruised cheek. "Anna is fine, Elsa. You healed her. We have to heal you now," he told her. He felt angry tears burning in his eyes when he saw Elsa struggling and failing to pull the covers over her shoulder, and wordlessly did for her what she hadn't been able to do. _She can't even use her hands. How is my daughter going to be able to do anything by herself until her burns heal?_ "It doesn't matter. We will all just help her," Agdar muttered to himself. "Elsa, you aren't going to be helpless forever. Soon you'll be back to your usual self. You _will_. I'll make sure of it."

Elsa's sad blue eyes lit up as she looked up at her father. "You're going…to take…care of me," she said happily. _Thank you, Papa._

* * *

Upstairs in Elsa's room, Anna had spotted a short note in Elsa's handwriting on the desk and instantly started sobbing, holding the note to her chest. _'Dear Anna, if you somehow arrive back home safely before I do, don't panic. I'll be back from looking for you soon. Love, Elsa.'_ "She only left to look for me, and then she found me and I just hurt her!" Anna exclaimed.

Anna easily remembered Elsa's reactions to anything mean she had told her, only now Anna could also think just how much the whole thing had hurt Elsa. _Elsa didn't even try to protest when I just took her brace away. She just cried and started trying to apologize! I let Elsa spend all that time with her poor hands all burned like that and I didn't even try to help her. And I literally shot her!…and I told her she belonged in the castle dungeon and I called her defective…Elsa used to call herself that for goodness sakes! What if she reverts back to the way she was before, picking on herself all the time? It'd be completely, entirely my fault! And I want her safe and I want to apologize and just hold her and give her a hug if she would let me. I know Elsa wouldn't hold a grudge, but she's probably really scared of me now…_ "I miss you, Elsa!" she cried into her sister's pillow. "I'm sorry and I hate Jade and I hope you execute her and I want you safe!"

Idun had come upstairs with Anikka and heard all of Anna's outburst and sat next to her on the bed. "Anna, the guards told me that Jade girl had done something to you. I don't think it's your fault Elsa was hurt," she said quietly.

Anna sat up abruptly, her pigtail braids swinging. "Mom, you don't understand! I _shot_ her! I shot Elsa with an arrow! Didn't you see her shoulder? It was bleeding all over and Elsa's hands were burned really bad and she couldn't breathe and…and…and none of that is counting all the bruises and cuts and scrapes on her. Elsa's really beat up, and it's _my fault!_ I mean, Jade did use the fire power crystal on me, but…but I should've been able to fight it or something." She paused for a moment before adding, " _Elsa_ is the one who healed me even though she was hurt really bad."

"Anna, you don't have magical powers like your sister does. I don't think you're supposed to be able to fight off such things, at least not for any length of time. I'm not sure when Elsa will be able to talk and spend time with you again, but she will." Idun hugged Anna tightly.

"Elsa's gonna be terrified of me," Anna whispered. "And I wouldn't blame her one bit. I mean, Mom, she's _Elsa_. She has so much trouble trusting people already, and I hurt her. I didn't just physically hurt her, either…I called her names. Names she used to refer to herself as. She's gonna end up thinking of herself like that all over again…and that stupid Jade wanted to take Elsa's powers, too. She's got some revenge raid thing against our family 'cause Dad fired her parents after the accident when me and Elsa were little. I think Jade's parents died of starvation or something."

Idun frowned. "I don't think it's _possible_ to take Elsa's…special abilities away from her. They're just…her. Elsa's little hands were badly burned…if that didn't take away Elsa's powers, nothing will. Fire is the opposite of ice technically…" Her voice trailed off for a moment as something popped into her head. "Anna, just what did Jade do to Elsa that she was able to get close enough to do such a thing to her?"

"She knocked Elsa out with some tranquilizer thing and did it before she woke up 'cause she didn't want Elsa to freeze her and escape," Anna said flatly. She grinned a bit a moment later. "Elsa's immune to direct magic attacks on her though, Mom! She was unconscious and Jade tried to use the fire power crystal to burn Elsa and Elsa's powers automatically protected her." Anna's expression fell as she picked up one of the dolls she'd given Elsa for her birthday all those months ago, the one that looked like her big sister. _I'm sorry I didn't protect you, Elsa. I didn't even try to defend you…_ "So Jade used hot metal instead, which Elsa's powers didn't react to," she muttered. "Mom, I…I put her in what was pretty much a c-cage. And…and Elsa didn't get mad or even try to fight; she just cried and tried to apologize! I took Elsa's brace away from her and t-told her it was too late for sorry and Elsa just stayed curled up helpless in a corner 'cause she couldn't even stand up and…and…Mom, _I want Elsa back now!_ I gotta apologize, even if it was from fire magic making me treat her like that. I have to!"

"What else did Jade do or make you do with that poor girl?" Idun demanded. "Why would Jade want you to hurt Elsa anyway?"

"'Cause it'd have a worse effect on Elsa, I think," Anna said softly, hugging her sister's doll tightly. "She wanted to hurt Elsa and take her powers, Mom. Elsa started trying to ask questions and stand up for herself verbally, and…and…and I don't want to talk about it. I just want Elsa to be not injured anymore and be happy…" _I'm sorry, Elsa. You helped me but I didn't help you…_ Anna looked hopefully at her mother. "Mom, do you think it'd be all right to at least see Elsa while she's sleeping? I want to see her, but I don't want to scare her, either…"

"I think that would be just fine," Idun told her. "I also wouldn't be surprised if she actually _wants_ to see you. Perhaps wait and see if she asks for you before going to see her while she's awake. Run down there now and see if she's sleeping, honey."

Anna smiled a tiny bit and ran out of the room.

* * *

Anna peeked in the doorway to the castle infirmary a few minutes later. There lay Elsa on the bed, her eyes closed with the oxygen mask covering her nose and mouth. "Elsa…" she whispered as she tiptoed closer, not wanting to wake her sister up. Anna scrunched her eyes shut and shook her head when she saw Elsa's hands had been completely immobilized, splinted and bandaged carefully because of those burns. _She's going to be helpless until those burns heal. Elsa won't even be able to eat by herself with her poor hands like that._

"Anna…shot…m-me…" Elsa stuttered in her sleep, tears leaking from her closed eyes and trickling down her cheeks. "I…sorry, Anna…sorry…everything…" She tried to turn on her side and curl into a ball, but Gerda was instantly holding her still so she stayed lying on her back. Elsa's blue eyes blinked open for a moment and then fluttered shut as she tried her best to stop crying and her head just drooped weakly to one side. "…defective…I know…please d-don't…get rid of…m-me…" _Why, Anna? I know I don't deserve a sister like you…I'm sorry…I…I still love you anyways, even if you don't want me around anymore…_ Elsa struggled to breathe, each breath making her whole body tremble even with the oxygen mask helping her breathe easier.

Anna backed out of the room before Elsa could spot her and ran back upstairs crying. Elsa's spirit was injured worse than her body; she was probably hurting far more inside than physically. _Oh Elsa, what have I done? I don't want to get rid of you. Ever._

Back in the infirmary, Gerda warned the injured girl not to try to sit up on her own and then took the risk of gently taking her in her arms and just holding her close. "Miss Elsa, you know Anna loves you. You healed her back to normal. She doesn't want to shoot you again," Gerda assured her. "And you are most definitely _not_ defective. You know that, Miss Elsa."

"I…know…just still hurts…it s-scared me…" Elsa managed to say. _Can Gerda even understand me? I sound funny with whatever that thing is that's supposed to help me breathe better…well, I guess Gerda will tell me if she can't._ She looked up at Gerda as she asked, "When can…I see Anna again? I'm…worried…about her." Elsa clumsily lifted her right arm so she could see her hand clearly and promptly made a face. "Look like…stupid gloves I…can't take off," she announced with certainty.

"You can see Anna as soon as you like," Gerda said with a smile. "And," she added quietly, "you are _not_ wearing gloves. There wasn't any other way to take care of your hands besides bandaging and splinting them, Miss Elsa. They'll heal. It's temporary."

"Can I…be moved…upstairs?" Elsa asked hopefully. "Please?"

Gerda nodded. "You just stay still, Miss Elsa, though. Mr. Grieg, could you help carry the extra oxygen upstairs? Miss Elsa wants to return to her own room."

Elsa was fast asleep again by the time she was settled in bed in her own room. "Gerda, I need you to stay with her to make sure she continues breathing properly," Agdar said firmly.

"Of course, Mr. Grieg," Gerda agreed. "Miss Elsa was starting to talk a bit more before she fell back asleep though, so she must feel better already as far as her breathing goes."

"Well, watch her anyway. I'm still not entirely convinced that contraption is helpful. I know it certainly won't hurt anything, but I am not certain it is actually helpful, either. So keep a close eye on Elsa, please." Agdar caught Anna by the arm as she tried to dart out of Elsa's room. "Anna, it is perfectly fine to sit with Elsa for awhile," he told her, thinking Anna might be assuming she wasn't supposed to be with Elsa.

Anna glanced back at her sister lying in bed fast asleep with the covers pulled up to her chin. With her bandaged shoulder and hands hidden, Anna could almost forget what had happened to Elsa…if it wasn't for the dark bruise on Elsa's pale cheek. And the bandage covering the cut on her forehead. And that odd device the doctor had come up with to help her breathe easier. At least she looked peaceful enough in her sleep and she didn't appear to be having a bad dream. Anna dearly wanted to run to Elsa and just hug her close and apologize for everything, but that was not going to heal her. She would still be badly injured and feel yucky for who knew how long. _Elsa might feel better inside though if I got to talk to her…_

 _No, why would that help?! I hurt her. That'd probably just make it worse. Elsa doesn't want to be around me…I'll scare her. And I wouldn't blame her one bit._ "I can't, Dad," Anna said finally. "Elsa has Mom and Gerda with her. She doesn't need me here. I'll prob'ly…scare her." Anna jerked away from her father and ran off down the hall, biting her lip as she tried not to cry.

 **A/N: Well, everyone's back home at the castle safe anyways.:P And Elsa's badly hurt and Anna thinks she's going to scare Elsa when she wakes up.:/**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing:)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:) I'll have to read it again to remember what you're referring to.:P**

 **Mandy-Of course I'm not mad; I'm busy too.:) Elsa and Anna will be fine; I'm not going to leave them all upset with each other. I'll just say I think Elsa is extra sensitive to burns because she's naturally cool. She'll be okay; I promise.:) Don't forget, Elsa isn't really trying to hold her powers in; it's just she can't use her hands at the moment. Her magic "knows" it can't interfere with her burns that are starting to heal. You're right-I do think Elsa's powers would "explode" if she tries to hold them in for too long, but that's just emotion-based with that conceal-don't-feel garbage.:P The main reason Anikka was there was because I wanted Elsa to have a friend there with her.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-It was kinda more because Elsa _wanted_ the ice to thaw and she knows how to control it now. And the fact that there was (weak) fire magic helping neutralize Elsa's ice and its own effects.:) Elsa does know the whole thing wasn't Anna's fault; she's just hurt from hearing Anna say those things even though she didn't really mean them.:/ I'm glad you liked Elsa's note!:)**

 **Dragonheart35-I need to go back and edit/add stuff so all the logic makes more sense. Agdar knows little to nothing about 'magic logic'; he explained it wrong.:P Elsa _wanted_ Anna to thaw and she knows how to control her powers now, and also the weak fire magic helped cancel everything out. So it's meant to be a combination of both Elsa herself and the fire magic causing that reaction.:P I already know what's going to happen, and it may or may not include something similar to your idea.:) Elsa will be fine eventually.:) Yep, Agdar's acting nicer now. Finally. XD**

 **raven678-I'm glad you liked it!:) Just read on.:) I promise they'll be happy (or at least happi _er_ ) ASAP. Yep, Anikka's getting better! She kind of had to step up and do _something_ when she and Elsa were trapped in the cave. Anikka considers Elsa to be her friend, so she thought she absolutely positively needed to help her if at all possible.**

 **On to the story!:)**

By the next afternoon, the doctor had deemed Elsa strong enough that she could breathe easily enough on her own; and Elsa woke up hungry and very relieved that she could talk clearly now without wondering if whoever she was talking to would understand her. Elsa looked up to see her mother sitting next to her. "Mama, may I have some ice cream? Please?"

Idun smiled, delighted that Elsa seemed far more alert and obviously felt better, considering she was asking for ice cream. "Of course, sweetie. Gerda, could you please get Elsa some ice cream? Perhaps vanilla, since that might be easier on her tummy."

Elsa tried to sit up, but immediately grew frustrated since she couldn't use her hands to push herself up. She managed to prop herself up on her right elbow before her mother simply helped her sit up and lean comfortably against the pillows. "Thank you," Elsa whispered, and averted her gaze and looked out the window. _I hate being virtually helpless. And Papa may have rescued Anna and me…and Anikka…but somehow I doubt he did anything with Jade. Maybe she and her companions died in the smoke and fire, I don't know._ Elsa felt something slightly itchy and stinging on her forehead, and glanced back at her mother. "Mama, is there something on my forehead?" she asked.

"You had a cut there, Elsa," Idun said quietly. "It's a bandage."

"Well, it's itchy." Elsa kicked her covers off a moment later, saying it was too hot. "Much better," she announced. Elsa shook her head, trying to stop her loose hair from falling in her eyes.

Idun shook her head and gave her daughter a gentle hug, not wanting to aggravate any of her injuries. "I'm so glad you're feeling at least a little bit better. I was so worried when your father first brought you home." _I know it's going to take time for her to heal, especially her burned hands and her shoulder, but at least she's alert and feeling better._ "Let's fix up all that thick platinum hair of yours, sweetie," she added, knowing Elsa hated her long hair all falling in her eyes.

Elsa just sat contentedly while her mother gently brushed out the tangles before putting her hair in her usual single braid she liked so much. "Thank you, Mama," Elsa said simply. "Do you think I could maybe put on something else?" she asked, looking down at her chemise. "I feel like…like I haven't got anything on," Elsa explained, her cheeks turning pink in embarrassment. She briefly wondered what had happened to the dress she'd been wearing all that time in the cave before deciding it had probably been completely ruined and therefore most likely been discarded.

"This is from the girl who likes to run about in that scandalous ice-dress?" Idun asked in a lighthearted tone as she gave her daughter a smile.

"My chemise is technically _underthings_!" Elsa replied, slightly piqued. "It goes underneath all my dresses that aren't ice ones. I don't care if it's pretty much a summery nightgown and not see-through or anything; it's still an underthing."

Idun frowned, realizing what Elsa had just said. "You don't put anything under your ice-dress?"

Elsa's cheeks went an even deeper pink. "Well…" Before Elsa could figure out how to explain to her mother that no, she did not put regular underthings on under her ice-dresses because she liked the ice-fabric against her skin; Gerda came in with the ice cream, which saved her from trying to explain _that._ "Oh, there's Gerda with the ice cream!"

"Here is your ice cream, Miss Elsa," Gerda announced as she carried a tray over to Elsa. "I also brought you some chamomile tea, too. I don't know if it'll ease your pain, but it should definitely help you sleep easier."

Elsa smiled as she started to reach for the spoon, but her happy expression abruptly disappeared when she realized she couldn't even feed herself with her hand completely immobilized because of her burns. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry," Elsa said quietly. _Elsa, you can't not eat until your hands heal. You'd better figure out something._ Elsa's face turned red as her tummy growled in protest, negating the words she had just said.

"It's all right, Elsa," Idun said gently, deciding now was not the time to scold Elsa for not wearing proper underclothes all the time. _She can run about in just her chemise for all I care as long as she gets better._ "Here. Just until your burns heal." She quickly held a spoonful of ice cream out to Elsa, who hesitated for a moment before accepting the help.

Elsa's embarrassed and upset expression lifted as she slowly swallowed her ice cream. "Thanks, Mama, Gerda," she said reluctantly. "I just…really don't like needing help. It's embarrassing." _But it makes me happy that my family is actually willing to help and take care of me. It makes me feel like…like I have value, even though I'm not 'special' anymore since I can't use my powers right now._ "But I can. A little bit," Elsa said to herself.

"You can a little bit what?" Idun asked as she fed Elsa another bite of ice cream.

Elsa swallowed before explaining what she meant, her blue eyes twinkling excitedly. "I can still use my powers right now. Not well, not as strong as usual, but a little bit." She closed her eyes and thought hard for a moment, channeling her calm but happy emotions she had at the moment into her powers. Delicate ice patterns swirled across her meal tray sitting on her lap, and her signature snowflake appeared in ice on the ceiling above her, much to Elsa's own surprise. _I didn't know I could do that!_

"Elsa, how…? How on earth are you doing that?!" Idun asked in surprise. "Elsa, please don't try to use your hands. I'm so afraid you'll tear them up further. Stop experimenting and eat your ice cream."

"Mama, it's my emotions. I can subconsciously use my emotions to make ice and snow. It's a controlled version of…terrified, depressed me from before when I would lose control," Elsa explained slowly. "I don't know how it works, but it does. I can't purposely make something specific, but my powers are still there and perfectly usable." She dropped her gaze to her useless hand resting in her lap and her left arm strapped to her body so she couldn't move it and hurt her shoulder. "Even with me messed up like this," she mumbled.

"You're not messed up, sweetie. You're hurt and you need to let yourself heal," Idun corrected.

Anna had been standing out in the hall listening, and her eyes grew big in surprise when she heard what Elsa said next. "Maybe Anna will want to see me after I'm healed?" she heard Elsa ask in a hopeful voice. "Mama, can't I at least see Anna for a little while? I just want to see for myself that she's back to her usual self. Please? Even if she thinks I'm…d-defec-wait, that wasn't really Anna. Anna doesn't think that," Elsa corrected herself.

 _She was just having an awful dream last night,_ Anna realized. _Elsa does too want to see me. She can't help what invades her dreams. Of course she was frightened._ Anna bit her lip as she hesitantly peeked into her sister's room. There was Elsa sitting up in bed while their mother was feeding her ice cream. Elsa had her hands splinted and bandaged, her left arm was in a sling, and she still looked generally beat up and tired; but she was alive and safe. And she was alert and didn't look all upset anymore. _Elsa's safe. My sweet big sister is going to be all right. She's gonna be fine._

* * *

Elsa's eyes lit up when she spotted her little sister standing in the doorway. "Anna?" she questioned. _Is Anna upset with me? Why isn't she coming? Wait…Anna looks a bit…scared. Like I won't want her near me. She looks like I used to feel when I was scared she would be afraid of me if she knew what I did to her when we were little._ Elsa held out her right arm like she wanted to give Anna a hug…which she did. "Anna, come on in and give your injured sister a hug," she teased. "Please?"

Anna hesitated. "Elsa, I…I hurt you. I shot you," she mumbled, wincing as she looked at her sister's bandaged shoulder.

Elsa glanced at her shoulder for a moment and then smiled back at Anna. "That wasn't you. That was Jade's fire power crystal she used to hit you in the heart," she said firmly. "Anna, I'm not scared of you. I might be in a nightmare or if I'm really, really upset or scared; but definitely not when I'm awake and clearheaded. You are not dangerous and you don't hate me and you didn't mean to hurt me." Elsa paused for a moment before adding softly, "It _will_ hurt me if you start avoiding me because of what happened."

Anna ran to Elsa at those words and gently hugged her, trying not to hurt her sister any more than she already was. She felt Elsa clumsily trying her best to hug her back and broke down in tears. "I left you in that c-cage thing all alone in pain unable to stand up, Elsa! Why aren't you mad?!" _The same reason I wasn't mad at her for literally freezing me to death,_ Anna thought. She still felt awful, especially seeing Elsa in her present condition, but at least Elsa was already feeling better. _At least she doesn't have to wear that oxygen mask anymore and she can talk easily. I just wish I could heal her completely…_ "And just for the record…you are not not _not_ defective, Elsa. You're my sweet big sister who needs lots of hugs and care because she's really just an abused young girl. Who also happens to have awesome magic and is a genius."

"It wasn't your fault, Anna. And even if it was, I'd love you anyways," Elsa informed her. She flinched when Anna accidentally touched her wounded shoulder, but she was so happy that Anna was right here safe and sound and back to normal that she didn't care. _I'm glad you're my sister. I know you'd have done the same for me if our places were reversed._

"Sorry, Elsa! I'm sorry!" Anna exclaimed, quickly moving away from Elsa. "C-can…can I get you anything?" she asked hesitantly. "Do anything for you?"

Elsa just gave Anna a quizzical look. "You don't have to act like you just punched me in the face and are really sorry about it just 'cause you touched my shoulder and it still hurts," she deadpanned. Elsa could tell her little sister _really_ wanted to do something for her, so she added, "I suppose you could find my kitten, maybe? I'd like Kolfinnia in my room even if I can't pet her very well."

Anna scowled. "Might as well have punched you in the face. You've got a really bad bruise on your cheek, sis," she muttered. "Have you seen yourself in a mirror?" _Why'd I say that? Elsa shouldn't see herself all beat up like she is; she already has self-esteem issues._

Elsa merely shrugged her uninjured shoulder as her mother gave her another bite of ice cream. "Thank you, Mama. And Anna, my answer is no and why would I care? Bruises go away by themselves. And I, um…I don't care about what my injuries make me look like…'cause…'cause I didn't do it to myself or something. If my burns scar, it won't bother me much as long as my hands work okay. I just don't like being unable to do things on my own," she said matter-of-factly. _That's the truth. Of course I'd rather them disappear with no trace, but if they don't, I'm not going to…to, I don't know…wear gloves again because of it. Just…no._

"Crazy stinker!" Anna suddenly wanted to smack some sense into her sister. Elsa made absolutely no sense; had she really just said she didn't care if she ended up scarred for life as long as it wasn't from something she had done to herself? _That's why Elsa hates it if anyone brings attention to that tiny almost invisible scar on her left wrist from when she tried to commit suicide when she was eighteen. I know that bothers her more than her brace for her leg does…_ "Well, anyways, just for the record, I think you're pretty, Elsa. Even all beat up like you are."

Elsa giggled a bit and grinned. _I know what's pretty, and it's not me. Well, not exactly…_ She closed her eyes as she felt her powers' pleasant coolness running through her; they purposely avoided the main channel they usually used-Elsa's hands-and just appeared as a physical manifestation of her emotions instead. Elsa smiled when she opened her eyes; then frowned when she saw Anna laughing. "What's so funny, Anna?"

"You. Look what you made," Anna informed her. "I think I know one thing about you that you're proud of and think is pretty."

Elsa's cheeks turned pink when she saw the _very_ scaled-down ice palace standing in the center of her room. "I…um…didn't mean to do that?" she said finally. _I do think my ice palace is pretty, though. It reminds me that I'm not just a…a defective little girl who has trouble controlling what makes her so-called 'abnormal' and 'weird'. My ice palace makes me happy. I_ am _proud of it. Anna is right. And I wonder if the mini one I just made is the right size for the two dolls Anna gave me last year…_ Elsa saw Anikka standing in the doorway and smiled at her. "You can come in too, Anikka."

"Kolfinnia," Anikka announced, dropping the kitten in Elsa's lap. Anikka was delighted to see the older girl smiling and laughing again. "Elsa better 'cause happy," she added.

Elsa dearly wanted to pet the kitten's fur-she loved the sensation of Kolfinnia's soft, silky fur on her sensitive fingers-but she couldn't because of her burns. "Thank you for bringing Kolfinnia in here," she said quietly. "I…I'd like to…take a nap, please." _I hate this. I can't even pet a cat. And my hands still hurt. A lot. Which I am not going to tell Anna or anyone else._

Anna immediately flopped down on the bed next to her sister as Anikka climbed up on the bed too. "We'll be quiet," Anna told Elsa. "And…if there's something you wanna talk about, I'll listen."

Elsa just shook her head as her mother helped her lay down before gently pulling the covers over her. She smiled a tiny bit when she felt Anna holding her arm rather than her hand; then suddenly gazed up at her sister, slightly panicked. "Where's my brace? I don't want to be stuck somewhere and can't stand up again-I need it; I-"

Anna bit her lip and looked to her mother for help. _I know exactly why Elsa's frightened and that's my fault. She never wanted it before; she just put it on when she needed to…_

"Elsa, it's right here on the floor," Idun said quickly, trying to calm Elsa down. "You always want it off when you're in bed or otherwise just sitting somewhere. And you are not getting up at the moment…you need to rest. I know those burns still hurt."

"I need it!" Elsa repeated. "Please, Mama, please just put it back on me. Please?" Elsa's big blue eyes shone with tears as she struggled to sit back up on her own. She instinctively tried to use her hand to push herself up and immediately fell back on the pillows, holding her burned hand close against her chest. _I shouldn't have done that-I knew I couldn't, but I tried anyway._ Elsa bit her lip hard to keep herself from making any pained sounds.

Anna gently held her sister still while Idun quickly fastened the brace back around Elsa's weak leg. Elsa relaxed slightly, but she clumsily tried to reach for Anna's hand, too. "Anna is okay…she's herself again," Elsa whispered to herself. "Nothing's making her hurt me again…everything's okay…" _I don't like wearing that thing; I hate it! I just wear it because I have to. Why did I just act so ridiculous?_

 _Remember how you ran up that staircase when you made your ice palace? You're never going to be able to do that again, Elsa. You have trouble simply_ walking _up stairs with that crippled leg of yours._ Elsa's blue eyes were scrunched shut as she remembered actually building that staircase. _'…I am one with the wind and sky…'_ The wind and sky wouldn't care if she wasn't the same girl that sang her heart out on the North Mountain all those months ago. Besides, Elsa liked her present-day self better anyways-this Elsa had her _whole family_ back.

But she still wanted to go back up to the summit of the North Mountain so much. It was _her_ place…the place that had let her have a taste of freedom for the first time in thirteen years. Even though Elsa knew full well that running off to the North Mountain had simply given her a larger place to be isolated in instead of her room, she had made something that was purely hers. Nobody would meddle with it or harm it.

Actually, Elsa secretly thought it would absolutely perfect if she could live in her ice palace with her family permanently. She still felt uncomfortable with large crowds and she hated social gatherings. They made her feel constricted and exhausted and they gave her a headache.

 _You can fly, Elsa. Literally. Not right now, obviously, but you can when those burns heal._

 _I can fly to the place of my dreams. It doesn't matter if I can't walk very well. It wouldn't matter if I couldn't walk at all._ A happy smile spread across Elsa's face as she finally relaxed entirely.

"Mom, is it all right to hold her?" Anna whispered in her mother's ear.

"Of course, honey. Just be careful. She's still in pain, even if she won't admit it." Idun gave her daughters a sad smile as the younger ever so carefully scooped up her injured older sister.

* * *

Anna scooted back so she could lean against the pillows and just hold Elsa comfortably in her arms. "You're gonna be fine, sis," Anna said firmly.

Elsa, who hadn't said a word while Anna picked her up, just nodded as she leaned her head against her sister's shoulder. _I know I'll be fine…I'm just tired of waiting for that to happen. It's like…like every time everything is calm and happy, something else awful happens. Every time. This time…this time, once everything is fixed, NOTHING else dreadful is going to happen. I'm sick of it._ Something else popped into Elsa's head, and she asked, "What did Papa do after he rescued us? Because Espen and the other man Jade had with her might have died in all that smoke and fire, but I'll bet Jade definitely didn't. She was the one with the power crystal."

Anna and her mother traded glances. "Elsa, Dad did tell the guards to comb the area and search the cave, but…I, um, don't know. I was kind of really, really worried about you…I was afraid you were gonna die or something before we got you home."

Elsa's expression darkened. "Jade isn't permanently defeated. She has access to those crystals," she said flatly. "Mama, could you either write something for me or ask Gerda or Kai to? I'll not just stay safe in my castle while she's on the loose. She needs to either be stopped or snapped to her senses." Elsa turned her attention to Anna and added, "You are forbidden to leave the castle grounds until further notice. I will not have you kidnapped again."

Anna nodded, but secretly she planned to return to that cave as soon as possible. Elsa had given her an idea when she mentioned the power crystals. Maybe she could find a healing crystal and bring it back and heal her big sister. Elsa wouldn't be mad at her if she did that, right?

 **A/N: Well, at least Elsa and Anna are happy at the moment.:) But Jade is still somewhere on the loose, and Elsa isn't exactly able to fight at the moment; so Arendelle isn't safe yet.**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-Elsa will be okay; just give her a chance.:) Well, Elsa knows she can't go after Anna if something happens, so she said the only thing she could-that Anna was forbidden to leave the castle grounds. Of course, we all know Anna is not going to listen, but still.:/**

 **johnpatgillespie-I thought Elsa and Anna needed a bit of happiness, at least for a little while.:) Oh, okay! I'll go look:)**

 **rachel-Thank you!:)**

 **Dragonheart35-Anna's just trying to help, but it remains to be seen if she does help or just causes more trouble.:P Well, I'll put it this way-Elsa is not going to spend the whole story seriously injured and simply being the mastermind behind the actions to bring Jade to justice since she can't take physical action herself.:/ Just wait a bit longer.:) If you have any special requests regarding what magic you want one of the crystals to have, please tell me, because most likely I can work it in, at least in one scene or something.:) Agreed-Agdar is very very dumb when it comes to magic. Especially Elsa's.:P**

 **On to the story!:)**

"Papa, what do you mean Anna left?!" Elsa demanded the next morning. "I specifically instructed her not to leave the castle grounds in case someone wanted to kidnap her again." _It figures Anna didn't listen. What else is new?_ She started to get out of bed by herself; then thought better of it. "Oh, what's the use?" she muttered to herself. _I can't go outside like this whether I'm strong enough to search for Anna or not…_ Elsa was actually quite certain her legs would cooperate just fine to go look for Anna, but she didn't dare go out in public completely unable to use her hands. Using her emotions to subconsciously direct her ice magic wasn't nearly reliable enough, and Elsa was determined not to do something stupid. Going to look for Anna herself was stupid. And her burns and her wounded shoulder still hurt quite a bit besides.

"Elsa, she went to go see if there was a healing power crystal in that cave. She took that snowman of yours Olaf with her. I'm sure that creature would scare away anyone who might try to bother her," Agdar said.

Elsa scowled at that. "Olaf is not scary. He's just a little snowman," she pointed out. "Papa, _why_ did you let Anna leave? You have to go after her and bring her back! 'Cause I can't…"

"Olaf talks. It's a talking snowman, Elsa. You should not have made a living…thing out of snow," Agdar said with a frown. "And you want to know why I let Anna leave?" Without waiting for an answer, he carefully picked up a very surprised Elsa and carried her over to the mirror. "This is why. Look at yourself, Elsa. I will not pass up a chance to get you healed properly and quickly."

Elsa just blinked at the 'other' Elsa in the mirror. All Elsa saw were worried blue eyes blaming herself for Anna leaving in the first place. And okay, that girl in the mirror was pretty beat up. But it wasn't anything surprising or shocking to her. "That is _not_ a good reason to let Anna leave by herself for something she may not find that may not even help me even if she did find it," Elsa said firmly. "Papa, I'm still the queen. I know I need help-a _lot_ of help, actually-but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't intentionally let my orders be broken."

"I daresay your father knows what's best for you better than you do," Agdar said flatly. "You were just short of being suicidal not that long ago. You still need help whether you like it or not."

Elsa just closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Papa, you don't know what's best for me. You never did. You did try, though._ "Looking for a power crystal to heal me might be the best thing for me, but it isn't the best thing for Anna or anyone else. You are the one who taught me that a good king or queen always puts the needs of his or her kingdom in front of their own." She looked her father right in the eyes. "Papa, either go send someone-hopefully some _ones_ -after Anna yourself for me, or I will go summon someone to do my bidding on my own. Better yet, actually, please go after her yourself. Anna is out there alone. Do you want her to end up looking like I do at the moment?" Elsa asked in the most unemotionally realistic voice she could muster. "And I am not suicidal. Not anymore. I'm on a mission; I have a job to do to take care of my country and my family. I don't _think_ I'm depressed, either…I'm probably just a little…traumatized…like I'll probably have bad dreams for awhile again from what happened." _Then again, I was okay last night…maybe I just needed to clear my head? I don't know. I confuse myself sometimes._

* * *

Kiara knocked on the doorframe before coming in without invitation. "Snow Queen Elsa, I just went down to the dungeon to give my brother breakfast and he's not down there," she said seriously. "What d'you want me to do? Go after him? I still have the ice power crystal. Maybe I can scare him and make him think you're on his trail. 'Cause Hans doesn't know you got hurt so bad as far as I know."

Elsa gave her father an I-told-you-so look. "No, Kiara, but thank you for telling me. I'll not have you going out alone too. Here is what you _can_ do, though. First, tuck that crystal somewhere safe where no one can see it or know you have it." Elsa rolled her eyes when Kiara nonchalantly tucked it down the front of her dress. "All right, I suppose that works. Now go back to the dungeon and look for any possible clues Hans may have left; then report back to me. Do not use any powers unless someone attacks you. Jade, wherever she is, thinks I'm entirely out of commission at the moment. The last time she saw me, I was half blacked out and a complete mess. She can just go right on thinking that. If you use the crystal, she'll probably think it's me, which we don't want. Understand?"

"You use logic too much, Snow Queen Elsa," Kiara said, faking a yawn. "But yeah, I understand. Be right back." She ran off to follow Elsa's simple instructions.

Elsa turned her attention back to her father. "Now Papa, I want you to go find Anna. Immediately. You know where she went and I don't want to attract attention by sending a group of guards. Go after Anna in disguise. Wear peasant clothes or something, I don't care. But go get my sister!" She paused for a moment, noticing her father's surprised look at her authoritative tone. "Yes, Papa, I'm using my authority this time. That's an order! But I'm saying…please, too," she added, giving her father a lopsided smile. _Please? I can't go by myself…_

"Now what if someone tries to attack you while I'm gone?" Agdar asked.

"I p'otect Elsa," Anikka announced proudly from the floor, where she was playing with Elsa's birthday present dolls and the scaled-down ice palace Elsa had made.

Agdar pursed his lips at the child and sent a disapproving look at Elsa. "So there is my seriously injured daughter in her room by herself and a five-year-old girl thinks she's going to protect her," he said flatly.

Elsa struggled to her feet and looked her father right in the eyes, her blue eyes flashing. "I said, go get my sister," she said in a quiet voice that somehow demanded to be listened to. "Now." _If something happens to Anna…_

Agdar abruptly left the room and shut the door. "Very well, Queen Elsa. I shall be back."

* * *

Elsa sighed and slowly limped over to the comfy chair in the corner of her room, tired of staying in bed. Yes, she was still sore in more places than she cared to count, but she felt much better. Mostly just her burns hurt; even her shoulder just ached quite a bit now instead of throbbing and feeling like something had shot her…which was technically true, but Elsa didn't like to remember that. She smiled at Anikka as she watched the little girl play. _I'm glad I made that little ice palace, even if it was by accident. Anikka loves it. I kinda would rather she didn't play with my dolls from Anna, but that's selfish. And Anikka_ is _being careful._ "What game are you playing, Anikka?" she asked curiously.

"Elsa play too?" Anikka asked hopefully.

"Anikka, I don't think I'd be much fun. I can't even hold one of the dolls," Elsa said softly. "Also, if I sit on the floor, I won't be able to stand back up, even if you try to help me."

"Can too!" Anikka hopped up and put the Elsa doll under the older girl's arm. "See, Elsa can too hold dolly!" she said proudly. "Elsa play Elsa. Anna is take…taking?" (Anikka beamed when Elsa nodded that yes, that was the right word) "taking Elsa to ice palace. Elsa hurt. Ice palace make her feel better. C'n I sit on Elsa lap? Please?"

Elsa smiled a bit as she immediately nodded. "Of course. Just…try not to touch my hands or my shoulder, that's all. They're still sore. And I can't really hold you very well, either." Actually Elsa's hands were more than just sore-they _hurt_ -but she didn't want to tell little Anikka that.

Anikka happily climbed onto Elsa's lap, now holding both dolls herself. "I not hurt Elsa," she promised. "This Elsa hurt too. Like you. But going t'get better."

Elsa frowned but then gave Anikka a lopsided smile when she realized what the little girl meant. Anikka had wrapped doll Elsa's hands up in some bits of white cloth she'd found. "I'm sure you took extra good care of her," Elsa whispered. "Anikka, why would you want to play with a doll who's hurt like me? She can't be much fun in whatever imaginary game you've set up…"

"So's ev'ryone take care an' love her. Make Elsa happy again," Anikka said, her little voice cracking a bit as she clutched both dolls close and dropped her gaze. "Make Anikka happy, too." While the grown-ups at the orphanage took the best care of all the children they could and Anikka knew it, the little girl still missed someone taking care of her personally. The orphanage had not been home to her; she wanted someone to love and take care of her like her parents had done. Elsa didn't know it, but Anikka had been wishing she could 'live at Elsa's house' since she'd met Elsa last summer. Anikka just wished her brother Timothy could have been there with her. He would have been happy here too; she just knew it. "Anikka miss Timothy."

Elsa hugged the little girl as best she could. _At least Anikka knows I'm trying to anyways…_ "Anikka, I'm no mother, but I do love you and I'll take care of you as best I can. And if there's something I can't do, I'll find someone who-" Elsa cut herself off when she heard Anikka's quiet but fearful voice. "What was that, Anikka?" she asked.

"Bad Jade," Anikka said again, hopping down off Elsa's lap. "Bad Jade, Elsa," she repeated, her brown eyes wide in fright. "No hurt Elsa!" Anikka shouted.

* * *

Elsa's mind raced as she tried to decide what to do. _This is exactly what Papa was afraid of. I have to do something! Now…wait, I know…_ Elsa struggled to stand up, keeping her eyes fastened on Jade standing by the window. "Jade, get out of my castle," she ordered. "Get out. Now." To Anikka she said, "Anikka, hide somewhere safe. Do it now." She inwardly sighed in relief when the little girl crawled into the scaled-down ice palace and just stayed in there curled in a ball clutching the dolls. _Good. She should be safe in there._

Jade just gave Elsa a disdainful grin as she strode toward the slightly younger girl. "You're alone with a five-year-old. I would have thought the Snow Queen would make sure there was someone guarding her when she's in your condition."

Elsa stood her ground and stared Jade right in the eyes. "Leave me and my country and family alone," she said in a threatening tone. "If you want help with funds or a home, I will do that. But if you are here for my powers or to hurt people I love, get out. Now." Inside Elsa was shaking in fear, but years of emotional control let her keep that from showing on the outside. At least mostly. If Jade had been more observant, she would have noticed the sheen of ice forming under Elsa's feet.

Jade shoved Elsa roughly until she was pinned against the wall. "Just who do you think you are?" she hissed angrily. "You are _nothing_ if you don't include your ice powers. Nothing but a helpless little girl everyone could throw away and not need anymore. You're worthless." _Just like the rest of her family. I hate the whole lot of them. They took my parents…everything…away from me. Arendelle could be so much more than it is now, too…Arendelle is my country, too! I love Arendelle._

Elsa's face crumpled at that and a single tear trickled down her bruised cheek. _Elsa, get it together. You have to keep Anikka safe. You have one defense at your disposal right now, and it isn't even your powers. Just…do it. It might be mean, but you can do it. Get Jade out of here. You can't chase her, but get her out of here. She's just trying to get to you where it hurts most._ In one swift motion, Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and swung her right elbow up as hard as she could, catching Jade in the jaw. "Jade, leave my home! Now!" she shouted.

Jade clapped her hands to her jaw and stumbled backwards away from Elsa. "Where did _that_ come from?!" she demanded.

Elsa moved so she was standing in front of the scale version of the ice palace where Anikka was hiding, still holding her elbow up so she could do the same thing again if she needed to. "That would be called using the defenses at my disposal. Jade, you need to leave. You will not hurt me or my family or friends or anything else in or about my country. Get out!"

"Arendelle is my country too!" Jade shouted back.

Elsa's poker face fighting expression softened at that comment, and she dropped her elbow from her defensive position. "Jade…yes, Arendelle is your country too, but you're _hurting_ people. Do you understand that? You burned down the orphanage Anikka used to live at. Three children died in that fire. Children, Jade. I don't understand why you're doing all these things you're doing; but if you love Arendelle, you would stop venting whatever you are angry about on innocent people," she said quietly. _Is Jade really just hurting inside herself or something? I don't know…_

"You hurt innocent people yourself, _Queen_ Elsa," Jade spat. "Don't try to paint yourself in an oh-so-perfect light. You did nothing wrong, per se…you're just not willing to go the distance for this country. It's your father I have the vendetta with. You just happen to be a side casualty because I need your powers. I don't care what happens to you or what you do after I get what I need from you." Jade paused as she marched right up to Elsa and stared her right in the face.

 _I'm not perfect, not by far, but I did not hurt innocent people on purpose…_ Elsa refused to flinch or back down even though she felt terrified. What was she supposed to do? She wished someone else in the castle would hear what was going on and come help her and Anikka. _You want someone to hear you, Elsa, then you scream,_ a little voice told her. "Jade, if you don't leave, I am going to summon someone here to help me," she warned.

Jade ignored her. "I want to get rid of your horrible idiot of a father," she hissed. "It's his fault my parents are dead! You were just a little eight-year-old kid then. I don't blame you for that. It's your stupid parents!" _Why did I tell Elsa that?! Now she has far too much information about me and exactly what I want…this girl might be injured and traumatized, but she is definitely not stupid._

Now Elsa screamed at the top of her lungs. She would not put up with this any longer. _Someone please hear me. Please._

Anikka was still curled up inside the scaled-down ice palace when she heard the older girl's screaming. For someone she had almost always heard speak in a quiet voice, albeit one that said 'listen to me', Anikka thought Elsa screamed awfully loud. And she wasn't squealing in that high-pitched, hurt-your-ears voice, either. Elsa was just loud. Anikka was sure everyone in the castle had to be able to hear her.

And then she heard ice crackling loudly, a pained yelp, and then all the noise abruptly ceased. Anikka twisted herself around so she could peek outside of the tiny ice palace. (Even for five-year-old Anikka, being inside Elsa's scaled-down ice palace was a very tight fit. It was more like a very large dollhouse than child-sized.) Anikka hesitated. Elsa had told her to stay hidden somewhere safe. But she could see Elsa lying on the floor right outside her icy hiding place. What if that bad Jade girl hurt Elsa again? Elsa was trying her best to block the entrance, but now she wasn't moving.

Anikka was still thinking when she heard a door burst open and footsteps come running into the room. Then two-maybe three?-voices ordering Jade to leave.

"I need her powers!" Jade exclaimed now. She backed away from the two other people in the room who she knew were only too eager to capture her. _What do I do?_ "I…either you attempt to capture me or you help that queen of yours," she announced her ultimatum. Jade still had power crystals; while they didn't hurt Elsa if used on her directly, they would definitely affect the others. Jade decided she would rather avoid being captured than risk bothering with this whole situation anymore. She could always come back. Jade had most definitely not expected Elsa to start screaming like that, of all things. _Well, I have to admit she's smart. I didn't think Elsa would be any trouble at all when she can't even use her hands. Elsa's pretty resourceful…she needs to be completely neutralized. I think in some ways she's more dangerous than her dad…what to do, what to do…_

Elsa lay on the ice-covered floor where she had fallen, but she wasn't completely unconscious. _Gerda, Kai…please leave me. Just capture Jade and then bother with me._ She still wasn't entirely sure what had happened; just that one moment she was screaming and the next she couldn't put any weight on her right foot and immediately fell and hit her head hard on something.

Both Gerda and Kai hesitated for less than a second before turning their focus to Elsa. Somehow it seemed far more important to take care of Elsa than to capture that Jade person.

Jade grinned and slipped out the window. That had been exactly what she assumed and hoped would happen.

* * *

"Don't pick her up yet. We don't know what happened to her," Gerda told Kai. "She could have hurt her spine or something…Miss Elsa? Can you hear me?" Gerda smiled in relief when Elsa gave the slightest of nods, even though she made no effort to open her eyes. "All right, can you move your toes, Miss Elsa?"

"Mmhmm," Elsa mumbled. "Gerda…I didn't hurt my back…" She slowly blinked up at Gerda and immediately shut her eyes again against the light; although she did feel completely conscious again. "My right ankle hurts. I think I fell and hit my head," she explained finally.

Gerda quickly and gently scooped Elsa up and carried her back to bed. "Anikka, it's safe to come out now. Miss Elsa, why didn't you tell someone to stay with you? Now you're hurt again, on top of everything else from before," she scolded. Gerda fluffed Elsa's pillows; then frowned when she actually looked at the girl's foot and ankle. "Kai, fetch the doctor. Again. Miss Elsa, you had better hope your sister finds or has found a power crystal that can heal you. At least partly," she said briskly.

Elsa made no reply to that. "Is Anikka okay?" she asked. _As long as I managed to keep Anikka safe, I don't care. I can deal with it hurting like that._

Gerda's expression softened at that. "She's perfectly fine. How couldn't she be? You were blocking where she was hiding," she told Elsa. "Just rest quietly, Miss Elsa. You shouldn't have been trying to fight on your own like that."

Elsa winced as she shifted uncomfortably in a futile effort to find a more comfortable position for her ankle. _Well, at least I didn't land on that shoulder anyhow. That's good. I just want Anna back home safe whether she found something to fix me or not. She's far more important than I am._

* * *

"I would suggest keeping her sedated for awhile," Raske told Gerda a short while later. "I know she doesn't like taking any sort of medicine, but she needs to rest, even if it's forced. Give her another dose in three to four hours. I know Queen Elsa well enough to be quite sure she will try to get up the second she wakes up. Do not let her put any weight on that ankle at all. She will just have to stay in bed and that's that."

"No concussion?" Gerda asked in concern. "I know she hit her head when she fell."

"Surprisingly not. She will probably have a severe headache when she wakes up, though." The doctor paused before continuing, "I know all of us are grateful for what she's done for Arendelle, but she simply cannot do any work of any kind whatsoever. She needs to rest. Her body can't put up with being abused like this forever. Also…off the record…if you'll pardon my saying so, she's been traumatized repeatedly in one way or another almost her whole life. She may easily deal with physical pain, but she's still going to feel hurt on the inside that someone purposely hurt her. Just…please watch her and take care of her. Somehow she still seems like the little girl I saw over thirteen years ago. She's just excessively mature in other ways."

Gerda gave Elsa a concerned look. Elsa may have been the queen, but she was nearly a daughter to Gerda. _I saw Elsa grow up. She_ _may seem like_ _the little girl from thirteen years ago, but she's not. Eight-year-old Elsa wasn't traumatized like present-day Elsa is. Elsa is getting better...or she was until someone did this to her...but still._ Gerda remembered Elsa getting all upset the day before because she hadn't been wearing her brace, and decided to take the liberty of asking the doctor about it. "Miss Elsa became rather upset yesterday when she realized she wasn't wearing her brace. I think she was frightened of being trapped somewhere unable to stand up again," Gerda said carefully, wanting to hear Raske's response.

"Normal reaction," Raske told Gerda. "Especially from someone like Queen Elsa, who already had a history of psychological issues. She'll be fine. Since she does genuinely need a brace to stand up or walk, don't worry about it. Just keep reminding her that she is indeed safe at home and that she doesn't _have_ to wear it all the time. That way you're helping her but not bothering her about it."

When Gerda didn't say anything and just sat down next to Elsa, the doctor added, "Really, she's adjusted well to losing her ability to run and such. Much better than some children far younger than she is have to things like that."

Gerda shook her head. "That's because she has the two-three depending on how you count them-things she always wanted most: a family that loves her, to be able to control her powers...and just to be accepted exactly as she is. That being said, I know Miss Elsa is still sensitive inside, which is why the princess hurting her affected her so much. Goodness, this is none of my business. I highly doubt Miss Elsa would want me to say such things..."

Raske frowned and gave a dry chuckle. "You do know I already knew those things about our queen, I daresay," he said quietly. "I know she is more than capable to be our reigning monarch and I respect her as such, but I also know there is a part of her that was never able to grow up properly. That doesn't affect her ability to govern Arendelle, but it does affect her ability to deal with her emotions. That also is at least part of what made her want only a couple simple things all her life."

 _Those things are what gave Elsa the little hope she did have when she was younger...once she lost that hope, she had nothing left. I remember finding her sitting on the floor in her room in the middle of an icy mess trying to slice her wrist...if Anna hadn't realized what she was doing..._ Gerda gently brushed a wisp of hair away from Elsa's sleeping face and finally just said, "Thank you, Sir Raske. That will be all for now."

Anikka curled up in a ball next to Elsa, who was fast asleep now. "Elsa need love. Elsa love ev'ryone. Ev'ryone oughta love Elsa too," she announced.

* * *

"Dad, I'm looking for a power crystal that will help Elsa," Anna repeated for the umpteenth time as she pawed through a small pile of power crystals she'd found on the ground in that cave. "I can't tell which ones are which!"

"Anna, come along now. There is someone coming. Just grab the whole pile and come!" Agdar whispered frantically.

Anna finally grabbed four different crystals she thought might be the right one-they were all shades of yellow-and ducked into the shadows with her father as footsteps came closer. She clapped a hand over her mouth when the someone came into view. _It's stupid Hans! What on earth is he doing here?!_

"He doesn't like warm hugs," Olaf announced.

Agdar and Anna figuratively froze for a split second; and then Agdar shoved Anna in front of him. "Run! Just run!" he shouted.

Hans was left standing in shocked surprise at the figures dashing out of sight.

* * *

Outside the cave, Anna ran right into someone else, who turned out to be Espen. "Princess Anna, I can tell you which crystals you have," he whispered, and yanked her behind a rock. "Electricity. Light. Healing. Not sure what this one is," he said, pointing to the fourth one. "The light one is really weak-it's pretty much a magic lantern or lamp and that's about it. I'm guessing you wanted the healing one…I'd use it for the most serious injuries first. Because it _will_ give out." He jumped up and started to run off, but Anna grabbed his arm.

"Why should I believe you? You're Jade's brother," Anna hissed. "You might be lying to me!"

"Ask your sister. I tried to help her before. After Jade burned her hands. Look, Jade's my sister…I agree with some of her goals, but not the stuff she's doing. She's hurting a lot of innocent people, including you and the queen…just…yeah. I need to go." Espen ran off, leaving a very surprised Anna behind.

"I don't trust him, but I think he's telling the truth," Anna said finally.

 **A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **Dragonheart77-I PM'ed you, so I won't make you reread the same thing here.:)**

 **readeronly76-Thanks for the tips.:) I think you might like this chapter then.:) Jade has mixed morals, but I'll try to make her a better character.:) Thank you!:)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Agdar just still doesn't like the idea of his daughter creating live sentient creatures made of snow. Therefore he thinks Olaf is scary.:P**

 **Gold17-I'm glad you liked it! Thank you.:)**

 **Mandy-YW.:) Yes, Elsa is doing a little better; she's just still hurt. And let's just say that the Arendelle guards are pretty incompetent...like the guards in, like, every movie ever.:P Elsa isn't very good at using her thoughts/emotions to direct her powers because she just realized that it's possible for her to do that, but in my mind, she can get a lot better at it.:) Elsa and Anikka were by themselves in Elsa's room when Jade got in. What Elsa should have done was scream right then and there. Or she should have made someone stay with her and Anikka.:P But she didn't.:/ I'm so glad you like reading my story(ies):)**

 **Elsa Tomago-Agdar just isn't thinking. He sees Elsa hurt like she is and just automatically jumped at the first chance to help her. In the process, he let Anna be put in danger. *facepalm* I agree, Anikka does understand Elsa better.:) Elsa will be fine-hearing hurtful words from Jade don't affect her as much as hearing them from Anna. It just made her upset in the moment. Also remember how Elsa sees herself...to her, she's nothing without her powers because that's what she needs to protect Arendelle. At the moment she sees a scared little girl in pain (in more ways than one) that can't do anything to help herself or others.**

 **raven678-Thank you! Well, to be fair, going off to look for the crystals was Anna's idea.:P Agdar shouldn't have let her leave, though. Elsa will be okay.:) (And that's fine; don't apologize for that.:))**

 **WarriorQueen 14-That's okay.:) Elsa's main problem is her burned hands-she can't defend herself or anyone else very well like that. But she's going to be fine; I promise.:) Yep, Jade isn't exactly logical. She thinks she is, but she's not. Hmm, I hadn't realized that, but thanks for pointing it out.:/ That's WAY too many 'main' characters. I want them all in my story-verse, but I like the idea of making sure to focus on only a few (Elsa, Anna, Anikka, Jade) rather than all those characters. *goes to edit story* Thank you.:)**

 **On to the story!:)**

Kiara now stood guard next to her friend. After looking thoroughly through the dungeon for clues, Kiara had finally deduced that her brother had simply gone out the window. Perhaps that Jade person had helped him escape. Anyways, Kiara still had the ice power crystal, so she decided she would just stay guarding Elsa unless Elsa expressly said otherwise. And Elsa was sleeping at the moment, so she wouldn't do any such thing anyway, even if she wanted to. "Mrs. Grieg, why is Snow Queen Elsa so…uncaring about herself?" Kiara asked. "She's never put herself first. Not once since I met her last summer. Nobody in my family would ever do anything like Elsa does. Sometimes I don't think Elsa cares about herself _at all_ , even when it wouldn't be selfish to do that. She acts like…um, like…like she isn't really worth caring about."

Idun just shook her head as she gently smoothed Elsa's hair back away from her face. "Kiara, you know Elsa grew up thinking that way. She's…damaged inside. Perhaps not 'damaged', per se, but she's still hurt. Elsa just doesn't have much self-worth in the first place. And I think she's naturally caring to everyone else around her. It's just…Elsa." On impulse, she gently scooped Elsa up and went to sit in the comfy chair in the corner, holding the sleeping girl securely in her arms. _You're going to be fine, Elsa. I will not leave you alone again. I should have stayed here in the room with you. Then maybe you wouldn't have been hurt again._

Anikka huffed and hopped off the bed. "I sit with Elsa. Anikka love Elsa," she said, staring at her in concern. "Bad Jade hurt Elsa. Elsa need hugs."

Kiara scowled. "Elsa oughta freeze that nitwit solid the second she's better. Snow Queen Elsa is just lying here and she can't even _do_ anything," she spat. "Mrs. Grieg, you and Elsa's dad were really stupid. Why the heck would you abuse someone like her? She was just a little kid! Younger than me. I bet she just wanted somebody to take care of her and love her. 'Cause I can tell that's _still_ what she wants most and yet she thinks she doesn't deserve it." She grabbed a pillow off the bed and went over to Elsa. "And right now you're just holding her 'cause you feel guilty about it and you're trying to make yourself feel better, not because you're trying to make _her_ feel better. You're most likely hurting her ankle right this second." Kiara carefully propped Elsa's bound foot up with the pillow and made a face. "And I hope Anna found a crystal that'll help Snow Queen Elsa."

Idun just closed her eyes and sighed. "Kiara Westergaard, please be quiet," she said firmly. "Agdar and I made many mistakes…nearly ruined poor Elsa to be honest; but she is fine. Or at least will be." _But…Elsa is_ not _fine. She's badly hurt physically right now and I remember the sweet and carefree little girl I knew when she was tiny. Elsa is still the same sweet little girl, but she's nowhere near carefree. At all…_ "I am trying to fix those mistakes now. We can't erase the past, but we can change the future."

"No, Mrs. Grieg, you guys didn't just 'make mistakes'. You _abused_ her." Kiara stared Idun right in the eyes. "You know what Anna once told me happened to Snow Queen Elsa? She said you guys chained Elsa in the dungeon for nothing but predicting a storm! That's stupid and horrible!"

Elsa shifted slightly in her mother's arms as her mind began to register her surroundings again as she woke up. "Mama…? Kiara…?" she asked, recognizing those two voices immediately. _What happened…why's my ankle hurt? I have an awful headache…wait, I remember. Okay. I know Anikka is safe…I did manage to protect her…_ "Where's…Anna?"

* * *

Idun was still wondering what to tell Elsa when Anna came running into the room, her skirt torn and her hair half-unbraided. "Anna's right here," Anna announced happily. She stopped in her tracks a second later. "What happened to Elsa now? How did she hurt her foot?"

Elsa blinked tiredly at her sister. "I…tried to defend Anikka and…myself from Jade…I think Jade tripped me or something; I'm not quite sure," she explained. Finally feeling completely awake again, she quickly scanned the room, looking for Anikka. _Oh, there she is. And she's fine. Good._

"I got a crystal that oughta help you get better, Elsa," Anna told her excitedly. "See?" She held out the golden yellow healing crystal so her sister could see it; then asked their mother to move Elsa back to the bed and tried to give Elsa a hug at the same time. This made Elsa giggle, since Anna was making absolutely no sense at the moment.

"Anna, there's just one problem I have with what you did," Elsa said firmly the second she was settled leaning against the pillows on her bed. "I specifically told you not to leave the castle! I know you were just trying to help me, but what if you had gotten hurt? Or captured again? I can't go after you this time…" _Although I think I probably would have anyway…_

Anna didn't look a bit sorry. "I had to help you, sis. You're hurt and I hate seeing you like that and I want you better. Supposedly this crystal will 'run out' of power, so it won't heal you entirely, but it should help some," she explained. Anna gently took her sister's right hand and held the golden yellow crystal against it.

Elsa herself yelped in surprise when she felt her own magic complaining at her about the intrusion. "Anna, get away from me! Now!" she shouted frantically. A moment later, a wave of blue exploded from Elsa's injured hand, leaving her shaking in pain and protectively holding her hand close against her chest. _Breathe, Elsa. It's fine. Next time control that instinctive reaction and either hold it in or send it elsewhere._ "Anna…just put the crystal next to me," she said slowly. "Don't touch me with it. I want to try something…but stay away from me, please. I don't know if this will work."

"Sure, Elsa," was Anna's instant reply. _I think Elsa's magic was trying to protect her…it can't tell the different whether the crystal is going to harm her or help her._ "Here, sis."

Elsa waited until her sister had moved away and then ever so slowly reached her splinted hand toward the crystal. _Calm, Elsa. The crystal is not going to hurt me. It's going to help get rid of those burns._ She scrunched her eyes shut, trying her best to redirect the swirling cold inside her to simple snowflakes falling…well, _pouring_ down around her. Elsa felt the pain from her burned hand fade away, and then suddenly just could not force her powers to not kick out the foreign magic any longer. "I can't…do it anymore…" she gasped out, slumping back against her pillows. When Elsa blinked her blue eyes open a few seconds later, her cheeks turned pink in embarrassment. _I kept myself from exploding, but there must be a foot of snow all over the floor! What a mess…_ "I'm sorry, Anna," Elsa said quietly. "My powers don't like other magic interfering with it, I don't think. This isn't going to work. I think my hand is better, though…"

Anna eagerly hopped on the bed next to her sister and gently freed Elsa's hand from its dressings. And scowled. And then smiled. And scowled again. "It looks…different?" Anna said finally. She forced a smile when she saw Elsa's hopeful expectant look, but she knew she probably still just looked disappointed. "Elsa…" _Elsa's hand is not all better. She has awful mostly-healed scars all over it instead…I can't tell her that. Not when she looks all happy like she does now._

Elsa's hopeful expression faded when she saw her sister's disappointed face. _What did Anna think would happen?_ Elsa thought as she examined her hand closely. _Of course it scarred up. It's ugly but it's pretty much what I figured would happen, if not a bit better, actually…_ She experimented moving her fingers, half expecting awful pain to go shooting through her hand again, but it felt fine. Maybe a bit stiff, but perfectly fine otherwise. "It's okay, see? I can move it just fine. Even make a fist," she added, demonstrating that to prove her point. "It just…looks bad. Partly 'cause I'm so pale otherwise."

"It was _magic_ ," Anna mumbled. "That stupid crystal was supposed to make you completely better. Not just speed up the ordinary healing process. Your hand looks awful, Elsa. Doesn't it still hurt…?" She crossed her arms and looked away when Elsa held out her hand. _That isn't fair. That's not Elsa's naturally super fair skin…_

Elsa jerked her scarred hand back and ducked it under the covers, her happy feelings from her hand being far better, at least in her opinion, having abruptly disappeared. She felt a single tear trickle down her cheek as she thought about Anna's words. _It does look awful, Elsa. She was just telling the truth._

 _I know, but what if Anna suddenly didn't want to see me anymore?_ "Anna, do you still love me?" she blurted. _Elsa, that's a stupid question and you know it. Anna doesn't care what your hand looks like. That's shallow and ridiculous._

Anna jerked a horrified glance toward her sister at that and just nodded. "Why wouldn't I?! Of course I do-you're my _sister_ ; I-"

 _I should just tell Anna why I said that, even if it doesn't make any sense…_ "Because I look awful." Elsa slowly pulled her hand back out from under the covers and stared at the burn scars all over her palm and fingers. "And…a-and I couldn't heal you right when I found you," she added quietly. _None of this would have happened if I'd just kept Anna safe in the first place. Then Jade wouldn't have kidnapped her and I wouldn't have had to try to rescue her from Jade at all…_

Anna scrunched her eyes shut and shook her head hard; then just bit her lip as she looked back at her sister. The bandage on Elsa's forehead. The dark bruise on her pale cheek, although it was starting to fade a bit now. Worst of all, that sad look in Elsa's big blue eyes. _She still just wants to be loved and for someone to take care of her. I can tell… And did Elsa really just pretty much blame herself for everything Jade did or made me do to her?!_ "Elsa… _you're_ the one who ended up so badly hurt and you're blaming yourself for it?" Anna asked.

Elsa's sad expression just crumpled entirely at that as she buried her face in her little sister's shoulder. _Why would Anna even care? I know she does…but…but I think villainized-Anna might have been right…also, if Papa had left me in the dungeon when I was little, the accident never would have happened in the first place…he could have gotten rid of me…_

 _No, Elsa. No. You're just a young girl. Nobody deserves a life like that. You made mistakes, that's all. You're special. You have a job to do here._ Elsa felt much better all of a sudden, but she made no effort to move. It made all the hurt, at least most of it, from everything fade away.

"I'll always love you no matter what you look like," Anna said finally, gently pulling her big sister close so she could hold her. "That'd be really stupid and shallow otherwise, which I know you already know…I just thought…you know…since it was a magic power crystal-"

"That I'd immediately look like I did before," Elsa easily finished Anna's sentence. "Anna, it's not your fault it didn't work very well. It may have worked if my own magic wasn't trying to kick out the intrusion. Just don't worry about it. We're both home safe, and that's what's important. Besides…" Elsa carefully created her signature snowflake in her mostly healed hand and smiled as she held it out to her sister, "I can do this again. And it doesn't hurt anymore."

Idun, Kiara, and little Anikka had been simply watching the two sisters, but now all three of them stepped gingerly through the snow over to Elsa. Elsa quickly dissolved all the snow all over the room and gave her mother a lopsided smile. "Sorry I made such a mess," she apologized.

Idun shook her head and gently took Elsa's hand in hers; opened her mouth to say something; and then abruptly dropped Elsa's hand and left the room. _I'm sorry, Elsa. I didn't protect her and now she's the one with disfiguring scars on her hand. Elsa's other hand will be just as bad once it heals, too._ "Why Elsa?! She's suffered enough already!" she muttered under her breath.

Agdar caught his wife by the arm in the hallway. "What is going on now?" he asked. "What happened to Elsa this time?"

Idun's eyes were filled with tears as she looked up at Agdar. "Anna tried to heal Elsa with that crystal…Elsa's poor hand is still scarred badly from those burns," she said quietly. "And she can't even use the crystal to heal the rest of her because her own magic rejects it automatically…it's just…Agdar, it's _Elsa_. Why her?! She wasn't even upset about the way her hand looked until Anna said it looked awful. Then she was just afraid Anna wouldn't love her anymore because her hand looked bad…"

Agdar's face went deadly neutral. _Elsa's fine. She'll be fine. Won't she?_ "Is Elsa able to use her hand properly?" he asked. "That is the important thing."

"She can easily move her fingers and make a fist…she made her signature snowflake without any trouble, too," Idun replied.

"Then why on earth would any of you ignoramuses make Elsa feel self-conscious and tell her something like 'your hand looks awful'?!" Agdar demanded. "That girl is the farthest thing from vain; she isn't going to care about her scars unless we make her think she's supposed to. Also, I do believe someone was supposed to give her another dose of whatever that sedative medicine is. She needs to just sleep. Where is Elsa? I want to see her."

* * *

"Anna…I think all of us have forgotten something very simple," Elsa said, still simply staring at her hand. "We're being stupid. Rapunzel can fix me in seconds. We know my powers will accept hers…I'm assuming that's since she's family, I don't know. But whatever the reason, it's still true and we're being ridiculous." _Except that once something heals on its own, Rapunzel can't erase the scars. That's why she couldn't heal that tiny faint scar on my wrist from…that three years ago._

"Except we can't even get to Corona or bring Rapunzel here until spring," Anna pointed out regretfully.

"Actually," Kiara held out the electricity crystal Anna had brought back, "I think we can. I'll be back soon." Without waiting for a reply, she grinned and handed the ice crystal to Anna; then closed her eyes and disappeared in a bright flash. Kiara already knew easily how to use the electrokinetic crystal to its strongest potential since she had once had that power herself.

Anikka snuggled up next to Elsa and held her hand tightly. "Happy Elsa's hand better," she announced. "Marks not make Elsa ugly. Still pretty." Anikka curiously traced the scars all over Elsa's ordinarily pale hand and then smiled a moment later. "Snowflake!" she exclaimed. "Look, Elsa!"

Elsa shook her head and just gave the little girl a hug. _Anikka thinks there's a snowflake on my hand? I don't see any such thing, but...Anikka's comment still makes me happy._ "Thank you," Elsa said softly. She couldn't see any resemblance to a snowflake in her scars, but she just hugged Anikka tightly and didn't say anything else.

Elsa's kitten meowed loudly trying to get all three girls' attention. Elsa smiled as Kolfinnia nudged her hand, and she immediately picked the little cat up and held her close. "This is going to sound rather…vacuous, but-that means silly or inane," she added, noticing Anna's and Anikka's confused expressions, "but I really missed being able to pet Kolfinnia's soft fur when I couldn't use my hand at all." Elsa loved the feeling of something soft against her sensitive fingers. Even after the several months since the Great Thaw, she still somehow half-expected to find herself deprived of her sense of touch from wearing gloves for all those years since she was little. She smiled contentedly, remembering how Anna had practically dragged her around a few days after the Great Thaw, trying to convince her to touch as many different objects and textures as possible. Elsa had still been hesitant to touch things with her bare hands then; and she remembered mutely shaking her head when Anna had tried to get her to pet the cat and kittens two children had been trying to give away in the marketplace because she was frightened she might accidentally hurt them somehow. _I did play with the kittens with a string…I just wouldn't touch them. And I remember refusing to say anything in public unless I really, really had to because I stuttered so much…_

Anna frowned as her sister's expression fell. "Elsa, what are you thinking about? Does your ankle hurt bad?" she asked hesitantly.

Elsa shook her head and gave Anna a lopsided smile. "No…well, yes, my ankle does hurt, but it's not bad. I was just remembering how you dragged me around after the Great Thaw trying to get me to touch all different surfaces since…since I hadn't really had any sense of touch for so long," she said softly. "You helped the broken little girl inside me heal and feel better…I know I'm still a bit messed up inside and I don't deserve a little sister like you, but…but it still makes me happy." She paused for a moment before adding, "And thank you for not picking on me when I kept stuttering and couldn't talk right."

"You're a big fat stinker!" Anna informed her with a scowl. She wanted to just pick her big sister up and give her a hug, but she was afraid moving Elsa might aggravate her ankle, and Elsa was still holding her Christmas present kitten. "Elsa, you deserve far better than any of us could ever be for you," she added quietly. "I'm so, so grateful to have you here, but you shouldn't have come back. You…you just…I mean…you did _not_ have to do that…"

Elsa averted her gaze and just held her kitten close. _I had to come back, Anna. I had to. How could I have stayed in that wonderful paradise place when my little sister wasn't safe? Arendelle supposedly needed me. Not that I'm being much help right now…my family keeps being forced to help and take care of_ me _instead…what if Anna is hurt again and I can't fix it next time? It'd kill both of us. Literally._ She felt tears slowly trickling down her cheeks and subconsciously whimpered when she felt something reaching toward her. "Please d-don't hurt me," Elsa whispered.

"It's just that medicine, Elsa," Anna forced out; then gently made her sister swallow it before darting out of the room. _Elsa's still frightened. Why couldn't I withstand that crystal's power? Now I'm all right-ok, I feel really really awfully guilty-but my sweet big sister is the one who's still hurting because of it._

Elsa's blue eyes slowly flickered shut as the sedative took effect on her. _Why'd Anna…make me…take that? I didn't feel_ too _bad…I'm confused… Anna wasn't going…to hurt me…I know she wasn't…_

* * *

A minute later, Kiara appeared back in Elsa's room using the electrokinetic crystal with Rapunzel by her side. "You probably think we just want you around for those awesome healing powers of yours," Kiara said, only half-joking.

"Well, from what you said, that's not the case; you tried to help Elsa already without so called 'using' me for my powers," Rapunzel replied. "Anyways, I don't care; if Elsa needs help, she needs help. Besides, it'll be nice to see Elsa able to actually walk again, 'cause she couldn't when I was here before."

"Umhum." Kiara looked away at that comment. She might have kind of sort of potentially given the impression the trolls had been able to heal Elsa's legs completely from when she had hit Elsa with electricity. While Pabbie had been able to partly heal Elsa when Kiara had given up her electricity powers, Elsa definitely hadn't been completely back to the way she'd been before that whole incident.

Rapunzel tiptoed over to her cousin and gently laid one hand on Elsa's forehead and the other on her hand. _Kiara said Elsa had probably taken a sedative, so she won't wake up 'til after I heal her._ "Flower, gleam and glow…let your power shine…"

Rapunzel smiled as she continued her song; the dark bruise on Elsa's cheek was completely gone and the fresh burn scars on Elsa's free hand faded immediately. She knew it would take the whole song to heal the rest of her cousin's injuries, so she kept going even though Elsa began stirring awake.

The second she was finished, Elsa's eyes fluttered open. "Rapunzel?" Elsa asked in confusion. "When did you get here?" Then a happy smile spread across her face as she realized all the physical pain that had been bothering her recently was completely gone. Not an ache or sting remained from the burns or anything else. "You healed me," she said thankfully. Elsa slipped her left arm free from the sling and gave her cousin a grateful hug. _Rapunzel actually fixed me. I knew she could, but…but I didn't actually expect her to._

Elsa just sat quietly as Kiara and Anikka first freed her hand and then her ankle from the splints and bandages. She still wasn't entirely sure what to expect-would those burns still leave scars?-so she just assumed the worst and then was delighted when she found that her skin was back to its normal extremely fair coloring again on both hands, even the one that had already scarred so much. The only mark left was the old tiny pink line on her wrist from when she was eighteen, although even that looked fainter. That was it. _I think my hands might be ever so slightly a different shade, but certainly not enough that it's even remotely noticeable. And my ankle and my shoulder feel so much better!_ "Thank you, Rapunzel," she said quietly.

Rapunzel eagerly hugged Elsa so tightly she could hardly breathe. "I was more'n happy to, Elsa," she informed her. "C'mon, let's go find your parents and show 'em you're all better! Well, if you felt like it. Or didn't mind or whatever."

* * *

Elsa quickly stood up, feeling the strongest she had felt since falling ill before Christmas. She actually felt whole and healthy again. Only her braced left leg told her otherwise; and that didn't count to her since that was always going to be part of her no matter how the rest of her felt. _And now I'm 'back in the game' to defeat Jade and return all those power crystals to the trolls, too. It's February now…my goal is to fix all this by spring. That sounds reasonable._ Elsa walked over to the window and just gazed outside at the winter scene outside. _My element. Winter is my natural element. I can do this._

Elsa's musings were interrupted by her cousin's concerned voice. "Hey, Elsa, how come you limp like that?" Rapunzel asked. "That isn't even the ankle that Kiara said was hurt. Also you stand kinda funny. Like this…" she hopped up and copied Elsa's stance with most of her weight on her right leg.

"I…" Elsa dropped her gaze to the floor, knowing her cousin had no idea what was really wrong. _I should just show her…_ She revealed the awkward device supporting her weak left leg, keeping her eyes trained on the floor. "You can't fix it, Rapunzel," she said softly. "That's what's left from that whole incident when Kiara accidentally hurt me. Grand Pabbie managed to mostly heal me, but I can't stand or walk without wearing a brace. My leg doesn't hurt or anything; it's just weak and floppy and I don't have much control over it. So…that's all. That's why I limp when I walk."

There was a split second of silence for a moment, but then Rapunzel just gave her cousin a friendly smile and grabbed Elsa's hand. "I bet you haven't really tried to learn how to use that leg again without wearing that thing. You should at least try, Elsa," Rapunzel suggested. "I mean, if it didn't work, it wouldn't have hurt anything. Nobody's gonna make fun of you or hurt you if you tried and just fell or something."

Elsa pulled away roughly, her slender body trembling slightly as she instinctively backed away, falling into the comfy chair in the corner of her room. _Calm down, Elsa. That's Rapunzel. Not that Jade girl forcing Anna to hurt you again. Rapunzel isn't going to make fun of you or try to force you to stand up without the brace._

 _I physically can't stand up without it! I need it, I…_ "No," she whispered finally. "I _can't_ …" Elsa scrunched her eyes shut as she tried to keep her tears from running down her cheeks. Deep inside, she knew full well it would be perfectly fine to take her brace off and try to stand up on her own without it-sure, she would probably fall, but Rapunzel would catch her-but the still scared part of her never wanted to take it off again. Even if it was a bit uncomfortable and kept her from bending her leg. _I could always make a new one out of ice if I needed to now that my hands are better. Actually, I want to do that anyway. My ice feels more comfortable against my skin anyways._

Anikka climbed up on the frightened older girl's lap and just hugged her tightly. "Elsa safe. Elsa _know_ she safe," she said firmly. "Take brace off. Maybe better. Not hurt."

Rapunzel and Kiara just stood back, letting Elsa think about it on her own with Anikka's help without interfering. Rapunzel could easily tell that something had happened that made Elsa scared that something would hurt her if she couldn't stand up. Maybe someone had picked on her or made fun of her or something, she wasn't sure. But whatever it was had definitely hurt Elsa.

Elsa bit her lip and made a determined expression as she slowly unfastened her brace and dropped it on the floor. _I can always use my powers if I need to. I have all my defenses back again now,_ she reminded smiled ever so slightly when she felt Anikka give her hand a squeeze. "Rapunzel…I…I don't think I can do this…I need help," she said now.

Instantly Rapunzel was at her cousin's side, supporting her as she tried to stand up. "You can do it, Elsa," she said quietly so only Elsa could hear. "Don't be scared. I'm right here and I can pick you up entirely if I need to." She didn't react as Elsa immediately collapsed the second she was on her feet; she just caught her and supported her weight.

Elsa shook her head in defeat. "I _can't._ My leg doesn't work right. It's like it doesn't respond properly, on top of being too weak to hold me up," she said slowly. Elsa let out a surprised yelp as Rapunzel just picked her up without warning and put her down on her bed.

"'Kay, plan B now," Rapunzel announced. "Elsa, show me how you can move that leg without trying to put weight on it. Maybe that'll help. Can you point and flex your foot anyways?"

Elsa struggled to get her left foot to move as smoothly as her other one did, but it just plain didn't work. She could flex and point her left foot, but it was a very jerky motion and difficult for her to do. _I keep instinctively wanting to move my whole leg instead…_ "That's the best I can do," she said apologetically.

"Can you move your knee any better, maybe?" Rapunzel asked. She could easily see the way Elsa's foot immediately went completely limp and floppy the second she stopped concentrating hard on it. Rapunzel shook her head as Elsa simply pulled her knees to her chest instead of trying to move her bad leg on its own. "Not like that, you goof. Just the left one that doesn't work very well."

Elsa's blue eyes turned simultaneously sad and angry. "Rapunzel, do you understand? I _can't._ I'm never going to be able to walk on my own normally again. That's just the way it is. Wait…not 'normally'…this _is_ my normal now, and I'm going to be fine…" She carefully formed a new brace made of ice for her leg and quickly fastened it on as she gave her cousin a small smile. "Come on, Rapunzel, let's show Mama and Papa you healed me, okay?"

 **A/N: So Elsa's better now, thanks to Rapunzel.:) In my mind, Elsa would be able to use the healing crystal to help someone else, but she can't heal herself with it very well.**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**

 **P.S. I know I owe a few people PM's...I promise I'll reply soon.:)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing:)**

 **Cedricthesorcerer-Thank you!:)**

 **Mandy-Since I don't know when I'll update my one-shot series again, I'll reply to that review here.:) I'm glad you liked it! I like writing little Elsa when she's confident like that, but it's also really sad when you compare that little girl to twenty-one-year-old Elsa who's still scarred inside from all those years of feeling constantly terrified and hurt and all the emotional abuse, even if it wasn't intentional. It makes me want to just give her a hug.:/ I'm happy you liked little Elsa's costume choice! It just seemed like something Elsa would do...she has a funny sense of humor and I feel like she would think being the literal opposite of her real self was hilarious, even if no one realized it except herself. I wanted to point out that Elsa has _always_ 'put other people's needs before her own', even when she was little. After all, Olaf had to have gotten his definition of love from somewhere! It's little Elsa's subconscious definition.:) And yes, Anna had crazy ideas when she was little...as does her older self. XD**

 **mrs. perky-I'm glad you liked it!:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-It's still hard for Kiara to understand Elsa's train of thought because Kiara has mostly been around selfish people all her life (her own family...) Agreed-Elsa was asleep; she wouldn't even know someone was holding her. I suppose at least it's good that Idun wants to take care of Elsa now, though. Anna just needed to think through what she was doing a bit better. But she's safe, so everything's fine. Because Elsa's magic is so closely connected with her body/mind/emotions/etc, it "knows" to try to protect her. The trouble is that this is not always helpful.:P On top of that, Elsa is a very strong natural mage; her instincts regarding magic are very good and are actually weaker than they should be because she grew up suppressing her powers. [I promise I'll explain this later...it prob'ly sounds confusing right now, lol:P]**

 **Dragonheart35-That's a hilarious picture!XD Yep, only Rapunzel's magic can heal Elsa. Not the healing crystal and not Grand Pabbie. In my mind, it's simply because Rapunzel is family for Elsa.:) (And yeah, Idun and Rapunzel's mom Primrose look VERY similar! :P)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you! I thought it was about time for Elsa to be better, at least mostly.:)**

 **DodgersGirl-I owe you a PM and I'm sorry.:/ Well, I hope you feel completely better ASAP if it all possible.:) I feel bad for Elsa and she's a fictional character; I feel doubly bad if it's one of my online friends that's hurt. I hope it gets better even if you've been told it's permanent.:/**

 **On to the story!:)**

"Anna, what did you expect your sister to do?" Agdar asked, frowning. "You know Elsa the best out of your mother, myself, and yourself. Surely you aren't surprised she was scared when something reached toward her and she didn't see exactly what it was when she was already crying. That stupid girl is probably blaming herself for everything that happened to both of you. She's also almost completely helpless at the moment and she's in pain. Give Elsa a chance to get better."

Anna scowled. "Elsa is not either stupid! And Dad, you don't get it, do you? The frightened Elsa lying in bed in her room is not the same girl from before Christmas. I wouldn't expect you to understand, but she's hurting. Those awful marks on the outside are the least of Elsa's problems. I _know_ Elsa's hurting inside really bad…it's just…I don't know." Anna stalked over to a window in the library and just stared outside. _And it's my fault Elsa feels like that… 'I d-didn't want t-to ignore you.' I know you didn't, Elsa. It wasn't your fault one bit. 'A-Anna…please? I…I'm…I'm s-sorry…'_ Anna couldn't get that picture out of her head. Elsa crumpled on the ground holding her injured hands close against her chest. Elsa's desperate and hurt expression that begged for Anna not to hurt her. Elsa just crying and trying to apologize when her brace was taken away from her. _She was never the least bit angry at me, nor did she try to defend herself. She tried to when Jade hurt her, but not me…why would Elsa do that?!_

Idun hugged her younger daughter close. "Did you think that perhaps Elsa might not hurt inside so much once she's healed physically?" she asked quietly. "Anna, she feels vulnerable right now. Of course Elsa is frightened easily. I think she may just need a lot of reassurance, especially from you, that she's safe and loved."

"You still haven't explained exactly what happened, Anna," Agdar said. "That may explain why Elsa is acting like she is. Because there is no way she's acting like this just because she's injured. I don't believe that, not for a second."

Anna swiped a hand roughly across her eyes and glared at her father. "You really want to know? Jade shot Elsa with a tranquilizer thing and then Elsa woke up to her hands being burned with hot metal. I put Elsa in this itty bitty room that looks like a cage and took her brace away from her. Elsa didn't try to fight at all; she just cried and tried to apologize. I told her it was too late for sorry, among other things. A few minutes later, Elsa had calmed down and she tried to ask questions about what was going on; and Jade gagged her. Elsa tried to get the door open to where she was locked in and failed…and Jade bound her wrists to the bars. Jade brought Anikka back with her and tied her right outside where Elsa was. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but Elsa and Anikka somehow found a crystal that manipulated metal. Jade got really mad and tried to force Elsa to stand up, and of course Elsa couldn't because of her leg. I guess that's how she skinned her knees and got that cut on her forehead…I don't know…Anikka had gotten hold of this telekinesis crystal and Elsa was actually managing to defend herself a bit. But…I remember this awful terrible feeling of hate that wanted me to shoot Elsa, a-and…a-and I shot that arrow at her. Then everything went crazy and you found us and Elsa fixed me and…yeah…THERE'S PLENTY OF REASONS FOR ELSA TO BE ALL SCARED LIKE SHE IS! And it's not fair!"

"You're telling me my daughter was just shy of being outright _tortured_ because some loon wants her powers?!" Agdar exploded. _Although what did I expect Anna to tell me? Elsa certainly wasn't burned or shot like that by accident…_ "Elsa is the reigning monarch of this country for goodness sakes! She may be nothing but a barely grown up little thing, but she is perfectly capable to rule Arendelle!" He half-spotted a slender platinum-haired figure in the doorway and instinctively turned on her. "You get back to bed, you little-" Agdar paused when he realized there was something different. Elsa wasn't struggling to stand or holding an injured hand against her chest. She was just standing there in the doorway wearing her original ice-dress with a wide smile on her lightly freckled face. A very clearly _un_ scarred hand was held against the doorframe. "Elsa?" he asked hesitantly, as if he were unsure the girl was real.

"Rapunzel healed me," Elsa replied simply. Without waiting for an invitation, she walked over to her father as quickly as she could and gave him a hug. She immediately yelped in surprise when she was suddenly squeezed so tightly she could hardly breathe. _Papa must be happy to see me,_ she thought happily.

"Well, Anna, Elsa seems just fine to me," Agdar announced, looking at both of his daughters proudly. He frowned a moment later, but not in an angry way, at least not towards the two sisters anyways. "This still does not change the fact that someone basically tortured Elsa, and she's the absolute monarch of this country," Agdar said to Idun. To Elsa he said, "You should deal out the death sentence to that idiot."

Elsa dropped her gaze to the floor as her father turned his attention back to her. "Papa…I don't want to kill Jade. I just want to return all those crystals to the trolls and…a-and help Jade. She said her parents starved to death because you fired them after the accident. I think she's just bitter about it. All right, and she thinks Arendelle should be an empire-that's why she wants my powers." She limped over to the window and just stared outside. _There's just a hurting girl inside Jade. I know there is…I wish I could help…_

"It doesn't matter, Elsa," Agdar said firmly. "You need to stop being so forgiving and understanding when someone hurts or otherwise abuses you. There's a loving heart inside you far too big for your own good. I saw a skinny girl badly injured who _still_ just wanted to help. Elsa, you were going into shock when we brought you home. And on a different note, you need to gain some weight. You're too thin."

Idun quickly put a protective arm around Elsa's slender shoulders. "Agdar, you know Elsa is just naturally thin. And Anna too, for that matter. They eat plenty of food…and far too much chocolate. Leave the girls be. I'll not worry about such a thing unless they aren't eating." To Elsa she added, "Go sit on the sofa with your friends, sweetie. You deserve a bit of fun before you go back and concentrate on dealing with the Jade problem."

Elsa looked over at the other four girls sitting on the sofa and hesitated for a moment. She _did_ want to just escape from the whole crazy problem Jade had made and spend some free time with Anna, Rapunzel, Kiara, and Anikka; but she had a job to do. _I'm the second-oldest; I have to be responsible. Rapunzel may be a few weeks older, but she's still a princess. Her parents take care of Corona… No, I can't play. Rapunzel healed me and now I need to start dealing with the problem again and protect Arendelle._ "No, Mama," she said finally. "I'm the queen of Arendelle and I have to protect it to the best of my ability. Even when I might want to do something different." Elsa gave a quiet sigh as she limped out of the room.

* * *

Agdar frowned as he watched Elsa's uneven steps. "Elsa, why are you still limping?" he questioned. "Rapunzel healed the rest of you easily enough."

Elsa turned back in the doorway when she heard her father's question. "Rapunzel can't fix my leg, Papa," she said quietly. "I'm okay. I just still have to wear a brace for it, that's all." _But I'm going to try to re-learn how to stand up without it at least. That's possible, I think. I'm never going to be able to run properly again, period, with or without a brace; but I bet I could learn to stand up without it again._

"Your cousin healed those severe burns, that arrow wound, and a sprained ankle; she healed that crippled leg of yours, too," Agdar said with certainty. "Take that thing off, Elsa. You don't need it. You're just wearing it because you're still scared from what happened with that treasonous idiot in that cave."

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, trying to block out the awful events replaying in her mind. _Stop it, Elsa. Stop it right now. Papa doesn't realize the whole logic with different magic and what can reverse certain effects. I know he doesn't._ She sighed as she slowly opened her eyes and looked her father right in the face. "Papa, do you remember just _how_ I ended up with a messed up leg? Kiara shocked me by accident and Grand Pabbie ended up being able to partly heal my legs from being paralyzed. There is _no way_ to fix my leg back the way it was before all that happened. There just isn't. Pabbie can't fix it and even if he could, my own magic wouldn't let him."

Agdar abruptly strode over to his eldest daughter and just scooped her up before she could protest; then set her down in a chair. "Elsa, you take that brace off right now," he ordered. "What you just said has nothing to do with Rapunzel. I don't care what that old rock troll said. Rapunzel's healing abilities obviously work on you. Therefore your leg is better. I'll not have you go around limping like that any more."

"No, it isn't better," Elsa whispered. Snowflakes slowly floated around her as her blue eyes welled with tears. She tried in vain to push away the determined fingers unfastening the brace from her leg; sure, she could use force to get her daddy away from her, but she couldn't bring herself to do so, especially since he wasn't hurting her. "Papa, _please_ leave it alone," she begged. "I tried to stand up without it already, and it didn't work. I just can't…" _Why won't he listen? I really did try, and it didn't work! I'd think it was extremely lucky if I_ ever _learned to stand up on my own again, and that's after a lot of time and a lot of practice. Maybe._

Anna jumped to her feet and shouted, "Dad, you leave my sweet big sister alone! Elsa's telling the truth! She's prob'ly still scared, yeah, but I know she's telling the truth. I just know it!" Anna struggled to get away from her mother as Idun held her back from running over to Elsa. "Mom, stop it! Can't you see Dad's scaring her and making her upset? It's my fault she's frightened of not having that stupid brace at all times, but she's telling the truth! I know she is!"

"Don't you want Elsa to be back to normal?!" Agdar demanded. "She can't walk right, for goodness sakes! And it's only because she's scared of absolutely nothing."

"Well, sure, Dad, but you're _scaring_ her! Look at Elsa!" Anna shot back. "She's crying, and-"

Elsa put her hands over her ears to block out all the shouting and curled into a ball right there in the chair. She hated hearing her family fighting just because of her. Because she wasn't "normal". This didn't even have anything to do with her powers, either. It was just because of her crippled leg. _This is absolutely ridiculous. I can walk…okay, limp…fairly easily as long as I'm wearing my brace. Why are they making such a fuss about it?_

 _Even Anna implied you aren't normal like you are, Elsa. She wants your stupid leg completely healed, too…well, of course she does. I do, too. It's just impossible, and I know that. I think I've accepted that, but my family hasn't. They're still hoping._ Tears trickled down Elsa's pale cheeks as she tried to make herself as small as possible. She just wanted to disappear. Now she had family troubles to fix on top of the Jade issue. _I have to snap out of it. Rapunzel fixed me, and I'm grateful for that. I need to come up with a plan to take apart Jade's horrid plans, whatever exactly they might be._

* * *

Anikka slid off the sofa and tiptoed over to the blue sparkling heap curled up in that chair, ignoring all the noise in the library. She poked one of Elsa's hands hesitantly, hoping Elsa would respond. "Elsa? Anik- _I_ like Elsa like Elsa is," she said firmly.

The older girl chanced a tiny glance at who or what was poking her and immediately sat up and pulled Anikka onto her lap when she saw who it was; although tears still streaked her cheeks. "Did…did y-you say something?" Elsa asked slowly, holding Anikka close.

"I like Elsa like Elsa is," Anikka repeated. "Elsa brave. Elsa love ev'ryone. Hurt leg not matter. I 'member see Elsa first time…Elsa walk better then. But Elsa more happy now. Still same Elsa here." She put her hand over the older girl's heart and smiled at her. Anikka knew the what's-on-the-inside thing and where her heart was from Elsa herself, and she was happy to be able to show Elsa where _her_ heart was, too.

Elsa smiled a tiny bit, surprised that the little girl actually remembered her clearly enough from last summer to point out that her leg hadn't been hurt then. _Anikka is right. I'm still the same Elsa. Why is it that a five-year-old can see that and Papa can't? I guess it doesn't matter. I just wish Papa would stop trying to change, well…me. I'm always going to be a little broken in one way or another._

 _You are not broken, Elsa._

 _Well, maybe not broken, but obviously cracked. I'm never going to be carefree and optimistic like Anna. What I am glad about is that Anna isn't like me. That's good._

Anikka reached up and touched Elsa's platinum braid curiously, much as she had done the first time she had met Elsa the summer before. "Elsa be mommy?" Anikka asked hopefully. "Timothy like you too. Anikka know he would."

Elsa barely noticed the sudden complete silence in the library. She just bit her lip as she clutched the little girl in her arms tightly. _What do I tell her? Not only would I cause a political ruckus by adopting Anikka, I'm just…just…stupid. I know I can be a friend to Anikka, but not a mother. I don't know how! What if I hurt her accidentally inside like my parents did to me? Anikka already lost her brother…_ "Anikka, I…I love you, but…but I don'tknowhowtobeamother," Elsa finally blurted.

"Elsa learn then," Anikka replied instantly. She looked up admiringly at Elsa, waiting for her response.

"You…y-you don't want me for a mother…Anikka, I can't even walk right, I…I…I'm messed up inside, too," Elsa said softly, hoping painting herself in a negative light might make Anikka not want to be around her so much anymore. Elsa actually wanted to adopt the little girl very much; she just honestly thought she was neither old enough nor good enough to be a mother to a child. The political repercussions could be avoided by simply personally signing a document that made Anikka officially the queen's daughter, but that she would not inherit the throne-Anna's child would instead. Anikka would just be permanently a princess. That was Elsa's logic anyways.

Anikka thought for a moment, then said, "Elsa not think other mommies is cr-cri-"

Elsa glanced at her bad leg, instantly knowing what word Anikka was struggling with. "Crippled," she said flatly.

Anikka smiled happily and nodded. "Uh-huh! Elsa not think other mommies is crippled?" she asked. "That silly! Why not?" She looked at Elsa's leg and then back at Elsa's concerned face. "Not matter," Anikka announced, pointing at Elsa's leg.

Elsa hugged the little girl close and gave her a kiss right on top of her head. _Anikka has no prejudices against differences between people. I wish everyone were like that._

"Elsa not 'messed up inside' neither." Anikka's brown eyes gazed up attentively at Elsa as she put her hand over Elsa's heart again. "Perfect inside. Elsa snow prin-cess but love co-cam-com-mon-ers like Anikka."

Elsa just bit her lip, not knowing what to say. In Elsa's mind, she was nothing but a young girl who simply had authority because of her birthright. She was just as much a commoner as Anikka was, or Anikka was just as much a princess (okay, technically queen) as she was. And she certainly wasn't 'perfect inside' because she was the ruler of Arendelle and loved her people. Wasn't that what she was _supposed_ to do? Elsa knew many monarchs in her position probably considered themselves to be better than their subjects, but that was wrong. _In fact, who says I or Anna or my parents should be in charge anyway? Tradition? I mean…maybe someone like, say, Gerda should be in charge. She's not 'just a castle servant'. She's like a mother to me…she took care of me all those years when I was locked in my room. Why should she have to refer to someone who's about a third of her age with a title? That's stupid…_

Elsa was struck by a sudden horrible thought, and she glanced up at her father, still clutching the five-year-old girl in her arms. "Papa, I _have_ to go do something. I need my brace back, please," she said urgently. _I know I wasn't the only child in Arendelle that wasn't treated properly when she-or he-was little. There are probably abused children in my country right under my nose, and I'm going to find them. No one could fix my situation, but I can fix it so that sort of thing doesn't happen to anyone else._

* * *

"Elsa, at least _try_ to stand up without it," Idun said now. "Perhaps your father is right-you can walk just fine and you're just scared you can't." She quickly walked over to Elsa, took her by the hands, and looked her straight in the eyes. "I won't let you fall, sweetie. I promise." _I don't know whether Elsa's leg is healed or not, but she needs to try. At least she'll know one way or the other._

Elsa tilted her head to one side, considering her mother's words. _I do trust Mama to not let me fall. I can try again, even though I know it won't work. At least I'll prove to Papa I'm telling the truth…_ She let Anikka climb out of the chair and then let her mother attempt to pull her to her feet. _I'm going to try really, really hard this time. By all logic, I should be able to stand up if I put all my weight on my good leg. Come on, Elsa, you can do it._ Elsa's weak left leg immediately collapsed under her, and she had a brief moment of panic before she felt her mother's arms holding her tightly. _I'm okay. I'm not stuck in that cave with Jade trying to force me to stand up again. Mama's holding me._

Idun frowned as she felt Elsa abruptly grow cold in her arms and struggle to stop shaking. _I can't make Elsa try this anymore. She's scared half to death. This isn't worth it. I'd rather Elsa be calm and happy even if she's wearing her brace than try to make her stand normally and have her terrified._ "Elsa, I can't make you try this any more," she said quietly as she scooped Elsa up and just set her back down in the chair she'd been sitting in with Anikka. "I know you'll try when you're ready." Idun gave her daughter a kiss right on top of her head and turned to leave, but Elsa caught her by the arm.

"Mama, I'm ready now," Elsa whispered. She was still shaking a bit, but deep inside she knew there was nothing to be frightened of. The worst that could happen was that she would fall on the floor and look silly. No one in the library was going to pick on her for that. _I'll not let myself not try something just because I'm…scared. I don't think I can stand up right now, but I can at least try._

Rapunzel suddenly jumped to her feet, nearly bouncing with excitement. "Hey, Elsa, I got an idea! Put an ice thingie on your bad leg that just supports your ankle, not that _and_ your knee. That might help! I don't wanna be the party pooper, but I know you can't stand up like you are. At least not yet. Just try it, Elsa! If it doesn't work, it's not like it hurt anything." _Elsa might even be able to run eventually, even if it's still a bit awkward…_

"Don't tell her that, Rapunzel! That's encouraging her to give in to her fears." Agdar scowled as he watched Elsa, who had immediately followed her cousin's advice and was now trying her best to stand up as she held her mother's hands tightly.

"Uncle Agdar, that's not true," Rapunzel said firmly. "Elsa tried to stand up on her own without that brace already, and she can't. I saw her. She tried to tell you, but you were being all stubborn and wouldn't listen. Because you want Elsa to be 'normal', and you evidently think half-crippled legs aren't normal."

Agdar went red. "Was Elsa born like that? No, she was not. She already had those innate…special abilities of hers; she doesn't need anything else to make her…different. A target. Do you think that treasonous Jade person would have captured my daughter if she wasn't different? Didn't stand out so much? Elsa's powers made her a target for someone to downright _torture_ her! Perhaps that term is too harsh, but still. You saw the condition Elsa was in before you healed her. What if we hadn't been able to bring you here? Elsa would have been helpless and in pain for weeks, and it's possible she would never have healed entirely." Agdar felt a hot burning sensation behind his eyes as he forced himself not to cry. His sweet, selfless little girl was never going to _not_ be a target for people hurting her, whether it was on purpose like Jade had done or mostly unknowingly like he himself had done to her when she was younger.

"Papa?" Elsa asked now. "I…I'm standing," she said softly. Elsa still clutched her mother's hands tightly and she could feel her weak leg complaining at her that she was trying to do too much with it; but she was standing all the same. And then she felt herself losing her balance a second later as she collapsed and tumbled into her mother's arms. _I'm so stupid…why did I think this would work? Elsa, there's something you need to do in Arendelle outside the castle. Put your old brace on and go do what you need to do._

Agdar frowned as he watched Elsa. "Idun, make her sit. Don't drop her," he ordered.

Idun just gave Elsa reassuring smile when the girl looked up at her with questioning eyes. "Your daddy just doesn't want you to fall, sweetie," she said quietly. "Try again later, that's all."

Anna ran over to her sister and just squeezed her close. "I bet we can help you learn how to stand up without a brace at all, sis. But it's completely okay if you never can, 'cause you're still just plain Elsa. My big sister." She frowned when Elsa suddenly jerked away. "What's wrong?" _Is Elsa scared of being touched again? That can't be it…_

Elsa's blue eyes were wide in fright and worry as she hesitantly reached a finger where Anna's heart should be. "Anna…I…I d-don't know what or how I know this or what happened, but…but…there's something wrong inside you magic-wise," she said slowly. _Maybe I messed up when I tried to freeze Anna's heart to heal her back in the cave? That's entirely possible since I definitely wasn't completely conscious or able to use my ice properly…_ Elsa could sense there was something wrong inside Anna, but she didn't understand why it had taken until now for her to realize it. Whatever it was wasn't just her own ice magic. That she knew for certain. Something made her absolutely positive that she couldn't just fix it herself, either. _What am I supposed to do?_

* * *

"You stinking _idiot_!" Jade shouted angrily. "How could you let them just run off like that, Prince Hans?! In case you've forgotten, Anna and her stupid father don't have powers like Elsa does. You could have captured them and Elsa would probably just come after them, just like she did for Anna the first time. Now they're _all_ on the loose and Anna probably healed Elsa with that crystal, at least partly. And you let them run off with power crystals! If Anna took that one I found, we're in trouble…" Jade continued ranting as she searched for the crystal she wanted. This particular power crystal she had hidden in a small compartment under a rock under all the other crystals. _Good. It's still here. I can't use this unless I need it, though. Elsa and Anna know about several of them now, but not all of them. And they can't possibly know about this one. I wonder if this could actually be used to fight against Elsa directly…_

Hans scowled as he sauntered over to Jade. "You have a whole pile of them. What does it matter if Anna took a few? And I'll bet the healing crystal doesn't work on Elsa anyhow. The trolls you stole the crystals from couldn't heal her crippled leg, you know. I know because Kiara told me, and-" Hans glared angrily at Jade when she turned and stared him in the face. "What are you mad at me for? It's the truth!"

Jade didn't answer. "Kiara is your sister, isn't she? I assume you'd like to keep her, so I suggest you shut your mouth and listen to me. Something is telling me you're more trouble than you're worth." She bit her lip when her new helper turned and picked up the black and white photograph sitting on a rock shelf.

 _She_ will _hurt Kiara if she thinks doing so will help her plan. Kiara might be a bratty little pest, but I certainly do not want her dead. I bet this is Jade's family. Perhaps her parents?_ "I am sorry about your parents," Hans said in his best sympathetic tone.

Jade's expression contorted as she grabbed the photograph back and set it down where it belonged. Then she tossed the valuable power crystal she was holding aside and slammed Hans against the wall without warning. "Don't you _dare_ speak of my parents again," she growled in low, angry tones. "And _don't_ touch that picture!"

Hans rolled his eyes and shoved Jade aside. Without using a crystal, Jade wasn't much of a threat. "I thought you might want a bit of sympathy," he said charmingly. He blocked an angry but ill-aimed punch from Jade and just tossed her to the ground.

"Well, I don't. And if I did, certainly not from you! I don't need sympathy!" Jade put her hand to her stinging forehead where she'd hit it on the rocky ground. _I did that exact same thing to Elsa. It hurts, too…why wasn't she angry with me?_ Jade jumped to her feet before Hans could do anything else to her and just stared him in the face, ignoring the bleeding cut on her forehead. "Go get Princess Kiara of the Southern Isles," she ordered. "Immediately." She grabbed the fire crystal from the pile and held it tightly in her fist. "Before I burn you where you stand. Get out of here. Rolf!" she yelled. "Go with him. I'll expect you back before midnight."

The second Rolf and Hans were gone, Jade took the photograph from the shelf and clutched it to her chest as she sank to the ground and just cried. Nothing, absolutely _nothing_ was going right. All of her hostages had escaped, and…and…was she really doing the right things? That former King Agdar had been the reason her parents were dead. She wanted him dead, too. She disliked Elsa simply because of where she came from. And those innate ice powers of hers were maddening. Why didn't she get to have them? Why had Elsa's father virtually kept her in a gilded cage all her life? The girl was the queen; she could form tiny Arendelle into the empire of the century. Jade _knew_ she could. _An Arendellian empire is a good thing. I know it is! Why can't Elsa see that? I need her powers. And yet…what Hans just did to me hurt, and I provoked him into that. I hurt Elsa, and her response was trying to offer to help money-wise or something. But she can't help. I need her powers and get rid of her father._ "Espen, go away," she muttered when she felt her younger brother nudging her shoulder.

"Jade, carrying out this plan of yours-or rather, attempting to-isn't making you happier," Espen pointed out. "All you're doing is hurting a bunch of people, including yourself. I do think 'Empire Arendelle' is a great idea, but it's not worth hurting and killing people. We're Arendellian citizens, not Arendellian royalty. That's Queen Elsa's decision, not ours."

Jade slapped her brother's hand away when he tried to take care of her bleeding forehead. "Just get lost and leave me alone, all right?! I can take care of the stupid cut myself. It doesn't matter anyway." She paused for a moment as she got to her feet and set the photograph back in place. "And besides, do you realize just how young Elsa is? She's-"

"She's twenty-one, not even three years younger than you are, Jade," Espen interrupted. "You don't turn twenty-four for another month."

Jade scoffed at that as she tended to the cut on her forehead. "Well, she barely looks sixteen to me. A little girl. Although I do admit, she's not stupid. It's just…just…"

Espen thought for a moment before saying, "You think you would do a better job as ruler than Queen Elsa does, if only you had her abilities. You think the only reason she's maintained control and relative peace is because people either admire or are intimidated by the simple fact that she wields ice with her bare hands."

"Espen, just think for a second here. Picture Elsa without her innate ice magic. Picture her exactly as she is, except that she doesn't have ice powers anymore. What would be your impression of her?" Jade asked.

"Well…probably just a harmless, _very_ unthreatening young girl. But they're _hers_ , Jade!" Espen exclaimed. "You can't just steal something that's physically part of her away from her. You just can't. It's-"

"Oh, shut up. I don't seem to remember Elsa wearing that leg brace last summer when she made that speech thing in the courtyard. Doesn't seem like a temporary injury, either. That means there's a way to permanently neutralize her somehow. Then we can figure out how to get her powers from her. I don't care what happens to her after that." Jade scowled as something niggled at her that there was something wrong with that plan. _Could I really permanently hurt her like that? What if it didn't even work? Then I'd have hurt Elsa for no reason at all…_

Espen glared at Jade. "What is it you want? To leave a young girl a permanent invalid or something just so you _might_ be able to take her powers away from her? That's stupid and ridiculous, Jade! I _saw_ what you did to Queen Elsa. I saw it. And Princess Anna, for that matter. I've thought about it a lot, and I don't care what noble aspirations you've got for Arendelle-doing what you did was wrong. You broke someone inside. We don't know what happened to those sisters when they were little, but I'm fairly certain Elsa wasn't treated well when she was younger, if not Anna too."

"How would you know such a thing?" Jade spat. "You probably just have a crush on one of 'em, I bet."

Espen scowled because that was definitely not the case, but he decided to ignore that accusation at the moment. "I know such a thing because yes, you physically hurt the queen, but she wasn't just in physical pain. When I tried to take care of her hands, she barely reacted to those burns. She was just terrified and…and…Jade, you could just tell by looking at her. You don't get it. I think Queen Elsa's got emotional problems or something. It was her eyes, Jade."

Jade sighed heavily and looked at her brother in disgust. "Ah yes, Elsa's charming icy blue orbs. Espen, you sound like a complete nitwit, just so you know. You're sixteen. Way too young for Elsa anyway!"

"No, Jade, that's _not_ what I'm talking about! She's an absolute monarch-she had full reason to be really angry with us. Those eyes of hers told another story, even when she was trying to appear calm and unemotional. She looked hurt, Jade, and I don't mean on the outside," Espen explained, questioning whether he was doing any good by telling his sister these things or not. "How do you think she felt when her own sister literally shot her? You could have hurt her physically all you wanted and it wouldn't have affected her nearly as much as the princess putting her in that cage-room thing."

"Just shut up, Espen. You sound like you're on their side," Jade spat.

"What if I was?"

 _Well, it doesn't matter. It's a matter of time before Elsa and Anna are forced to either turn away from each other or hurt each other. It just depends on how soon those effects start showing up. I know what's going to happen…_

 _ **A/N:**_ **Well, Elsa wants to adopt Anikka, but she thinks she isn't capable of taking care of a child properly. And there's something wrong with Anna that's taken awhile to show itself.**

 **By the way, I'm saying right now do NOT get any ideas to pair Elsa and Espen together. He's too young and he genuinely is just concerned, not romantically interested in her. Well, he might like her a _little_ bit, but all the same, no romance for Elsa. Period. I don't like it. :P**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **Cedricthesorcerer-Thank you!:)**

 **Mandy-Agdar is being stubborn...he knows nothing about how magic works and so he assumes that since Rapunzel healed all Elsa's other injuries, Elsa's leg is all better too.:P Well, there's a catch to what's wrong with Anna now, which is revealed in this chapter. (It's not exactly the same thing as before.:)) Again, I think you'll know why Elsa can sense there's something wrong with Anna by the end of this chapter.:P There isn't exactly a law that says Elsa can't keep Anikka...it's just Anikka could never inherit Arendelle's throne. Also, Elsa is concerned that since she has no suitors and doesn't want any, people will think she's just trying to twist things so she has an heir of her own anyway. It's a 'political ruckus' thing, not a law, per se. (If it was a law, Elsa could just change it, lol. ;)) Of course there will be a cure for Anna! Eventually.:) I don't think Elsa could take it again either...it had a bad effect on her enough the first time. She _knows_ it wasn't really Anna, but it still hurt her inside.:/ Well, I guess this chapter answers your question!:) Honestly, part of my updating schedule depends on how far ahead I've written. Right now I have a LOT written, so I still have story to post even if I don't have much time to write this week.:) Elsa met Rapunzel for the first time at the coronation (Secret Passages), but I like the boat ride idea. :)**

 **Elsa Tomago-I think it's been well-established that Agdar is stubborn in his thought processes and is completely ignorant on certain things. (like how to take care of someone like Elsa:/) And Idun too, but to a lesser extent. To be fair, they both just don't want to accept that Elsa is permanently hurt and there isn't a way to heal her leg. Anna, Anikka, and Rapunzel are kind of just, you know, BEING LOGICAL...*ahem* It's a sensible conclusion that Elsa is still Elsa no matter what, that she's not going to randomly be healed when she just tried to stand up without her brace earlier the SAME DAY...etc :P Well, I'm not going to kill off Agdar and Idun, but keep in mind where they'll be going once spring comes.:) (Remember Elsa ceded Weselton to her parents back in Mind Games?:))**

 **jonpatgillespie-I was saying that in case someone got any ideas.:P I'm very glad you don't want Elsa and Espen together. I do NOT like Elsa paired with anyone.:P**

 **DodgersGirl-I think Anikka is cute too, lol.:) I sent you a PM finally, BTW.:) Well, that's good. I hope they go away entirely all the same.:)**

 **Gold17-Elsa just doesn't see herself that way...and she's afraid she might hurt Anikka like Elsa's own parents did to her when she was younger. I personally think Elsa would make a wonderful mother, like you said; although she's going to need help taking care of a child. She still needs someone to take care of her own self, too, like when she gets upset. You should have an idea on what's wrong with Anna by the end of this chapter.:)**

 **On to the story!:)**

After dinner in the castle that evening, Elsa retreated to her room while Rapunzel, Anikka, and Kiara went out to the castle gardens. Anna stayed with Elsa, thinking that her big sister still needed someone with her, at least most of the time. Anna frowned as she watched her sister sit awkwardly in the window seat holding that kitten, obviously deep in thought. Elsa kept touching the brace on her leg every so often, as if to reassure herself it was still there. "Elsa…you're safe now," Anna said softly. "I…I'm sorry I hurt you so much like that…"

Elsa let Kolfinnia jump down off her lap and simply scooted over so there was room in the window seat for her little sister too. "It was _not_ your fault, Anna," she said firmly. Elsa paused for a moment, keeping her gaze focused on the floor. She felt Anna put one arm around her, and a single tear ran down her cheek. "Anna…what if…what if I c-can't fix this?" Elsa whispered. _There would be so many people in danger. And…and I feel like I'd be less likely to run into trouble trying to fix things if I could just stand and walk properly. I think that's making me vulnerable. And there's something wrong with Anna. I know there is. What if I can't help her?_

"You can fix everything, sis, I know you can," Anna replied instantly as she simply hugged her big sister tightly and just let her cry. _Elsa thinks she's incapable of fixing everything just because she can't stand or walk properly by herself. I understand, but…that's not true! She just needs a bit of help._ Anna yelped as Elsa's little kitten's sharp claws dug into her leg. "Kolfinnia, you climb on Elsa's lap instead," she scolded. "You don't scratch her!"

 _You cry too much, Elsa. Way, way too much._ Elsa smiled a bit as she brushed the tears off her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Anna. Kolfinnia probably couldn't jump onto your lap very easily and she missed. I'll hold her." Elsa took the kitten in her arms and just held it close. Kolfinnia blinked in annoyance at her and meowed, but she didn't try to jump down. Elsa giggled as the little cat's whiskers tickled her chin. "Anna, thank you for giving me Kolfinnia back at Christmas," she said softly. "She makes me happy." _Kolfinnia even sat with me for awhile when I couldn't even pet her because of those awful burns…_ Elsa hesitantly looked back at her sister, her big blue eyes revealing the hurt still lingering inside her. "She doesn't mind m-me, and she's not…scared of me, either…I was so scared animals wouldn't l-let…me near them because I'm just…just…"

"Just what?" Anna asked gently. _I shouldn't tell Elsa what I'm thinking…I'll probably just make everything worse for her…but…but she needs to know. I know she does._ She frowned as she watched Elsa look from her braced leg to her hands and back again; then slowly hug Kolfinnia before setting her down and then simply limp a few feet away and close her eyes. "Elsa…what are you doing?" Anna asked in concern.

"I have to try," was all Elsa said aloud. _One thing Papa was right on is that my leg does make me even more of a target than I would be anyways. I have to try. I have to._ Elsa deliberately dissolved the ice bracing her leg in one quick motion and opened her eyes for about half a second before falling hard to the floor. _See? You can't do it, Elsa. You're never going to be able to._ The memory of Anna taking her brace away from her while they'd been in the cave replayed in Elsa's mind, and she hid her face in her hands as she just curled into a ball. "I'm sorry, Anna…I didn't mean to," she whimpered almost inaudibly.

The second Anna had realized what Elsa had been trying to do, she ran over to her sister; but she hadn't been able to catch Elsa before she fell. Anna pulled the trembling heap on the floor close and just held her sister tightly, ignoring the snowflakes falling around Elsa. "It's all right, Elsa. I know you didn't," she assured Elsa, still holding her close. _Please don't cry any more, Elsa. Please. I hate seeing Elsa like this. Mom thought Elsa was going to be all better inside once she was healed physically, but she's not. I know Elsa's right-that I couldn't help what Jade did to me-but I also know Elsa wouldn't be like this if it had been Jade verbally abusing her instead of me. I know she wouldn't. Elsa knows deep inside I really do love her and care about her, but she's still hurting simply because she heard those rotten mean things coming from me. I know that's what it is._

"Please…fix me…Anna, I'm sorry…I m-mess things up…" Elsa's sad voice made Anna want to cry herself. _She sounds so little…I wish I could help her. Elsa doesn't need fixing, although I think she meant she wanted someone to fix her inside. That_ does _need fixing. She's traumatized and hurting really bad…well, not fixing. That's the wrong word. Elsa needs someone to heal her emotionally like Rapunzel did for her physically._ Anna simply hugged her shaking sister tightly and refused to let go. "I know it isn't much, but I love you, Elsa. I love you lots and lots and I'm going to try to keep you safe," she said firmly.

 _Why? Why would Anna do that? I didn't manage to keep_ her _safe…_ Elsa suddenly jerked away from Anna, her slender body still shaking all over as she stared in confusion and fright at her little sister. "I'm…c-cold," she managed to say. _No…_ Anna _felt cold to me. I sensed cold. Not the pleasant kind of cold, either._

Anna immediately grabbed the comforter off Elsa's bed and wrapped it around her big sister before holding her securely again and picking her up. "Come on, Elsa, let's just put you to bed and warm you up then. Are you sick, maybe?" _She better not be sick again…_

Elsa let Anna wrap another blanket around her and put her to bed; but then she abruptly sat up when a bad suspicion struck her, and she began wiggling out of her cocoon of blankets, staring in concern at Anna. "Anna, I'm not sure what's going on, but I do know I'm not sick. Help me up, please. I need to go outside. Now. Something's wrong. Something's badly wrong. _You_ made me feel cold. Either Jade did something to you or I did it when I tried to heal you, I don't know…" Elsa shivered, suddenly realizing her ice-dress felt…off to her sensitive skin now. As a test, she tried to make her signature snowflake in one hand. She could do that easily, but when she tried to hold the ice snowflake she had just made, it felt cold in her hand. Not painfully or excessively so, but cold all the same. _What is going on?! I can use my powers, but I'm not completely immune to cold anymore? What happened? I know I can't lose my powers. Okay. That's not it. I know I'm sensitive to heat, but that isn't helpful information…I wonder if I can still detect exact temperatures…_ Elsa's mind raced as she grabbed the bedpost and pulled herself to her feet. Without consciously thinking about it, Elsa was able to simply put all her weight on her good leg and ignore her messed up one. In one clumsy movement, she nearly fell to the window seat and ended up sprawled on the floor. "I need to open the window, Anna…"

* * *

Anna scooped Elsa up and set her in the window seat before opening the window, noticing with a sickening feeling that Elsa had flinched or shivered at her touch. And Elsa was noticeably not scared anymore; she just looked determined and worried, so it wasn't because she was scared of being touched. _And I knew Elsa could stand up on her own! All right, she did just stand up on her good leg, but all the same, I knew she could do it!_

"Thirty-one degrees," Elsa said almost instantly as she stuck one hand outside. For the first time in her life, Elsa saw actual goosebumps forming on her pale skin, which was unnerving to her even though it didn't hurt. "Anna, you can't touch me until we figure out what's wrong. I promise I'm not mad at you or scared of you, but we can't risk losing our main defense mechanism. We _need_ my powers. I still need your help, though, okay?"

Anna was taken aback at Elsa's firm decision, and she frowned and stepped backwards at Elsa's words. "You care more about keeping your powers than me?" she heard herself say.

"What?! Of course not, Anna! I'd lose my powers a hundred times over than lose you," Elsa said sincerely, looking her sister right in the eyes. "It's Arendelle, Anna. I cannot defend our country without my powers, and we don't have an army or navy, not that that would be much help against magic anyways. Anna?" Elsa flinched for an unexplainable reason when Anna stepped back toward her. _…should have made me heir apparent instead of you…it's too late for sorry…defective…_ Elsa slipped to the floor as the awful comments villainized-Anna had told her flooded through her mind again.

 _She just flinched. Why did she do that?! I didn't do anything._ A little voice inside Anna informed her that if Elsa was going to act like that, then she may as well give her a reason to do so. "You're not just the queen of Arendelle, Elsa. You're my sister!" _This is wrong. This is like the cave all over again._

 _No it isn't._

 _Yes, it IS!_ Anna scowled. Somehow she knew that this was something she could fight against, unlike what Jade had done to her before. Perhaps because part of Elsa's magic was inside her? Anna felt like her big sister's innate abilities were pure and didn't _mean_ to hurt anything; they were just inherently dangerous if Elsa wasn't controlling them a hundred percent. _And of course Elsa couldn't control and/or direct her powers completely when she was injured like that. That makes sense._ When Jade used those crystals, they _meant_ to hurt. Maybe that was why she could fight this. Because it was both. _This isn't like the cave all over again. I know it isn't. Elsa is right. Something's wrong inside me magic-wise, and we can't risk it harming Elsa's powers. We'll just have to fix it. Also I bet those crystals are really just neutral; they're either hurtful or pure depending on who's using them._ Glancing around the room quickly, Anna grabbed the comforter from Elsa's bed again and put it around her sister's shoulders so she could hug her without actually touching her. "C'mon, Elsa, snap out of it," Anna said softly. "You said you needed to go outside, remember? Here's your old brace, sis. Put it on instead of making a new ice one…do you want a regular old dress rather than what you're wearing?"

Elsa roughly swiped her hand across her eyes and nodded, trying to get herself to think clearly again. _Elsa, get outside. Quickly. My friends are out there, and something's wrong._ "That winter outfit you got for me at Oaken's when I felt so cold on your birthday when I got sick, please," Elsa said quietly.

* * *

"Um…guys? I think we'd better go inside," Rapunzel said warily. She and Anikka and Kiara had been playing and just walking around in the castle gardens, but it had been dark for quite a while, and Rapunzel was fairly certain she had heard suspicious noises more than once. With only one lantern, the girls couldn't see very well. _It's probably just animals or something, but…still, just to be safe, we should probably go._

"Aw, we have the electricity crystal in case something did happen," Kiara pointed out, not particularly wanting to go back inside, although she did think it was getting cold.

Natural snow crunched under the girls' feet as they slowly began heading back toward the castle. Rapunzel decided she would start steering the two younger girls in the castle doors' general direction, but she wouldn't fuss at them. After all, she really hadn't seen anything, and the noises she had heard were likely animals, like opossums or foxes or something.

Anikka dropped the stick she had been using to draw designs in the snow and jumped to her feet when she saw something shining in a tree. _Not stars. Eyes._ "Kiara…'Punzie…eyes," she announced, pointing at the things shining in the tree.

Rapunzel had just enough time to glance at what the little girl was pointing at before a strange whistling sound cut the night silence. On instinct, Rapunzel tackled Anikka and dropped flat on her stomach as she yelled "Drop!" to Kiara. _What on earth is going on?! I thought those crazy people were after Elsa anyways! What would they want with us?_ The lantern had gone out, leaving the three girls in the dark. Groping for another match with shaking fingers, Rapunzel managed to relight the lamp and swept the area with the dim light, trying to see what and who had shot whatever had made that noise. "Whoever you are, we're armed!" she shouted.

No answer other than suspicious rustling and scraping.

Rapunzel winced when she noticed Kiara lying unconscious on her back a few feet away. _Something hit her, but what? And Kiara has the electricity crystal. What are we supposed to do? And I don't have a frying pan, else I would whack whoever's after us in the head._

"Don't move or I'll shoot," Rapunzel heard a somewhat familiar voice say. She shielded Anikka with her own body as she slowly turned her head. "Prince Hans?!" Rapunzel stayed stock still in shock as a second figure that she didn't recognize picked up a limp Kiara.

"What the heck do you two think you are doing in my garden?!" an icily authoritative voice demanded a second later.

Rapunzel grinned. There stood Elsa with her hands held out in a fighting pose, her face completely devoid of any emotion, although Rapunzel could read the fear in her cousin's blue eyes. _Thank goodness Elsa came out here…c'mon, Elsa, you can fix this. Don't freak out. I know you can get all four of us out of here._

Without missing a beat, Elsa continued, "I daresay you belong in the castle dungeon, Hans. I see why it may have been too _nice_ and _innocent_ of me to let you live. You repay me by going to the enemy." An impenetrable ice bubble appeared around Rapunzel and Anikka with a flick of her wrist just as Rapunzel dropped the lantern, leaving them all in darkness. Elsa briefly panicked before forming a dim blue glow with her magic in one hand and limping after the two figures walking smugly off with her friend. _I wasn't planning for this! What am I supposed to do?! I can't 'fly' with only one free hand… They know I can't run; they're just taunting me by walking off like that._ She scrunched her eyes shut and flung herself at the figure she knew was carrying Kiara, hoping the impact would be enough to make him drop her.

Rolf grunted in surprise and did indeed drop Kiara, but Elsa's slim weight wasn't enough to knock him off his feet. Instantly Elsa pulled Kiara close and formed another ice bubble for her and Kiara, knowing she could not fight well in the dark not knowing what was going on. _Well, I may have failed at capturing Hans and whoever that other person was, but I did rescue Kiara. And Rapunzel and Anikka are safe._ Elsa heard two angry voices yelling at her and pounding on her ice bubble, but she knew they could not get in. All four girls were perfectly safe. Elsa closed her eyes and sighed in relief, knowing Anna was safe indoors as well under strict supervision from Gerda. She'd made sure to tell Gerda that any orders Anna might try to give to let her go outside had been already overruled; Elsa trusted Gerda to follow her instructions.

Now that the danger had been averted, Elsa turned her attention to trying to shake Kiara awake. Elsa assumed (correctly) that Kiara had been knocked out the same way she herself had been before, so she knew Kiara wasn't in danger, although it still frightened her to know her friend was just lying so still. _Well, I didn't freak out or start crying anyways. That's good._ "Kiara, please wake up…please?" she said over and over.

"You silly drip, do what you practiced," Kiara mumbled, pointing where she thought her brother and whoever had been with him had gone. "The thought-directing thing you did…"

Elsa bit her lip as she realized what Kiara meant. The yelling from outside their bubble had ceased abruptly-probably because the two intruders had realized someone would hear them-but Elsa could still feel rough knocking on the ice bubble. Using her air currents to get to her feet, Elsa quickly melted a small hole in the bubble and silently stuck her hand through, closing her eyes and thinking she wanted to freeze Hans's and Rolf's feet to the ground as she did so. _I got one of them!_ Elsa thought happily when she heard Hans's frantic voice fading away and yelling something that Rolf needed to run and then the other voice, which she now knew was Rolf, swearing madly at her. This Elsa calmly ignored and plopped herself back down in the snow, tucking her hands inside her blue cloak just in case. Elsa wasn't sure whether the cold sensation she was feeling was dangerous or bad or not, so she decided to play it safe and keep herself warm. _I am so confused with this sensation of cold. And I don't like it._

Kiara frowned as she pushed herself to a sitting position and moved closer to Elsa for warmth. The night temperature had dropped rapidly, and Kiara knew that wasn't Elsa's doing. Elsa's natural body temperature was much cooler than her own, but she was still warmer than the air. "Snow Queen Elsa, are you scared or something, or are you shivering?" Kiara asked suspiciously, realizing the older girl was shaking uncontrollably. _I really, really don't think she's scared…_

"I'm scared of the fact that I'm shivering," Elsa deadpanned quietly. _What is going on?! Is whatever's wrong with Anna affecting me somehow? And why does my leg…hurt? Well, not hurt, really, but it aches. A lot. It never feels like that._ "Kiara, my bad leg doesn't feel right," she whispered a moment later, not wanting Rolf to hear her.

Kiara bit her lip, not knowing what to say to that. _Elsa's_ bad _leg doesn't feel right? What is that supposed to mean? Of course it doesn't feel right; it doesn't work properly…_ "I'm not sure I understand," she said finally.

Elsa sighed, trying to think how to explain something she really didn't understand herself. "Kiara…usually my bad leg still…registers feelings or sensations normally. It just doesn't move properly. Right now it…aches. A lot. And…and I can usually feel my powers running through me all over inside, but all my left leg feels right now is the metal on my brace feeling what I _think_ is freezing cold. But it isn't that awful painful cold feeling I had when I was sick, either. It's what I think…normal people register and feel cold as, maybe."

"You're 'normal' already, Snow Queen Elsa," Kiara said firmly. "But I know what you meant. Elsa, you're gonna have to take your brace off if we're stuck out here much longer. If you're feeling so-called "cold", it's bad to have freezing cold metal against your skin." Kiara frowned when she felt her friend tense up all over beside her. _Great. Now what? She's going to end up hurting herself or something…_

"I don't want to," Elsa replied in a small voice. She slowly just curled up on her side right where she was, her braced leg still held awkwardly straight. _Come on, Elsa, snap out of it. It's too cold out here for your friends for sure. Get all four of you back safe indoors. Now._ "Kiara…d'you have any ideas to get back inside with Rapunzel and Anikka?" she asked finally. If Elsa had been alone, she knew she would probably just stay right where she was; but with her friends in minor danger from the cold, she wanted to get them inside the castle.

Kiara grinned as she hopped to her feet. "I don't think you have to do a thing, Snow Queen Elsa. Look. Your dad brought a couple guards out here with him to get us. Over here, over here!" she shouted happily. _Thank goodness. I know Elsa could have gotten us inside, but this is even better. Especially if there's something wrong with Elsa's leg that's making her feel cold._

The second Agdar reached Elsa's and Kiara's ice bubble, he lightly knocked on the ice near Elsa in an effort to get her attention. "The guards will take that man to the dungeon, Elsa. Could you please melt the ice? It's safe now," he said firmly.

Elsa glanced nervously at Agdar before dissolving the bubble. Then she scooted straight into her father's arms and hid her face in his shoulder. _Safe. Papa found us. Now we just have to find Jade and Hans._

Agdar shook Elsa's shoulders roughly and slapped her cheek, not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to get her attention. "Cease this immediately, Elsa," he demanded quietly. "You are not a frightened toddler. You stand up and take charge right now. You can have hugs indoors in private. Not here." He set Elsa down on her own two feet and frowned when the girl still kept one hand clutching his coat tightly. "Elsa, I swear I will keep you locked in-" _Why did I say that? That probably made her upset…_

Elsa seemed to suddenly crumple at that, and she dropped her gaze to the snowy ground as she limped over to Rapunzel and Anikka, her arms wrapped around her middle hugging herself like she had done so often in the past. _What did I do wrong? I thought Papa came out here to get us…_ She dissolved the ice bubble around Anikka and Rapunzel, and then just went inside without looking back. _Elsa, your daddy just wanted you to act more grown-up and professional in front of others._

 _I know, but it still hurt._

* * *

The second Elsa was inside, Anna hugged her tightly, forgetting she wasn't supposed to touch her sister at the moment. "I'm so glad you're safe, Elsa, and-" Anna cut herself off when she realized Elsa was shivering. A lot. "Elsa…are you all right?"

All Elsa had felt was a sickening sensation of her own normal way of registering the cold inside her with pleasant coolness replaced by a painfully tingly freezing cold feeling, especially to her weak leg. "Anna…Anna, I'm cold," she whispered. "You're eating away at my immunity to cold. That's what it is." _How are we supposed to fix that?! That can't be good for Anna, either…_ Elsa felt someone else pick her up and start carrying her upstairs. "Kai…?" Elsa asked tiredly.

"Miss Elsa, stop struggling. You need to be warmed up immediately," Kai told her. "I don't know what's going on, but I'd recognize the symptoms of being too cold anywhere. You look red, you're shivering, and you feel cooler than usual." Kai set her down in the comfy chair in the corner and then wrapped the comforter off the bed around her. "I'm going to start up the fireplace, but don't get any closer. We want you near warmth, not direct heat."

Elsa nodded but didn't complain as she burrowed further into the comforter. Her leg was starting to really hurt, but she didn't say anything, not wanting to cause any more fuss than she already had. Something told her she needed to take her brace off, but she didn't want to, still upset by the thought of being trapped somewhere unable to stand up again. _Take it off, Elsa. Or at least tell someone how you're feeling._ "Kai, my leg hurts," she blurted finally, her eyes scrunched shut.

Knowing Elsa would probably prefer Gerda to help her rather than himself, Kai said, "I shall go get Gerda for you, Miss Elsa. She can help you instead."

Elsa nodded and just watched the fire while Kai left and Gerda and Idun came into her room less than five minutes later. "Hello, Mama, Gerda," Elsa said quietly. She kept her attention focused on her scaled-down ice palace as her mother gently laid a hand on her left foot.

"Elsa, you have to take that thing off," Idun said quietly, not wanting to make her daughter get all upset again. "Is it all right to unfasten it, sweetie? I'll leave it right where you can reach it easily." _I wish my little girl didn't have to wear a brace on her leg at all. Then she wouldn't be frightened of losing it like this. She could run again, too._

Elsa kept her eyes screwed shut, but she nodded and didn't make a sound as her mother took that brace off her leg. _It's okay, Elsa. It's just Mama and Gerda. It doesn't matter if I can't stand up around them. It doesn't matter._

"Miss Elsa's skin is sensitive, that's all," Gerda said a moment later. "It just looks like her brace was making her leg hurt wherever it touched her skin. She'll be fine the second she's warmed up some." Gerda spoke to Elsa directly now as she added, "I imagine you were just frightened by the sensation of cold since you hadn't felt like that before, Miss Elsa. Do you feel better now, perhaps?"

"I'm sorry I made such a fuss over absolutely nothing," Elsa said softly. _What an idiot I am…_ Now that Elsa knew what had happened to her, the fact that her leg ached didn't bother her much at all. It didn't hurt nearly as much as those burns or anything else serious she could think of had. _Is Anna okay? Where are the others?_

Idun shook her head and gave Elsa a hug. "This isn't nothing, Elsa. It isn't normal for you, and that worries me. Also you did not make a fuss at all. You just said you felt cold." She frowned when she noticed Elsa's sad expression. "Why are you sad, sweetie?" Idun asked, gently lifting Elsa's chin with one hand.

 _I don't want to tell Mama what Papa said. I know he was just trying to help…hearing that just hurt._ "I'm fine," Elsa said firmly. "I'm okay." _Wait a second…Jade got in my room last time through the window. I can fix that right now!_ Instantly ice sealed the window in Elsa's room shut. Elsa smiled at her mother as she added, "I don't think Jade will be coming in here again. Will you help me over to the window? I'm going to seal the entire castle with ice. Then we'll be safe within an ice fortress, so to speak."

* * *

"So where's that little sister of yours, Hans?" Jade asked the second Hans arrived back to the cave. "What happened to Rolf?"

"I'll tell you what happened! That so-called little helpless girl you thought was so badly injured that she was no threat, also known as Queen Elsa, just came out to the castle gardens just as Rolf and I had caught Kiara," Hans explained. _Although…I'm slightly pleased she rescued Kiara. Kiara is a brat and a pest, but I do not want her near Jade._ "Queen Elsa froze Rolf's feet in place so he couldn't get away."

Jade scowled. "It was _dark_ , Hans. Two males couldn't get away from one slip of a girl that can't even run after them? Were you even trying?"

"She has magic, Jade," Hans retorted. "All she did was make those impenetrable ice bubbles for herself and her stupid friends. Once she did that, it was useless to try any longer. That ice can withstand fire."

Jade eyed the fire crystal in her hand, deep in thought. "I wonder if that ice can withstand _magical_ fire, though…" _After all, all that smoke made her cough and feel sick before. Maybe Elsa is only invincible to_ direct _magic attacks on her. I bet her powers won't respond to indirect threats to her safety…_ "Well, it's only a matter of time before Elsa and her sister start being affected by that shard of frozen fire in Anna's heart. There's no way Elsa was able to heal Anna entirely from the fire magic. According to this book," she went on, pointing at a fat book on a shelf, "a natural mage must have complete, utter mastery over his or her powers to completely neutralize and/or heal a heart from magic's effects, whether it's its own magic or another type that he or she has tried to cancel out." _And it's impossible for Elsa to have mastery over her powers-she's not old enough yet as far as I can tell. And most definitely not experienced enough. And she was hurt when she tried to heal Anna anyway. I'm so glad I finally sat down and read this today._

Hans hesitated, not particularly liking the sound of that. "What does that mean?"

"It means Elsa's attempt to heal Anna just made it so _no one_ can help Anna now. We've already won. It's a matter of time."

 **A/N: Hans, Rolf, you are lucky it wasn't daytime or Elsa would have easily captured both of you. Elsa, you shouldn't listen to your father...he's trying to help, but he's stupid.**

 **I personally liked writing this chapter because Elsa actually rescued herself and her friends on her own this time. :) I thought it was about time Elsa actually did something...she's spent too much of the story badly hurt.:/**

 **If I counted correctly, I THINK there are only about three or four chapters 'til the climax.:)**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Very true. Agdar's "help" tends to hurt Elsa in some way even when he's trying to help.:/ He did genuinely help Elsa when he rescued her and Anna from Jade's cave hideout, though.:P**

 **SnowPrincessx-Thank you! And thanks for reading all my other stories!:) I'm glad you enjoyed them.:) Just curious...what order DID you read them in? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, though.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-Elsa will be okay; I promise. She's just...really stressed out right now, and her father isn't helping. Elsa genuinely feeling cold wasn't actually dangerous to her (although it would have been if she stayed outside too long, just like anyone else); it just unnerved her because it's not normal for her.:P No, I will most definitely NOT separate them again like they were before and keep poor Elsa trapped in her room.:/ Elsa just can't physically touch Anna right now without ill effects.**

 **Dragonheart35-And I PMed you, so I won't make you reread the same thing here.:)**

 **DodgersGirl-Thank you!:) It's because of the frozen fire shard in Anna's heart, that's all. I replied, BTW.:)**

 **princessdianaofparadiseisland-You'll just have to wait and see, sis! And give Elsa a break-of course she's fragile; she's all stressed out at the moment.:/ Hans is mixed in his feelings towards this whole thing, so yes, he's acting like he can't make up his mind.**

 **On to the story!:)**

Early the next morning, Elsa woke up with a start when she heard a knock on her door. "One moment, please," she called. _What could be wrong this time? And I didn't have any bad dreams anyways. That's good._ She yawned and blinked several times, trying to get herself completely alert. And then she heard a strange sound that completely unnerved her.

 _Drip._

 _Drip. Drip._

 _Drip._

When Elsa peeked outside her window, she had her answer.

 _Drip._

 _Drip. Drip._

The ice seal Elsa had made for the castle was _melting._

* * *

"Papa, I need to go outside and investigate," Elsa insisted less than ten minutes later. "That ice should not be melting like that! Something is wrong. Where are the others?" _This has something to do with what's wrong with Anna. I know it does. I fixed the ice seal for the castle, but I sense that something still isn't quite right._

Agdar put both hands on Elsa's shoulders and looked her right in the eyes. "Elsa. You cannot go out there. Anna is missing. Your other friends are still asleep in the library, but Anna is missing. Gerda found the library window open this morning."

Elsa's blue eyes went wide. "Then that's all the more reason I have to go! What if Anna is hurt? I have to find her! I…" Elsa tried to pull away from her father, but Agdar refused to let go of her arm. "Papa, _let me go!_ Anna might be hurt or in danger! There's something wrong inside her magic-wise, and I'm afraid Jade might find and harm her. I can help. I know I can!" _You weren't much help when you and Anna were trapped in that cave,_ a nasty voice taunted her. _You couldn't even stand up._ Elsa still remembered only too clearly how she had felt when Anna had put her in that tiny cage-room and told her all those awful things. _It wasn't Anna; it wasn't Anna. Jade forced her to act like that._

 _…should have made me heir apparent instead of a defective little thing like you…_

 _Shut up. That was not Anna. Anna loves me. She takes care of me when I need help._

 _Why did your father even rescue you, Elsa? He could have just retaken the throne and said you were lost. Nobody wants a scared and traumatized girl around. You just cause trouble and take up time that could be spent on something that's actually important. Not a worthless little thing like you._ "Make it stop!" Elsa wailed desperately. "Make it go away…please…I'm not worthless…I _know_ I'm not…"

Agdar hadn't seen Elsa this upset before, and he had no idea how to deal with it. _What have we done? She's terrified and confused. Even I can see that._ He instinctively backed away when he felt the temperature plummet and saw all the snowflakes swirling around Elsa and the ice forming on her hands. "Elsa, you're getting out of control," he said in a calm voice.

Elsa's confused gaze settled on her father and old words rushed through her head. _Papa will be mad. Con-no, Elsa!_

 _Yes. I have to! Everything's all a mess!_

 _Stop that 'conceal, don't feel' garbage! It doesn't help; it makes things worse. That_ will _make a mess!_

 _You're the mess, Elsa._ "Conceal, don't-"

"No, Elsa! No, stop it!" Agdar shouted. "That's what made you explode before!" _She needs Anna. Anna knows how to fix this…_ Agdar spotted mittens and a cloak neatly folded on a side table near the door and quickly grabbed them before taking a deep breath and going over to Elsa. He shoved the mittens on Elsa's ice-cold hands; then wrapped the cloak around her and just held her close. "Calm down, Elsa," he added firmly. "Control it. I know you can. I've seen you." _Why is she hyperventilating?! Come on, Elsa. This isn't you. You're my strong daughter who's the reigning monarch of Arendelle. You're fine._

All Elsa's distraught mind registered was constricting things on her hands and her father shouting at her. _I feel dizzy…_ "Papa, let me go! Please d-don't lock m-me away again…it _hurts_ …hurts so much…can't s-someone set me free? Please…" _I want Anna back….Anna loves me even though I'm…broken._

Agdar shook his head hard and clutched the shaking girl tightly. _This scared little thing is my daughter. How is it that she manages to hold it together and take charge like Arendelle's ruler should when inside she's…like this? She has a veritable storm inside of her. A sad storm of hurt._ He glanced at Elsa's hands and suddenly realized what he had done. _I may as well have made her wear gloves again. That's why she just got upset all the more._ "Elsa. Elsa, listen to me. I will not lock you away again. Ever. I promise," he told her.

Elsa's pain-clouded blue eyes glanced from the mittens on her hands to her father and back again. "C-can I…t-take them off?" she whispered. Elsa backed away when she didn't receive a reply right away. _Elsa, what is wrong with you? You just had a panic attack. A milder one than those awful ones from last summer, but still. And you can take those mittens off if you want to right now._

 _I know, but I wanted Papa to actually say it was okay._

 _You sound like a little girl asking for permission to do something._ She glanced down at herself and then just kept her gaze on the floor. "Papa can't love someone who's…broken like me…" Elsa didn't realize she had spoken aloud. The snow swirling around her turned into tiny snowflakes simply floating around her instead.

Gerda came into the entry hall right that second and frowned at the scene in front of her. "Mr. Grieg, pardon me, but what did you do to her? This looks like Miss Elsa is trying to get herself out of a panic attack," she said quietly. _That hasn't happened to her in months. What was going on?_ Gerda went straight to Elsa and took the mittens off Elsa's hands before simply kneeling on the floor with Elsa in her arms. "Just breathe, Miss Elsa. You are not broken. Nice and slow…that's it. Good, Miss Elsa."

Elsa just closed her eyes as she concentrated on her breathing and scooted closer to Gerda. _My chest hurts. And I should have remembered this myself. It's just…Papa scared me. And I don't even understand why…_ "Thank you, Gerda," Elsa said softly after a minute. "I…I thought I wouldn't get those attacks anymore…" _It scared me all the more because I thought it wouldn't happen again. That's what happened…_

"Gerda, how did you fix Elsa that quickly?" Agdar asked. "I tried to help, but I think I just…made it worse for her."

"You put mittens on her, Mr. Grieg! Of course that set off this reaction. She probably thought you were making her wear gloves again," Gerda explained. _I'm surprised he didn't cause Elsa to get like this before…it's probably because she's all stressed out right now, I suppose._ She paused for a moment, wondering whether it was appropriate for her to continue. _I don't care; Elsa is the queen, but she's still a young girl who needs us to take care of her._ "I've seen Miss Elsa have these episodes before, although it was several months ago. Putting things on her hands doesn't help. She just needs someone to stay with her and help her concentrate on her breathing and talk to her."

"She was completely out of control, Gerda. There was snow swirling around _everywhere!_ A complete mess in here, and she wasn't doing anything to remedy that," Agdar replied, frowning.

Elsa bit her lip hard as she looked up at her father. "Papa, I'm not sure, but I think people that aren't…like me can get those awful…episodes, too. They just wouldn't make all the snowy and icy mess in the process." She quickly dissolved all the ice and snow on the floor and said thank-you as Gerda helped her to her feet. "I have to go find Anna," she added determinedly. _And I forgot about my necklace. No fear. Love equals freedom. I said…wrote…that myself; I should listen to it._

Agdar abruptly grabbed Elsa and hugged her close. _What am I supposed to do with Elsa? What if someone finds out she has…problems like this? It's bad enough that most everyone knows about that weak leg of hers and that she can't walk properly. I will not have anyone hurting her again._ "Elsa, what if you have an attack like that while you're outside on your own?" he asked finally.

"That won't happen," Elsa replied instantly. She knew deep in her heart that was the case. The only reason it had happened just now was because of the combination of her father being the only one there and him putting those mittens on her. _I know now he was just trying to help, but I can't think clearly when I start getting like that. That combination of things was just one big trigger for me. If I'd been by myself or with Gerda or Anna or maybe Mama, I think I would have been okay. And I'm not telling Papa any of that._ "Papa, I need to go. I just wasted probably a half hour trying to convince you I should leave and then freaking out like that."

"Then I shall come with you. I don't want you alone."

Elsa shook her head at her father's words. "Papa, I…I'd rather be by myself," she said slowly. "I'll be all right. I feel better now." _I'm just tired. And my chest still hurts a little._ She darted outside the second Agdar let go of her. _Okay. My mission is to find Anna. Ready, Elsa?_

* * *

Agdar frowned as the heavy door shut behind Elsa. "I do not like the thought of her out there alone, Gerda. She's…never mind." He pasted a neutral expression on his face and began striding off down the hall; then paused and turned back to face Gerda. "Thank you for taking care of Elsa like you do. I only wish there was a way to…to…" _Fix her, I suppose. It's just…I don't know…_

"Mr. Grieg, she's still your daughter no matter what. You hurt her when she was a child and you cannot change that, but you can love and care for her now," Gerda said firmly.

"What difference will that make?! What? It doesn't matter what I do now. She's broken inside. No one can repair that! No one. Elsa is my _daughter_ , and I ruined her! She was begging for me not to lock her away again. That it hurt. That she wanted someone to set her free. Gerda, why did that girl even come back to us when she's like that inside? Why would she do that?!" Agdar found himself nearly shouting and forcing himself not to start crying. _I put Elsa in the dungeon, for goodness sakes. I may as well have put a damaged, heartbroken little girl down there, because that's what she is._

"Because Miss Elsa wanted to help the people she loves," Gerda replied quietly. "Mr. Grieg, she is _not_ ruined or broken. She's hurt, yes, but she just needs to heal. All of this stress recently has simply made it more difficult for her to do so."

"It's been, what, eight months or so since Elsa got her little sister back. She should be fine by now! Rapunzel healed her, so she should be better. And why is Elsa the one stuck with a permanent injury to her leg that makes it so she can't walk properly, even though she wears that uncomfortable-looking brace? That isn't fair!"

Gerda sighed and shook her head. "To quote Miss Elsa herself, life isn't fair. And it takes much longer for emotional damage to heal than physical damage. The Coronian princess healed her physically only. Also, what is eight months compared to thirteen years? She's just fragile in some ways, just like she's strong as steel in others. Please remember also that Miss Elsa hadn't had one of those panic attacks in months. That isn't something that happens to her on a regular basis." She paused; then added, "Also Miss Elsa is actually better than we all thought she was going to be. At least she can walk on her own, even if she has to wear a brace for it."

 _Well, if nothing can fix Elsa inside except time and herself, I will at least get her leg fixed. There has to be some way to help her._ "Gerda, I want you to help Elsa with healing her leg back to normal. Maybe she just needs exercises or therapy for it or something," Agdar decided.

"I will ask Miss Elsa if she would be willing to try, but I will not get her hopes up," Gerda said politely but firmly. "Mr. Grieg, I honestly don't think that would do anything but frustrate her. She's had her brace for around three months now and she does everything she did before she was injured, aside from running. It isn't worth causing her distress for something that most likely won't help in the least."

* * *

Outside, Elsa stepped through the snow quiet as a cat. Despite her obvious limp and the fact that she had to virtually drag her bad leg along, she was still almost silent in the snow. The only noise Elsa could hear was her own breathing. _It's too quiet. I don't like this…the only good thing is that I don't feel that nasty sensation of cold anymore. That means it_ was _Anna's touch that was causing my decreased immunity. It must have worn off. And I'm an obvious target in this outfit._ In a flash, Elsa had created an opaque ice wall around herself and discarded her thick winter clothes.

In exchange, she made a silvery white dress that came to just her knees with thin sparkling straps over her shoulders. She traded her old brace for one made of ice, making sure to create it in such a way that no one could take it away from her. _So there. That's not going anywhere until I choose to melt…dissolve it._ Elsa hid her other outfit by the castle steps under a pile of snow, not wanting to go back inside and risk her father not wanting her to leave again. "All right, I think I can do this," she muttered to herself. _I just have to find Anna._

Here in surroundings that were virtually entirely white with snow or ice, Elsa blended in perfectly. Elsa's dress and her platinum hair and fair skin made her match the elements around her easily. Elsa glanced up at the sky uneasily. Although it was only partially cloudy, she could feel something wrong in the air, and she knew it wasn't just her being a bit nervous or frightened from that panic attack. _Anna is in trouble. I know she is. Wait a minute…Olaf! Olaf can find her!_

As if Olaf had heard her, the little snowman came waddling toward her seconds later. "Hi, Elsa!"

"Hello, Olaf. Do you think you could help me find Anna?" Elsa asked with a smile.

* * *

While Elsa was occupied tracking Anna with Olaf's help, Jade and Hans walked straight into the castle. Jade had figured out that the tranquilizer she had would knock out anyone long enough for her and Hans to make it out of the castle with what she wanted. "Only shoot Kiara and the queen's cousin with the tranquilizer. That little kid Anikka will follow us if we just tell her we have Elsa," Jade instructed. _Elsa didn't seal the door shut entirely. I knew she wouldn't! Otherwise no one inside the castle would be able to leave._

Hans hesitated. "What do you want the three of them for? They don't have powers." _This is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Wait…I know exactly why Jade wants them. For leverage against Elsa. She'll trade herself to get them set free if she has to._

"None of your business. And you know what to do should you come across Elsa for whatever reason and I'm not there."

Hans looked away but nodded. "I remember." _And it's not right. Elsa may have made me look like an idiotic murderer, but she quite honestly never did anything to me that I probably deserved…_

* * *

"Olaf, I can't walk that fast," Elsa repeated for the umpteenth time. Although she knew she could 'fly' easily enough, she couldn't follow what seemed to be Anna's footprints from way up in the air. Nor did she want to risk being seen. In the snow, she blended in; but in the air, she would be a sparkling beacon for anyone to see. Elsa carefully stepped in each of Anna's footprints to mask her own trail. Even though Elsa didn't sink in the snow, she knew she would leave a nearly undetectable trail if she wasn't careful. _Also, this is the way to visit the trolls. What on earth was Anna doing?_

Olaf bounced impatiently waiting for Elsa to catch up. He knew why Elsa's steps were rather awkward, but he was still more used to Elsa being able to walk the way she'd been able to before than the way she was now. "I think Anna went to visit the trolls, Elsa. Maybe she's singing a song with them! Do you think Kristoff is there? I do. I haven't seen him in _ages_."

Elsa paused for a moment and then just picked Olaf up. "We're going to go straight to the trolls. Maybe they can tell me what's wrong. I can feel that something's not right, but I'm not sure what. Hold on to me, Olaf." In a split second, Elsa was flying along, but she stayed barely three feet off the ground so she wouldn't be seen above the trees.

* * *

Minutes later, Elsa was horrified at what she found in the Valley of the Living Rock. _What happened?! The trolls look…sick. I didn't think they could even get sick._ All the trolls lay on the ground scattered around the valley. Kristoff knelt by one of the trolls, trying to give it-him? her? Elsa wasn't sure-water. Elsa hesitantly limped toward Kristoff, dreading every step she took. "Kristoff? It's just me, Elsa…do you know what happened here?" she asked quietly.

"Hey, Q-Elsa, nice to see a friendly human face," Kristoff deadpanned, although his worried smile gave away how he really felt. "Elsa, they're dying," he said quietly. "I know they're trolls, but they're my _family_. I'm sorry, Elsa, I had to do something…"

Elsa frowned. "What is that supposed to mean? Why wouldn't I want you to help the trolls?" She set Olaf down and glanced around the valley. "Something feels very wrong, Kristoff. This just proves it. The trolls are supposed to be ancient. Why are they ill and dying all of a sudden?"

"I left you to deal with Arendelle's problems while I tried to deal with the trolls' problem," Kristoff apologized. "That's why I haven't been around in awhile. And it doesn't seem like I've helped any."

Elsa's face suddenly lit up as an important realization struck her. "I think I know how to help the trolls and all of Arendelle, too. It's the power crystals, Kristoff. The trolls must rely on them to survive! If that's true, then I bet I can help the trolls myself. I just have to give them each a bit of my magic." She closed her eyes and laid her hand on the nearest troll's head. A faint blue glow spread around the troll and then it hopped up a second later.

"Thanks, Queen Elsa!" the young troll exclaimed.

Kristoff sighed in relief as Elsa did the same thing to one member of his family after another. _I should have gone to get Elsa days ago. She's instantly fixing everyone herself._

Elsa could feel her body growing more and more tired as she helped revive each troll. _I know my magic will replenish itself, but…but I can't run out of energy right now. I can't. I won't be able to help Anna when I find her._ Directly sending pure ice magic over and over like she was doing drained her much more quickly than simply making things with ice or snow did. Elsa felt like something was literally sucking all her energy away. For Elsa, this whole process was like giving too much blood at one time. A small amount was harmless, but any sizable amount was most definitely not. Already she could barely stay on her feet.

And there were so many trolls! So many of them…and they _all_ needed help.

Elsa had just revived the very last troll when she simply collapsed right at Grand Pabbie's rocky feet. "Ah, Queen Elsa solved our problem but at the expense of her own," he said regretfully. "Kristoff, you should have halted her efforts."

"I didn't know she was gonna collapse like that! Will Elsa be all right?" Kristoff asked.

"I'll be fine," Elsa said almost inaudibly. _So tired…so, so tired…I have to find Anna…have to find Anna…_ Elsa wasn't unconscious, but she was so weak she could barely move her arms and legs, and her ice powers flowing through her felt very depleted. "Kristoff, please…find…Anna. She needs…help…I know she…does…"

"The queen is right, Kristoff," Pabbie told him. "Take Olaf with you. I will watch Queen Elsa while you are gone. She will be fine…it is just that she used an incredible amount of energy to revive all of us trolls. Tell the princess she is able to fight. That message will get through to her." Pabbie pointed at Elsa lying on the ground and then at Kristoff. "Put her somewhere comfortable. Not there on the ground," he instructed.

Kristoff easily scooped Elsa's slender form up and laid her on a large, soft pile of moss. "Thank you, Elsa," he said quietly. "You saved them. _All_ of them."

Elsa's hand twitched weakly as she tried to reach and give Kristoff's hand a squeeze. "You're welcome," she replied simply. _What kind of person would I be if I hadn't tried? Of course I did that. I needed to. I could help, so I did._

"Now I'll go find my fiancée," Kristoff said with a smile.

"My sister." Elsa's blue eyes fluttered shut as she sighed in relief. _Anna is going to be okay. I know she will._

* * *

The second Kristoff and Olaf were gone, Elsa slowly turned her head so she could see Grand Pabbie standing next to her. "Grand Pabbie…how long…is it going to take…for me to regain…my strength?" she asked hesitantly. Elsa wasn't sorry in the least that she had helped the trolls, but she was worried that Jade would find her or she would need to defend Arendelle and she'd be completely useless in her present condition. _I know I did the right thing, but I'm still worried._

"I do not know, Queen Elsa," Pabbie said quietly. "It depends on just how much magic you used all at once like that and how much you had in the first place. I will say that a girl your size and age would not have ordinarily had enough power to do what you just did. You are the strongest mage I have ever seen. When you are older, you will have more power proportionately than I myself do. Yes, mine and yours are two very different powers, but one significant difference is that I rely on the power crystals to survive, whereas you have no need of any such thing."

"How long will…it take for…what I did to wear off?" Elsa asked. _I know what I did won't sustain the trolls permanently…I know it won't._

"A week or so, possibly less," Pabbie replied. "You could continue helping all the trolls, but you would just collapse again. No, Queen Elsa, you must bring back the power crystals the moment you have regained your strength."

Elsa sighed and just stared up at the sky. _How am I supposed to bring back the power crystals when I can't even sit up on my own? I know this isn't anywhere near permanent, but every second that passes, everything is just getting worse and I'm just lying here wasting time._ She closed her eyes as she tried to form a snowflake in her hand. The snowflake appeared over her palm, and a few seconds later, Elsa's hand flopped to her side as the snowflake floated to the ground. "Terrific," Elsa deadpanned in disgust. "Grand Pabbie, you'd better hope…Jade doesn't come here. Because I'm useless."

"She will come here sometime soon and you know it, Queen Elsa. She will realize you were tracking Anna and know exactly where you are the second Kristoff finds your sister." Pabbie laid a grassy moss blanket over Elsa and touched her shoulder lightly. "Sleep now. You will regain your strength faster."

Elsa scowled, but she nodded slightly and said thank-you.

"There are two ways to remedy frozen fire, Queen Elsa," Grand Pabbie said quietly. One will cause a new set of problems. The other will solve everything." Then he turned back into a boulder.

Elsa sighed. _How was that helpful?!_

 **A/N: Well, Elsa managed to help all the trolls, but she also completely wore herself out in the process.:/**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**

 **P.S. When this story is finished, there will be a more lighthearted (and most likely shorter) one regarding what's happening in and around Arendelle once spring comes. I won't say anything else at the moment.:) Elsa and all the other characters need a break from all the serious adventures! Especially Elsa; I am _not_ putting her through another story like this one, at least not anytime soon. She's already all stressed out and I feel like she can't take all that again right now.:/ Here, Elsa, have a hug.:)**

 **P.S. A question for anyone reading...I'm also intending to write a story about Ingrid (remember, she's Elsa's great-great-great grandmother in my story-verse, NOT the OUAT Ingrid). Since it would end up being a tragedy [and I mean tragedy; there will be NO happy ending at all], I'm just wondering if anyone would read it. Please let me know.:)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **QueenofIcelandia-Yay!:) Yes, there's going to be another sequel.:P If anything, Elsa needs a mostly happy-go-lucky story after this one!:)**

 **Mandy-Nope, Elsa physically CAN'T lose her powers. She can get so tired she collapses, but she can't really lose them. Anna was only temporarily affecting her immunity to cold. If Agdar hadn't been the one with her, Elsa would have been able to calm herself down before spiraling into a panic attack. And it doubly scared her because she thought she wouldn't get them anymore.:/ She _knows_ her father wasn't really trying to hurt her, but it still hurt anyway. Also part of her is still hurt from the whole thing that happened in the cave. Elsa needs calm and rest...she's really, really stressed right now. Even if Elsa and Anna had visited Corona when they were little, they wouldn't have been able to meet Rapunzel. Rapunzel was stuck in Mother Gothel's tower, remember?:P IDK when I'll write the boat trip chapter (it probably belongs in the sequel to this story, I think), but when I do, I'll give you credit.:)**

 **SnowPrincessx-Yay!:) Oh, okay. So you pretty much read them in reverse order. That's cool.:)**

 **princessdianaofparadiseisland-How about because you never finish yours, sis?:P Anyways, I'd like it if you made edits to go with mine. Could you make one of all five girls together-Elsa, Anna, Rapunzel, Kiara, and Anikka? Like they're posing for a portrait? You prob'ly know this already, but Anikka is 5 and has short brown curly hair and brown eyes; and Kiara is 11 and has long dark hair, tanned skin, and green eyes.:P**

 **DodgersGirl-I kinda figured Elsa would heal the trolls if she could, no matter if it made her exhausted.:/ Thanks:) I have no idea why I'm even writing that story...**

 **Elsa Tomago-You're right, Anna only affected Elsa's immunity to cold, not her powers. I think you'll understand just why the ice seal for the castle was melting after this chapter. (Elsa did fix it, BTW.:)) And you'll see where Anna is in this chapter too.:P Agdar just didn't want Elsa going off alone to look for Anna. Also he was a little frightened when Elsa started getting out of control during her panic attack, so he did something impulsive-putting mittens on her-which really just made it worse for her. Gerda knows Elsa well, and she's seen Elsa's panic attacks before, so she knows what to do. Also Elsa trusts Gerda far more than she trusts her father, and that makes a difference.:/ Well, Elsa doesn't get any real rest until Jade has been neutralized. That's just the way it is since Elsa is in charge.:P She just has to last a little while longer.:) [ie., a couple more chapters:P] Thanks for being willing to give Ingrid's story a try anyways.:)**

 **Gold17-Yay!:) Elsa WILL get a happy ending. Promise. It's just going to take awhile for her to bounce back from all the constant stress. She'll be okay.:)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:)**

 **On to the story!:)**

Elsa awoke with a start hours later. Already she felt better, although she could still tell she was weaker than usual. "Grand Pabbie!" she exclaimed, pushing the blanket away from her. "Something's wrong. A storm of some kind. It…it doesn't feel natural, I-"

She stood up to see someone she was neither surprised nor happy to see smirking at her. "Jade," she breathed uneasily. "What are you doing here?" _I can't collapse again. I need my powers right now. Elsa, stay calm. Stay calm._

"To find you," Jade replied nonchalantly. "I think you may want to follow me willingly this time." She raised one eyebrow as she looked Elsa up and down. "What on earth are you wearing?"

"Clothes, same as you," Elsa shot back instantly. "I will not follow you anywhere, Jade. What have you done that you think I would want to follow you?" _She's captured someone. Or someones. I just know it! Where's Anna and Kristoff? Why are the trolls all turned into boulders again?! I need help!_ Elsa yelped as she felt her legs swept out from under her; and she instinctively put her hand out to catch herself.

"I thought that ugly thing made you self-conscious," Jade said, giving Elsa's braced leg a kick. _I shouldn't be doing this. I should have just killed Elsa's stupid father while Hans and I were at the castle. Elsa isn't going to break just because I insult her. I know she won't. I need Elsa's powers, though…_

"Ice isn't ugly," Elsa blurted, surprised at her own response. _Elsa, you really just defended yourself. Good job._ Other than that, she didn't react; the ice on her leg absorbed any pain that kick might have caused her, and she already expected to hear insults from Jade, so that didn't really bother her either. Well, it stung a bit, but it didn't make her want to cry or anything. What did hurt was her wrist, because she'd landed with all her weight on it and she had quite honestly expected to land in an instinctively made pile of snow. _I think I twisted something. And my powers aren't reacting normally. My magic is still messed up somehow because it's 'tired'. Great…_ Elsa ignored Jade and put ice around her wrist just in case, figuring the makeshift splint would hold long enough to either find Rapunzel or get proper care for it. In any event, her wrist didn't hurt nearly as bad as those awful burns had (Elsa thought _nothing_ could possibly be worse than those burns on her hands had been), so she felt confident that she could deal with it without much trouble. "So why do you think I would want to follow you?" she asked.

"I captured all three of your friends, Elsa." Jade reached down and yanked Elsa to her feet roughly before adding, "And I know you want to rescue them. So, my offer is this: I take you instead and let all of them go."

Elsa shook her head immediately. "No deal, Jade. You haven't proved that you have them, and there is nothing saying that you won't just capture or hurt them again if I'm out of the way. So my answer is no." _I knew it! I just knew it. I'm not sure whether she's telling the truth or not, but I know she wants my powers. If she kills me in an effort to get them, there's nothing keeping her from using all those power crystals to take over Arendelle. I wish I knew where Anna was. What if she's hurt? And I feel…scared._

 _Elsa, calm down._

Jade hesitated, realizing Elsa had found the hole in the logic of her plan. "Well, you can't know for sure that I haven't, either," she replied. "You don't want to risk them getting hurt, do you?" _I think Elsa's blood would give me her powers. Elsa is not going to give them up, and she seems awfully certain that she couldn't give them to me anyway. And not being able to is consistent with the information from that book, too…_

Elsa made no verbal reply; she simply formed an ice bubble around Jade and turned to leave. _I'll find them myself. I don't need Jade's help._ She whipped around when she heard a sickening cracking sound. "My ice," she whispered.

Jade had used the fire crystal to punch right through that ice bubble, shattering it completely. What Elsa didn't realize was that the only reason Jade had been able to do that was because of Elsa's temporarily weakened powers. In her present condition, Elsa couldn't make her impenetrable ice.

Slightly panicked, Elsa tried to create her air currents, only to fall to the ground seconds later.

 _I'm trapped._

* * *

In the castle dungeon, an irate Kiara shook Rapunzel awake. "C'mon, wake up," she demanded. "I'm so sick of this. Let's go find Elsa or Anna ourselves. That stupid Jade didn't even notice I still had this." Kiara smirked as she held out the electricity crystal. "I think Anna might be sick in the head again, so we don't want to find her, especially she's got the other three or four crystals on top of whatever's wrong with her. But we could try to find Elsa at least."

Rapunzel blinked a few times, trying to focus on her surroundings. "Um, Kiara? I think we have another problem to worry about," she said, pointing at the chain bolting her ankle to the floor. "Elsa's ice powers could break me free, but that electricity crystal can't. At least not without hurting me in the process. And my magic doesn't heal injuries caused by magic."

Kiara sighed as she walked over to the barred window. "You know what other problem we have? Anikka isn't here. Elsa's going to kill us if she finds out we didn't keep that little girl safe while she was gone."

"That Jade person won't kill Anikka, Kiara," Rapunzel said quietly. "In fact, I'll bet I know exactly where Anikka is. Jade's home or hideout, wherever that might be. She's probably split us up on purpose so Elsa can't save all of us no matter what she does."

"A stupid cave," Kiara muttered. "Wait…splitting us up on purpose? What if we helped that plan along a bit? If only one of the three of us have been separated from the other two, surely Jade will think it's even better if we're _all_ separated." She held the crystal out in her head and smiled. "I can just teleport out of here. I know that means I'm leaving you alone, but should someone try to hurt you, you can just heal yourself, right?"

Rapunzel grinned back and nodded. "Yep!"

* * *

In the Valley of the Living Rock, Elsa stumbled first in one direction and then another trying to get away from Jade's fire attacks. _I can't use any magic unless I absolutely have to. I don't know how long my energy will hold out._ Somehow she knew Jade was just playing with her, purposely barely missing her every time.

Elsa decided she hated fire. The smoke smelled awful and the heat made her feel sick. She took a deep breath and willfully dropped her body temperature much, much colder than normal, along with the air directly surrounding her. That move didn't use up much energy.

"Tired of playing dodgeball yet, ice mouse?" Jade taunted. "You know I'm going to win eventually. I know you do. You know what's lethally wrong with your precious little sister, don't you?"

Elsa's expression twisted in pain. "There's a way to fix Anna, Jade!" she shouted. "I know there is. I know there is…" _Isn't there? There isn't a way to fix my leg so I can walk properly again. That means there might not be a way to help Anna…_ Elsa bit her lip as she looked down at her braced leg. That was proof there were solid limits to what magic could fix. What if there was no way to help Anna, either? _Except…part of what's wrong with Anna is because of_ my _magic. I'll bet there's a way for me to-_

Elsa's thoughts were abruptly cut off as Jade slammed her to the ground flat on her back so hard Elsa was sure she heard something crack. "Jade, please, I-" She suddenly felt all that weight lifted away from her and half-registered a very angry Kiara in her range of vision. _So Jade was lying? What's going on? Did Kristoff find Anna?_ Elsa winced as she slowly sat up, keeping her hand pressed to her ribs. _Why do I keep getting myself into trouble? No sooner did Rapunzel heal me then I'm injured again. Well, at least I can still function like I am. That's good._

"Didn't count on that happening, did you, Jade?" Kiara spat. "You're so stupid you didn't even take your prisoners' power away. Idiot!" She sent a weak stream of electricity to Jade, which the other girl easily blocked with fire; but a distraction was all Kiara wanted. In a flash, Kiara had wrapped her arm around Elsa and teleported both of them directly to Jade's cave hideout. Kiara glanced around quickly, realizing they were actually right outside the cave. Her heart sank when she noticed that the electrokinetic crystal's glow was dimming. _I've used the crystal too much. It needs to 'recharge'. I bet I could get more from that stupid cave, though. Jade won't come here; she'll think I took Elsa back to the castle so Rapunzel could heal her._ "Snow Queen Elsa, where exactly are you hurt?" Kiara asked, barely louder than a whisper.

Elsa grimaced as Kiara helped her to her feet. "I'm not sure, but I think I cracked a rib or something," she muttered in annoyance. "I'm hoping it's just bruised, but I thought I heard a nasty cracking noise when I hit the ground. And it hurts a little to breathe, although it's not overwhelmingly horrible like those burns were. Also I was stupid and twisted my wrist." Elsa gave her friend a lopsided smile as she held out her wrist she'd splinted with ice.

"That ice has cracked, Elsa," Kiara pointed out. "Why didn't you just use that impenetrable ice you can make instead? It looks like your brace is still working okay."

 _Because evidently I can't…_ "I made my brace before I used so much magic to revive all the trolls, so it's still my impenetrable ice," Elsa explained slowly. "My powers aren't working properly right now; I _can't_ make impenetrable ice because I'm weaker than usual."

Kiara just stared at her. _We don't have access to Elsa's unbreakable ice either?!_ "That's just great, Snow Queen Elsa. Not! Just what are we supposed to do?"

Elsa bit her lip as she tried to think what would be the best thing for her and Kiara to do. Neither of them were completely out of commission to fight, but they were also far more vulnerable than Elsa would have liked. _Okay, Kiara isn't injured at all, but she doesn't have any weapons or powers to use to defend herself. I still have my powers, but they're 'tired', and I'm hurt, just not so badly I can't do anything._ "All right, Kiara, I think I have a plan. I'm almost a hundred percent sure Espen will be in there. I don't like the idea of half-lying to him, but here's what we'll do…"

Kiara grinned proudly once she'd heard Elsa's entire plan. "Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Let's go."

* * *

Up on the North Mountain, Kristoff tried yet again to catch Anna's attention. "Anna, you can fight this. You know you can," he said for the umpteenth time. "What would Elsa think if she came up here and found her ice palace all ruined?"

Anna shrugged and continued focusing on using the ice crystal to try to melt her sister's icy structure. The crystal allowed her to very extremely slowly melt Elsa's ice, but it was also far weaker than Elsa's powers were. "Go away, Kristoff. Elsa doesn't need this old thing. I want to make my own," Anna announced.

"Pabbie said you were able to fight this," Kristoff said quietly, hesitantly stepping closer to Anna. He eyed the now-missing railing on the staircase. If he wasn't careful, or if Anna became angry, they could both fall to their deaths into the chasm below. _It might be a thick layer of snow down there, but still…_ "Anna. Please give me the power crystal."

Anna threw the three yellow crystals she had in her pocket at Kristoff as hard as she could. "You can have those. I need this one!"

Kristoff instinctively ducked.

The next thing he knew, Anna had blinked at him in confusion before stumbling backwards right off the edge of the broken staircase. _Oh, no. Oh, no, oh no, oh no…_

"Kristoff, _help_! I'm sorry!" he heard Anna's 'real' self scream.

* * *

"Now Kiara, you know what to do. Get at least one crystal that's actually useful for each of us; and if possible, take as many as you can. Hans may or may not be here, I don't know. But let me distract whoever is in there while you get the crystals and hopefully Anikka, assuming she's in there," Elsa said firmly. "I think my plan will work, but if for any reason it doesn't, you _must_ leave me behind. I'm the one Jade wants, and she will use you to get me to capitulate to whatever she wants if she has you too. Do you understand?"

Kiara nodded, her expression serious.

"Do you promise to leave me behind if something goes wrong?" Elsa asked softly. _I won't have my friend in danger. I can deal with whatever happens if I'm alone, but not if my friends are hurt or in danger._

Kiara started to nod, but then frowned. "Snow Queen Elsa, how could I leave you behind? I seem to remember a certain somebody- _you_ -insisting that you and Anna rescue me from outright drowning. After I'd hurt you really badly. And you're still left with that." She pointed at Elsa's braced leg and then just gave the older girl a hug. "I do understand why you're saying to leave you behind, but I can't do that to you."

Elsa roughly shoved Kiara away and then winced at the increased pain in her ribs. "Kiara, snap out of it! One person is not worth all of Arendelle, and you know it!" she hissed. "You _will_ listen to me. Be logical. Think of it this way: you'd be able to go get help if something happened. All right?" Quite honestly, Elsa was rather terrified of being left alone in that cave again, but she was determined to keep Kiara safe, even if it meant putting herself in danger.

Kiara scowled, but she nodded this time. "Yes, Snow Queen Elsa. I promise."

* * *

Elsa looked around warily as she stepped slowly into the cave. She blinked several times, trying to get her eyes to adjust to the dim light from the lanterns. _Come on, Elsa, you can do this. It shouldn't be hard to act this part._ Elsa smiled and put her finger to lips to signal 'be quiet' when she spotted Anikka in the same cage-room she herself had been trapped in not so long ago. _All right, there's Espen. Time to start acting, Elsa. You aren't really lying…are you?_

 _Well, too bad, I have to do this._ Elsa purposely banged into the rocky wall and let out a quiet pained noise, as if she had been trying to muffle the sound. Truthfully her ribs _did_ hurt…she was just exaggerating. She made sure to accentuate her usual limp as she headed toward Anikka, keeping her eyes on Espen. Just as she reached Anikka, she let herself 'trip' and she unlocked the cage-room as she crumpled to the ground, making sure to lie on the side where her ribs weren't sore. Elsa winced as she dissolved the ice on her wrist-that was truthfully hurt and would lend a dose of realism to her acting. _Run out of here, Anikka. Please. Please run._

Anikka frowned as she watched Elsa. Was Elsa really hurt or was she pretending? Anikka couldn't tell, but she knew the someone named Espen wouldn't hurt Elsa. He had outright told her that he didn't like what was going on. "Mr. Espen, help Elsa!" she exclaimed. "I think Elsa hurt." And then she waited until Espen was focused on Elsa before scrambling away as fast as she could.

Elsa kept her eyes half open so she could see what was going on as Espen walked toward her. She noticed Espen look back behind him as he knelt beside her. _Someone else is here, too. Probably Hans._

Espen bit his lip as he looked at Elsa's wrist. It was genuinely swollen, but somehow Espen was sure there was something off about Elsa's behavior. Still…he could least wrap up her wrist. Maybe she was acting; maybe she wasn't. But whatever. "Hey, Prince Hans, watch the little girl for a while, will you? I really need to go do something else now." In a flash, he had scooped Elsa up and disappeared into one of the many dark shadowy areas of the cave. "I'll help you, Queen Elsa," he whispered.

Elsa pretended to slip into unconsciousness as Espen picked her up. _All right, so far, so good. Don't react to those sore ribs, Elsa. Don't._ She felt herself being carried somewhere, presumably somewhere so Hans wouldn't see Espen with her. Elsa didn't open her eyes until she felt Espen lay her down on something somewhat soft. "What…happened?" she mumbled. "Where…am I? Oh…it _hurts_ …make it go away…" _Elsa, that was stupid. You overacted there. Espen knows you didn't act like that even with those burns._

"You're in Jade's and my cave, Queen Elsa," Espen replied. "I can, um, take care of your wrist if you let me. I know how." _She's acting. I know she is._

Elsa complied and held out her wrist, but she didn't like that odd look in Espen's eyes. _He's suspicious that I'm acting._ "I'm sorry for acting so ridiculous about my wrist. I just didn't expect it, and…" she tried to cover up her previous acting 'mistake'.

Espen kept a straight face as he carefully wrapped Elsa's swollen wrist up tightly. "I'd suggest being careful using your magic with that hand for a couple weeks," he said in a neutral tone. He helped Elsa to her feet and looked her straight in the eyes. "You may be genuinely hurt, but you're also acting, Queen Elsa. You sure put on a good show, though. I wouldn't have even been suspicious if I hadn't seen the way you reacted to physical pain before. Why did you do that? If my sister had been here, she would have-"

"But she wasn't," Elsa interrupted, a hint of a smile playing at her lips. "I knew for certain you were here, and I thought Hans _might_ be." Elsa's satisfied expression vanished as she added, "I'm sorry for lying like that. I loathe lying, but I felt like the circumstances called for a little misleading. Thank you for this, though. That part was real." She held up her bandaged wrist and then dropped it to her side, her blue eyes growing worried. What if Espen refused to let her go? What if Hans hurt Kiara?

Espen noticed her mood change immediately. _She shouldn't be sorry for that. It was a good plan, really…_ "Wait here. I'll be right back." _I'll distract Hans so she can get out of here. That should work._

* * *

The second Espen had left, Kiara ducked into the little alcove where Elsa was. "I got some crystals, but I couldn't get to Anikka," Kiara whispered, gesturing at her bulging pockets. She hadn't been able to take _all_ the crystals-there were too many-but she'd grabbed as many as she could. "Hans was there and I didn't think you'd want him to see me."

Elsa instinctively shoved Kiara behind her when she heard Hans's angry voice shouting that Anikka was gone and he couldn't find her. "Stay back, Kiara. I won't have you be hurt," Elsa whispered.

Kiara rolled her eyes and grabbed her friend by the hand, luckily the non-hurt one. "I have a bunch of power crystals, dipstick!" she hissed back. "Elsa, I don't think we should use up _any_ of your magic unless it's absolutely necessary. So come on!" Kiara started to run toward the cave's exit, yanking Elsa behind her.

Elsa yanked the younger girl back instantly and just pointed silently at her braced leg. _I can't run, Kiara,_ Elsa's regretful gaze seemed to say. She pulled Kiara into the shadows and took a deep breath; then promptly wished she hadn't because her ribs still hurt. "Okay, Kiara. There are two choices here. Either we both fight our way out or you run and leave me behind. I cannot run, so don't suggest that," she said almost inaudibly.

"We fight then," Kiara announced with certainty. "But here, take a couple crystals and fight with those instead of your powers. I have a feeling you're gonna need yours later."

Elsa took the purple telekinesis crystal she'd used before and a blue crystal that she was fairly certain was water. Perhaps that one would be simple for her to use since water was a form of her own 'element'. "Thank you, Kiara. On three. One…two…three, go!"

Kiara stood back to back with Elsa so they had virtually no blind spot. She was a bit worried her friend would have trouble navigating the uneven rocky ground because of her bad leg, so she kept one hand firmly holding Elsa's upper arm, even though Elsa was obviously annoyed by that. _I'll tell Elsa why I did that once we're out of here._

To both girls' surprise, they actually made it all the way to the cave's entrance with no trouble. Elsa decided that Espen had misled Hans to another part of the cave to give them a chance to get out of there. She spotted Anikka curled up in a shadow next to the entrance and gently nudged the little girl with her foot. Anikka hopped up excitedly and almost shouted out loud, but Elsa managed to get her to stay quiet just in time.

* * *

Once they were safely outside the cave, Elsa made a face at Kiara. "Firstly, while I'm grateful that you were worried about me, I don't like you just assuming I couldn't walk out of there by myself." _Although all that uneven ground_ was _a little hard for me…anyways…_ "Never mind. Secondly…" she smiled as she held out the purple telekinesis crystal. "I think we have a new teleportation ability, don't you think?" Suddenly Elsa's smile vanished as she clasped her hands to her heart. "Anna…Anna's in trouble," she whispered. "And there's a storm coming. A natural one, though."

 **A/N: Well, Elsa is still tired, but she and Kiara managed to take some of the crystals and rescue Anikka in the process.:)**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-I PMed you, so I won't make you reread the same thing here.:)**

 **Guest-Well, I wouldn't have said that exact thing, but...agreed.:P**

 **WarriorQueen 14-Anna has the same hate thing affecting her, but she can fight it now because Elsa's magic has greatly reduced the fire magic's effects, which is what's making her act so...not Anna-ish.:P Well, Elsa does think that what she did was her duty and that she was supposed to do that.:) Oh, you can think whatever you like about Jade.:P She isn't meant to be a particularly sympathetic character nor is she really being redeemed per se, either. She's just an antagonist who's questioning her actions. She has done too much in too short a time to be really sympathetic, even though she's had a sad past. What she did to Elsa and what she caused Anna to do to her is unforgivable in my mind. She would have more sympathy from me if she'd simply killed Agdar and went on her way.:P At least that has a somewhat logical motivation, even if it's horrible and wrong. Lol, I am NOT NOT NOT pairing Espen with Elsa. Espen is, however, meant to be a foil to Jade and a sibling counterpart to Elsa. I agree; Anna is more fiery, impulsive, and grudge-holding than Elsa is. (important later, BTW...:)) Yay! I've successfully (mostly) redeemed a character.:) I still personally don't like Agdar, but I am trying to redeem him.:P He does have a tendency to be really protective of Elsa now, doesn't he?:P Well, Elsa needs it, so I guess that's fine.:)**

 **Dragonheart35-Yay!:) Thank you.:) Argh, I'll go back and edit it. Sorry about that.:P Well, Rapunzel doesn't have anything to draw with, but if she did, I can totally see her doing that.;) Yikes, no, no one is bending space-time to employ My logic was that there's a limit on the amount of matter that can be teleported, not whether that matter is living or not.:) The storm Elsa mentioned? That'll come up later.:)**

 **On to the story!:)**

MEANWHILE…

Up on the North Mountain, Kristoff had finally managed to rappel himself safely down into the chasm where Anna had fallen. "Come on, feistypants; if you're here and you can hear me, please answer!" he shouted. Kristoff was afraid of what he might find; while there was plenty of soft snow down here in the chasm, it couldn't have possibly been enough to break a fall of hundreds of feet. He tried to brace himself for finding a mangled Anna and not being able to get her out of there in time to save her.

Kristoff didn't even want to think about what the Snow Queen would do if he didn't succeed in bringing the princess back safely.

"Anna! Anna, where are you?" Kristoff kept calling for Anna, hoping she might hear him and reply. _She has to be down here. She has to be. At worst, Anna should be lying unconscious or…never mind…_ He frowned when he finally spotted her lying in the snow, one leg awkwardly twisted beneath her. "Oh, no…Anna…"

Anna's eyes blinked up at him in confusion. "Kristoff…how'd you get down here? I wouldn't suggest falling," she deadpanned.

Kristoff was so happy to find Anna alive and clearly alert that he instinctively hugged her close and gave her a kiss on the cheek. _At least Anna is…well, herself right now. As long as someone stays with her, she shouldn't turn all weird and destructive like that again._ He carefully laid her back down when she cried out in pain. "Anna, I'm sorry. Sorry, Anna. I'm sorry," Kristoff babbled, still concerned just how badly Anna was hurt.

"It's…okay…it's just…IthinkIbrokemyleg," Anna finally blurted, biting her lip as she tried not to cry. "Good grief, how does Elsa not cry when she gets hurt?! She's crazy! I mean, she cries a _lot_ , but it's never because she's physically hurt!" All Anna could think of was the downright awful pain in her leg. Sure, she'd broken bones before when she was younger, but she had never been one for dealing well with physical pain. Anna had cried when she'd broken her arm riding her bike down the stairs years ago, too. _If I'd just came to my senses a second sooner, this wouldn't have happened…_

Kristoff had already suspected that was the case, but he still hated seeing the girl he loved in pain like this. Especially when it had happened mostly because of something that wasn't her fault in the least. "Can I take a look at it, feistypants?" he asked.

"I guess so. And Elsa would tell you it's s'posed to be 'may I'," Anna said, trying to make light of the whole thing. _Ok, I gotta just…think about something else. Like…finding Elsa! Yeah. Defeating stupid old Jade._ "Too bad Rapunzel isn't up here…she's back at the castle…"

"Anna, we gotta get you back to Arendelle then. ASAP," Kristoff told her firmly. As far as he could tell, Anna's leg could be tended to fairly easily, but they had no way to splint or stabilize it down here. Kristoff wished Anna had broken that staircase instead of melting it; then there would have been insanely strong pieces of ice they could have used for a splint. "I know it's going to hurt, but can you hold on while I get us out of here?"

Anna nodded. "I think so…wait, Kristoff! I have an idea. I still have the ice crystal; I just threw the three yellow ones. I wish I hadn't thrown 'em like that…one of them was a healing crystal…never mind… Do you think I could put ice on it?" Without waiting for a reply, she sat up and then cried out because the motion had shifted her leg slightly. _Ok, I gotta be strong. Like Elsa. I can do this._ Anna bit her lip as she did her best to splint her leg with ice so it would stay still. It was simple and crude, not like the complicated thing Elsa always made for her weak leg; but Anna wasn't a natural ice mage, after all. What she had made would do the job. "It numbs it some, too! But not as much as it should…"

"Anna…I don't know if that's a good idea," Kristoff said, frowning. "You're not immune to cold like Elsa. You'll freeze yourself to death."

"I am too immune to cold, as long as I have the crystal," Anna replied. "I mean, probably not to the same extent of crazy sub-zero temperatures like Elsa, but regular ice temperature I am."

Kristoff sighed as he picked Anna up. "Please hang on, all right?"

* * *

The second Elsa, Kiara, and Anikka had teleported themselves to the North Mountain-because of Elsa's hunch that that was where Anna was-Anna and Kristoff appeared over the lip of the chasm. Elsa gasped when she saw her little sister's pained expression. "Anna, what happened?" she asked the second Kristoff had laid Anna down in the snow. Elsa bit her lip when she noticed the ice encasing her sister's leg. _That can only mean one thing…Anna must have fallen and broken something…_

Anna looked up at Elsa and managed to give her a small smile. "I guess we're gonna match for awhile. 'Cept yours doesn't hurt," she said. "Don't forget, sis, you can't touch me 'til we figure out exactly what's wrong. And I'm sorry I kind of messed up your staircase."

Elsa didn't smile back. She looked from Anna's leg to her own braced one and back again, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. The _last_ thing she wanted was for Anna to hurt her leg, even if Anna's would heal, unlike hers. Of course it just _had_ to be Anna's left one, just like her own. "I'm s-sorry, Anna," she whispered. _If I'd just gotten here sooner, I know I could have kept Anna from falling. I just know I could have!_ On impulse, Elsa crumpled into the snow and just hugged her little sister close as tightly as she could, ignoring her complaining ribs.

Kristoff and Kiara immediately dragged Elsa away from her sister, but the damage had been done. Elsa began shivering, and Anikka gave her a hug, trying to warm her up. Because it had been longer now and the effects of whatever was wrong with Anna were stronger, Elsa could not deal with the 'natural' sensation of cold. It wasn't _her_ natural. Elsa's dress didn't feel particularly bad against her skin because the ice-fabric felt more cool than cold, but her brace was another story. That felt _freezing_ to her.

Anna shook her head forcing the angry thoughts toward her big sister in her mind away. "Kristoff, make Elsa take her brace off. It's too cold for her," she said firmly. "Wait, who cares? It doesn't matter." _Stop it! Stop it, stop it, stop it. That girl is my sweet big sister. I am not going to hurt her any more._ "Elsa, I'm sorry. I promise I did _not_ mean that…"

"I know, Anna," Elsa replied quietly. "I know." _It just still hurts. I can't tell Anna that. It's not her fault._ She felt Kiara trying to find the fastenings on her brace and promptly moved her leg aside. "Please leave it alone…please…and you aren't going to be able to get it off anyway. There aren't any fastenings at all." _Elsa, take it off. You can't have all that ice against your skin right now._ Elsa scrunched her eyes shut as she dissolved the ice on her leg away. "I c-can't walk now," she mumbled, half to herself and half to the others. _You cannot freak out, Elsa. Do_ not _freak out._

Little Anikka just gazed up at Elsa's ice palace in wonder. Even with the broken staircase, it looked absolutely amazing to Anikka. It looked exactly like the doll-sized ice palace back in Elsa's room at the castle. Keeping her eyes glued to the sparkling towering spires that reached far above her, Anikka plopped herself down in the snow next to Elsa and snuggled close to her. "So pretty," she whispered.

Elsa put one arm around Anikka as she tried to think what they should do next. _I don't dare use that telekinesis crystal to teleport us all back home. I'll kill it for sure, and it might not even work anyway… Anna can't walk, and neither can I. Anikka can't walk all the way back to Arendelle, either; she's too little. I don't know…_

"Hey, Elsa, I think I might have a plan. At least a rough one. If you want to hear it, that is," Kristoff said after a short period of silence.

"Of course I want to hear it." Elsa looked up at Kristoff expectantly, waiting to hear his plan. _I don't need to always be the 'mastermind' of everything. I shouldn't boss my friends and family around all the time._

"Well, this won't get us all the way back to Arendelle, but it'd get us started. I'll carry Anna, and Kiara can help you. We'll just stop whenever Anikka's legs get tired," Kristoff told her.

Elsa's expression remained neutral, but the look in her blue eyes made Kristoff squirm. She looked thoroughly disgusted and every inch of her screamed that she was the Snow Queen, even though she was sitting on the ground holding Anikka. "Kristoff, there is something very wrong with that plan and you know it," she said coolly. _He has to be kidding! I can't walk at all without a brace, even if someone was helping me. And certainly not Kiara-she's smaller than I am._

"What, Queen Elsa?" Kristoff asked, taken aback by her response. "Do you have a better idea?"

"No, I do not. I. Can't. Stand. Up. Did you forget that, Kristoff?" Elsa paused for a moment, her voice sounding completely detached from the situation. "What makes you think Kiara could help me walk down a mountain when I can't even stand up? That is _not_ going to work." _Kristoff is crazy. I'd just collapse before we'd gone two feet._

Olaf came waddling over to them, holding out a yellow crystal that now had white and clear swirls appearing in it. "I think we oughta all fly home!" he announced. "Look!" Olaf had figured out that the crystal he had found controlled the very air around him.

Anikka's face brightened considerably as she looked up at Elsa. "Can we fly, Elsa?"

* * *

BACK IN ARENDELLE…

"Look, I don't know who you are, but I _promise_ you my daughter will punish you exactly as you deserve the second she returns!" Agdar shouted angrily. "Did you forget that the king and queen of Corona may also wish to have Princess Rapunzel back? Arendelle and Corona are closely tied, as most everyone knows."

"You think Queen Elsa will punish me for locking up the very person that did the same to her since she was a kid?" Rolf retorted. "I wouldn't. I'd let you stay down here in the dungeon to rot for all eternity. Also I highly, highly doubt she would punish me…or Hans…or Jade…or Espen… 'exactly as we deserve'. She seems to be against capital punishment."

Agdar glared at Rolf and said nothing for a moment, knowing he had a point. There was no way Elsa would come back and rule that anyone be executed. She would probably end up banishing all of them from Arendelle permanently and that was it. "You should not risk enraging the…Snow Queen by hurting her family and friends," he said finally, referring to Elsa by her signature title for the first time in his life.

Rolf narrowed his eyes at Agdar. "You don't even like her powers. You think she's defective. You would like her much better if she wasn't an ice mage. You should be happy Jade wants to take her powers away from her." Satisfied that he had hit a nerve, Rolf turned and left the cell, locking the door behind him. _I'm so glad Jade released me from down here…_

Inside the cell, Agdar sank onto the stone bench and put his head in his hands. "Idun…"

"What, Agdar? Don't tell me what he said isn't true. I know it is. You don't want Elsa hurt, but you do still want her to be the girl you want her to be," Idun said quietly. "You may love Elsa herself, but you resent her powers and her messed up leg. I know you do." _What right do I have to say that? I myself tried to force her to stand up when she'd already said she couldn't._

Agdar shook his head. "I am actually more angry about it than anything else. Why should someone like Elsa be stuck in that condition? I've realized that those special abilities of hers are here to stay and no one can take them away from her. But she wasn't born with her leg like that! If she had been born that way, that would be different. Why did that have to happen to her? Maybe if Elsa's legs worked properly, she would have been able to get away from that cave before Jade hurt her like she did!"

Before Idun could reply, they both heard a series of muffled yelps from somewhere nearby. "…stop it! …Elsa's gonna get you for… …help!...please?" Then another voice, "Be quiet, will you?" Agdar and Idun both looked at each other, wondering what to do. They knew exactly what was going on-Rolf was hurting Rapunzel, which confused both of them. "Rapunzel can heal herself," Idun said quietly. "I know she can."

"That isn't the point." Agdar turned toward the direction the noises were coming from and bellowed. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! Leave the Coronian princess alone, you worthless halfwit!"

They received no reply.

* * *

Alternating between using the aerokinesis crystal and the telekinesis crystal, Elsa and her small entourage made it to the Valley of the Living Rock. As Elsa had hoped, Jade was not there now. "Jade is most likely at her hideout cave by now. My hunch is that she checked Arendelle castle, discovered I wasn't there, and decided to check the cave. With any luck, we should be able to stay one step ahead of her like we have been doing," Elsa explained her logic. _Unless she comes back here because she's angry she wasn't able to find me anywhere else…_ "Kiara, let's examine the crystals you took, all right? We need to hurry. Grand Pabbie?"

The old troll rolled toward the little group and woke up. "You have brought back some of the crystals, I see. Queen Elsa, please remember that we trolls cannot actually use the power crystals. Only humans can. We use the power crystals only to survive. If trolls could actually use all these crystals, it would be horrifically dangerous. Too much power for one group, you see," Pabbie said.

Before anyone could say or do anything else, a painfully bright flash appeared and everyone except Elsa was thrown backwards a good ten feet. Thunder crashed, despite the fact that Elsa was fairly certain it was too cold for thunderstorms. _Wait…not here, though. It's always warmer here in the troll valley._ Elsa's eyes went wide when she realized there was a shimmering blue glow surrounding her entire body. _Jade is here. That wasn't natural. It was magic. What am I supposed to do?!_ Elsa tried to scramble to her feet, forgetting about her bad leg, and immediately collapsed. "Jade, leave my country and my people alone!" she shouted. _I'm scared. I don't even know what power Jade is using. And I can feel my powers aren't completely back to normal yet._

Kiara jumped up, ignoring her bruises, and ran from one of her allies to another. _I figured out what a few of these are…_ "Anna, pain manipulation. Kristoff, earth manipulation. Anikka-" Suddenly Kiara found all the other crystals she had whisked away from her. "Jade, give those back, you moron!" she yelled.

"Magnets," Jade replied in a neutral tone. She spotted the purple telekinesis crystal on the ground where Elsa had dropped it in surprise and took that one too. Instantly Kiara was clawing at her neck, trying to get rid of whatever was choking her.

"ELSA! Snap out of it!" Kiara gasped out as loudly as she could.

Elsa instinctively sent an icicle flying to Jade's hand, but the icicle mysteriously reversed direction and headed straight back to Elsa. She ducked and scooted a few feet away. _Well, at least Jade dropped Kiara when she had to avoid the ice._ Elsa bit her lip as she glanced at the ground. _I need to level the playing field. I can't walk, but I'm at home on ice. Jade won't be, even with all the crystals._ Instantly the ground was covered with a sheen of ice, just barely thick enough to be slippery. Elsa shivered; the effects of Anna's decreased-immunity-to-cold thing still hadn't worn off.

While Elsa was occupied, Jade pulled all of Elsa's allies to her the same way she'd taken the crystals from Kiara. Jade knew the crystal's abilities were almost completely depleted now, but that was all she needed. She yanked the crystal Anna was holding away from her (Anna stuck out her tongue) and held it out in her palm to Elsa. "You'd better listen, Elsa," she announced. "I need you for something. If you cooperate, I'll let all of them go. After I get what I want from you, of course."

Elsa frowned, not even sure what the crystal Jade was holding did. _If I give myself up, Jade isn't going to let them go. She'll hurt them to make sure I 'cooperate'. I don't trust her to keep her word._ "I'll not do any such thing," she replied firmly. "You will never win, Jade. This is _my_ country and _my_ friends, not yours!" _What does that thing do? I need to get the crystals away from her. I have to!_

Jade released everyone from the magnet-hold, but she squeezed the crystal hard in her fist and focused on Anna. "Odynokinesis, Elsa," she said flatly.

"What?! I don't know what that is!" Elsa shot back frantically. _What is she doing to my sister?!_

And then Anna screamed. "Elsa, _help_! Make it stop! It hurts!"

"You're a natural mage and you don't even know what other kinesis-based powers are called," Jade scoffed. She turned away from Anna, who just continued crying and holding her broken leg, and focused not on Elsa, but the rock behind her. _Come on, this has to work. Bounce off the rock and 'accidentally' hit Elsa. That shouldn't make her powers react since it's indirect._

 _I should not be doing this. Elsa hasn't done anything wrong. It's her parents…_

Elsa felt her powers react a moment too late. If her magic had been at full strength, she would have managed to avoid the attack entirely; but right now, it didn't. Elsa clasped her hands to her heart and scrunched her eyes shut. It felt like something was physically breaking her heart inside. Snow swirled violently around her as she became lost in emotional pain. _I'm sorry, Anna. I'm sorry you don't have someone better for a sister. I'm sorry I hurt you. …defective…messed up…freak…worthless…_

And then just as quickly, Elsa felt her own ice take over and repulse all the hurt away again. Elsa was still trembling, but now she was downright angry. How dare that Jade use that against her. How dare she outright physically hurt her precious little sister?! _I'm drained. I can't fight right now._

 _I have to! Anna needs me to._

Pabbie gently touched Elsa's shoulder. The slender girl was shaking all over and she looked exhausted, but he could tell she still had a bit of energy left. "Use your feelings, Queen Elsa," he said quietly. "You will know what to do. You will know."

On nothing but instinct, Elsa held her hands out as she kept her eyes closed and channeled all her feelings into… _something._ She needed to do this. She had to. _My ice will respond to my feelings. It will! I know it will. I'm angry. I'm scared. I'm hurt. I'm…confident? I'm confident? Yes, I am._

 _I am. I am confident. I love Anna and I am going to protect her and the rest of my friends._

 _I can do this._

As Elsa's creation finished forming, its creator collapsed into unconsciousness.

 **A/N: Well, everyone but Rapunzel, Agdar, and Idun is in the Valley of the Living Rock.:P Main climax next chapter!:) (There'll be several chapters after that to wrap things up and everything properly.:))**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **princessdianaofparadiseisland-Well, you'll find out what Elsa made in this chapter.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-And I PM'ed you, so I won't make you reread the same thing here.:)**

 **Dragonheart35-Yep, I think it was pretty much a given that Elsa just made a living thing again.:) Well, Elsa's ice construct isn't a little cute snowman like Olaf. I'll just say that for now.:P Elsa doesn't have any books on magic...I mean, I think she would have read them by now if she had access to such a thing. (That's why I decided she gets to look at the book Jade took from the trolls eventually.:P) Really, while Jade was being really mean, she does have a point...Elsa is a natural mage and she knows next to nothing about magic.:P You're right, the girl seriously needs someone to teach her.:) I'll say Rolf did not have a power crystal, so Rapunzel isn't in trouble as far as that goes. (But she can still get exhausted.:P) Battle scene/climax is in this chapter.:)**

 **readeronly76-Thank you!:)**

 **Mandy-Oh yes, things can get worse.:P But then everyone gets a happy ending.:) Yeah, Elsa isn't very good at acting...or rather, she's really good at acting and not so good at acting 'in character' for herself.:P Oh well.:) (Elsa, you tried. Have a hug.:P) Exactly-Agdar isn't very accepting of the 'everyone is different' fact. He really needs to just spend some time with Elsa and truly get to know her better. She's still his little girl, twenty-one years old or not. Well, thank you all the same.:) (Also it's easy to make typos, and I understood it just fine. No big deal.:P)**

 **DodgersGirl-Thank you!:) Well, I'm glad you like reading about Elsa, but I still hope you get better all the same.:) And yes, Elsa can manage with her bad leg; she just needs her brace and she can't run, period. (Obviously she tries to avoid climbing up and down stairs and things like that...she _can_ ; she just tries to use her magic to slide down the stairs instead, things like that.:P) [See, Elsa, my friend _likes_ reading about you. Have a virtual hug.:P]**

 **On to the story!:) {Um...potential trigger warning? I'll let the readers decide.:)}**

Jade's eyes went wide in fear when she saw just what Elsa had made. _Was she holding out or something?! That pitiful little thing just made a huge ice dragon! A dragon!_ She spotted Elsa's tiny form lying motionless on the ground and frowned. So the girl hadn't been holding out, really…she had just used every bit of strength and energy she'd had to make that thing. A second later, Jade found herself trapped to her chin in a thick block of ice.

Elsa's ice dragon wasn't really _that_ big, but it was intimidating-looking. Thick icy armor covered its body. Its tail appeared innocuous enough…until you noticed it had a barbed stinger like that of a stingray in its tail. (It could withdraw the stinger at its choosing, though.) Along its neck there was a large frill like a frilled lizard's, except that its edges were razor-sharp when it was in defense mode, like now. Usually the dragon would simply look like a friendly albeit huge pet lizard. Elsa's ice dragon made a contented noise and just stared at Jade with its shining blue eyes.

Kristoff, Anna, and Kiara were shocked motionless; but Anikka hopped to her feet and slowly tiptoed over to the dragon. "Elsa made dragon," she whispered in wonder. "Elsa made dragon!" When the little girl saw Elsa, she called Elsa's name and ran over to her. "Elsa, wake up! Please?"

The dragon turned around and gently nudged Elsa's bandaged wrist with its nose. It seemed puzzled as to why Elsa didn't get up, but it knew it belonged to Elsa. The dragon swished its long tail impatiently as it waited for Elsa to move, not knowing the ice it had contained Jade with was now shattered.

Jade shot a blast of fire at the dragon, hoping the thing would melt. She succeeded only in catching the dragon's attention. _What am I supposed to do?! She covered that thing in her impenetrable ice! Wait…_ Jade glanced from the fire crystal to the dragon and back again. "Take that!" Wave after wave of fire shot toward the dragon, starting to melt its icy armored scales, but only barely.

Elsa's dragon made a pained noise and looked from Elsa's still body to Jade and back to Elsa again. _Elsa would want me to fight. She probably wants me to protect everyone for her because she could not do it on her own._ With that thought, the dragon immediately breathed spiky walls of ice around it and Jade, making sure Elsa and everyone else were safe outside of it. Then it stared at Jade with its shining blue eyes, daring her to attack again. _The crystals need to be taken from this person._

Jade squirmed under the dragon's icy glare. "How on earth did that skinny girl make a huge fighting creature like this?!" she muttered. _She made a huge life form. I knew she could make life, but I didn't think she actually would…_ Jade screamed in fear as the dragon easily pushed her down on her back and pinned her to the ground with one paw. She frowned, realizing that the dragon hadn't actually hurt her by slamming her down hard-it had used just enough force to push her over and not a bit more. _So this thing is merciful, just like Elsa herself…I wonder if I can trick it into letting me go…_ With that thought, Jade held up both hands as if she were surrendering. "I give up! Let me go…please! I give up!"

The dragon only stared at her and blinked, knowing this person wasn't trustworthy. It hadn't realized it had released enough pressure on Jade to let her wiggle away, though. A second later, the dragon howled as Jade cracked through the ice wall surrounding them, but only in Elsa's direction. Immediately the dragon spread its wings and took to the air; then howled again before flying straight up into the air.

* * *

Jade tiptoed toward Anna, only to find a very angry Kristoff and Kiara blocking Elsa, Anna, and Anikka from harm. Elsa still lay on the ground unconscious; Anna didn't dare touch her for fear she might affect Elsa's powers further. Anikka was just curled up next to Elsa, refusing to leave her alone. Jade whipped out a gray crystal and then abruptly shoved it back in her pocket and grinned before pulling out a different one. _I hope this is the right one…_ Jade clutched the crystal in her fist and closed her eyes, willing Elsa's ice dragon to come to her.

"What the heck are you doing?!" Kristoff shouted, running towards Jade to take the crystal.

"Summoning a dragon. Thought it was useless crystal since dragons have been extinct for thousands of years…dracokinesis…but I guess not." Jade grinned and stepped back as the big ice dragon came hurtling out of the sky. "Keep them away from me until I say otherwise," she ordered.

The dragon abruptly halted in midair and shook its head.

Jade held the crystal out again and glared at the dragon.

The dragon shook its head again, as if struggling not to obey these new orders. If Elsa had been awake and fully alert, the dragon would have been able to resist it; but without Elsa's help, it couldn't fight it any longer. It turned on Kristoff and Kiara.

* * *

Jade walked toward Elsa, but addressed Anna. "See, she failed again, didn't she? Elsa will take ages to recover emotionally, if she ever does. Why should you be stuck with a broken little girl like her for a sister?" she asked nonchalantly. _I don't believe a word of what I just said…Elsa isn't broken. If she was, she wouldn't have managed to make that dragon. I'm still so angry with her._ On impulse, Jade kicked Elsa hard, and Elsa whimpered in pain, but she didn't wake up entirely. Jade abruptly turned away from her, and Anikka threw a rock at Jade, upset that she hadn't been able to keep Jade from hurting Elsa. (It missed.)

Anikka shook Elsa's shoulder gently, trying to get her to wake up entirely. "Elsa, it all right." _Not all right. Everything's all messed up._ Anikka didn't know what to say, really. There were tears slowly trickling down Elsa's cheeks, and she kept saying that she had messed up, even though she wasn't completely awake.

All Elsa knew was that something had gone horribly wrong-she had no idea what. She felt so exhausted and her magic so depleted that her whole body ached terribly. Elsa managed to open her eyes partway and saw Anikka sitting next to her. "Get…'way from…me 'fore…she hurts you too," she whispered. Elsa tried to move her arm to push Anikka away from her, but her body was just too weak to respond. _What happened? I know something's wrong, but…what? And Anikka needs to get away from me. She's going to get hurt…_

Anikka tried unsuccessfully to keep from crying as she watched Elsa struggling to move. She scooted closer and just hugged Elsa as tightly as she could. Anikka didn't know what to say, but she knew the older girl needed help inside. She looked terrified. Hugs would help fix that, wouldn't they?

A few feet away, Jade kept badgering Anna, knowing the princess was already fighting with herself inside. "See, just look at her. She's crying again. Relying on a little kid to make her feel better." _This has to work soon before Elsa realizes exactly what I did. The dragon will listen to her again…_ "Don't you think it would be a much better idea to give her something real to cry about? I know you do…"

Anna glanced from Elsa to Jade and back again. With both Jade and the fire magic badgering her, she could barely keep from cracking under all the pressure. "Elsa's my sister. She's my _sister_. It doesn't matter what she's done or hasn't done; I can't hurt her on purpose!

"What difference would it make? She's already crying, over absolutely nothing! If Elsa was hurt, then I get to be in charge of Arendelle for awhile, like I should be. "The spare", indeed. It's Elsa's turn to be the spare.

"I wouldn't just be hurting her physically! That would prob'ly break her inside. Elsa just needs hugs and someone to love and take care of her!"

"You think someone who can be broken inside easily like that should be queen?" Jade asked, hoping that would be enough to push Anna over the edge. _This is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. What if Anna listens to me? What would that really do to Elsa? I don't believe it would permanently hurt her, but she'd be really upset…_ Elsa could hear Anna and Jade talking, and she was trembling violently in the little girl's arms, unable to do anything but listen to what was going on. She wanted to go _home_. She heard Anna fighting with herself and immediately knew Anna was fighting a losing battle. It was inevitable. Memories of what had happened in the cave before flashed through her mind again and again, using up what tiny dregs of strength she had left that were keeping her conscious. _It hurts. Everything hurts…I want my real baby sister back…_ "Anikka…go 'way…" she whispered, half registering something right next to them. "Don't want…you hurt…"

The dragon had registered Elsa nearby since she was conscious, and it abruptly snapped itself out of the effects from the crystal. _Elsa is hurting. She is upset._

Anikka was still crying, but she realized Anna's and Jade's presence next to her and Elsa just in time. On instinct, she flung herself over Elsa just as the older girl slipped unconscious again, and the hit meant for Elsa got little Anikka in the arm instead. Anikka screamed in pain and whimpered as she curled up next to Elsa, clutching her arm to her chest. "Go away, you meanie!" she shouted. "Go away, go away, go away!"

Anna snapped out of what she was doing and clapped her hands to her mouth when she realized what had happened. "Jade, you just…!" _I just tried to attack Elsa. And hit a five-year-old instead. And Anikka is not all right._

* * *

Elsa's dragon howled in anger and grabbed Jade with its feet, shaking her violently until she had dropped all the crystals. _You hurt Elsa. You made Anna hurt Anikka. You hurt all of them!_ Then it abruptly but carefully picked Elsa up in its mouth and spread its wings before flying off towards the North Mountain.

"Dragon, you come back with my sister!" Anna screamed, but it was no use. The dragon was gone, along with Elsa and Jade. "Kristoff, now what?" she asked worriedly. "That thing took Elsa and Jade with it. And Elsa's unconscious! What are we supposed to do?" _What does it matter? Elsa hurt me before. I shouldn't have to rescue her._

 _Shut up! Elsa NEVER hurt me on purpose. Stop thinking like that. I'll end up hurting her further. Elsa can't take it…she's already so traumatized and stressed. She needs help._

 _That isn't my problem. It's hers. It's not my fault she's twenty-one years old and still can't deal with her emotions properly._

 _No, it's not my fault, but it's not Elsa's, either! It's Mom's and Dad's fault. I have to help Elsa learn how her emotions work and how to deal with them, that's all._

Kiara grinned, standing in the middle of the pile of crystals. "I think Elsa will be fine as long as she wakes up soon. Jade hasn't got any crystals with her anymore!"

* * *

Once they were at Elsa's ice palace, the dragon dropped Jade and carefully laid Elsa down. Elsa still hadn't woken up. She looked peaceful, like she knew everything was okay now. The dragon's face, surprisingly expressive, grew worried as it nudged Elsa's wrist again and then sniffed at her ribs. _She is hurt_. The dragon curled its tail protectively around her and huffed at Jade, who was just staring in shock at the whole thing.

"Can you, like, wake her up or something, dragon?" Jade asked. "I need her for something!" _There's no way I can get past that dragon, especially not without the crystals. I've…lost. If Elsa can make a dragon, she can probably fix Anna. What am I supposed to do? Everything was all for nothing._ "I'm sorry," she mumbled, thinking of her parents. "I haven't succeeded in _anything_ …" Jade's eyes flicked to the chasm only a few feet away. What would it hurt if she just jumped down there? Elsa had the right to execute her, although something told her Elsa probably wouldn't do that. Espen could go and live his own life without her; after all, Espen had never liked her plans to begin with. Jade decided she would try one last thing; if it didn't work, she was going to do it. Elsa was here. She could go tell everyone what had happened.

The dragon lay down, shielding Elsa with one wing as it kept its icy eyes concentrated on Jade. _Do not hurt her._

A few seemingly endless minutes later, Elsa stirred and slowly blinked her eyes, trying to wake herself up completely. She felt at home in the cold again, but she also felt utterly exhausted. And what on earth was she curled up under? _Where am I? And what happened?_

Sensing the girl was waking up, Elsa's dragon moved and looked intently at its creator. "Sssss," it hissed, although in a friendly way.

Elsa screamed. "Wha…what's that?! I…it's…it's a dragon! Where did that come from?!" she babbled incoherently. _Wait…I made that! I made her. I did that. She helped me._ "Hi…Linnae," she whispered, the name just randomly popping into her head. "Did you fix everything?" Elsa still lay flat on her back in the snow because she felt too weak and tired to sit up.

The newly christened Linnae gently helped Elsa sit up before shaking her head hard. _Everything is not fixed. But Anna is safe._

Elsa smiled, somehow understanding her dragon's thoughts. "Thank you for helping, Linnae." _Where is Jade, then? Oh…oh, no…_

 _Jade is right in front of you. Silly Elsa!_ Linnae looked awfully pleased with herself for saying…thinking that.

"Queen Elsa," Jade started, "I have one more offer. Either you give me what I want or I'll jump into the crevasse. In the part where there's rocks and ice at the bottom, not snow."

"Jade, stop talking nonsense," Elsa said firmly, her exhausted body still being supported by Linnae. Without the ice dragon, Elsa would have collapsed on her back again. "Not only do I not believe that you would jump, at least I don't think so… I _can't_ give you what you want. You've lost, Jade. This is the end of the debate." _Wait…what if she is telling the truth?! It was pure luck Anna 'only' had a broken leg. Jade would most likely be dead._

Jade edged closer to the side, her proud expression beginning to falter. "I'll ask you again. I'll commit s...suicide if you don't help me."

Somehow Elsa could tell Jade wasn't joking. Besides, even if she was, she couldn't risk someone committing suicide partly because of her. _I myself tried that. I won't let someone else do that if I can prevent it. Even if it is Jade. And I'm a hundred percent sure whatever she wants to do with me won't work anyway. Maybe that would snap some sense into Jade's head._ Elsa's voice trembled as she gave her reply. "What is it you w-wanted to do with me?" she asked in a small voice. Elsa weakly laid her hand on Linnae's nose, preventing her from attacking the girl by the chasm below.

Jade was so surprised at Elsa's response she wasn't sure what to say. _She's actually thinking about cooperating?! That means I still have a chance! If Elsa lets me do what I want, Arendelle will be Espen's and mine in no time!_ "I…need some blood. Because I think your powers are in it somehow," she blurted. "I don't want to kill you, though." _That's the truth._ Jade paused and drew herself up to her full height, her usual proud countenance back again. "So what'll it be, Elsa? I jump, or you cooperate?"

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, but she nodded. "I'll cooperate," she said softly. "No, Linnae, it's okay," Elsa told the worried dragon. "Don't attack her. It's okay…it's okay." _You're saving someone's life, Elsa. You're doing the right thing._ Elsa bit her lip and forced herself not to struggle when she felt a sharp stinging sensation as Jade sliced her forearm open. Ice spread beneath her as she tried not to react to the pain. It wasn't that she couldn't deal with it; it was just awful to actually _allow_ herself to be hurt like that. "Jade, please…hurry up," she said urgently. "I won't be…able to not react anymore soon…"

* * *

When Elsa opened her eyes a few seconds later, she took one glace at the gash on her arm and immediately sealed it with ice, not knowing what else to do. Linnae snuffled at her injured arm and huffed. _Why did you let her do that to you, Elsa?_

"I had to, Linnae," Elsa told the dragon quietly. "I had to."

That was when Jade suddenly broke down in loud, angry sobs. "It didn't work! I should have known it wouldn't! Why did I ever believe you?! Everything's hopeless…everything's _ruined_! Everything! That was my last hope!" _Even if I did kill her, it wouldn't help. I know it wouldn't._ "Good-bye, Queen Elsa," Jade said in a slightly calmer voice. _I will see my parents again. Won't I…? I hope so._ "Change your mind about the Arendelle empire," she said flatly. Then she flung herself over the edge.

Elsa screamed in horror. "Linnae, rescue her! _Please_!" she begged. When the dragon shook her head, Elsa tried to push her away. "Linnae, catch Jade! I don't want her to die like that!" _Jade's going to die, and it's partly my fault. She just tried to kill herself!_

 _Like I did when I was eighteen…why? Why did Jade do that?! I said I would help her and Espen. I tried!_ Elsa barely registered the feeling of collapsing onto her back since Linnae wasn't helping her sit up anymore. She weakly held her sore arm close and tried not to cry. Even though Jade had treated her horribly, she still didn't want Jade to die. She wanted to help. She wanted to heal the hurt inside Jade. _Anna rescued me. Why couldn't I rescue Jade? Why?_

A minute later, Linnae deposited Jade next to Elsa. _What did you have me do that for?_ she asked. _I found her. She had already landed, though. On rocks._

"She needs help. Just like…me," Elsa said softly. She could tell on first glance the other girl was still breathing, but she was also seriously injured. One arm was clearly broken; there was a deep cut across her forehead; and there was blood coming from the corner of her mouth. _I don't know how to take care of her, but maybe we can get her back to Rapunzel in time to save her._ "Linnae, take us to the castle," Elsa said firmly. She forced herself to sit up and dragged herself onto Linnae's back before the dragon lifted Jade with one wing and slid her to Elsa. "Stay alive, Jade. Please," she whispered. Elsa was struggling to hold herself on Linnae's back, and she kept her arms wrapped around Jade to keep her from falling. _I have to stay awake. Please don't die, Jade. Please. I have to save you. I have to. Anna helped me; I can help you then, too._

"You'll…always be…the hero…huh?" Jade choked out, surprising Elsa. _Why couldn't she have just let me die? I treated her cruelly every time I was around her… "_ Stupid ice angel..."

"You're just a girl like me," Elsa replied gently. "I know what...wanting to…kill yourself feels like," she added, her blue eyes filled with tears. "It's not the answer; it won't fix anything. Espen would miss you, Jade."

"I think…it's too late…for me." Jade coughed and choked, trying to catch her breath. _Everything hurts. Why did Elsa try to rescue me? She's crazy. I'm going to die anyway. She can't get someone to take care of me fast enough. I know she can't._ "I'm…sorry, El- _Queen_ …Elsa…"

Elsa bit her lip hard, but she didn't try to keep her tears from falling. "I forgive you, Jade," she said sincerely.

* * *

Linnae simply blasted the doors to the castle open and nonchalantly marched down the steps to the dungeon per Elsa's instructions. The dragon barely fit down the corridor, but she kept going. Rolf immediately released Agdar and Idun the second he saw the ice dragon with no prompting from Elsa. "I…I'll get your cousin, too…she's kind of…"

"Kind of what?" Elsa demanded. "What did you do to her?! Mama, Papa, go get the doctor, please. Now!" _Is Rapunzel all right? What did Rolf do to her?_ Elsa still felt so, so tired; and she just couldn't keep herself upright any longer. _Please…please help Jade…please…I have to go get the others from the Valley of the Living Rock…I'm so tired…_

 **A/N: So...yeah. That happened.:/ I'd been planning this since the beginning of the story, but I'd like to hear everyone's opinions about the fight and then what happened on the North Mountain with Elsa and Jade.**

 **Well, Elsa tried her best to save Jade, but it remains to be seen if she actually succeeded in doing so. :P**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**

 **P.S. I know I owe people PM's...I'll reply as soon as I can.:)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **DodgersGirl-That WOULD be really cool.:) I'm glad you liked Linnae, and, well...I kinda both hate and feel a bit sorry for Jade, so...:P**

 **QueenofIcelandia-Maybe, maybe not.:) Both of those questions are answered in this chapter.:)**

 **the green baron-I promise the questionable-ness behind Elsa's decision will be addressed soon. While I understand COMPLETELY why you think Elsa should have ordered Linnae to kill Jade, I just can't see Elsa abruptly deciding to have someone executed, no matter what horrible things that person has done. Elsa does, however, need help. ASAP. She's too stressed and traumatized, and she needs to have some downtime and let herself calm down and rest.:P (I'll say right now Elsa isn't stepping down from her position, but she _will_ let Anna help her.:))**

 **Mandy-Yay, I'm glad you liked Elsa's ice dragon!:) Well, Kristoff can always carry Anna...and you're right, Elsa is definitely not going to go back and get them. She just plain physically can't. Yep, Linnae can 'talk' to Elsa...after all, Elsa made her, so why not?:) Agreed, Jade should _not_ have convinced Elsa that it was okay to take her blood. That was wayyy out of line.:/ Elsa probably understood Jade far too much for her own good...she tried to save the same person that was trying to commit treason all over the place.:P (Elsa, _why_?! Okay, okay, I know why. But you still care about people too much.:/ Here's a hug.:)) Both Agdar and Idun probably half expected Elsa to come home like that...but still, I'm sure they would be very worried about their daughter.:P Sorry I didn't update this weekend.:P**

 **princessdianaofparadiseisland-Elsa is not broken. She's going to be okay; she just needs help.:) Sis, I told you before-the trolls and Rapunzel can't heal Elsa's leg. If either of them could, that would have happened ages ago! :P That being said, just...keep reading.:)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Your decision! Jade is the antagonist; if you wanted her to survive, then fine. If you wanted her to die, that's also fine.:P (I wrote this chapter without any outside input as far as Jade living/dying goes, so...:P)**

 **raven678-Glad you liked it!:) Well, that will be revealed in this chapter.:)**

 **Dragonheart35-Well, I haven't decided on OTHER constructs (since Elsa is the only one who can do such a thing), but yes, Elsa's dragon obeys the laws of organic dragons (at least the ones I've made up-I don't know if yours are different:)). Linnae is actually closely tied to Elsa-hence why she can immediately break away from the crystal's power the second she senses Elsa is conscious. Also Linnae can 'talk' to Elsa telepathically (Elsa has to respond verbally though-Linnae can't read her thoughts!), and she can easily understand anyone else's words, too. Linnae just can't talk back to others verbally; she'll respond with different facial expressions and actions. Kinda the vibe I get from Toothless in HTTYD that he can understand Hiccup but doesn't talk.:) [Tangent here...Toothless seems really smart to me. Smarter than he might let on...:)] Yes, that is probably what Elsa should have done-it would have saved her from Jade cutting her arm-but Elsa also wasn't entirely sure whether Linnae would really listen to her. After all, Linnae did make Elsa ask twice before fetching Jade for her.:P Well, that IS exactly what Linnae did. XD Oh, Jade wants magic, Elsa's magic specifically, because she wants Elsa's position of authority and use it to make Arendelle an empire. She doesn't care one bit what happens to Elsa herself. Jade would leave Elsa alone entirely if Elsa decided to make Arendelle an empire. Then Jade would "only" be wanting to kill Agdar, since she blames him for her parents' deaths.**

 **Awesomewolf-Thank you!:) Lol, I have SO many things going on right now, but I will keep the idea in mind. If I ever write it, I'll be sure to give you credit for the idea, though.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-And I PMed you, so I won't make you reread the same thing here.:)**

 **On to the story!:)**

Elsa only vaguely registered events for the next…well, she wasn't sure how long. She knew someone had picked her up from the dungeon floor and taken her to the infirmary. She knew Rapunzel had somehow been hurt and that she couldn't use her magic right now. She knew her former enemy, Jade, had been taken to the infirmary as well. Worried voices swirled around her, and she still felt so achy, like something was missing inside her. _My magic is sleepy,_ she thought absently.

A blurry shape…no, shapes?...she wasn't sure…hovered above her, and she thought someone was asking her just what had happened and if she felt all right. _Go help Rapunzel and Jade,_ Elsa thought. Elsa tried to force herself back to alertness, but her exhausted body and mind wouldn't let her. Someone gently probed the gash on her arm, and the pain sent her back to blackness, even though it wasn't that bad at all. "Jade…need help…no…die," she mumbled. Elsa felt a gentle hand stroking her hair, and she briefly thought that that was probably her mother before losing consciousness entirely.

"Gerda, she just blacked out entirely," Idun said worriedly. "Her hand just went completely limp." _Elsa, please be ok. You have to._

"Mrs. Grieg, she's fine. Miss Elsa just made herself so worn out using her powers too much. Remember when she was sixteen or so and she made herself sick? I'll bet at present it won't take her nearly as long to regain her strength as it did then." Gerda frowned as she looked closely at Elsa's arm. "Mrs. Grieg, look at this. Doesn't it look like someone sliced her arm neatly on purpose? Very odd…"

Idun refused to look. "Gerda, just take care of Elsa. I don't want to think about what happened to her. Just…bandage her up and put her to bed. Please," she said softly. _Elsa, please be all right. You're just my sweet little girl no matter what. You're safe at home now._

Agdar glanced at Elsa's arm and narrowed his eyes. "I'll bet that treasonous idiot Jade that Elsa tried to save for some reason did that to her, and Elsa let her do it," he said flatly. Agdar awkwardly gave Elsa's good hand a squeeze before turning away. _She'll be fine. As soon as she's better, I am going to have a good long talk with her about this._

* * *

When Elsa came to, she found herself in bed in her own room and feeling much, much better. It was dark outside now, and Elsa could both sense and hear sleet falling hard outside. _So that was the storm I sensed was coming earlier. Where's Anna?_ Elsa slowly sat up, wincing at the pain in her ribs and her right arm. A quick peek told her that her ribs had been bandaged, as well as the gash on her arm and her twisted wrist. She frowned, realizing she was wearing her favorite light blue nightgown, not her sparkly white ice-dress from before.

Elsa decided she hoped her mother or Gerda had changed her clothes and not anyone else. Even then, Elsa wasn't comfortable with the idea of someone seeing her like that. "They should have let me do it myself when I woke up," she said to herself.

She finally noticed that Anna was lying next to her sleeping peacefully, her broken leg propped up with pillows. _Anna's safe. She's safe. If Anna is here, that means Kristoff, Anikka, and Kiara are probably here too. Where's Rapunzel? I think she was hurt. She must be hurt, or she would have healed Anna and me._ Elsa impulsively hugged Anna tightly. "I'm so glad we're back home safe," she told her.

Anna blinked a few times and then grinned at her sister. "Me too, sis. And you know what? Pabbie told us how to fix me after that dragon took you and Jade away. He said to give this to you." She handed Elsa the ice crystal. "He also said, 'Tell her she must become a master, even if it is temporary.'"

All at once, Elsa felt a flood of energy go through her, restoring her powers to full strength and then some. The sensation nearly made her dizzy, but not in a bad way. _Me. I'm the key. I wasn't strong enough or precise enough or something; I'm not sure. I must have to be an 'ice master' to completely reverse the effects of my powers hitting someone in the heart and/or cancel out other magic's heart effects._ Elsa closed her eyes as she slowly slid out of bed, clutching the ice crystal in her hand. Pure ice magic streamed through her body, mending the damage to her weak leg in the process. Elsa wasn't entirely certain what was going on, but she felt a pleasantly cool sensation in her very bones, strengthening her and making her feel invincible.

 _Maybe I am right now,_ Elsa thought absently, her pale face all smiles.

Anna watched in delight as her big sister walked properly on her own for the first time in months. She could see some sort of magical aura of icy blue shining around her sister, but nothing shone more than Elsa's smiling face. She looked like an angel. A very, very happy and childish angel, it turned out, because Elsa's eyes sparkled in delight as cold air swirled around her and lifted her off her feet, carrying her around the room as she flew through the air and nose-dived to the floor, only to shoot right back up to the ceiling and nearly hit her head. "Anna…Anna, look at me!" Elsa's overjoyed voice called.

From right there way up in the air, Elsa held out her hand and withdrew the shard of frozen fire from Anna's heart before floating back to the floor. Elsa's signature snowflake formed in the air above her and then affixed itself to the ceiling. "I did it, Anna! I did it," she said happily.

Anna caught Elsa by the hand before she could literally go flying off again. "Elsa, I think there's one thing you haven't noticed yet. Look at your leg, sis," she said quietly.

Elsa looked down, finally noticing that she was actually standing on her own. "I'm not wearing a brace on my leg, and I'm standing," she whispered. Elsa took one tentative step; then another and another. "I can walk, Anna! Anna, I can walk! And I'm not limping or having to drag that uncomfortable brace around, either!" _How is this working?! I don't care…I'm really, truly walking. By myself._ She accidentally dropped the ice crystal in her excitement as she actually jumped up and down, not caring how childish or immature she looked right then.

And then she immediately fell to the floor in a heap.

* * *

Elsa looked up at Anna, her lower lip trembling as she realized what had happened. Without the crystal, Elsa no longer was able to 'master' her powers instantly. She looked at her leg, immediately back the way it was before, right down to the way her foot always flopped to one side when she wasn't concentrating hard on trying to move it; and then looked up at her little sister again. "I can't walk properly, Anna," she said softly. "I'm still…old me." _Why are you upset, Elsa?! You haven't been able to walk properly in months._

 _'Cause I was able to for a little while and then I couldn't again. That's why._ Elsa felt Linnae nudge her hand, and she threw her arms around the ice dragon's neck. That crystal was not hers. It belonged to the trolls, and she knew the trolls relied on all those power crystals to survive. She needed to give it back as soon as she could. Elsa had done what she was supposed to do with the crystal-heal Anna-and she needed to return it to its rightful owner. Elsa still had her face hidden in Linnae's neck when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. _Is that Anna? What's Anna doing out of bed? She's going to hurt herself…_

"Elsa…you might have to give the crystal back, but you're going to become a real 'ice master' one day without it," Anna said gently. "Because you are a natural ice mage, all by yourself. You're just not old enough or experienced enough yet." She winced as she accidentally put weight on her injured leg, but she stayed right next to Elsa anyway.

Elsa quickly made a new brace for her leg before struggling to her feet and giving Anna a sheepish lopsided smile. "I suppose that's true. I hadn't realized that." She paused for a moment and then frowned as she added, "Wait a second…I'm going to be an 'ice master' one day by myself?! That's…that's…" _What if I lost control again?! I'd be virtually invincible and no one could stop me. That's horrible!_

"Awesome?" Anna finished. She bit her lip when she noticed Elsa's worried expression. "What's wrong, sis? Elsa, what are you doing?"

Elsa found mittens in a drawer and then scrambled under her bed to retrieve the ice crystal, holding it gingerly by the tips of her mittened fingers. "Anna, get that thing away from me. I don't want it near me," she said softly. The second she'd dropped the crystal in Anna's lap, she immediately took off the mittens and rubbed her hands as if they'd given her a rash. Elsa still hated anything on her hands, but she refused to touch the ice crystal again, no matter how nice it had felt to be able to walk properly again. _Why don't you want to keep it, Elsa? Wouldn't it be nice to have all that power right there and not have to figure it out yourself? If you ever couldn't handle it, you could just put the crystal down…_

 _No. It belongs to the trolls. Stop it. I can't do that._ A tiny bit of Elsa still wanted to keep that crystal- _that_ Elsa wouldn't be broken or messed up anymore. That Elsa was so strong she could very well be one with winter itself. "It belongs to the trolls. And I can't handle all that power anyway. I don't trust myself," she said to herself. "And I don't want to be an 'ice master' on my own! I just want to be able to…to walk properly again…"

Anna narrowed her eyes at her sister. _She's half scared of being so powerful she would lose control again, and half really really wanting to be that powerful because she wants something that makes her strong…_ "Well, we _have_ to give the ice crystal back anyhow," Anna said matter-of-factly. "Really, Elsa, you're being silly. Since you have to figure everything out on your own, just don't try anything for now except trying to figure out how to walk properly again. That's all." _What if Elsa's so-called destiny means she's supposed to be an ice master? Maybe she's supposed to save the world or something! That would be awesome! Wait…I wouldn't want her to do that anyway…she'd probably end up dying in the process. I remember what Elsa said Someone told her-'You are not finished yet'. I don't want that to happen!_ All of a sudden Anna did NOT want her sweet big sister being an ice master. Ever. She wanted Elsa at home safe.

Elsa's lower lip quivered as she looked down at her braced leg. "I might m-mess up and…and…Anna, I _can't_! What if I lost control when all I was trying t-to do was figure out how to walk right? I have to get rid of this…I have to…" _I can't put ice on my leg anymore. I can't._ She dissolved the ice bracing her leg away on impulse, and would have fallen if Linnae hadn't pushed her back to her feet and stood next to Elsa so she could lean on her. "Thank you, Linnae," she whispered.

Anna grinned as she watched Elsa. "Elsa, do you realize you're standing without a brace right this second? I know you're mostly just leaning on that ice dragon, but still."

Elsa almost instantly collapsed, and Anna sighed. Linnae nudged Elsa's shoulder, trying to get her to try to stand up again. _You can stand up, Elsa. You have one perfectly good leg anyways. Just pretend you are standing on one foot,_ Linnae informed her. Elsa hung onto Linnae as she dragged herself back to her feet, keeping her eyes closed as she purposely kept all her weight on her right leg.

 _Now just do not put any weight on the weak one,_ Linnae told her. _Pretend you are standing on one foot._ Even though she was 'just' Elsa's ice dragon, Linnae knew exactly what Elsa could do. She should be able to stand up on her own right this second, no magic involved at all. She would certainly not be able to walk, but she would be able to stand up. _Elsa, I am moving away. You can stand by yourself._

Elsa yelped in protest. "Linnae, no! I can't do this by myself!" She wobbled and almost fell, but she remembered what Linnae had told her and she managed to regain her balance as she looked proudly over at Anna. _I'm standing! I'm really standing by myself, no magic involved!_ Elsa wasn't very steady-if someone nudged or pushed her the slightest bit, she would fall-but she was still _standing._

"You're standing, sis," Anna said softly. "All by yourself, too. You gotta show Mom and Dad tomorrow!" Anna could tell her sister wasn't putting any weight on her weak leg, but she was still standing by herself without getting scared of not having her brace or immediately collapsing.

A very startled Elsa lost her balance, and she fell to the floor again. _See, Elsa? You can't show your parents tomorrow. You'll just fall. If you don't want ice supporting that leg, you'll just have to wear the old metal brace and that's that._

 _I hate that thing! It's heavy and uncomfortable and I limp even worse with it. I don't want it!_ Elsa scowled, annoyed with her thoughts. _That's ungrateful. I remember how it felt not even being able to move my legs. It was awful. If Anna hadn't been with me, I don't know what I would have done. I think I would have been fine eventually, of course, but still._ She reached for her old brace lying next to her bed and quickly put it on; then let Linnae help her stand back up. _I'm not going to think about it right now. I'll deal with it tomorrow._ "Anna, please go back to bed. You're going to hurt your leg worse," she said firmly.

 _Ok, Elsa just shut down that topic. I won't bother her anymore right now._ Anna shrugged. "I doubt Mom would have left crutches in here if she really expected me to stay in bed," she said nonchalantly. "I'm sure not staying in bed until Rapunzel can heal it or it gets better on its own!"

"What exactly happened to Rapunzel?" Elsa asked curiously. "And where is she now? Is she all right?" _Good grief, Elsa, give Anna a chance to answer. Stop asking so many questions at once._

Anna's expression grew serious at her sister's concerned questions. "She's in my room with Anikka and Kiara, prob'ly asleep. Evidently that stupid creep Rolf injured her over and over enough that her magic gave out and she just collapsed. From what I can understand, that was because she had to be prevented from healing the rest of us, especially you. But she's ok now. Just really, really tired and worn out," Anna explained. "Doctor Raske said Rapunzel wasn't allowed to get out of bed for at least a week, possibly more; and she isn't supposed to use any of her magic whatsoever until she's completely better. So…yeah…But Rapunzel told me that she'd fix up whatever wasn't better on its own once she was strong enough."

"How is Rapunzel going to get home?" Elsa asked, frowning. "I mean, it's still not quite late enough in the year to go anywhere via water…" _Wait, I know! I'll take Rapunzel home myself when she's better with Linnae!_ "Never mind; problem solved. Linnae wouldn't mind taking her home to Corona. Would you?" she asked the dragon.

The dragon tilted her head to one side, as if she were thinking for a moment; and then made a contented noise that sounded an awful lot like Elsa's kitten Kolfinnia. _Sure. I will take Rapunzel home. Only if you come too._

Elsa giggled. Linnae sounded like Elsa herself when she only wanted to do something if Anna was there too. "I'll come, Linnae. I have to, you know. You don't know where Corona is," she told the dragon.

 _Yes, I do. You know where it is, and you told me. You are smart, Elsa. Did you know you have a photographic memory?_ Linnae mischievously swung her tail, knocking Elsa's legs out from under her. _I got you, Elsa! You look funny._

Elsa tried to look cross, but she was practically rolling on the floor with laughter at the ice dragon's antics. The only trouble was that laughing wasn't a good idea, considering her sore ribs. "Linnae, be quiet! And please don't knock me over again, okay?"

Anna glanced from her sister to the dragon and back again in confusion. "Elsa, let me get this straight. You're _talking_ to Linnae? Is she telling you things telepathically or something?"

Elsa nodded. "She's connected to me somehow. She'll understand whatever you say to her and I think she will respond, but I'm probably the only one she can so-called verbally communicate with." She smiled at Linnae and hugged the dragon as tightly as she could. "You're like a mischievous, confident version of me. The way I wish I was," Elsa whispered. _And Linnae is like a bird. She can fly…be one with the wind and sky…she's also strong… And she's not…broken or messed up, either…_

Linnae huffed, trying to get the slender girl away from her so she could have some space. _Too much contact, Elsa. I need space. Do you think I am an introvert like you? I am not sure. I think I should stay at the ice palace. Your parents do not like me around._ She breathed out a deathly cold mass of air in annoyance.

Elsa quickly reverted the cryogenic-temperature air back to room temperature. "Linnae, you can stay wherever you like. Just whatever you do, do not terrorize Arendelle with cryogenic air. All right?"

Linnae nodded and just curled up next to Elsa's bed. _Thank you for making me, Elsa._

* * *

Elsa helped Anna get settled back on the bed before asking her next question. "Were we able to save Jade?" she asked hopefully. _Please say yes, Anna. Please…_

Anna hesitated before telling her sister the truth. "No, Elsa," she said quietly. "I think she had too many internal injuries or something. Doctor Raske tried to help, but it was too late. And Rapunzel was too weak to heal her, too." Anna frowned as Elsa's expression crumpled and she just scooted closer to Anna, tears trickling down her cheeks. "Why are you so upset about that, Elsa?" Anna asked curiously. "And why did you even try to save her?! She was a huge threat, Elsa."

"Jade committed s…suicide, Anna," Elsa whispered. "She jumped into that chasm and landed on rocks. I tried to save her! I _tried_ …" She touched the bandage on her arm, remembering just how that had happened. _You failed, Elsa. You messed up. Again._ "She said if I didn't cooperate, she would jump. I could somehow tell she wasn't just manipulating me at that point-I think she got desperate. She said she needed some blood because she thought my powers were in it somehow…and-"

Anna's expression darkened at that. "Is _that_ how you got your arm all cut up like that?!" she interrupted. "Because you _let_ Jade do that to you because you were trying to keep her from killing herself?" _Why would Elsa do such a thing?_ "Why the heck would you let someone, least of all her, do that to you?!" _Couldn't Elsa have gotten Linnae to help her somehow? Meh, Elsa was probably only half-conscious. I'll give her a break._

Elsa slowly stood up, her blue eyes flashing. "Because, Anna, she's just a girl like you or me. That's why. I knew her idea wouldn't work, and I was hoping it would snap some sense into her head. But then she jumped anyway! Jade didn't have the crystals anymore-if she hadn't done that, I would have simply brought her back to the castle and put her in the dungeon until I could figure out what to do with her." Elsa looked her little sister straight in the face as she added, "You seem to forget that you yourself saved a desperate girl from committing suicide before. Unlike you, I…failed." _Was there anything different I could have done? Anything at all? I don't think so, but…still. I failed all the same._

"Elsa, it's _not_ your fault," Anna said firmly. "You had no reason to even want to save her." She paused as another thought popped into her head. "Actually, Elsa, there really wasn't even any reason that you _should_ have saved her, I don't think. Elsa, you saved someone who was a great big threat to all of us. That was downright stupid. Your motives were pure, but it was stupid. That stupid creep was the same person that hurt you so bad before." Anna still remembered only too clearly her sweet big sister lying in bed helpless and in pain because of what Jade-and partly she herself-had done to her. Elsa's pained words in her sleep saying she knew she was defective but begging for Anna not to get rid of her. Elsa _still_ wanting Anna to be with her all the same, even though she was still a bit scared and upset from the whole thing.

Elsa figuratively froze for a moment, thinking about what Anna had told her. _It's just…Jade had been neutralized. She didn't have the crystals anymore, and I knew her plan to take my blood wasn't going to work. Didn't Jade deserve someone to try to help her, too? Anna helped me. She stopped me from committing suicide and she literally sacrificed herself to save me after I froze everything. How am I any better than Jade?_ Elsa finally just turned her back and limped out of the room. "And you forget you saved someone who had hurt you, too," she said quietly. "You saved _me._ "

 **A/N: So, Elsa will be able to be an 'ice master' on her own eventually. No worries, that will NOT happen anywhere near instantly...it will take a long while.:) [Especially since Elsa doesn't want anything to do with the idea...:P]**

 **I didn't decide Jade's death based on reviews, just so everyone knows.:P So please don't be upset or offended if that wasn't what you wanted to happen.:) I would like to know your opinions about the whole thing, though!**

 **Question...should I put the rating up to T on this story? Jade's actions seem a little extreme for K+, and yet I don't like raising the rating because it seems like people usually use it for sensual stuff, and there's NONE of that. It's just I don't think what Jade has done to Elsa is 'minor action violence without serious injury'. And a character died. Anyways I would REALLY appreciate everyone's input.:)**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**

 **P.S. I'm still working on the next chapter of Ingrid's story, 'No Escape'. I'm sorry for the long wait.:P**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-Lol, I think Elsa thinks/says silly things when she's tired...like thinking her magic is sleepy.:P Yep, that was just a hint/confirmation that it's possible for Elsa's leg to get better, that's all. No way would I have let that be the solution. Too simple. Elsa needed the crystal to be able to withdraw the frozen fire properly. (She doesn't know how to do it on her own yet. The only reason Anna stays herself afterwards is because Elsa literally sent the frozen fire into nothing, and nothing can't come back after Elsa drops the crystal.) Elsa just wants to be able to walk properly again; she doesn't want all the extra power the ice crystal gave her. She's just being...Elsa.:P You're right, Elsa didn't have to do that, but right now she's a little unnerved and frightened about the whole 'ice master' thing and so she suddenly didn't want anything to do with her magic associated with her bad leg. That's a good idea, except Elsa doesn't even WANT the crystal.:P Linnae is big enough for two people to easily ride, more if they're little like Anikka. Toothless size, I suppose.:)**

 **Dragonheart35-Hmm, that's a good idea. I think I'll keep thinking for a little longer and decide when the story is over.:) In my mind, if Elsa had managed to get through to Jade, they would have ended up being good friends. But Jade was stubborn and convinced her logic was right, and so Elsa couldn't help her.:/ Elsa doesn't understand why Anna was able to save her and yet Elsa couldn't save Jade. Linnae has the same mindset Elsa does-to protect those around her. That being said, since Linnae _does_ have a similar mindset as Elsa, she also wants to be loved, just like Elsa herself does. Luckily, although Elsa doesn't know all that, she did give Linnae a hug.:) Yep, she sure did forget that, didn't she?:P In my mind, an ice master does not get out of control. She would have to purposely freeze everything to do what Elsa is afraid she would do by accident. She would still 'make mistakes' if she were upset, but they would just be snowflakes or a bit of ice on the floor, etc. (I know the word 'master' implies no mistakes whatsoever, but Elsa's magic is tied to her emotions, so that's impossible. Controlled mistakes seem more likely to me.:P)**

 **raven678-Yes, everyone is safe, and yes, Elsa would have benefited from Jade's survival if Jade had been willing to change, but that was OOC for Jade.:P I'll say Agdar will NOT get mad at her, but he won't support her decision either.:)**

 **Awesomewolf-IDK anything about Kingdom Hearts, so I'm not sure if Elsa would be good at that or not.:P**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thanks for the input! I'm going to make a final decision once the story is finished, I think.:)**

 **On to the story! (Sorry this chapter is so long...:P)**

Elsa silently made her way through the dark castle downstairs to Gerda's room. _I don't want to wake Gerda up…it's almost midnight, but I don't trust anyone else to tell me the absolute truth or help me. I don't know what to do. What got into Anna? She acted like she was glad Jade died. Did I do something wrong by trying to save her? Did Dr. Raske really try his best to help her, even? And where are Espen and Hans?_ Elsa sighed as she knocked lightly on Gerda's door. She didn't want to admit it, but Anna's unsympathetic reaction had both hurt her and made her angry.

"Oh, do come in, Miss Elsa," Gerda said the moment she saw who was outside her door. "And you are supposed to be upstairs sleeping! You're still hurt, just not seriously this time." She paused for a moment, not certain what to make of the mixed expression on Elsa's face. "What did you want to talk to me about, Miss Elsa?" she asked quietly.

Elsa thought for a minute before replying, trying to think of the best and simplest way to ask her question. "What happened…exactly…after I collapsed in the dungeon corridor? I can remember a few things after that, but they're all fuzzy," she said finally. _Please tell me the absolute truth…please…_

"Is this about Jade's death, Miss Elsa?" Gerda asked suspiciously. "You asked your sister about it and you're upset because she wasn't sorry about what happened, correct?"

Elsa nodded, but she looked Gerda right in the eyes. "Yes," she replied shortly. "Gerda, please. I want to know exactly what happened after I collapsed. Tell me everything you know. Please." _Something is missing or off about this whole thing. I know it is._

Gerda gently steered Elsa over to a chair and made her sit down. "Here, Miss Elsa, sit down. I'll tell you everything." She pulled out another chair for herself and sat down across from Elsa. "I wasn't there immediately after you collapsed, but your parents brought you to the infirmary since you'd collapsed like that. They sent Kai and me to get your cousin and Jade from the dungeon. Princess Rapunzel wasn't unconscious, but she was very, very weak; and she had cuts and bruises all over her arms that weren't healing themselves; or if they were, her magic was working so slowly we couldn't tell. That Rolf character had injured her repeatedly to the point she couldn't use her magic anymore. We locked Rolf in a cell and took Rapunzel and Jade upstairs. Once we were in the infirmary, I tried to remind your parents that you would most likely want whoever was injured the worst to be cared for first, and they reluctantly agreed. So Sir Raske immediately attempted to tend to Jade first, because at that point, she was barely even breathing.

"While Sir Raske tried to help Jade, I took care of you. You were mostly unconscious, but you were keeping one hand holding your ribs. That was how I knew you'd been hurt there; otherwise I wouldn't have had any idea. You had some nasty looking bruises where you had been holding them, so I just wrapped them up for you and took care of your arm. At that moment, Mr. Bjorgman brought Miss Anna in with those two little girls trailing behind him." Gerda paused when Elsa couldn't stifle a giggle. "What is it, Miss Elsa?"

"I'll bet Kiara would object to being called a little girl," Elsa said, trying her best to remain serious.

"Well, pardon me, but she is. She's only eleven! Would you like for me to continue?" Gerda asked.

Elsa nodded, and Gerda continued. "Since you'd been taken care of, your mother took you upstairs and put you to bed. I took care of Rapunzel then; I just put some soothing lotion on her bruises since by that point, she'd passed out, but her magic had managed to heal all the cuts. Your father took her upstairs, and Princess Kiara followed him. Sir Raske had been trying to tend to Jade for all that time, but it was becoming obvious we were delaying the inevitable. She couldn't breathe, Miss Elsa. That contraption Sir Raske had come up with wasn't helping, or at the very least, not helping enough." Before Elsa could ask, Gerda added, "Yes, the oxygen mask you had to use when we first brought you home from that cave. You had just breathed too much smoke. Jade had a punctured or collapsed lung, and we have no way to remedy that. Miss Elsa, even if she had lived, she most likely had serious brain damage besides. There just wasn't anything we could do. It was _not_ because no one helped her." Gerda gave Elsa a gentle hug when she saw the snowflakes beginning to float around her.

Elsa had been trying to hold back her tears, but she finally just cried as Gerda held her. "She killed herself, Gerda," she whispered. "She killed herself! She killed herself, and I couldn't save her…I tried…I _tried_ …I didn't even like Jade, but I didn't want her committing s-suicide! I wanted to help her! Anna saved me…why couldn't I do the same for someone else?! Why?" _I don't_ think _this is my fault, but I still feel horrible about it. What else could I have done? I can't think of anything…_ "Anna didn't even care that Jade had died! I just…I…Anna saved someone who had hurt her…she s-saved…me. Stupid me."

 _So this is why Elsa is so upset. Anna can never understand Elsa's exact feelings on this. She saw that the person who had hurt Elsa so bad wouldn't be able to hurt her anymore. Elsa, on the other hand, saw a girl not much older than she is hurting inside herself…and she would be correct. Anna is correct, too, though…_ "Miss Elsa, number one, you are not stupid. You have never been stupid. Jade committing suicide is not your fault; just like if you had succeeded in doing so when you were eighteen, it wouldn't have been Anna's fault. Do you understand?" Gerda paused for a moment before adding, "And if you do not wish to be held anymore, please tell me."

Elsa shook her head. "I…I need s-someone to hold me right now," she said softly. "Gerda, it's just…did Jade feel like I did? Wanting to leave and disappear forever? That she couldn't deal with…life anymore? That no one n-needed her? That she was just…just…useless a-and defective and that it w-would be better f-for everyone if she didn't exist?" Elsa glanced at Gerda, not knowing what else to say. _And I failed to save her. I just…_

"Miss Elsa, you and Jade are not the same person, nor did you have the same motivations." Gerda frowned when she noticed the guilt in Elsa's sad blue eyes. _I know she knows it wasn't her fault, but she's still blaming herself for it…_ "Never in your life did you purposely injure someone like that, let alone to the point that that someone has serious burns on her hands and poisoned the someone's sister and caused the sister to shoot her with an arrow. Miss Elsa, it was pure luck that arrow didn't cause far more damage than it did…anyways, forget that. Listen, Miss Elsa. Jade did what she did out of selfishness. You did what you did out of selflessness. I am not saying that your suicide attempt had _no_ so-called selfish motivations-I'm sure deep inside you knew it would be an escape from everything, even if you didn't realize it at the time-but your main reasoning was that the world would be better off without you. That was a hundred percent wrong, but you _were_ trying to do the right thing."

Elsa bit her lip, considering what Gerda had just told her, but she didn't say anything. _Do intentions really matter? It's still the same awful attempt…_

"Jade may have been hurting inside, but what she did was entirely selfish, Miss Elsa. I don't pretend to read her mind, but my guess is that she missed her parents and was devastated that her plans had failed; and decided that if her plans had failed, then she might as well do the one thing that might let her see her parents again." Gerda gave Elsa a smile, noticing that Elsa's countenance had brightened a little. "Also, I know Jade and her brother most likely didn't have anywhere near the care you and Miss Anna have for each other. Jade probably figured her brother would easily get over losing her, whether that is actually true or not." She paused for a moment as she gently pushed Elsa away, keeping her hands on Elsa's shoulders as she looked Elsa in the eyes. "Miss Elsa. Please listen. There's one other thing that seriously worries me about what you did."

Elsa looked at Gerda in confusion, wondering what Gerda could possibly be talking about. "What…did I do?" she asked hesitantly. _I must have messed up somehow. What did I do wrong this time?_

"Miss Elsa, you made a questionable decision because someone played with your emotions," Gerda said gently. "I understand fully why you tried to save that girl, and I am not telling you that what you did was wrong; I'm just saying you need to think about this. The decision you made could potentially have caused things to go very wrong. One example…how exactly did your arm get cut up like that? It looked far too neat to have been an accident. Did you let Jade hurt you?"

Elsa slowly nodded. "She threatened suicide if I wouldn't let her have some blood…she thought it was going to give her my powers. And then she jumped anyway when it didn't work…"

"All right then. Miss Elsa, what if that _had_ given her your powers? You had no way of a hundred percent knowing it wouldn't. Or what if Jade had ended up trying to slit your throat trying to 'get some blood'? You put yourself in needless danger in an attempt to save someone who, quite honestly, deserved the death sentence." Gerda paused for a moment, not liking that Elsa seemed to be growing more and more upset. _She needs to know. No one else is going to tell her. She needs to know._ "Miss Elsa, it's not like you collapsed and Jade did that while you were unconscious. You had an ice dragon with you. That dragon you made would have defended you if you let it; I know it would have. You consciously decided to let someone literally cut your arm open. Keep in mind that was the same person who poisoned the princess, wanted to kill the former king, burned down an orphanage-which directly caused three children to die; and on top of all that, literally tortured the reigning monarch. Whether you think of yourself as worthless or worth more than gold makes no difference, Miss Elsa. You are still the reigning monarch of this country. Jade hurt the queen to the point she couldn't even breathe properly on her own temporarily. That is not ok." Gerda refrained from adding that that whole thing had hurt Elsa on the inside, too. "Miss Elsa, please listen. Tell me this. If it had happened to someone else, what would you have called what Jade did to you?"

* * *

Elsa had long since dropped her gaze to the floor at Gerda's gentle lecture, not knowing how to react or what to say. "Physical torture and emotional manipulation," she said softly. _I messed up. I know Gerda is right, but…it still hurts. I couldn't…and shouldn't?...save someone who was suicidal? Anna saved me…_

"And if another queen executed said person who did all the things Jade did, would you think bad of her for executing that person?" Gerda asked, hoping the whole discussion wasn't too much for Elsa to deal with at the moment. _Elsa, hold it together. You'll be fine. Not immediately, but you're going to be fine._

Elsa hesitated for a long moment before slowly shaking her head and whispering, "No. That person would have been too much of a threat to be allowed to live." She slowly looked up at Gerda with sad and teary blue eyes. "It just _hurts_ …I couldn't save her and I know I probably shouldn't have anyway, but…"

Gerda just pulled the young girl close and hugged her tightly. "It's all right to hurt about it, Miss Elsa. It's all right. It just means your heart is too big for your own good." _Elsa would feel upset about this no matter what the circumstances were…it's just…Elsa._ "Miss Elsa, I just want you to realize that there is a point where someone has gone too far and it's not in the best interest of _anyone_ to let them live. You are a queen, and as such, you are just going to have to learn to deal with it. You can't let your heart tell you what to do, ever. Not in that context. Usually you are a logical person, so I know you understand this. When something like this comes up again eventually in the future, you are going to have to have the backbone to deal with it logically, not to just do what your heart tells you to do." _I should not be the one telling her any of this. It should be her parents…except they would probably just make her think of that horrible 'conceal, don't feel' nonsense again._

"Emotions cause trouble," was Elsa's immediate response.

" _No,_ Miss Elsa," Gerda said firmly. "You are allowed to feel upset after any queenly decision. You just have to be willing to do the best thing for the kingdom, your friends and family, and you, even if it hurts. Following your heart isn't _always_ wrong. Let your heart make a suggestion, and then use logic to decide if that's the best thing. Honestly, I still am not sure whether trying to save Jade was even wrong. It's simply questionable and that's that."

Elsa abruptly pulled away and looked Gerda straight in the face. "I should abdicate, Gerda," she said quietly. "I could have _ruined_ everything; I…I just…I can't do this anymore. I can't. I…I'm…I just…Gerda, I feel like I can't do anything right," she blurted finally. _And everything hurts…and it's been like that for awhile now. I feel lost and I don't know how to fix it. I feel inadequate and incompetent and everything Gerda just told me proves it._

"Queen Elsa. Stop it. You did not ruin anything. Everyone makes mistakes, and really, I am not sure if what you did is even really a 'mistake'. I just know you well enough to know exactly why you did what you did." Gerda gave Elsa a reassuring smile before adding, "You know your sister has no interest in being queen. She's perfectly happy simply helping you. If you feel like you're careening out of control on the inside right now, let your family help you. You don't need to abdicate to have help. I may not know very much about politics and government, but I know quite well you do _not_ need to step down. Also, I know there's something…off inside you right now, and that needs help. Whatever happened to you in that cave left marks that are going to take some time to heal. That's ok. I'll be here for you whenever you're ready."

"Even if it takes a really long time?" Elsa asked, a tiny smile slowly forming on her face.

"Yes," Gerda told her firmly. "Even if it takes a really long time." _Elsa will be fine. I know she will. She just needs help._

* * *

"Do you think Jade went to heaven?" Elsa asked hopefully as she put her hand over the tiny snowflake pendant around her neck. "Then at least she's happy now. That would be good."

Gerda sighed heavily, having absolutely no idea how to answer that. "Miss Elsa, leave it to you to ask an unanswerable question like that! How on earth would I know that one way or the other?"

"I know, but you have to have some idea," Elsa insisted, her expression still hopeful. _I hope she did…_

"I don't _know_ , Miss Elsa," Gerda said quietly. "There isn't any way for any of us to know that, and you know it. I will say I certainly don't believe committing suicide would prevent someone from going to heaven. Suicide is wrong, yes, but just like anything else, it's forgivable. Miss Elsa, you can't worry yourself with Jade's choices and actions and the repercussions from those things. You did your best and that's all anyone can do." Gerda decided to change the subject in the hopes that Elsa might stop thinking about the whole Jade thing. "Little Anikka has a broken arm, Miss Elsa. She kept you from getting hurt while you were unconscious," she said quietly.

"Anikka…broke her arm…protecting _me_?" Elsa asked hesitantly. _Why would she do such a thing?! She's only five… Anikka cared enough about me to risk herself being hurt like that?_ "Where is she? Is she okay? I…why would she do that…I mean, I just…"

"Miss Elsa, she's fine," Gerda assured her. "She's sleeping just fine. She said something like 'Elsa take care an' love Anikka. I take care Elsa too'. That was her explanation for what happened. Aside from crying while her arm was taken care of, she's perfectly fine and not upset at all." Gerda watched as Elsa paced back and forth across the room with her limping steps. _I said I would ask her, but I will not press the issue if she says no._ "Miss Elsa, your father wanted you to have therapy and exercises to try to mend your leg back the way it was before. I promised I would ask you, but I'll not bother you about it any more if you're not interested," she said carefully.

Elsa's blue eyes began sparkling excitedly at that. "I can stand up by myself without my brace, Gerda," Elsa said happily. Elsa's smile abruptly vanished as something else popped into her head. "My powers are supposed to let me walk properly eventually, but…that whole 'ice master' thing scares me. And Papa won't like that even if it did work. He'll say my leg…isn't really fixed," she added softly. _I know that's what would happen. Papa would probably be horrified if he knew just what I'm supposed to be when I'm older and more experienced._

 _Elsa, that isn't your problem. That's his problem, not yours. Your 'problem' is figuring out how to fix that leg yourself. And that isn't really a 'problem'; if you can't, you and everyone else will still be perfectly fine._

 _I just told myself Papa's hurtful opinions weren't my problem. I really did._ Elsa still didn't smile, but she felt much better. The only thing that bothered her now was Anna's seemingly indifferent reaction to Jade's death. She was still a bit angry that Anna hadn't seemed to care and that her only concern was that Elsa herself was safe now. _But everyone else is home safe. That's the important thing…isn't it?_

Gerda narrowed her eyes as she watched Elsa's I'm-trying-to-be-completely-unreadable expression. After seeing the young girl grow up, she could usually tell when Elsa was hurting inside and trying her best to hide it. Elsa's present expression wasn't the same…she was doing the same pasted-on neutral expression, something she would probably always do when she didn't want her feelings being automatically announced to everyone around her; but she actually looked angry now on top of being sad and hurt. "Miss Elsa, what are you angry about?" Gerda asked matter-of-factly.

"I am not angry," was Elsa's slightly childish response, and she scowled, not liking that Gerda had been able to read her so easily. _First Anna, and now Gerda. I don't want to conceal my emotions all the time, but I don't want everyone to read me like that when I haven't even said or done anything._ "Gerda, how did you know I was angry?" Elsa asked, immediately negating her previous statement.

"I've taken care of you since you were nothing but a baby, Miss Elsa," Gerda told her with a smile. "Did you really think I couldn't tell? You're smarter than that. I seem to remember eleven-year-old you showing me the first real blueprint you made…a very detailed thing you came up with completely on your own."

Elsa's scowl grew deeper. "That wasn't very hard. I drew an exact scale of my room after I measured it," she said in annoyance. _I should just tell Gerda. She's always been like a mother to me; she's even helped me with government things she technically knows nothing about._ The childish scowl disappeared as she finally told Gerda what was really bothering her. "Gerda, it makes me angry and upset that Anna didn't seem to care that Jade died. The last thing she told me was 'That stupid creep was the same person that hurt you so bad before'. Even if I shouldn't have tried to save Jade, Anna still shouldn't not care at all! All she cared about was me! I'm not worth-"

"Queen Elsa, stop talking like that right now," Gerda interrupted, not caring what rank Elsa was. She was not going to let Elsa talk like that about herself any more. "You can continue lying to yourself and call yourself worthless and useless; or you can admit the truth and tell yourself you are a special girl that everyone around you is lucky to have. I don't mean give yourself an inflated ego; I mean give yourself a true picture of your real self. Look at yourself in the mirror." Gerda gently steered Elsa over to the large mirror hanging on the wall. "What do you see? Saying you look like a messed up little girl is not the correct answer. Be honest and say something positive."

Elsa just blinked at her reflection, not knowing what to say. _Is Gerda crazy? What am I supposed to say? All I see is someone who looks way too young to be queen, and she looks really tired…_ "I look sleepy," she said after a long pause.

"All right. That's true, Miss Elsa. Now say something actually positive about yourself, not the fact that you look sleepy." Gerda dearly wanted to just give Elsa a hug and comfort her, but she was determined to get the girl to say at least one or two things nice about herself on her own. _At least she didn't call herself something negative…she just pointed out that she looks tired._

Elsa's blue eyes looked back at her in her reflection accusingly. _You can't think of anything, can you?_ "I…my right arm is bandaged. I have really fair skin and almost invisible freckles. I have blue eyes too big for the rest of me…I'm a tiny bit taller than Anna. I like my light blue nightgown. I…I like that I usually stand up straight without slouching. Does that count?" Elsa stifled a yawn. Quite honestly, her legs were starting to get tired now. That ice crystal had boosted her strength for a short time, but now it had worn off, leaving her exhausted. She would have to regain her real built-in strength on her own. _I guess the only reason Anna stayed healed from the frozen fire was because I physically destroyed it into oblivion. It can't just come back._

Before Gerda could say a word, Elsa's tired body wouldn't hold her up any longer and she just collapsed to the floor lying on top of a pile of powdery snow. Gerda shook her head as she knelt next to Elsa and gently shook her shoulder. "Miss Elsa, I'll take you back upstairs. Could you please dissolve the snow? Otherwise it might melt by morning and make a slushy mess." She grunted with effort as she simply picked Elsa up and held her securely in her arms, making sure to be mindful of her sore ribs. Elsa may have been barely a hundred pounds, but she was still a little difficult for Gerda to pick up.

Elsa looked up at Gerda in confusion. "What snow? Can I…may I stay here?" _Oh. That snow. I must have collapsed on top of it. I don't want to go back upstairs. What am I going to say to Anna? I know she didn't mean anything, but I'm still mad at her._

"You could, of course, use your authority to stay down here," Gerda said gently. "But I think you should go back upstairs to your own room and talk to your sister. I know that's why you want to stay here."

Elsa didn't respond; she had fallen asleep right there in Gerda's arms. Gerda shook her head and laid Elsa back in the snow. _I'll go upstairs and tell Anna where Elsa is. I can't take Elsa upstairs without her permission, and I don't want to wake her up._ She pulled a blanket out of a drawer and draped it over Elsa, knowing how Elsa liked sleeping with something over her, even though she didn't get cold. "Your real parents need to get some brains in their heads," Gerda said softly. "You should have been able to go to them for help instead of me, Miss Elsa." She frowned, rethinking the decision to let Elsa stay sleeping in the snow. _You know what, I am taking Elsa back upstairs. She shouldn't be sleeping on the floor, and she should be with her real family._

* * *

Elsa stirred in Gerda's arms about halfway up the stairs. "Wh…what's…going on?" she asked sleepily. "Did I…fall and…hurt myself again?" _No, you didn't, Elsa. Gerda is probably taking you upstairs to your room._

"Unless you give me express orders otherwise, you are going into your room and making up with your sister," Gerda said firmly. She wouldn't try to force Elsa to do anything-she didn't think that was her place-but she was determined to do her best to get the two sisters to make up and explain exactly why they were mad at each other…although Gerda was somehow quite sure that Elsa was the only one who was angry with her sibling, not the other way around. While Anna thought her sweet big sister was the most valuable person in the world and therefore was perfectly happy to have Elsa safe if it meant someone who had hurt her was dead; Elsa had a very low opinion of herself. Elsa knew she wasn't _worthless_ , but she still felt that way sometimes…and she still certainly didn't think her life was worth more than Jade's. "Miss Anna, are you still awake?" Gerda asked quietly.

"Yeah. Where's grumpy ol' Elsa been?!" Anna asked. "She got all mad and upset at me for no reason! Stupid Elsa. I love her, but she's a big fat idiot!"

Gerda gave Anna a sharp look. "Princess Anna, stop talking nonsense this instant," she said sternly as she laid Elsa down on the bed. "You and your sister need to make up. What's done is done. Jade dying was neither one of your faults, but you both need to understand where the other is coming from."

"I understand that my sister thinks of herself as worthless a lot of the time; and that she's safe now because Jade is gone," Anna replied instantly. She scowled at the tired Elsa lying next to her. "And that opinion of yours is stupid and wrong, Elsa!"

Elsa's expression twisted in pain, and a single tear leaked from her closed eyes and trickled down her cheek. "I _am_ worthless s-sometimes," she whispered. "Not all the time…but sometimes…I…that is, I'm…" Elsa looked up at her sister, her big blue eyes brimming with unshed tears. _Like when Papa first rescued Anna and me. I couldn't even breathe properly, let alone help Anna. I don't think I was worth saving… I tried my best, and it wasn't enough._ "I'm sorry, Anna," Elsa said finally. "I'm sorry."

Anna felt like screaming. _What is wrong with her?! She isn't worthless! She's my big sister! Elsa loves and cares for everyone around her…even creeps that hurt her really bad._ "Quit apologizing, Elsa. You haven't got anything to be sorry for! And just when do you stupidly think that you're worthless?! Because you're not!"

Gerda shook her head lightly at Anna. _That is not helpful, Anna._ She nodded toward the door, telling Anna she was leaving; and Anna nodded. _They need to work this out on their own._

Anna quickly backtracked. "I'm sorry I called you stupid, sis," she apologized. "It just made me mad that you think of yourself like that and consider someone horrid more valuable than you are."

Elsa abruptly turned over away from Anna, and grabbed the two dolls on her nightstand and just clutched them to her chest. "You are not sorry you called me stupid, and you don't care someone barely older than we are committed suicide," she said flatly. "You think I'm a stupid little girl who's somehow worth more than gold. That means you must have distorted values of money-you waste it. You waste time on stupid me." _Elsa, you are not helping. You're making it worse._

 _Well, it's the truth._

Anna scowled. "That isn't true. I don't either waste money, and you are not a waste of time!"

"Yes, it is, and you know it. Leave me alone. I want to go to sleep." Elsa started to curl into a ball, remembered she couldn't with the brace on her leg, and crossly unfastened it before flinging it into the opposite corner of the room and flopping back down under the covers. _You're going to be helpless and unable to stand up if something bad happens again,_ a pessimistic voice informed her. _I will not either be helpless, so shut up. I'm so mad I could spit ice right now. That would scare any assailant away._

 _Spit ice?! You don't even know how to do such a thing! You're just acting tough and angry because you don't want to be hurt again._ She hated her leg right this second. She was sick of limping around and struggling to walk and having to wear a brace on her leg. And she was sick of her whole family fighting constantly. _Elsa, you are not sick of your powers. Did you realize that?_

Anna was taken aback at Elsa's flat and obviously irritated comments. "Fine, be that way!" she blurted. "I just won't talk anymore!"

"That will last all of about five minutes," Elsa retorted peevishly. _I don't even understand why I'm so angry. Am I just being stubborn? Am I even really angry…?_ She didn't realize a literal wall of ice was forming between her and Anna.

"Stinker!" Anna just exclaimed the first word that popped into her head.

"Oh, I was wrong. It lasted three seconds," was Elsa's deadpan response.

Anna angrily shoved at the ice between her and Elsa. "Get your stupid ol' ice off my half of the bed, Elsa!" she demanded.

Elsa tumbled right off the bed and landed on the floor with a yelp. The ice crashed on top of her; and she instinctively curled into a ball, her shoulders shaking as she realized she was trapped on the floor. "Please d-don't hurt me," she whispered, the argument with Anna abruptly forgotten. _What happened? Something stings. Did I hurt myself? Did someone hurt me?_ "I'm s-sorry, Anna…I didn't…that is, can…please, can I have it back? I can't s-stand up…I _can't…_ "

Anna bit her lip in horror, realizing what she had just done. "I'm sorry, Elsa! And you can too stand up-you did earlier!" _She didn't know she made that ice! That's what it is. And I pushed her right off the bed and made the ice fall on her. What if she's hurt?_ She scooted over so she could see Elsa, trying to shift her leg as little as possible, and shook her head when she saw Elsa on the floor. Shards of ice lay all over the floor around Elsa, and scratches littered her fair skin wherever the ice had hit her. "Elsa…" Not entirely sure what else to do, Anna just shouted for help.

* * *

The girls' mother ran into the room less than a minute later. "What is going on, Anna?! Do you realize it's after three in the morning?" Idun scolded. She followed Anna's gaze to the floor and frowned when she saw Elsa. "Did she fall out of bed and end up scaring herself?" Idun asked quietly as she scooped Elsa up. "Anna, she's trembling…and how on earth did she get so many scratches like this?!" _Did all that ice around her fall right on top of her?_

"We were mad at each other, and I kinda may have accidentally pushed her off the bed," Anna mumbled. "A bunch of ice fell on top of her, too…"

"Anna, calm her down. I'll try to take care of those scratches," Idun said quickly. "Does Elsa still keep simple medical supplies in her bathroom?"

Anna nodded, and Idun was back in seconds. Elsa lay motionless on her bed still crying, her tears stinging the scratches on her face. "I'm sorry, Anna…I'm sorry," she whimpered again. "Please d-don't hurt me…please… Are you gonna get rid of m-me?" _Did Anna push me on the floor on purpose? I don't know what happened…_

Anna gave her sister's hand a squeeze as Idun gently dabbed a cool wet cloth over all those scratches. "Please stop apologizing, Elsa. Of course I'm not going to get rid of you," Anna said quietly. "I did _not_ mean to push you on the floor. Promise. Everything's gonna be all right. I'll be honest; I don't miss Jade, but it's just because she hurt you so much. Let's not talk about it anymore." What Anna couldn't help thinking was that Jade hadn't just hurt Elsa physically. Those scars from those burns may have been gone, but the emotional scars were not. The still-healing wounds in Elsa's fragile heart were all torn open again, and Anna knew that left her sister flailing about in her stress as she tried to get better. Anna could tell Elsa was trying her best to hold it together, but she was slipping back to her old self from around the Great Thaw. While Anna had secretly been suspicious of that for awhile, her thoughts had been confirmed when Gerda had told her about Elsa's recent panic attack. _How am I going to help her? She needs help. Badly. I don't know…_

And Elsa often looked so sad since the whole cave incident. She seemed terrified sometimes that Anna might just dump her, throw her away and get rid of her. And the thought of losing her brace frightened her. Anna still felt sick knowing just why Elsa was like that. If _Jade_ had tried to attack Elsa emotionally, Elsa probably would have been perfectly fine. But because Jade had used Anna to do it, Elsa was still hurting terribly from the whole thing. "Hey, Elsa, think about something silly or happy," Anna said now. "Or yummy, like chocolate! Then you'll get good dreams 'stead of icky ones."

"I still love you, Anna…I…sorry…won't tell you t' leave me alone…please don't do that…" Elsa sighed in exhaustion as her blue eyes drifted closed. "Love Mama, too." Elsa fell asleep almost immediately.

Idun shook her head as she pulled the covers over Elsa; then stood up and started to leave. "Anna, get to sleep. I know you must be exhausted too. Is your leg feeling all right, honey?"

Anna nodded. "It hurts quite a bit, but it's ok," she said truthfully. "I'm more worried 'bout Elsa. She's not going to have a scar across her cheek, is she?" _She better not. That would completely, totally my fault._ Without waiting for a reply, she added, "And Mom, what are we going to do with Elsa? I know you thought she was going to be fine once she was physically better, but she's _not_. She's barely any better than she was after the Great Thaw!" _Except…Elsa has already been better. That means it shouldn't take all that long to help her to be back the way she was._

"Maybe she was just getting upset because she was so tired," Idun suggested. "Elsa will probably be better tomorrow. And they're just scratches-she'll be fine."

Anna scowled at that. "Mom, that's stupid. Being tired doesn't help, yeah, but Elsa hasn't being acting right since Dad rescued us from the cave. Didn't you hear what she just said while you were taking care of her? Apologizing and saying please don't hurt her and asking if I was going to get rid of her! Keep in mind she was angry and being deadpan sarcastic right before that when we were arguing. It's awful!" Anna gingerly lay down herself and tossed one arm around her sister. "Never mind. I'll figure it out myself." _I_ will _figure out how to help you, Elsa. I will never leave you alone or get rid of you._

Idun wasn't sure what to say. "Anna, I don't think Elsa knows how to control her emotions reasonably. Since she isn't locking them inside anymore, they go all over the place," she said finally. "Maybe-"

"And she was all upset before you came in, saying she couldn't stand up and asking 'please, can I have it back'!" Anna interrupted. "Also…I…I don't think Elsa was really that angry," she added thoughtfully. "Maybe a little bit, but…I think she was acting like that because she was hurting, and she just lashed out and started saying ridiculous things. Plus I really was being kind of mean…"

"Go to sleep, Anna," Idun said quietly, realizing just what Anna's words meant. "If Elsa's poor heart and mind is that messed up, just talking about it isn't going to help. She's going to need you. I wasn't there in that cave, but it seems like Elsa may know in her head that she's safe now and you do love and care about her; but her heart doesn't agree. Just hug her for now. Talk to her in the morning." She bit her lip as she looked at Elsa, who was sleeping peacefully curled up on her side clutching Anna's hand tightly with both of her own. "She's a strong girl. She'll be all right," Idun added, as much to herself as to Anna.

"…stop it! …busy…Anna…can't swim…melted chocolate…ice slide instead?" Elsa's pale face screwed up in annoyance in her sleep. "Don't splash me with that! …no…don't like that…let's fly on Linnae 'stead…"

Anna just about burst out laughing. _Yeah, I think Elsa is going to be just fine. I think I shall ask her about this crazy dream in the morning._

 _ **A/N**_ **: Yes, Elsa had a dream that she was busy working and Anna wanted to go swimming in melted chocolate, and Elsa herself wanted to go flying on Linnae instead. :P Because why not?:)**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **raven678-Well, Elsa still trusts Gerda more than she trusts her parents, so I thought she would probably go to Gerda for help first. Elsa will be okay...she just needs some time.:)**

 **Awesomewolf-Thanks for the input.:) Wait and see! Agdar does know he needs to be careful when he talks to Elsa, but he's still...not very good at doing so.:P Lol, I know exactly what to do with your idea-it's not exactly the same, but it's really close.:) And I'll give you credit, of course. Thanks.:) Of course Elsa will be better. Just give her a chance...she's trying to get de-stressed from everything and stuff.:)**

 **readeronly76-That's what I thought-both of them are still human; they will NOT get along all the time.:P**

 **Elsa Tomago-Hmm, I don't think Elsa would have dealt very well with having to punish Jade, either.:/ Argh, those sort of people make me mad.-_- NOTHING Elsa did was selfish. Ever. Not even when she was little.:/ Agdar probably wouldn't tell Elsa anything one way or the other at this point. Elsa was hurting inside and she lashed out, that's all. She doesn't understand why Anna wouldn't care about someone committing suicide, even though it was Jade. :P**

 **Mandy-That's okay.:) I'm glad you like the chapters. Yes, Elsa will be able to walk on her own one day...she just needs to learn how.:) And she's going to have therapy with Gerda and on her own, not with her father. (That's just trouble waiting to happen.:P) Anna doesn't care because all she sees is how Jade hurt Elsa and how she's still not okay. Elsa will be fine; she just needs some time to get better. And that's fine-thanks for telling me.:) School and exam stuff can take up a lot of time.:P And thank you.:) I already had my exams, but I still have intensive arts 'til December 18.**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:)**

 **On to the story!:) (Sorry for the slightly late update...:P)**

When Anna woke up the next day, Elsa was still fast asleep. _Elsa always wakes up first…she must be really, really exhausted._ Anna wasn't sure whether she should wake Elsa up or not, but she needn't have worried. Elsa sleepily rubbed her eyes and blinked up at her sister less than five minutes later. "Are you feeling better now, Elsa?" Anna asked hopefully.

Elsa smiled a tiny bit and nodded. "Much, much better. My magic still feels too depleted to do much with it, though." She looked over at Linnae sleeping in the corner, wondering why the ice dragon hadn't woken up the night before during all the commotion. _Maybe Linnae only wakes up if I ask her to. Well, I'm not going to try to do that right now…I have no idea what would happen all over the castle if I did…_ Elsa's hand flitted to her cheek in confusion. "Anna, is there something on my face? Are you playing a prank on me?" she asked curiously. "It stings."

"You got a bunch of scratches from that ice falling on you last night, that's all," Anna said quietly. "They weren't super bad or anything, though." She paused, wondering how to tell Elsa what she needed to say. "Elsa…there's something important we need to talk about," Anna settled on adding in her best serious voice.

 _What does Anna want to talk about? If it's about Jade, I don't want anything to do with it._ "What is it?" Elsa asked suspiciously. "I don't want to talk about Jade any more." She paused for a moment before blurting, "Anna, I…I just want to apologize and say I'm sorry for snapping at you last night and that I shouldn't have done that and it was mean." _I didn't need to say any of what I said. It was uncalled for._

Anna scowled. _She has no reason to apologize for saying what she said. Elsa has the right to get angry sometimes; she's only human. And really, she was picking on herself in the process…she owes herself an apology…_ "Elsa, I forgive you, but you don't ever, ever have to apologize to me for the way you feel. Ever. And no, it's not about Jade. It's about you, Elsa." Anna paused again, trying to figure out what to say next…something that would get her point across without upsetting Elsa or putting her on the defensive. _What can I say? I don't want to hurt her again…_ "Elsa, you…that is, you…you haven't been…you aren't…"

"Just spit it out, Anna," Elsa said flatly, her blue eyes now focused on her brace where she'd thrown it into the corner the night before. _How am I going to go get that thing myself? And I want to do it myself, not have someone else get it for me._

"Elsa, you haven't been acting right since Dad rescued you and me from that cave," Anna replied quickly. "Just how have you been feeling lately? I can tell partly, so don't just say you're fine. You look sad and hurt, you get mad, and you just…I don't know. You're hurting, and I don't like it!" She took a deep breath before adding, "It's like you've started to revert back to the Elsa from around the Great Thaw, prob'ly 'cause you're stressed so bad. Are you ok?" _That was a stupid question. She's most definitely not ok. She's going to be ok, but she needs help._

Elsa's expression remained neutral as she looked down at her hands, but the tears slowly dripping to her lap betrayed her real feelings. "No," she whispered. _I'm not okay. I try to be okay, but I'm not. I should just tell Anna everything…she probably already knows or is suspicious of it anyway._ "I…I feel…broken, a-and…and I'm scared of…of losing you again. It's like…like…what happened in the cave is a horrible awful n-nightmare of what reality could be, and I can't forget it. I _know_ you didn't mean any of those things, but…it just hurt. It hurt so _much_ …" Elsa roughly swiped at her eyes, hating herself for feeling like this for seemingly no reason. "The things that fire magic made you say were specially crafted to hurt the most, Anna," she said softly. "They were rooted in truth, and you know it."

"Oh, Elsa…" Anna held Elsa close, not caring about the snowflakes slowly falling around her. "You are not broken. You're _not_! You're just my big sister. And you know what else? I'm proud of you for being willing to talk about feelings. 'Cause I know you still don't like it."

Elsa smiled a tiny bit at that comment. "Something doesn't have to be truly broken to hurt," she replied, her voice muffled since her face was buried in Anna's shoulder. "I said I _felt_ broken." _Wait…that's the truth. I'm not broken. I just feel like I am. I can fix that as long as Anna helps me._

Anna squeezed Elsa even tighter when she heard that. _Elsa does have a point. There is a difference between broken and just feeling that way._ "And when you were acting all angry? Were you genuinely mad?" Anna asked a moment later.

"Partly," Elsa replied truthfully. She scooted away from her little sister and pulled her own legs out from under the covers. "That was one thing that made me angry," Elsa said quietly. "It usually doesn't bother me much, if at all…I don't know why it made me so mad last night…"

Both girls just sat in silence for a minute, neither of them knowing what to say. Anna finally broke the silence by saying, "Elsa, do _not_ get all scared and freaked out again. If this doesn't work, I'll call Mom or Gerda." Without giving her sister any more information, Anna threw all the pillows off the bed into a pile, and then simply shoved Elsa off the bed onto the pillows.

Elsa just looked up at Anna in confusion. "Why did you push me off the bed?" she asked, puzzled. _I know Anna isn't trying to hurt me. I know she's not. But why did she do that?!_

"Now climb back on the bed without using your powers," Anna instructed firmly. She watched in silence as Elsa made a face and pulled herself back up on the bed fairly easily, not using her bad leg to support herself at all. "See, you can do that!" Anna said, trying to be encouraging.

Elsa's blue eyes flashed in annoyance. "Yes, climbing on a bed is so impressive," she deadpanned. "I'm twenty-one, not two! That was absolutely insulting, thank you very much. Why did you do that? Please don't act all impressed and patronize me when it turns out I can do something 'even though' I have a weak leg. I don't like it. Would you like that if you were me?"

 _No, I wouldn't. Elsa's right…_ "I'm sorry, sis," Anna apologized. "I just…"

"Wanted to help," Elsa finished in a less irritated tone. "I know." _It just made me feel…subpar. I don't know if my leg is ever really going to get better or not, but I think I want to handle that on my own. I don't want help with it. I just want Anna and everyone else to treat me like 'just plain Elsa', like Anna likes to call me._ She gave Anna a small smile before going on. "Anna, I don't think you can really understand, and that's okay. You can't just magically and instantly 'fix' everything, whether it's literally or figuratively. You're too optimistic," she said quietly.

"Maybe you're too pessimistic," Anna replied, not in an insulting tone, just in a matter-of-fact sort of way.

"That may be true-actually, I'm sure it is-but that isn't the point. You always assume whatever is wrong is instantly fixable, and that's not true or realistic. You're impatient with _everything_ except trying to…heal me inside." Elsa paused again before adding, "Even my leg, which you _know_ doesn't work right…you think if I try hard enough and believe in myself, it'll be all better. Real life doesn't work like that, Anna…it just doesn't. I wish it did; I really do. But it doesn't. We're not living in a fairy tale where everything works out exactly like you want it."

Anna's heart twisted as she watched Elsa move her right foot properly, and then struggle to do the same with her bad one. Elsa's expression said she expected the experiment not to work, and it wasn't. "Well, _I_ think we have a happy ending," she said firmly. "Our whole family is safe at home together, and Arendelle is pros-pres-prospering, too." _It's just that that happy ending would be better if Elsa wasn't still hurting inside. I don't care if her leg gets better or not as long as she doesn't feel 'different' or 'wrong' because of it. And that will be fine as long as no one tries to bother her about it._

"Just how could I be part of a 'happy ending'?" Elsa asked bitterly. _I tend to mess up things. Not ALL the time, but often I do. That's ridiculous anyway, Elsa. Don't get all enthralled with Anna's ideas of fairy tale happy endings. They don't exist. Besides, your realistic happy ending happened when you got Anna back last summer but didn't snap back to like you were at age eight. You could find more like that easily._ Elsa's expression suddenly brightened as she glanced shyly at her little sister. "Could I say that 'realistic happy endings' happen every day if I'm safe at home and my family doesn't hate me?"

Anna just hugged Elsa tightly. "I don't care what you say, Elsa. Just whatever makes you happy. And I don't care about anything you think is wrong with you, either. You're still just plain Elsa, my big sister," Anna said firmly. _Wait a second…Elsa thinks it's a happy ending just if she's safe at home and her family doesn't hate her?! That's all she wants?_

"Don't I _have_ to be happy to call it a 'realistic happy ending'?" Elsa asked, thinking through her own logic about the whole thing. "I mean, it isn't a happy ending if you're not happy, is it?"

"Oh, you…logic is boring! I don't know and I don't care! I'm glad you're queen and not me. I don't have to think about silly Elsa-things like logic!" Anna grinned as she started tickling Elsa, who yelped and began giggling and begging for Anna to stop. _Well, I made Elsa giggle. That's good._

Elsa tried her best to keep from resisting too much, afraid she might hurt Anna's leg further, but she couldn't help icy snowflakes from spreading all over the comforter. "Anna, I'm going to mess up my blankets and everything! Please quit tickling me!" she said finally. "Not to mention all this is making me tired again." She absentmindedly reached to scratch an itch on her foot and then just reached for a pillow off the floor and lay back down. "Thank you for making me feel better, Anna," she said quietly.

"You're welcome."

* * *

"Kiara, I wanna see Elsa!" Anikka complained for the umpteenth time that morning. "Bad Jade hurt Elsa again?" she asked worriedly.

Kiara scowled and tossed the book she was reading aside. The two of them had been banished to the library until further notice because they'd been being too loud while Rapunzel was trying to sleep. Kiara had already decided she hated babysitting, even though Anikka wasn't really being naughty. "We can't go see Elsa," Kiara said shortly. "And Jade is dead! She's not hurting any of us anymore, ok?"

Anikka was silent for a long moment as she looked down at the plaster on her arm. "I happy Elsa not be hurt bad." She somehow knew that if Elsa had been the one who'd been hit, she would have been very, very upset. Anikka had hated seeing Elsa so scared and upset when they were in the troll valley. Then she added, "Elsa be sad if Jade dead. Elsa like be nice to Jade." Anikka wasn't sure what she herself thought about Jade being dead-it was sad, but it was also a little hard to really miss someone who locked you and your best friend up and then hurt your friend badly and caused one of your other friends to hurt you, too. She climbed up on the window seat and looked outside. "People coming," she announced, pointing outside with her good hand.

Kiara ran over to the window and immediately gasped. "That's my stupid brother and Jade's brother!" she exclaimed. _Ok, what do I do? I have no idea what they might be up to…what would Elsa want me to do?_ In a flash, Kiara made her decision. "C'mon, Anikka, you're getting your wish. You're going to Elsa's room," she said firmly, grabbing the little girl by the hand and running off down the hall.

"I get t' see Elsa!" Anikka said happily, only too willing to follow Kiara down the hall. While Anikka felt more at ease around other people now, she still felt safest around Elsa. Elsa sometimes told her what to do, but she didn't sound so bossy like Kiara did. And Elsa still reminded her of her mother. It had scared her to see Elsa collapse; she wanted the older girl safe and happy. Anikka ran into Elsa's room eagerly, and Kiara shut the door behind her without going inside.

 _I should tell Elsa what I'm doing…wait, she's supposed to be resting. I can't tell her; she'll just get up and try to take care of everything herself._ Kiara nodded to herself and went off down the hall continuing what she was doing without consulting Elsa first.

* * *

Elsa immediately jerked completely awake again when she heard Anikka's light footsteps running into her room. "Anikka? Why isn't Kiara watching you?" Elsa asked sleepily. She frowned when she noticed Anikka's immobilized arm, but the little girl didn't seem particularly bothered by it. _Well, at least Anikka doesn't seem to be too upset about her arm. It has to still be hurting her, though…_ She scooted over so there was enough room on the bed for Anikka too, but she didn't make an effort to sit up. Elsa still felt so tired…not sick or anything, just tired, like if she got up, she might just fall asleep.

Anikka scrambled up on the bed and curled up next to Elsa, and Elsa grabbed a pillow and propped the little girl's arm up with it. "Bad people coming. I safe here. Kiara getting help," Anikka explained unconcernedly. As far as she was concerned, Kiara would go take care of the problem; and if she wasn't able to, then Elsa would protect her. "Elsa, Anikka's…my…my arm not hurt _too_ bad," she said honestly, knowing Elsa was all concerned from the way she gently put Anikka's arm on the pillow.

"Anikka, don't lie. Broken arms hurt. I know from experience," Elsa said quietly. "Don't try to use that hand for _anything._ If you need help with something, just ask me for it. I'll take care of you." Elsa hugged Anikka tightly before adding, "Thank you for protecting me when I couldn't do it for myself."

"Mommy?" Anikka asked hopefully at hearing Elsa say she would take care of her. "Please?"

Elsa just clutched the little girl tightly and couldn't help crying. Anikka still wanted _her_ to be a mother to her? Her, Elsa, the girl who still didn't know how to deal with her emotions very well; who was still scared and hurting inside? Why would Anikka want anything to do with her? She could still remember lying on the ground in pain just before her father had rescued them from the cave and Anikka saying ' _Elsa not be sad. I Elsa's friend.'_ Why did little Anikka even want to be friends with her? All Elsa saw when she looked in the mirror was someone damaged. Someone who looked sad and hurt…someone frightened a lot of the time. _That_ was 'just plain Elsa'. She couldn't see the rest of her, the someone who was willing to protect her friends and family and her country with her life; the someone who could build intricate architectural structures in minutes; the someone who loved and tried her best to take care of everyone around her. All she saw were the flaws. Things that she thought made her bad to others. She still didn't understand why anyone would love or care about 'just plain Elsa'. 'Just plain Elsa' was just…Elsa. No one important.

Anikka bit her lip as she looked up at Elsa. The older girl looked miserable. When she opened her blue eyes, even little Anikka could see the pain in her gaze. She was making the same face she had made in that cave. "I love you, Elsa," Anikka informed her. "Don't care 'bout mess-ups."

Elsa felt Anna hugging both her and Anikka close, and she smiled a tiny bit. She loved hugs, whether she thought she deserved them or not. (She didn't think so.) _I'm safe. Safe at home. And aren't 'mess-ups' what make us…us? Maybe I just have more mess-ups than most people. That's okay._ "Anikka, how's this? You get to stay here and be my little sister. I don't know how to be a mother," she said softly.

"Do too. Mommies p'otect ev'ryone. You do that," Anikka said happily. "That means Elsa already mommy!"

Anna giggled at that. "I think she got you, sis. You'd be a wonderful mother, Elsa," she told Elsa quietly. "It doesn't matter if you're hurting or sad or scared. You love Anikka. You take care of her as best you can already. She feels safe with you. You're already her mother, if you think about it."

Elsa's cheeks turned pink at that. _That does make sense. I just don't feel that I'm old enough or mature enough to take care of a child…I don't know. I suppose Gerda could help me take care of her if I mess up. I'll have to ask her first though._

"And Elsa, I know you're still going to be sad and hurting or scared inside sometimes, but that's all right. You're still… _you_. Those things don't define you. It's natural to be sad or hurt or scared or even angry after everything that's happened. You are always going to be just plain Elsa, who _is_ important, no matter what you might think," Anna said firmly. "You know one thing that I think makes you special? The way you just immediately forgave me for all those horrible awful things I said to you. I don't even understand why you would do such a thing."

"You forgave me for shutting you out for thirteen years," Elsa whispered. "You still care about someone like…me…Anna…I'd forgive you even if you _had_ genuinely meant all those things. It would hurt a hundred times worse, but I'd understand. You have absolutely _no reason_ to love or care about me. None at all…I…I just…I don't know…" _I mean, I believe she loves and cares about me, but she doesn't have any reason to._

Anna scowled. "Well, you stupidly thinking like that is a very, very good reason why I should. You are so dumb sometimes, Elsa! You're my big sister, for goodness sakes. Of course I love and care about you. Why shouldn't I? Tell me that!"

Elsa just blinked in confusion at her little sister. "I mess up things, and I'm weird."

"So does everyone else on the planet, you little stinker," Anna retorted. "You're _supposed_ to mess up sometimes! That's what makes us human. And if you're weird, then I'm weird too. I'm related to you, remember? Do you think I'm weird?"

Elsa started giggling as she thought about what Anna had told her. "You _are_ weird! In a good way. I don't know anyone but you who does things like keeping her room a danger zone and then says it's 'perfectly organized to me!' Or when you tried to get me to go on a date…ew. You make me laugh when I'm upset, and-"

"If all that is true, then why did you say you were weird like being weird was a bad thing?" Anna asked, half giggling herself and very happy to see Elsa's bright smile again.

"I don't know. Anikka, we need to go downstairs," Elsa said now, remembering why Anikka had come into her room in the first place. _Hans and Espen. That's who Anikka was talking about. Why didn't Kiara tell me? She's old enough to know to do that…_ Elsa closed her eyes and sighed; then promptly wished she hadn't since her ribs were still sore. They already felt better, which Elsa decided probably meant they were just bruised, but they still ached. "Anikka, would you mind coming with me to find out what's going on?" Elsa asked finally.

"I could watch her," Anna offered. "We could just stay in here, and…wait a second. Elsa, you can't go 'find out what's going on'! You still look exhausted! You're gonna collapse and fall asleep again." _How is Elsa going to get better if she just keeps pushing herself past her limits over and over?_

Elsa thought for a moment and then shook her head. "No. Anna, you can barely get out of bed. You wouldn't be able to chase after Anikka if she runs off. And besides, knowing you, you'd probably just follow me and take Anikka with you. Or worse yet, send Anikka to see what I'm doing. So no. You stay here. I want you safe," she said firmly. Elsa's blue eyes flicked over to her brace still lying on the floor in the far corner. _I want to get that myself. Without help._ Without thinking it through any further, she slowly stood up the same way she had the night before, holding the bedpost tightly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before struggling to take a step with her bad leg. Immediately she crumpled to the floor, and Elsa bit her lip as she dragged herself back to her feet. "I want to do it by myself," she muttered to herself.

Anna frowned as Elsa tried again and again. _She's trying so hard, and it's just plain not working…_ "Elsa, let Anikka get it for you," she said quietly. "You tried, and it didn't work. Try again another time."

"No. I _will_ get my brace by myself, without using any of my magic," Elsa said firmly. "My magic's all tired out still, anyways." She tried once again and promptly fell. Her bad leg wasn't responding to her mind's orders, on top of refusing to hold her weight. _Why won't it work?! I just want to get across my room. That's it. Why can't I do it? Am I really this helpless if I don't use my powers? That's a wonderful realization. Not._ Elsa sighed as she pulled herself to her feet once more. This time she managed to move her bad leg forward a tiny bit, but it still collapsed under her. Elsa bit her lip again as she finally just awkwardly crawled over to the corner, ignoring her sister's and Anikka's upset faces. _Well, I had to get over here like a baby, but I did do it by myself. I did do it by myself._ Elsa slowly strapped her brace back on her leg and stood up. "I did do it by myself finally," she said softly.

Anna scowled. "Elsa, _why_ didn't you let Anikka get it for you?" _I just watched my big sister crawl across the room. Elsa should not have had to do that. Should I have just made Anikka get it for her anyway? No…Elsa wanted to do it 'by herself'. I probably would have made her feel worse if I did that. She's so stubborn!_

"Because I wanted to do it by myself," Elsa replied matter-of-factly. "And I did." She limped over to the window and locked it; then sealed it with ice. Even if it wasn't her impenetrable ice, it would make it all that much harder for someone to break in. Then she grabbed her sparkling silver-white ice-dress from the day before and quickly changed in the bathroom before coming back. "Anna, if someone gets in here and tries to bother you, you scream as loud as possible. Okay?"

Anna scowled again. "Why can't I come too? You're taking Anikka with you," she pointed out.

"You have a broken leg, that's why," Elsa said matter-of-factly. _Is Anna crazy?! It probably still hurts something awful, and there's no way I can help Anna downstairs anyway. I'll barely be able to get myself downstairs since I don't dare use my powers unless I absolutely need to._ "Anna, you can't walk, and I don't trust myself to help you with the stairs, either. You are staying here, Anna, and that's that. I'll be back soon. I promise."

"I want to come with you! You can't walk properly either, Elsa. Besides, you're sleepy, and-"

"Well, mine doesn't hurt," Elsa interrupted quietly. "Anna, could you please not say things like that? I _know_ I walk with a limp. You don't have to tell me. Come on, Anikka." Elsa simply took Anikka by the hand and left the room, not sure what else to say. _I understand why Anna is irritated with me, but still. She didn't have to say that._

 _Elsa, she just said a fact. Don't get upset over it._

 _I know. It just stung anyways. I'm going to go downstairs and take care of whatever is going on._

* * *

Anikka held Elsa's hand tightly as they went down the hall. "I not think Anna mean to hurt Elsa. Anna mad 'cause Elsa not let Anna come." She looked up at Elsa waiting for a reply, but Elsa didn't say anything. "Elsa look pretty," she added. Anikka decided she loved the dress Elsa was wearing-it made the older girl look like an actual icy snowflake to her.

"Thank you, Anikka," Elsa said softly. _I wish I had just put on something else. I like this dress too, but it makes me feel too exposed._ She subconsciously tugged at her skirt, as if that would make it cover her brace better. Elsa didn't mind if people saw ice on her leg, but somehow the old one in plain sight bothered her now. _Elsa, you're being stupid. Everyone knows there's something wrong with that leg; what does it matter if anyone sees that brace?_

 _I don't know. I guess I'm just being immature._ Elsa closed her eyes and bit her lip before carefully starting down the stairs. "Anikka, just stay behind me. That way if I fall, I won't fall on you. Okay?"

"That just part of Elsa. Not matter," Anikka said with certainty, pointing at Elsa's braced leg. She had noticed Elsa tugging on her skirt and figured out that the older girl was feeling self-conscious about it. Anikka didn't understand Elsa's feelings about the whole thing-she just saw the same Elsa as always.

Elsa smiled a bit as she and Anikka continued downstairs.

 **A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**

 **P.S. I know I owe several people PM's...I will reply ASAP.:)**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **readeronly76-I think so, too, lol.:) On both counts.**

 **Dragonheart35-Agreed. Anikka is probably actually more good for Elsa than the other way around...Anikka's simple 'this is this. that is that' and 'if/then' logic is exactly what Elsa needs. Besides, having someone that Elsa _knows_ is attached to her and feels safest around her, even if she doesn't understand why, is probably something else she needs. :)**

 **AvatarxFrozen-Agreed, Elsa would be a wonderful mother, and she kind of already is. :)**

 **Elsa Tomago-Anna thought that because she _knows_ Elsa is still hurt inside.:/ I thought Anna NEEDED to talk to Elsa about how she's feeling. Nobody can help Elsa unless they know what's bothering her.:P Of course.:) Well, quite honestly I think Elsa has a realistic view of everything that's on the pessimistic side. Being eternally optimistic like Anna always is just sets anyone up for disappointment.:/ What both of them need is a view in between.:) We're getting somewhat close to the end, yes.:) (I'll tell everyone when there's 1-2 chapters left.:))**

 **raven678-Thank you.:) I thought Elsa and Anna really needed a nice calm discussion. :P Well, Kiara thought Elsa should be resting (which is true), but Kiara also had absolutely NO right to go handle it on her own. Yes, she should have told Elsa.**

 **On to the story!:)**

By the time Elsa and Anikka had reached the main entry hall, Kiara had already gotten Hans and Espen inside against the wall while she pointed a pistol at them. "Kiara Westergaard, where did you get that gun?!" Elsa demanded.

"The castle armory. You were supposed to be resting, and I knew I could take care of this," Kiara replied nonchalantly.

Elsa resisted the urge to chew Kiara out for not even telling her what was going on or what she was doing. _Elsa, calm down. Do not fuss at Kiara right now. Do not make a scene._ "Kiara, the pistol, if you please," she said coolly, holding her hand out. _I'm so tired. I need to get back upstairs. Soon, before I collapse again…_

"I doubt you're s'posed to be using a pistol right now, Elsa. You twisted your wrist," Kiara replied, keeping her eyes focused on Espen and Hans.

"The left one works fine. Kiara, hand it over. Now. I will take care of this. You may stay in the room, but let me take care of this myself." Elsa took the gun herself in her left hand, happy that she had at least held one before with her non-dominant hand, even if she wasn't very good at shooting with that hand. She wouldn't need to do that anyway.

Kiara scowled at Elsa, but she didn't protest further. _I'm not going to make Elsa look silly in front of them. She's my friend._ She stepped back, holding Anikka by the hand as the two of them watched Elsa.

"Why are you here?" Elsa asked in her best 'queen' tone. _Please just cooperate. Please._

"We were hoping for mercy regarding our sentencing if we turned ourselves in," Espen said immediately, looking Elsa right in the eyes. _No, I don't want to hurt you like my sister did._ "We brought you the book my sister stole from the trolls…you oughta read it before returning it, if I may say so." He awkwardly bowed, and Elsa tilted her head to one side in confusion.

 _They're turning themselves in? Is this some sort of trick? Why would they do that?_ Elsa's thoughts raced as she tried to figure out what to do. _Gerda told me to be purely logical. I should not let them go. I should put them in the dungeon._ "I'll have to put both of you in the castle dungeon for the time being," Elsa said finally. "Kiara, take the book, please." Elsa pointedly kept her gaze away from Hans's eyes, somehow sensing that he was eyeing her up and down. _Can't he stop that?! I'm nothing much to look at anyway and it's making me feel weird._

"Good grief, Hans, quit staring at her!" Kiara exploded finally, not caring if she most likely wasn't supposed to interfere anymore. "Yes, Queen Elsa is pretty. Now stop acting like an idiot and leave her be!"

"Enough, Kiara," Elsa said quietly. To Hans and Espen she said in a louder voice, "Thank you for being honest about your involvement in recent events, but I still have to put you in the dungeon for now." Elsa headed straight for the castle dungeon, putting both of them in the same cell. She wouldn't force them to be in solitary confinement, not when they'd voluntarily turned themselves in. Besides, these two hadn't been the ringleader of everything that had happened, either. "You will receive meals, of course," she said flatly, wanting them to understand that she wasn't angry with them.

Elsa was just about to shut the cell door when Hans asked a question. "Could I tell you one thing without receiving punishment?" he asked in a half-joking sort of tone.

"Yes. What is it?" Elsa asked.

 _I should not tell her. What's the point? Then again, she keeps her promises. She won't do anything to me for telling her._ "You're drop-dead gorgeous, even if you look part cyborg with that brace," Hans blurted finally.

Elsa's expression immediately went completely neutral at that comment. "Thank you for the compliment, but I am _not_ interested," she said quietly but firmly. "You don't like me for _me_ , and there is no reason why you should. I'm not a 'pretty object' for you or anyone else to look at." Elsa shut the door and locked it, not knowing what else to say. _I don't know whether to be insulted or pleased, but I do know I don't want anyone 'liking' me. Especially not someone I can never trust._ "Come on, Kiara, Anikka, let's go upstairs."

* * *

Kiara frowned as Elsa struggled up the stairs back to the main first floor of the castle. _She's exhausted. I don't think Elsa's gonna make it all the way upstairs…_ "Snow Queen Elsa, d'you want me to get somebody to help you?" she asked hesitantly. "You look like you're about to fall over."

"I'm…okay…" Quite honestly, Elsa could barely hold herself upright and stay on her feet any longer. _I just have to get upstairs to my room. Then I can lay down until I feel stronger._ She tried to step up onto the next stair, but missed and nearly fell. Elsa tried again; and this time she made it, her legs shaking under her.

"You're, like, shaking, Elsa. You need help!" Kiara repeated, staying right by her friend's side. "You know what, that's it, I don't care if you're the queen, I'm going to-" Kiara cut herself off and grabbed for her friend's hand as Elsa's braced leg slid right out from under her.

Too late. Elsa yelped as she failed to catch herself and just fell back down the stairs, coming to a stop at the bottom. Kiara and Anikka ran back down the steps after her; and Kiara just knelt by her friend's side and gently pulled Elsa's head and shoulders onto her lap. "Anikka, go get Elsa's dad or Kai, whoever you find first. One of them can carry her back upstairs," Kiara said firmly.

Anikka hesitated before nodding and running back upstairs as fast as her little five-year-old legs could carry her.

At the bottom of the steps, Kiara tried to get Elsa to respond, worried that the older girl had hit her head or something. Kiara knew Elsa had at least given herself a nasty bruise because her pale skin was already turning colors on one side of her face. "Elsa, why do you keep managing to hurt yourself so much?!" she demanded.

Elsa stirred a bit and slowly blinked up at Kiara with tired eyes. "I got to go upstairs," she mumbled. "Kiara…will you…help?" _What happened? Did I really just fall down the stairs? My face hurts. I bet I gave myself a shiner again…_

"No, I won't. You're lying still right here 'til Anikka comes back with someone to carry you," Kiara said firmly. "I might be half your age, but you're still my friend and I won't have you hurting yourself again."

"My face hurts." Elsa's blue eyes drifted shut again. She briefly thought about using her magic to get upstairs; then discarded the idea, knowing her powers were still depleted badly and that she would probably just pass out. After all, she'd already collapsed and fallen down the stairs. _Being down here in the dungeon did not make me get all upset or have a flashback…I guess I've replaced that 'traumatic memory' with different ones? I don't know,_ she thought ruefully.

* * *

Kiara looked up when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "She's right here, Mr. Grieg," she announced. "Elsa just couldn't make it up the steps by herself 'cause she's so tired."

Agdar shook his head when he saw Elsa and immediately picked her up. _Why didn't she send for someone to help her deal with whatever exactly was going on? I doubt that little girl Anikka explained everything…_ "Elsa, what did you do to yourself this time?" he scolded.

"She tried to walk upstairs by herself and she fell," Kiara volunteered when Elsa made no reply. "She also easily took care of Hans and Espen and put 'em down here in the dungeon, too." Kiara decided not to tell Agdar about the book; she didn't trust him not to take it away, and she knew Elsa was supposed to read it.

Agdar made no response as he quickly carried his daughter back upstairs. _What are we going to do with Elsa? She needs help. And I still need to talk to her about what happened with that treasonous Jade. I want to know exactly what happened before telling her what she did was wrong. I know for a fact she was trying to do the right thing, but she cares too much about people and forgives them too easily…_

* * *

"Anna, you're going to need to go back to your room, at least temporarily," Agdar told Anna as he walked in with Elsa in his arms. "I need to talk to your sister by herself once she wakes up again."

Anna scowled. "Talk to her about what? Are you gonna make Elsa have a panic attack again, Dad? 'Cause I know she's still hurting. She said so!" Anna made a face as her father gently laid Elsa on the bed and tucked her under the covers. "Did Elsa fall and hurt herself because she collapsed?" she asked quietly. _Oh, Elsa. What are we going to do with you? Well, I know one thing_ I'm _going to do. Give you so many hugs you'll just absolutely have to realize you're safe and loved right here at home._

"It's none of your business, Anna. I just need to talk to Elsa about something. If she starts having a panic attack again, I promise I will come get you," Agdar offered.

"It's a little late, once it already starts!" Anna retorted. "Dad, I am _not_ leaving her unless she tells me to. And even then I will sit right outside the door and bug her 'til she lets me come back. You don't understand her, and that means you hurt her even when you're not trying to. I won't have Elsa hurt any more than she already is!" She paused for a moment before adding in a barely audible voice, "I…don't think Elsa can take it." _I know Elsa will be fine eventually, but she's not fine right now. She needs help, and a lot of it._ "Dad, I…I don't think you understand. You weren't there. You didn't see her crumpled on the ground holding her burned hands against her chest. You didn't see her crying and trying to _apologize_ , of all things, when poisoned-me took her brace away. Dad, she was terrified. Terrified and in pain and hurting something _awful_ inside. That whole thing took something away from her-the trust that there was someone who would never hurt her like that. Poisoned-me told her things that prob'ly literally broke her inside." Anna suddenly burst into tears herself as she threw her arms around Elsa and just clutched her tightly. "I want my confident big sister back! Elsa deserves better than this!"

Elsa half-registered something holding her, realized it was Anna, and weakly scooted closer, holding Anna's hand with both of her own. "Thank…you…Anna," she said contentedly. _I don't know how I got up here, but I'm safe in my room with Anna. That's good._ She felt a cool (to her) wet something being laid across her bruised face and briefly wondered who had done that; but decided she didn't care since Anna was right next to her.

"Dad, Elsa's immune to cold. I don't think that's gonna help," Elsa heard Anna say.

"Well, it can't possibly hurt her," she heard her father reply. "Elsa? Can you hear me?"

"Mmhmm," Elsa responded, not wanting to move. She still felt so, so tired. And she wanted her magic to be back to normal. With her powers severely depleted (albeit better), Elsa still felt like there was something missing inside her. _At least I don't feel sick. That's good, anyways._

"Elsa, Dad wants to talk to you," Anna told her sister. "Not that I want him to, 'cause I don't, but do you think you're awake enough to talk to him?" _Say no, Elsa. Please say no…_

"Papa wants to talk to me?" Elsa asked curiously, slowly turning over onto her back as she blinked tiredly up at her father. _What is it, Papa? Did I mess up again or was it just something random you wanted to talk to me about?_

Agdar awkwardly brushed a stray wisp of platinum hair out of Elsa's face and gave her a slight smile. "Only if you feel up to it, Elsa. It's important, but it can wait a little while longer if you don't feel well enough right now," he told her. "Because I need to talk to you by yourself, not with Anna here too."

Elsa's blue eyes flicked nervously from her sister to her father and back again; but then she closed her eyes and sighed before saying determinedly, "I can talk now," she said finally, her voice barely more than a whisper. _Just stay calm, Elsa. Anna will come right back, and both of you are perfectly safe. You're lying in bed in your own room in the castle. You're fine. Nobody is going to hurt you or Anna or anyone else again._

* * *

Anna gave her sister a reassuring squeeze before leaving, and Elsa just looked up at her father as she fiddled with a loose thread on her comforter. "What is it, Papa?" Elsa asked curiously.

Agdar decided to cut to the chase. "Why did you try to save Jade, Elsa?" he asked flatly. "And what happened, exactly?"

Elsa slowly turned her head away and closed her eyes, but she was determined to tell her father the truth. "I tried to save her because she was just a girl in pain like me…someone who had made a lot of mistakes. I couldn't just _let_ someone attempt…s-suicide right in front of me and do nothing about it," she said softly. "Even if that someone had hurt me badly and hurt others as well. I do, however, understand why the whole thing was questionable. Jade deserved the death sentence; I do admit that. But…" she looked back up at her father, her blue eyes brimming with tears. "Anna…Anna…she s-saved _me_ , Papa. I wanted to do the same for s-someone else…I…I hurt Anna, too. If it wasn't okay for m-me to try to save Jade, then it wasn't okay f-for Anna to save me, either." Elsa's slender body was trembling as she turned on her side and hid her face in her hands as she tried her best not to cry.

Agdar's expression darkened as he instinctively pulled Elsa into his arms, making sure she stayed wrapped up in the comforter. He still wasn't comfortable around Elsa when she became upset and lost control, but he was determined not to scare her and send her into a panic attack again. _What's happened to her? Has Elsa always been like this and she was just holding it in when she was little? Or did Jade do this to her?_

 _It's a combination of both, and you know it. She was getting better until Jade's actions hurt her all over again. She's…broken._

 _No, she isn't. She's just hurting and she's going to be fine._ "That is nonsense, Elsa. Complete, utter nonsense. It is never, ever 'ok' for a citizen to hurt their queen like that. Never. No matter what the monarch has or has not done," he said firmly. Agdar said nothing more, afraid that anything else he said to Elsa might make it worse; but he held the crying girl securely in his arms and just hugged her. Although Agdar still wasn't a very hugging sort of person, he knew Elsa liked hugs and therefore she was going to have one. _She's still a little girl. Literally. And that logic…she thinks she's the same as Jade?! Elsa thinks that what she did to Anna is the same as what Jade did to her, let alone everything else Jade did?!_ "Elsa…do you really honestly think you're like Jade?" he asked finally.

"I hurt Anna," Elsa said simply, her voice muffled in her father's jacket.

"Those were accidents, Elsa," Agdar said firmly. "The things Jade did were the farthest things from accidents. You hurting Anna was not your fault."

Elsa abruptly tried to pull away from her father, her blue eyes betraying the fact that she felt absolutely miserable. "Papa, y-you…you treated me like it was m-my fault," she whispered after a moment, keeping her arms wrapped around her middle, hugging herself. "You put…m-me in the…d-dungeon for letting…Anna hug…me." _I'm not mad and I don't hold any grudges for that, though. It just…hurt. A lot._

"It was wrong to do that, Elsa. Completely wrong. I can't fix that now, but I am truly sorry, Elsa," Agdar told her quietly. "You never belonged in that cell, least of all for letting Anna hug you. You being…different was a horrible reason to treat you like that." He noticed Elsa had started shaking again and he forced his own tears not to fall as he awkwardly pulled her close, ignoring the snowflakes floating around her. "You're safe now, Elsa. You are safe at home and no one is going to hurt you again. We love-" Agdar cut himself off when he heard Elsa's voice break.

"…remember that awful c-cage-room, Papa…c-can't help thinking…l-like horrible r-reality-I can't…" Even Elsa herself could tell that nothing she said was making any sense, and she abruptly stopped talking, not wanting to say anything else. _Forget about it, Elsa. That's not real; that wasn't Anna. You don't have to worry about what COULD have happened when you were little. Anna doesn't hate you. Papa doesn't hate you, either. They don't want to put you in the castle dungeon and leave you there. The cage-room was in Jade's cave. That was her fault. Not yours, not Anna's, not anyone else's. You were not and are not left in the dungeon hurt and in pain for ages. And it isn't going to happen. You're safe. You're acting ridiculous, Elsa. Snap out of it._

"No one is putting you in a cage or anything else of the sort, Elsa. You are safe at home. Cease being ridiculous and calm down." Agdar paused, wondering what on earth to say to Elsa. _Can my little girl really take care of Arendelle right now? She can't even hold a serious conversation without breaking down. What if Elsa never gets better? Will she always be broken and hurting inside? Elsa is my little girl! She doesn't deserve this. All her life she's been hurt and pushed away like she wasn't important. It's going to take who knows what to replace that._ Seeing Elsa like this was like a dagger straight to the heart for Agdar. She couldn't do much of anything by herself at the moment. She'd pushed herself physically to the point she could barely stand up. She was hurting inside badly. And even once she regained her physical strength, she still wouldn't be able to walk properly, nor could she automatically 'fix' the things hurting her inside. Agdar thought his little girl was an absolute mess, but right then he decided he did not care. _Just because Elsa is messed up doesn't mean I can't still treat her with the love and care she deserves. I'll not just push her aside and virtually 'throw her away' like I did to her when she was little. And I will not treat her like she's defective or broken, either, no matter what is potentially permanently hurt inside her.._

* * *

Elsa somehow sensed that there was something different about her father, and she pulled herself away, nearly falling against the pillows in the process. "Papa?" she asked hesitantly.

Agdar took one glance at Elsa's questioning face and instantly grabbed her hand and held it tightly. "I love you, Elsa. Just like you are," he said gently.

Elsa just stared at him incredulously for a moment and then just hugged her father as tightly as she could, happy tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm…good enough…like I am?" she asked. _My leg doesn't matter? It's okay that I have ice powers? Me hurting inside and losing control sometimes is all right?_

Agdar pulled away from Elsa's instinctive hug and gently touched her bruised cheek. "Yes, Elsa. You are quite good enough like you are," he said firmly. "You just need help. I do not like seeing you hurting like this. I don't think I am the one to help you with that sort of thing, though. Go to Anna or Gerda or perhaps your mother. All right?" He smiled at Elsa the second she nodded. "Also, if you ever feel like you might need help with monarchial business, that I will help you with if you like. I will not, however, help you with…that," he added awkwardly, gesturing at her bad leg. "Nor will I pretend to know how to handle those special abilities of yours any longer. Those things you will just have to figure out by yourself or with Gerda." _Anna can't help Elsa with her leg…she gets too excited about things and she'll probably try to make Elsa do too much too fast, even though she means well._

Elsa smiled a bit, but then frowned. "Papa, what was it you wanted to talk to me about originally?" she asked. _I just completely lost it for a minute. What is wrong with me?_

"Just about the whole Jade thing. Elsa, I want you to know I personally believe what you did was wrong. She deserved the death sentence, and instead you tried to save her. That being said, I respect your decision, even if I don't understand why you did it. But from what I can tell, you let her take blood from you, and there is _no way_ you could have been a hundred percent certain it wouldn't take your powers away from you. That is the one and only actual logical reason that you shouldn't have done that. I think morally you could make an argument both ways." Agdar paused for a moment before continuing, "And Elsa, you make sure you remember you are _not_ anything like Jade. I won't have my daughter go around comparing herself with a traitor who practically tortured you and killed children. Just no. You've constantly chosen to do what's best for others and not yourself since you were little. That idiot Jade always did what _she_ wanted, no matter what the cost was to others. Now you stay in bed and rest until you're stronger. I don't want you collapsing or falling down stairs again. I will have Gerda bring you something to eat."

 _I still wish I could have saved Jade, though…_ Elsa just watched with wide blue eyes as her father got up and started to walk away. "Papa…I…that is…just thank you," she said finally. _Because for the first time that I can remember, you actually made me feel_ better _. You didn't hurt me or tell me to 'conceal, don't feel' and you gave me a hug. I even accidentally made snowflakes and you didn't even mention it._ "Thank you for…for accepting me even though I'm n-not the daughter you wanted. I'm sorry for being such a…a burden on the family because I'm-"

"That's it, I've heard enough," Agdar interrupted. _Elsa isn't a burden. She's a sweet little thing that needs all of us to help her, just as she helps all of us by trying to keep everyone safe._ "You are coming with me to your mother's and my room. No arguments."

 **A/N: So Agdar finally managed to actually help Elsa instead of making her upset. :) And yes, Espen and Hans just turned themselves in. They know Elsa will treat them fairly...well, probably she's too nice, but still. :P**

 **Next chapter coming soon!**

 **P.S. I apologize for not updating 'No Escape' yet. I'm having trouble with the next chapter...I know what I want to happen; it's just not coming out right. :/**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **readeronly76-I'm glad you liked it.:) Merry Christmas to you, too.:)**

 **raven678-I thought it was about time Agdar genuinely helped Elsa and admitted he was wrong.:) Of course Elsa will be better eventually. Just give her a chance.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-And I PM'ed you, so I won't make you reread the same thing here.:)**

 **johnpatgillespie-That's okay.:) Thanks for reviewing!**

 **Guest-Sorry you didn't like it.**

 **WarriorQueen 14-I PM'ed you, so I won't make you reread the same thing here.:)**

 **Mandy-That's okay!:) I hope you feel better soon. I'm glad you liked the last couple chapters.:) Elsa WILL be okay...I promise. She just needs time and an awful lot of TLC. :) I thought it was about time Agdar actually helped Elsa and made her feel better.:) Anna is really a bit _over_ protective of Elsa sometimes.:P I do like your new phrase quite a lot.:) I'm glad I could help! Well, that's in this chapter.:) And yes, I am posting it 'tomorrow' (at least I think it's tomorrow from when you posted your review). :) I updated No Escape too.:)**

 **On to the story!**

"Agdar, what are you doing with Elsa?" Idun asked the second he walked in carrying Elsa. "Is she all right? Here, put her right here," she added, gesturing to one of the large soft chairs near the fire. "That way Elsa can either sit up and read or something, or just curl up and go to sleep if she wants to. Elsa, if you get too warm, just tell us, and we'll put the fire out, ok, sweetie?" Idun frowned when she saw the bruises on Elsa's cheek that hadn't been there before, but she didn't say anything about it. _My guess is that she fell. I won't bother her about it._

"Okay," Elsa said quietly as she sat fiddling with the silvery crystals on the straps of her dress feeling self-conscious. This was too much fussing for her; she did like her parents actually wanting to be with her and taking care of her, but she did _not_ like being fussed over. She started tensing up with both of them asking her if she was all right and did she want anything and was she tired and if her leg was bothering her and whatever else. _Please just leave me alone. Can't you just stay in the room and not fuss over me? It makes me feel funny._ "Mama…Papa…I…I really need a bit of space and quiet," Elsa said finally in a hesitant voice.

"Of course, sweetie," Idun said quickly, lightly shaking her head at Agdar to tell him to leave Elsa alone. "We'll be right here if you need something. Just speak up and say so. Would you like a book to read?"

Elsa smiled a bit and nodded. "I'd like the book Kiara is taking care of for me, please. She'll know which one I mean." _Thank you for understanding._

* * *

Agdar waited until his wife had left the room before saying what he wanted to say to Elsa. _She wants space…all right. But I need to tell her one more thing that I forgot to tell her._ "Elsa…I need to tell you one last thing. Then you can have your peace and quiet." He walked over to Elsa and sat down in the chair across from her and thought for a moment.

Elsa just watched her father expectantly. _What did you want to tell me, Papa?_

"Elsa, you…you used to use logic and only logic to control your actions when you were younger. That girl is gone; she left this place never to return when you stopped relying on 'conceal, don't feel'. Elsa, no, please don't start that again! Calm down," Agdar ordered when he saw Elsa holding her hands together close against her chest and some sort of negative emotion, he had no idea what, in her big blue eyes. "Elsa, stop it. Stop this instant!"

Elsa dropped her hands to her lap and she did not cry, but her shoulders remained tense as she looked at Agdar warily. What if her daddy wanted her to 'conceal, don't feel' again? She didn't know _how_ to do that, and she thought she might explode if she did try that again.

Agdar sighed. "I understand that using that phrase constantly is wrong and does not work. But you can't let your emotions control you, Elsa. I could completely understand emotions taking over right after we found you in that cave. You were badly hurt, you couldn't walk, couldn't breathe properly, couldn't defend yourself, you were in awful pain, et cetera. But you've got to snap out of it, Elsa. You may be weak and tired right now, but you are _fine_. You're safe now. At least go back to the girl I saw when your mother and I first came back. The girl that took over Weselton in mere minutes. That Elsa may have still had scars inside from awful parenting since she was tiny, but she wasn't…wasn't…"

"Wasn't like present me," Elsa said softly. "She wasn't hurting so bad anymore. I'm sorry, Papa…I didn't mean to m-mess everything up…"

Agdar marched over to the girl and shook her shoulders hard. "Elsa, _stop_! I am not trying to make you apologize for things that aren't your fault. I am trying to alert you of a problem so you can get others to help you fix it. Hurting is fine. Letting that hurt control you is not. You are strong enough to deal with it; I know you are. You are going to have to shove those negative feelings aside when you take charge as queen. You will _not_ let the entire public know about this. You will get help from people you trust and fix it. You are a queen, and you will act as such, even when you don't feel like you can. Being a reigning monarch is as much about acting and public relations as it is ruling and paperwork. Your ruling and paperwork skills are good. Your acting and public relations and socializing skills are terrible. So remedy that, Elsa Grieg. Immediately." He gently scooped Elsa up and simply held her when he finally noticed she looked torn between being happy and breaking down in tears again. _What am I supposed to do with her? I know she needs help, but she can't break down anymore. And it feels…awkward to hold or hug her. What if I hurt her again? And what if someone else hurts her again in the future like Jade did?_ "Elsa, I can't promise that someone won't hurt you again in the future like Jade did-it's an inherent job hazard of being queen. But I can promise you that there will _always_ be at least one person that will be able try to rescue you-yourself. Never lose hope or your head."

"Jade hurting me…isn't what affected me so much," Elsa said almost inaudibly. "It…it w-was the prospect of Anna hurting m-me…I _know_ it wasn't her fault, but…it s-scared me…." _Why did I say that, even though it's the truth? Papa will say that's stupid._

 _Elsa is telling me that Jade physically torturing her isn't even why she's like this?!_ "That isn't logical, Elsa. I go back and repeat what I said before-you need to find that logical girl inside you and bring her back." Agdar gently set Elsa back down in the chair; then simply knelt in front of her and held her hands so she was forced to look at her palms. "You know I still don't like those…abilities you have, but don't forget just how much power you hold in that tiny body of yours. You fixed Anna yourself. You froze that cage thing in that cave, despite those burns all over your hands-I saw it. Tell me how you did that, Elsa."

"My thoughts and feelings. I couldn't use my hands-it hurt too much…"

Agdar resisted the urge to shudder and get as far away from Elsa's pale hands as possible. _She can direct ice with her thoughts. My daughter can direct ice with her thoughts and feelings! Great…just great. Not._ He took a deep breath before saying, "Well then, you could have frozen Jade solid. You chose not to because you have too-thoughtful morals. In any event, my point is that I have a feeling those…ice powers of yours will do pretty much anything. You are stuck with them for life, so you may as well figure them out. I think that will help you both inside and out. Now sit there quietly and wait for your mother to bring that book you wanted back."

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa just stared at the thick hardbound book in her lap. Only one word, written in a simple yet swirling print, was on the cover. _Magic._ Elsa moved to open the book and then frowned when it wouldn't open. _There's no lock or anything…it's sealed shut somehow._ Knowing Jade had somehow managed to open it, and that Hans and Espen had seen at least part of it, confused her. She should be able to open it. Elsa frowned as she touched one finger to the 'M' on the front.

It began turning blue at her touch.

 _Did I lose control?! I can't ruin this book! It has to belong to the trolls; I know it does. Wait a second…_ Elsa smiled, realizing what she had to do. "I have to trace it," she said to herself. She quickly ran her finger over the letters, and just as she had thought, the book easily opened now.

 _'Dedicated to every natural mage that lived, lives, and will live,'_ Elsa read. She slowly turned the page to see a slightly unnerving message. _'Warning: If you are reading this message and you are not a mage of any kind, this book is stolen. Nothing good will come of reading it. That being said, if that is not the case and you come by this book honestly, then read on and let your imagination fly, just like you may be able to._ Elsa's hesitant smile grew bigger at that. "That's right. I _can_ fly," she said quietly.

"What did you say, Elsa?" Agdar asked. "What is that book, anyway?"

"I said I could fly," Elsa replied truthfully. "Papa, I don't…I don't think you would like this book very much," she added hesitantly. _Papa might not even supposed to be reading it for all I know…_

Agdar frowned. "Elsa, is that book about magic? You have quite enough already. I don't like you flying anyways. What if you fall?" _I don't want Elsa reading that. It might put stupid ideas in her head. Wait…_ "Never mind, Elsa. Don't listen to me. Read the book."

Elsa glanced down at her braced leg and then at her hands before saying softly, "My leg doesn't matter one way or the other when I'm flying, and I feel like a bird. And it's probably more likely that I would fall _not_ flying than if I were. And…thank you, Papa." She slowly turned to the next page and didn't say anything more. _That's the truth…part of the reason I fell down the stairs was because my bad leg slipped out from under me. Okay, and I was tired, but still._ She twisted partway around in the chair when she heard footsteps coming toward her, and immediately wished she hadn't. _Ow. Mental note: Elsa, don't do that 'til those ribs are better._

Idun stopped in her tracks when she saw Elsa make that pained face, and then just ran over to her. "Are you all right, sweetie?" she asked.

"Mama, I'm _fine._ I just twisted too far and it made my ribs hurt." Elsa pointedly turned back to her book, hoping that her parents would get the message that yes, she wanted to be in the room with them; but no, she did _not_ want to talk or be fussed over. She just wanted peace and quiet with her parents actually being there with her. Part of her was certain that they wouldn't understand…even Anna didn't really understand her inherent need for a bit of quiet once in a while. Elsa felt someone standing behind her and slammed the book shut. "Mama. You're hovering over me and I am trying to read," she said firmly.

"Do…do you want anything, Elsa?"

Elsa finally just slowly stood up, keeping one hand on the chair to steady herself. "Mama, yes, as a matter of fact I do. I want to sit in a room with my parents without being asked questions every ten seconds!" She bit her lip as she looked back at her mother, knowing she'd probably hurt her feelings, even though she hadn't meant to. "I'm sorry, Mama. I…I don't know how to explain it, but I _need_ a bit of quiet sometimes. Otherwise I feel nervous and antsy. I'm sorry I'm not much of a talker…" _Like Anna is,_ her mind insisted on adding. Elsa felt herself starting to get upset, and she hugged the book to her chest as she slowly backed away. _I have to get out of here. They'll start fussing again and I can't deal with that right now._

 _Elsa, just get yourself out into the hall. You can make it that far._

* * *

"I don't think we should let her be," Idun said quietly the second Elsa had left. "I'm not quite sure I understand why she wants to be alone, but…she does, evidently. But she needs someone to be with her."

Agdar just stared at his wife. "Idun, she isn't Anna. Don't treat her like Anna, either. Being alone sometimes isn't going to hurt her." _Elsa must be introverted. I don't know why I didn't really realize it, but she is. And that isn't because she's hurt or scared…it's just Elsa's personality. She was perfectly happy to be in here until we talked to her too much when she was trying to read her silly book._ "She needs to fix herself inside. We will help her do so."

"What if she hurts herself, Agdar? She's still too weak to walk much on her own," Idun replied worriedly. "I'm going to check on her." She peeked out into the hallway and then just smiled when she saw Elsa reading contentedly right outside the door with Anikka sitting on her lap half-asleep. _If she wants to read sitting on the carpet in the hall, then fine._

"Idun, you fuss over that girl too much. She has a job to do; she can't just let herself revert back to a scared little eight-year-old. Elsa is twenty-one, not five like that little orphan she cares about so much. And she can't control her emotions well, so she needs to rely on her logic more. You fussing over her is not going to help her do that," Agdar said flatly.

Idun narrowed her eyes. "You don't even like hugs; you don't understand why Elsa genuinely _needs_ them. She didn't get any for thirteen years because of us! I want to help her get better. Agdar, inside she _is_ a little girl. Elsa doesn't have anything to help her experience, deal with, and control emotions like a normal twenty-one-year-old would. She's still eight inside, and you are going to have to accept that."

"Eight-year-olds are not young queens with strange supernatural powers that let them take over a duchy when it tries to invade," Agdar spat. "You _want_ Elsa to be a little girl; you want to replace all those years when we should have loved and cared for her. Well, that's idiotic and illogical! It's impossible. Our daughter is twenty-one. Yes, she's traumatized; yes, she's hurt; yes, she handles emotions like a child would; but the rest of her is _grown up_. We can't let her literally be a child; we have to try to heal the way she deals with emotions. She will never know how unless we force her to try to do so."

"You want to _force_ Elsa to deal with her emotions like a grown-up?! Agdar, she _can't._ She doesn't know how. I can't believe you want to force our poor daughter to just suddenly…I don't know. But Agdar, Elsa needs love and care. She's still hurting, and she needs help. The other night I saw her terrified, crying and shaking, begging for her own sister not to hurt her and asking if she was going to get rid of her. Elsa had literally fallen out of bed and she-"

"Idun, do you hear what you're saying?!" Agdar interrupted. "Elsa acting like that is _not_ ok. She can't live like that! She does need help-help knowing how to logically deal with her emotions. I don't mean concealing and not feeling; I mean being able to get upset and not completely freaking out and getting irrational. Someone needs to help her be logical like she used to be. Not me, not you, and probably not Anna. She trusts Gerda, so she will have to work with her." Agdar made a face that said he had made his decision. _That's exactly what it is. Elsa is going to have…emotional therapy, if there is such a thing, with Gerda. So there. She needs help, and I think that will do it._

* * *

Elsa gave Anikka a kiss right on top of her head as she hugged the little girl close. "Thank you," she whispered. _For making me actually feel…wanted and needed. You don't have to want to be around me at all, and you actually looked for me and you took care of me in the troll valley even though you're only five._

"Elsa welcome," the little girl murmured sleepily. She suddenly stared directly at Elsa and asked clearly, "D'you miss Jade?" While Anikka was only five and so didn't quite understand either Elsa's or Jade's logic from what she had overheard said; she did know that Elsa had tried to save Jade for some reason, but that was it.

"I wanted to help her, but…but I wasn't good enough. I _tried_ …" Elsa's sad voice trailed off, and she wished Anikka wouldn't ask her about such things anymore.

"Elsa plenty good enough. I not think whole comp'icated thing is Elsa's fault. Jade's fault. Not Elsa's. Elsa always try t' be perfect…nobody perfect. Elsa pick on Elsa too much an' not 'nough on others." Anikka thought for a moment before adding, "Maybe Elsa feel better if E-she like Elsa better. Some-time I think it Anikka's fault Timothy gone. Elsa make Anikka know that is not right. I still miss Timothy anyway. But you help." Anikka snuggled closer to the older girl, feeling perfectly safe in Elsa's arms. "Nobody else help Anikka like you do. Elsa make Ani- _me_ have mommy again."

 _Anikka, you know a lot for a five-year-old. And…Anikka says I help her?! How is that possible? I know she's telling the truth, though. Anikka wouldn't lie to me; she doesn't know how to._

 _That means someone genuinely needs me. A little girl needs_ me, _even though I'm still…messed up and hurt inside. Anikka knows I have really bad personal problems, I know she does; and she still thinks I take care of her. I can't send Anikka away. She deserves to stay here. I may not know how to take care of her, but I can try._ Elsa smiled as she continued scanning the book. There were so many things that she had never heard of in her life before. A long list of all the possible types of magical powers confused her-if all these abilities existed, then where were the individuals who possessed them? Were they all dead? Were she and Rapunzel the only two natural mages alive? No, that couldn't be the case. She just didn't know of any others. Elsa flipped to the table of contents, looking for the section on healing magic like her cousin's. _I don't really want to read anything about mine...wait a second, there's no section on healing magic? That's weird. There has to be._ "Wait a second…light. Rapunzel's magic is from the sun, a magic golden flower or something. I remember her telling me that," she said to herself. _Light magic. I have to look up light magic._

Elsa eagerly flipped to the 'photokinesis: light magic' category, curious as to what it would say. _'Encompassing many different –kinesis powers, most light magic users will not be able to accomplish all of these abilities, whether they are natural mages or not,'_ Elsa read. Elsa's blue eyes grew big as she speed-read. So many different things it made her head swim. The thing that fascinated her the most was the idea that someone with light magic potentially could be able to move at the speed of light. Wouldn't that cause time to pass differently for that someone? That was time dilation, right? If someone could move at the speed of light, did that mean that it was possible to break away from Earth's gravity under one's own power and go hurtling into space? Did moving at the speed of light turn the magic user into light itself so that he or she was immune to being in space with no air to breathe?

 _'Traveling at light speed is unattainable for all light magic users since the self-named Enelysios used her magic to reach superluminal speeds, acquire energy from matter from another universe through the fifth and sixth dimensions, and-'_ Elsa just blinked. _I thought there were only THREE dimensions…possibly a fourth-time itself-but that's it! What's a fifth and sixth dimension?!_

Elsa decided to just continue reading; even if she didn't understand everything, it was still awfully interesting to her. ' _-and travel back in time before returning to her own. Her own time probably has not been reached yet in your perspective if you are reading this. Relativity, dear reader.'_ Elsa giggled at that. Okay, so this was insanely confusing. Who cared? She nearly dropped the book at the next sentence. _'She caused a quantum experiment with a cat to go wrong and havoc was wreaked throughout the dimensions of the multiverse. The dragons were wiped out.'_ "What's a quantum experiment?" Elsa asked aloud. She could deduce what 'multiverse' meant-multiple universes with the mysterious extra dimensions she didn't understand-but she most definitely did not know what a quantum experiment was.

She decided to go back and find the section on _her_ kind of magic. Maybe there would be another crazy science fiction-esque story to go with it. _'Ice magic, also called cryokinesis, is a beautiful and powerful, albeit dangerous ability. Relying on the emotions of the magic wielder, those with a pure heart will be the most successful with it. Any natural ice mage has the capability to become a master, although none ever have.'_ Elsa figuratively froze as she read the next sentence aloud. " 'Elsa Ingrid Nicoletta Grieg will be the first.' That's me," she whispered. "That's _me_."

 _'She will encounter much difficulty doing so, but she will succeed and she will heal both inside and out. This girl may be scarred permanently, but she is pure of heart and therefore will be successful.'_

* * *

Elsa abruptly pushed the book aside, and then just reached for it again a second later, her mind spinning. Why was she in the book? The trolls had put _her_ in the book? Did the trolls even write the book? For all she knew, it wrote itself. She wouldn't be surprised by anything after reading the gibberish about superluminal speeds and alternate dimensions and whatever else. _Elsa, you aren't a broken, defective little girl. It's right there in print. You will succeed. It says so. Being an ice master isn't going to make you lose control. If you're a master, you'll be able to prevent your powers from manifesting when your emotions get out of control!_

 _I'm an idiot. Of course. An ice master's emotions very well could get out of control, but her magic would not. She would be able to get upset and not freeze her kingdom. She might leak snowflakes or ice the floor, but that would be it. My powers are tied to my emotions, yes, but that doesn't mean I have to completely lose control every time I feel a strong emotion. It means my powers will never cooperate exactly like I would like them to when I'm hurt or sad or scared, but I don't have to be worried I'll hurt someone._

 _That just means you'll always be messed up and not normal no matter what you do,_ a nasty little voice told her. _Just like your leg. You think magic is going to fix it, idiot?_

"As a matter of fact, I do," Elsa spat out aloud. "And even if it didn't, my leg does _not_ mean I'm messed up or abnormal! It means I'm…special," she heard herself say, to her own surprise. "Just like I am." _It's a physical reminder that I kept Anna from getting hurt, too. It doesn't matter if it never gets any better at all. It's just part of me._

Suddenly Elsa felt happier than she had in ages. She knew she was probably going to cry and feel scared and hurt again eventually, but that was not now and she was not going to let that possibility bother her right this second, either.

She was the Snow Queen, and the Snow Queen was going to be an ice master.

Or else she would at least try.

 **A/N: Next chapter coming soon!**

 **A special thanks to WarriorQueen 14 for the idea to add details to make it clearer on Elsa's logic vs. her emotions in this chapter. :)**

 **P.S. I will be posting a Christmas one-shot about little Elsa and Anna within the next couple days.:)**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **raven678-I'm glad you liked it!:) Yes, Elsa's getting better...she just needs some time (and lots of hugs) :)**

 **the green baron-I'm glad you like Anikka.:) Anikka trusts Elsa implicitly, so she just sees Elsa as being perfectly fine...she knows Elsa needs help, but she doesn't see anything wrong with that.:)**

 **readeronly76-I figured Agdar and Idun would have VERY different opinions on how to take care of Elsa, even though at this point they're both genuinely trying to help.:P Don't get too excited-it'll take Elsa a long time to really become an ice master.:) After this chapter, I believe there will be three more? I'm not 100% sure and I don't want to tell you wrong.:P I know what I'm writing, but I don't know how many words it'll turn out to be.:P Regarding the Frozen/Hunger Games crossover...I honestly don't know. I hate writing from first person, and that story NEEDS to be written that way. All I can say is that I intend to finish it eventually.:P (What I should do is write a couple one-shots from Katniss's and Elsa's POVs in their own worlds so I can practice writing in first person...hmm...)**

 **Elsa Tomago-And I PMed you, so I won't make you reread the same thing here.:)**

 **Awesomewolf-You're welcome!:P *coughcough*IstillsayElsa'sbirthdayisinJuly... But anyways, I know it's the winter solstice in official canon. XD But Elsa will always have a July birthday in my mind.:) Maybe! Wait and see.:) (It's going to take her a long time to become an ice master though...she's still too young and inexperienced.:P) Of course Elsa and Anna will get a happy ending.:)**

 **WarriorQueen 14-True. Probably all they know about emotions is just instinct, nothing more. (Which is why nobody can help Elsa very well...because no one else has a personality exactly like hers. To me, even little Elsa pre-accident is still not like Anna, and that's okay. She's never going to love parties and hanging around with tons of people and talking all the time, even if she's completely happy. It's just not...Elsa. She's an introvert in my opinion, and that has nothing to do with her still hurting inside.) Agreed. Elsa holds a lot of responsibility, and she canNOT rely on her emotions (which confuse her and go all over the place)...she HAS to rely on pure logic to be queen. She can't trust her emotions to react properly. Elsa should let her father help her with governing Arendelle, but she should _not_ let him help her with emotions or magic. Everything's a team effort in Elsa's world, I think.:) I feel like if you compare Agdar and Idun to Elsa, Agdar is actually the one who has more in common with her. Sad but true. :P (Agdar strikes me as not particularly extroverted, even though he's not as much of an introvert as Elsa is.) Idun is probably really more like Anna. Yes, those were references to both Schrödinger's cat and How to Train Your Dragon. (Yes, I know they're from different companies entirely, but I like to think the HTTYD world is really Arendelle's long, long, long ago predecessor. So Berk IS Arendelle...just hundreds and hundreds of years earlier.:P Yes, you are now allowed to say that's ridiculously stupid.:)) I thought Elsa needed a eureka moment.:) She's been hurting long enough. No, she won't get better immediately, but that was still a big thing for her.:) I like your long reviews, though.:)**

 **On to the story!:)**

"Kiara…I want Elsa," Anikka whimpered late that night for the fourth time. "Arm hurt. Elsa make it better."

Kiara sighed, resisting the urge to put a pillow over her head and just ignore the five-year-old. She and Anikka were sleeping in the guest room Elsa had appropriated months ago to be Kiara's room for as long as she wanted to stay in the castle. "Anikka, Snow Queen Elsa can't make it not hurt anymore. She isn't Rapunzel. And she's sleeping, like we're supposed to be doing," Kiara told her.

"Elsa put ice on it. An' can't sleep…hurts too much," Anikka said, protectively holding her arm with her other hand.

"You wouldn't even be able to feel the ice, Anikka. The doctor put plaster on your arm and you aren't supposed to get it wet." Kiara felt a little bad for Anikka, but there was nothing she could do, and she was quite certain that Anikka was too little to be given any more pain medicine. But she still wanted to just sleep in peace.

"Elsa's ice not melt if Elsa not want it to." Anikka looked rather pleased with herself for pointing that out.

Kiara thought for a moment before replying. "If I take you to Elsa, will you promise not to bug her? She isn't even really supposed to be using her magic right now. I know you don't want her to collapse again." _Snow Queen Elsa would prob'ly be able to get Anikka to fall asleep; I know she could. Rapunzel's in the guest room next to mine now since someone moved her, I'm not sure who. Anna is sleeping in her own room…there'll be plenty of room for Anikka in Elsa's room._

"Anikka…no, _I_ promise I not bug Elsa."

* * *

"Elsa make arm not hurt anymore?" Anikka asked hopefully the second Kiara had left her in Elsa's room.

Elsa slowly sat up in bed and just pulled the little girl onto her lap and hugged her tightly, not minding that Kiara and Anikka had woken her up. _Anikka shouldn't have ended up with a broken arm. It isn't fair…she was trying to protect me. I should have been able to protect_ her. "I can't make it not hurt anymore, but I can help you think about something else besides the 'owies' so you can fall asleep," Elsa said gently. She frowned when she felt Anikka stroking her loose platinum hair.

"Elsa's hair pretty. Should keep down sometimes," Anikka announced with certainty.

 _Why does Anikka think my hair is pretty? Nobody has hair like mine…it's just weird. And automatically makes me stick out like a sore thumb._ Elsa still didn't like her hair very much; it was just there to her. She definitely didn't understand Anikka's fascination with it or why Anna thought it was pretty and 'exotic'. "Do you mind if I turn the lamp out now?" Elsa asked finally.

Anikka clung to Elsa as tightly as she could, but she nodded. "I and Elsa safe here. Dark not matter."

"That's right, Anikka. We're safe here," Elsa said quietly. _That's really true. I_ am _safe here. I'm not going to end up scared and hurt in that cave again._ She subconsciously reached to touch her brace, making sure she still had it; but she did not cry or otherwise lose control or freak out. Elsa finally just lay back down on her side, keeping one arm protectively held around Anikka. "Thank you, Anikka," she whispered.

Anikka smiled and snuggled closer to Elsa. Somehow just plain knowing Elsa wasn't sad or scared made Anikka's arm feel better. She had, after all, kept the older girl from getting hurt. _It not so bad now. I think Elsa fixed it._

* * *

Anikka jerked awake shivering hours later. It was still dark, and it took the little girl a moment to realize just why she had woken up. "Elsa?" she asked worriedly. "Elsa need to wake up," she added, trying to shake the older girl awake.

"…not my fault! …please, it _hurts…_ leave her alone…please…don't hurt Anikka…me instead…" Elsa's hurt and terrified voice made Anikka herself frightened. She knew enough to know Elsa was having a bad dream, but what was she supposed to do? Give Elsa a hug? Wake her up? Turn the light on? Anikka carefully slid out of bed and nearly fell on the slippery ice there, but she managed to get to the kerosene lamp on the nightstand and turn it on. Then she just shook Elsa as hard as she could with her good arm and started talking to her. "Elsa, wake up! Elsa safe in castle. Wake up. Bad dream not real," she said firmly.

Elsa finally woke up and bolted upright in bed, shaking and breathing hard. _What happened?! What's going on…I…I couldn't help Anikka…Jade made Anna hurt her and then I tried to take her place and-_ Elsa's racing thoughts abruptly ceased as her eyes locked on Anikka, even through her tears. "Anikka is fine. I am fine. Anna isn't poisoned anymore," she muttered to herself, wrapping her arms around her middle.

Anikka scrambled back on the bed, despite the crackling frost and ice on the comforter, and just hugged Elsa tightly. "It all right, Elsa." She yelped in surprise as Elsa gently but firmly pushed her away.

"I don't…want…t-to hurt you," Elsa whispered. Anikka was so little…she was the same age Anna had been when the original accident had happened. Elsa actually wanted Anikka's hug very much, but she refused to risk hurting the little girl. _Calm down, Elsa. Don't hurt Anikka. You cannot make a mistake right now. Anikka is only five, and she's hurt because she was protecting you. Don't you dare hurt her, even by accident. Calm down. You're being illogical again._

 _I'm scared._

 _Okay. Be scared. Still don't hurt Anikka._ Elsa wasn't shaking anymore, but she curled up on her side, keeping her hands clasped together close against her chest. "Go away, Anikka," she managed to say. "Not…not s-safe…"

"Won't 'go away'. Won't touch you, neither. Not 'til Elsa say it ok." Anikka knew Elsa was scared of being touched at the moment, so she just scooted over to the other side of the bed away from the older girl, but she did not leave. "Anikka trust Elsa to not hurt her," she added.

Elsa kept her eyes screwed tightly shut and didn't move. _You shouldn't trust me, Anikka. I hurt Anna when she was the same age you are…_ "Why?" she asked finally, not even particularly expecting a response. _You just asked a five-year-old that, Elsa. Just be quiet, will you?_

"Elsa Ani- _my_ friend. Elsa maybe diff'rent on outside. But inside same." Anikka struggled to explain what she knew for certain deep inside-that Elsa might be different from others on the outside, but inside she was just a human girl, just like her. "Elsa not only one that get bad dream," she added after a moment. "It all right. That happen t' ev'ryone some-time."

 _Why is Anikka trying to make me feel better? I should be the one doing that for her, not the other way around. She's_ five. _I'm twenty-one; I'm supposed to be a grownup. I don't feel like a grownup, though…I do still feel like a little girl._ Elsa finally felt herself beginning to calm down properly, but she still felt awful for sticking little Anikka in a position to have to try to help her. She slowly turned over and gave Anikka a lopsided smile, dried tears still streaking her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Anikka," she said softly.

"I _said_ , Elsa not only one that get bad dream," Anikka repeated. "Elsa not need t' say she sorry." She hesitantly moved closer to Elsa, watching the older girl's expression carefully to make sure she wasn't scaring her. Elsa didn't flinch or move away or otherwise seem to be scared anymore, so Anikka asked, "Is ok t' hug you now?"

Elsa nodded, but her blue eyes immediately began filling with tears as she felt the little girl hugging her tightly. _Elsa, stop crying. You'll make Anikka feel bad because she's trying to help you and you're still upset. Anikka saw most of the same things you did in that cave, and she isn't all upset about it._ Why did Anikka even try to bother with her? She wasn't just 'maybe 'diff'rent on outside'; the inside of her was messed up. Part of her wished she could escape her mind sometimes; the part of her that kept saying 'you're messed up', 'you ruin things', 'you're worthless', and other things like that. _That's not right. It's illogical. Talking to oneself in his or her head_ is _normal. Maybe not as often as I do, but normal all the same. And Anikka needs me. She said so. I don't understand why, but it doesn't matter. And even Papa said he loved me just like I am. I have to be more logical and make him happy with me._ Elsa finally relaxed entirely, remembering something Gerda-and Anna, for that matter-had told her multiple times.

If she was talking about someone else who was just like her, inside and out; would she think and say the same things about that person that she thought about herself?

 _No, I wouldn't. Nobody has ice powers like mine, but the other things? If I knew another girl that had nightmares or flashbacks or panic attacks, I'd just think she needed some help because she'd been through some awful event or something. I wouldn't think bad of her one bit. And if I saw someone wearing a brace like mine on their leg, I'd be curious as to what happened, but I wouldn't even think anything of it past that._ Elsa sighed and finally hugged Anikka back. "Thank you, Anikka, for making me feel better."

* * *

When Gerda brought Elsa her breakfast the next morning, Elsa was already awake and sitting up, holding a sleeping Anikka tightly in her arms. Elsa wasn't crying, but she had her eyes closed and she looked tense. "Miss Elsa, I brought you some breakfast," Gerda said quietly, carefully sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Elsa. "Is there something you need to talk about?"

Elsa shook her head and slowly opened her eyes. "I don't like talking about…feelings even when I know…I should," she whispered. _Why did you say that, Elsa? Gerda already knows that about you. She's just trying to help._

"You had a nightmare last night," Gerda said matter-of-factly, knowing that was the case even though she hadn't seen Elsa have one. "You had Anikka in here with you, and you feel bad because she saw it." She paused for a moment before adding, "Miss Elsa, I seem to remember a certain someone engraving a message on her necklace. A message that told her love would set her free. Something about no fear and love equaling freedom, hmm?"

"I c-can't…make…the fear go…away," Elsa whispered after a short silence. "I want to, but it's…stuck. Like my leg when I can't make it move." _That sounded ridiculous. Why did I say that? I don't know…probably because it's, you know…true._ Elsa gently laid Anikka back down under the covers, being mindful of the little girl's arm, and turned her complete attention to Gerda.

Gerda thought for a minute before coming up with an idea she hoped would help Elsa. "Miss Elsa, get that left leg of yours out from under the covers. I want you to see something," she said firmly. Elsa gave her a quizzical expression but did as she was told. "Brace off," Gerda added in a no-nonsense voice. _She probably shouldn't be sleeping in that thing anyway…_ When Elsa's expression began turning worried, Gerda quickly said, "You can hold it if that makes you feel safer, Miss Elsa. Just take it off."

Elsa complied and hesitated before consciously deciding to just leave her brace on the floor next to her bed. If something bad _did_ happen, she was sure Gerda would give it back if need be. _Besides, I'm being silly. Nothing is going to happen._ "Gerda…why…?" she asked, puzzled as to what was going on.

"Number one, Miss Elsa, you just consciously decided to drop it on the floor. You would not have done that if you didn't feel safe; I know you wouldn't. You would have refused to even take it off. That means you are better now. Number two, I just want you to try something," Gerda told her. "No, no, no, Miss Elsa, don't do that," she scolded as Elsa immediately started trying to reach for the covers again. "Don't worry, I'll not try to force you to do something I know you can't do. You are going to move those toes, or that foot, or something, I don't care what."

Elsa just looked away and said, "I don't think I can," in a very small voice.

"Yes, you can. That leg is weak and it doesn't move properly, true, but it isn't paralyzed," Gerda said gently. "It _will_ move, Miss Elsa. Probably not the way you want it to, but it will move. I've seen you do it before. Now do it."

Elsa bit her lip as she concentrated hard on trying to move her foot. _Come on, Elsa, you can do it. Gerda didn't tell you to try to stand on it, just to move it._ She managed to rather awkwardly point her foot and move it off to the side, but she couldn't flex it. "I…I _moved_ it, but it won't flex," Elsa said quietly. She abruptly jerked the covers back over her legs, not wanting to look at her limp foot anymore.

Gerda simply gave the young girl a hug, just holding her securely so she would feel safe. "That's fine, Miss Elsa. I told you that you could move it, and you just did. Is it all right to touch it? I need to show you something." When Elsa slowly nodded, Gerda told her to lie down and just relax. "You don't have to do a thing, Miss Elsa. Just relax. And if something hurts, you say so immediately."

"O…okay." Elsa still felt nervous, but she trusted Gerda and so she did as she was asked. She felt Gerda gently manipulating her bad leg, moving it about, and then an unexpected pain shot up her leg and she instinctively cried out, wondering what was going on. "Wh-what happened?" Elsa whispered. _Gerda wasn't even doing anything…what happened? That shouldn't have hurt!_

"You're fine, Miss Elsa, it's all right," Gerda said quickly, helping Elsa sit back up and then just pulling her close. She didn't even react when Elsa hid her face in her shoulder; she simply held the girl and let her calm herself down. _Elsa needs to learn to calm down on her own without someone talking to her. She can do it; I know she can._ Gerda had privately decided without saying a word to anyone that she was going to help Elsa both on the inside and the outside. She knew Elsa's parents really did love her, but they had also most likely written her off in their minds as being permanently hurt, especially on the inside. Elsa didn't need that; she needed someone to both love her just like she was _and_ help her get better, without making her feel bad about it. _Agdar told me he wanted me to 'fix the way Elsa deals with emotions, if at all possible' because she hasn't been acting logical like she usually does. I think she just needs some time, along with the help._

After a few moments had passed, Elsa felt much, much better, and she pulled away as she glanced curiously at Gerda. _Thank you for helping me._ "Why did my leg start hurting like that?" she asked. "I _know_ that shouldn't have happened. And why did you do that in the first place?"

"It was just your foot and ankle, Miss Elsa. They don't like moving that way anymore because you haven't done it in so long. Even when you take your brace off and sit curled up in a chair, you're just using your knee joint to do that. Your ankle is all stiff, that's all," Gerda expained. "And I did that because I wanted you to see something. Miss Elsa, you may not be able to move that leg very well on your own-although you _can_ do so all the same. But if someone helps you, then you can. You said you felt like the fear was 'stuck' and you couldn't get rid of it. Well, you just calmed yourself down without me saying a word. And those negative feelings _will_ go away if you let someone help you. You just need help."

 _I don't like needing help. And I'm sick of…me. I don't even understand why anyone is willing to bother with me. I'm grateful for Gerda taking care of me, but…I'm just…I'm not…I'm not worth it. I just…_ Elsa's mind flitted back to the way she had felt before choosing to come back. She didn't hurt anymore there. She was just plain Elsa; she was special; she wasn't messed up anymore. "If…if the whole Jade thing was what I was s-supposed to help save Arendelle from, can…can I go back to that happy place?" she whispered plaintively. "With Anna this time?" _No, you can't, Elsa. You can't just change your mind; you_ chose _to come back. You knew this would happen. You have to be logical, and that is most definitely not._ Elsa hid her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she cried silently. She didn't want anything but just to make all the hurt inside her go away. _I didn't break down this bad locked in my room. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just…let it go?_

 _I want to go to my ice palace. I feel…free there. On top of the world._

 _Elsa, remember Anikka. She thinks she needs you. So you had better just remember that. And you're supposed to become an ice master eventually._

Gerda knew Elsa hadn't realized she had spoken those words aloud, but she answered anyway. "Miss Elsa, look around you," Gerda said gently. "Nothing but a few snowflakes. The Elsa locked in her room would have completely lost control, and you haven't done any such thing. There is _nothing_ wrong with you. You've been put through a lot of bad things recently and you are stressed, which is making it harder to not let emotions take over. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less. You are special right here on this earth, Miss Elsa. I see a sweet, intelligent girl who just needs and deserves to be loved and cared for _just like she is._ "

"But…but I-"

"But nothing," Gerda interrupted firmly. "Queen Elsa, stop being ridiculous this instant. Just think for a moment here. From an outside perspective, if you were someone else…what would you think of Elsa Ingrid Nicoletta Grieg? How would you treat her or think she should be treated?"

Elsa's big blue eyes filled with tears as she slowly stuttered out her reply. "A…broken and traumatized l-little girl…but…but I'd still want t-to…love and take c-care of her." She subconsciously wrapped her arms around her middle hugging herself as she kept her gaze glued to her lap. "I…I'd ask her if she wanted a hug and if she s-said yes I would just…just _hold_ her…t-tell her she was perfect just l-like she was. Like A-Anna usually does f-for m-" Elsa's voice finally gave out completely, and she seemed to completely crumple as Gerda gently picked her up and just held her close. _And if I knew her well, I'd tell her she's being illogical a lot and that she needs to fix it. And that she's not really broken; she just feels like she is._

"Shh, Miss Elsa, it's all right. Everything's all right," Gerda said softly. "It's fine to let those tears out. No one's going to see but me." She didn't notice Anna in the doorway.

"I…I want…Anna…please?"

* * *

Anna had reached the doorway a few seconds earlier, just in time to hear Elsa's sad words. _Oh Elsa, what's happened to you? Where did my confident big sister go?_ Anna knew Elsa had been hurting, but she sounded so sad. Too sad…not the everyday something-bad-happened-and-I-feel-bad sad; the sad that Anna thought meant her big sister was probably permanently damaged emotionally. _No, she's not. She can't be. She's_ Elsa. _And Elsa's stronger than that. She's my sweet big sister._

 _But…she's still human. And I hurt her, and for whatever reason, Elsa can't deal with that like she can other things. And yet…I_ know _I can help her. I don't know exactly how, but I know I can. She's going to be fine. Besides, Elsa's already getting better. Maybe she just needs time._ Anna had been staring intently at the floor, but her head jerked up as she heard Elsa's plaintive request that she wanted her little sister. She hesitated for all of two seconds before making her way over to Elsa. While Anna didn't understand why Elsa wanted her there, she could at least give Elsa what she wanted.

Elsa immediately reached for her brace and strapped it back on her weak leg when she spotted Anna and stood up and just hugged her baby sister as tightly as she could. "You came, Anna," she whispered. "And I'm sorry for…for not being a good sister to you and thank you for real-you still caring about me." _Real-Anna caring about you is enough, Elsa. You know it is. Calm down. That knowledge was all you had in REALITY-reality, Elsa, not horrid things that could have happened-and you were fine because Anna fixed you. You are fine. Stop acting so stupid and paranoid by worrying about scenarios that aren't even real._

 _Give me a chance. I'm_ going to _be fine. Just give me some time._ Elsa pulled away from Anna and quickly helped her sit down on the bed without hurting her leg further. "Anna, I can't promise I won't start acting so ridiculous if I get upset again, but…I'm going to try," Elsa said hesitantly. _Elsa, tell your sister how you feel. She probably wants you to anyway._ "I…I'm not good at dealing with…you hurting me even though I _know_ it wasn't really you. It…" she sighed and closed her eyes, not wanting to talk about the whole thing anymore, but she had decided in her mind that she was going to finish what she was intending to say. "It scared me. A lot," Elsa finally added clearly. "And I feel stupid for it because if one of us should be scared of the other, you should be scared of me because real-me really hurt you."

"I don't agree in the slightest, sis," Anna replied quietly. _I know that whole thing wasn't my fault, that it was Jade's, but I still feel bad about it. Elsa's still hurt…those horrid burns and her shoulder are all better, but her poor heart isn't._ She reached for Elsa's hand and gently unclasped her clenched fist and gave her sister's cold hand a reassuring squeeze. "See, Elsa, look. No ice. I will never, ever be scared of you. Scared _for_ you, yes. I hate, hate, _hate_ seeing you hurt or frightened, especially when I don't know how to help. Elsa, it's _all right_ to be scared sometimes. That doesn't make you stupid. It's part of what makes you a normal girl with emotions and feelings and problems just like anyone else." She pulled Elsa close and just hugged her tightly. "Those bad things are over, Elsa. We're safe at home and we _will_ get you better." Anna had been expecting her sister to break down in tears and just cry and start shaking like she had done so many times before, but Anna was only too happy to see Elsa's reaction.

Elsa began ever so slowly to relax. She did not cry. Not this time. She had spotted the still-sleeping Linnae in the corner and remembered the ice dragon's personality. A personality similar to Elsa's own, only Linnae wasn't emotionally hurt. Elsa had _created_ Linnae…didn't that mean that those confident unbroken emotions were still somewhere inside Elsa? They had to come from somewhere. ' _It makes you a normal girl…'_ Who knew that the one negative emotion Elsa detested the most was part of what made her a…normal girl? Anna had outright called her normal and that it was partly _because_ she could be scared? Elsa had spent her whole life wishing that she couldn't be scared because it sent her 'abnormality' out of control. Being scared made her 'normal' in of itself? Elsa suddenly realized that she hadn't had any little magic accidents at all when she'd tried to explain her feelings to Anna just now. And just like that, Elsa felt those nasty feelings melt away…perhaps not entirely, but they were much, much weaker, almost so she could barely even notice them. _I'm safe. And I'm not sad or scared. Thank you, Anna. I love you._

She could literally feel her magic settling inside her. Something physically coursed through her heart, and Elsa pressed one hand to her chest, a bit confused as to what was going on. If someone had asked her, she would have simply said, "My heart feels happy, blue, and calm. The ice is happy," which she subconsciously said aloud anyway, no questions asked.

Anna giggled at that, delighted that Elsa seemed _much_ better all of a sudden. She knew Elsa had to be feeling at least close to like she should if she said her ice was happy. Elsa's ice was never 'happy' unless its owner was as well. Anna knew quite well that just because Elsa didn't make a mistake with her magic did not mean that she was happy. That just meant Elsa had gained a lot of control over her powers and didn't let them control her instead. "You're funny, Elsa. I love you," she announced. "I'm glad you feel better now."

Elsa's 'signature' lopsided smile immediately told both Gerda and Anna that she was at ease, at least for now, as she stood up and limped over to her wardrobe. "Thank you," she said softly. That was all she needed to say; her expression already said enough.

 **A/N: Well, at least Elsa's happy at the moment. :) I wanted to make it clear that she and her magic are connected...one can't be truly 'happy' without the other.**

 **Next chapter coming soon!**

 **Merry Christmas, everyone. :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing. :)**

 **Samantha/Dislike Drama-Anikka doesn't hate Anna. I'm sorry if you don't like the sister drama/disagreements/etc, but I don't find it realistic for Elsa and Anna to get along 100% of the time. They can't; they're human girls. Sisters argue sometimes and that's that. :P**

 **raven678-Glad you liked it!:) I think mostly Elsa just needs a bit of time.:) Merry Christmas!**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:) Merry Christmas!**

 **readeronly76-Thank you:) I like it when Anikka helps Elsa feel better too...even though I'm the one that wrote it.:P Anyways...:) Yes, Elsa's leg _will_ get better, at least partly.:) Merry Christmas!**

 **bananas-rule-2015-Thank you!:)**

 **Dragonheart35-I still think Elsa would make a perfect mother...:) And Anikka may be only 5, but she helps Elsa, too. I'm glad you like the two of them helping each other.:) Merry Christmas!**

 **Mandy-That's okay!:) Part of the magic information is from the 'superpower wikipedia' thing, but the wording and stuff is just my imagination.:P Agdar isn't very good at helping Elsa, but he IS genuinely trying now, which is good.:P And of course there's Anna, who's always there for her family (except when she's been poisoned with fire magic, but still). :) And yes, Elsa's leg is getting a little bit better. She just needs to figure out exactly how her magic can heal it before Gerda can really help her much more.:) Don't forget, as long as it's not totally unexpected, Elsa can deal with physical pain pretty easily. That isn't going to make her upset like things hurting her inside emotionally would. Elsa will be fine.:) Elsa will visit the ice palace soon. I promise.:) (Like, within the next couple chapters soon.:)) You're welcome! Merry Christmas!:)**

 **Gold17-Thank you!:) I thought Elsa needed someone that she can actually _see_ needs her since she still thinks Anna doesn't really actually need her. Anikka obviously needs someone to take care of her, and even Elsa (who's pretty silly about such things a lot of the time) can see that.:) I'm glad you like Elsa's middle and last names. I thought they sounded nice together and very Elsa-y.:) The thing is, Elsa was telling the literal truth...her ice _was_ happy with her right then.:) But yes, Elsa can be really funny sometimes.:P**

 **Elsa Tomago-Yep!:) That was the point-to let Elsa spend time with three of the most important people to her.:) I thought all of them deserved some happy fluff.:)**

 **On to the story!:) [Sorry for the wait...:/]**

"No, Anikka, not this time," Elsa repeated for the third time that afternoon. "You can come have a ride on Linnae after Rapunzel heals your arm, not one second before." Elsa had woken Linnae up-Linnae was slightly peeved that Elsa had left her asleep for so long, although she'd quickly forgiven Elsa once the girl had told her why-and decided she wanted to go fly right this second…to feel free in the sky. "Thank you for understanding, Linnae," Elsa said softly. While Elsa's magic felt almost back to normal to her, her family had fussed and worried so much that she'd promised she wouldn't go flying with her air currents by herself for a few more days.

 _You are welcome, Elsa. Please do not leave me asleep for so long again, though. I dreamed you did not want me anymore._ Linnae's icy eyes blinked at Elsa sadly, although she gently nuzzled the girl's shoulder a moment later. _Elsa, I am not unbreakable. You made me only to protect the people you care about and yourself. Leaving me asleep makes me feel useless._

Elsa visibly flinched at that, and she quickly gestured for Gerda to take Anikka out of the room and leave her alone. The second they were gone, Elsa simply wrapped her arms around the ice dragon's neck and hugged her tightly. "I didn't know, Linnae," she whispered. "I…I've never made something like you before with my magic. I promise I will never leave you asleep for so long again. I didn't even know at first that you needed my permission to wake up." _Linnae isn't hurt like…like me, is she? She's supposed to be confident in herself, not feel…useless._ "Please don't be hurt. Please," Elsa begged. "You're supposed to represent whatever bits of me still have self-confidence and don't…hurt…"

 _I am fine, Elsa. It takes more than one small incident to emotionally damage someone. Ice dragons included! I just thought you needed to know so it would not happen again. I cannot protect you when I am asleep._ Linnae lay down contentedly, watching Elsa and waiting for her response.

"Am I…damaged?" Elsa asked, wondering very much what Linnae's response would be.

Linnae seemed to hesitate before slowly shaking her head; then stopping and nodding vigorously. _You were abused too long not to be. But you are still you, Elsa, and that means it does not matter. You should learn to truly…what is the word? Love, I think?...the real you, flaws and all. Elsa, the love definition you gave me says it is putting needs and desires of other people before yours. Also love cancels fear, evidently. You also said some people are worth dying for, and that love is sacrifice. Where is the rest of the meaning of the word 'love'? No accepting of self? Are you not supposed to accept yourself just as you are and love just plain Elsa, too?_

"I _did_ accept my magic," Elsa replied, sounding confused. "I can control it…well, most of the time…and I don't hate it. It's just part of me…I mean, I still feel like I'm…abnormal sometimes, but I know that isn't right." _What does Linnae mean? I don't understand…_

Linnae nudged Elsa until she went over to her mirror. _Not your magic, Elsa. What about this, hmm?_ Linnae snuffled at Elsa's braced leg and then looked back up at her quizzically. _You do not_ resent _not being able to walk very well, but you have not accepted it. You think it makes you less of a person, even though I know that you would not think any such thing about someone else with a weak leg. Also you think that feeling emotionally hurt makes you 'messed up'. Elsa, that is wrong. You don't love yourself at all; you think Elsa is not worth anything. I do not know how to explain how to fix that mindset because you did not give that information to me._

"I don't _have_ that information," Elsa said quietly. "Linnae, let's go now, okay? Flying makes me happy, or at the very least, makes me feel better."

* * *

Elsa laughed in delight a few minutes later as Linnae took her high in the sky out over the fjord. "Thank you so much, Linnae. This makes me feel…free," she said happily. Up here high in the air, Elsa felt as if everything that had been weighing her down recently faded away.

 _You should do this every day then, Elsa,_ Linnae informed her. _Where do you want to go?_

"The troll valley, please, Linnae." _I want to ask Grand Pabbie a few things about the magic book, and…and about just plain…me._ Elsa suddenly realized that she really, truly felt safe riding Linnae despite her braced leg, unlike when she rode her horse, Lorin. "Why do I feel safe hundreds of feet in the air, and not down on the ground where humans belong?" she asked, not even expecting an answer.

 _Elsa, you feel free here. I can tell. The sky does not judge anyone unfairly like a lot of people do. Why have you not visited your ice palace? You need to._ Linnae's 'speech' abruptly ended as she landed right in the middle of the Valley of the Living Rock.

Elsa awkwardly slid off Linnae's back, but she stayed next to her dragon, feeling safer near her created guardian. _I'm okay. I'm okay. Linnae can protect me if something goes wrong. She represents confident, undamaged me._ Linnae snuffled reassuringly at Elsa's shoulder, as if to tell her that yes, Elsa was safe here.

Pabbie appeared right in front of Elsa's feet, and she stumbled backwards with a surprised yelp. "Hello, Queen Elsa," the troll greeted her. "May I help you with something?"

 _Elsa, that troll doesn't want to hurt you. He may not be a hundred percent helpful, but he doesn't want to hurt you._ "I…I just have a…a few questions about the…the magic book. I promise I'll return it; I…I just…want to borrow it. If that's okay, of course," Elsa said hesitantly.

"Of course that is okay, Queen Elsa," Pabbie assured Elsa. "You may borrow it for as long as you need it. Only take care that only you and people you a hundred percent trust read any part of it. That knowledge is not meant for all humans to know. Just please return it when you are finished with it, and don't duplicate anything out of it. Now, what were your questions?"

"Are the things in that book ineradicable facts?" Elsa asked, biting her lip and feeling half-afraid of what the answer would be. _I mean, it has information about the future. Can those things change, or are they guaranteed to happen no matter what?_

"The information about magic and its rules are. The information about creatures or humans is not. Magic does not have free will in of itself. Humans and creatures do, humans more so. So that information is fact at that moment, but it could change at some point in the future. It tells the path true at that point in time. You found yourself in the book, didn't you?" Pabbie asked. Elsa merely nodded, and the old troll went on, "Perhaps you should give yourself some credit, Queen Elsa. Why would you think you could not be the first ice master?"

Elsa thought that question was completely ludicrous. "Why would you think I _could_ be, Grand Pabbie?" she whispered. "Even I know that I'd be much, much better with my magic if I hadn't been…k-kept…"

"Kept isolated in your room for thirteen years? You foolish, foolish girl, it has absolutely nothing to do with that. Look at the sentient creatures you've made. This one is so complicated and smart that she can be connected with the power crystal meant for organic dragons, which are now extinct. Does she talk to you in any way?" Pabbie tried to give Elsa a reassuring smile, but the girl still looked tense and nervous.

"Linnae talks to me somehow via her thoughts, and she understands everything I say, but she can't read my mind," Elsa replied. "Linnae, stop that. Yes, we're talking about you. Don't be so jumpy," she scolded when the ice dragon began sniffing at the trolls and breathing freezing cold air on them. Instantly Linnae was back by Elsa's side, although she looked slightly annoyed.

 _I do not like the trolls, Elsa. They are dumb and give cr-cryptic advice. They hurt little you and Anna for no reason. And they scare you now._ Linnae 'spoke' as if she were talking to Elsa, but she was staring at Grand Pabbie.

Elsa glanced from Linnae to Grand Pabbie in alarm. "Linnae, that was rude! Really, really rude! Say you're sorry!" Somehow Elsa sensed that the old troll had indeed been able to understand Linnae.

Thankfully Pabbie was unperturbed by the young girl's created guardian. "Yes, Queen Elsa, all humans or creatures with genuine natural magic not acquired after birth will be able to talk with your dragon. Your cousin Princess Rapunzel will also be able to talk with Linnae. You should be able to communicate with Linnae from any distance, Queen Elsa. She will not be able to read your thoughts, but you can, however, talk to her in your thoughts if you choose to do so consciously." Pabbie gently took Elsa's hands in his and looked her right in the face. "You've created a valuable friend, but take care you do not ever create life out of anger, Queen Elsa. A creature like that would be one to be feared."

Elsa's blue eyes went wide in fright, and she jerked her hands away from the troll's and just held them protectively close against her chest. _Elsa, calm down. Even if you did do that by accident, you could always dissolve it once you came to your senses, right?_ "Do I _have_ to be an ice master?" she whispered.

"Of course not. But I sense that you will be all the same, and that you will have an important job to do as such. Something involving events outside Arendelle's borders. Any more questions, Queen Elsa?"

"Why did y-you put someone like…m-me in your magic book? There are so few actual names in it, and…and one of them was…mine." Elsa's quiet voice just sounded utterly puzzled. She didn't understand why the trolls would even bother mentioning her.

"Neither I nor the rest of the trolls alive today wrote or made that book," Pabbie told her. "We are merely the caretakers of it. The two trolls that survived the flood made it, Queen Elsa. As a help to those who would come after them. Magic has always existed, but in the hands of evil people it can cause great harm. Sealing all of that information in one book helped keep that from happening again. Only someone with magic, acquired or natural, can open that book. If Jade read it, she was only able to open it because she had stolen power crystals." The old troll paused before adding, "You are in that book because of what's in here." Pabbie pointed at Elsa's heart. "The people mentioned in the book either cause great damage or great help. You cause help. If you begin to laze about and do nothing, your name will disappear from the book. But I am sure that will not happen."

Elsa frowned, considering everything Pabbie had just told her. "That flood…are you referring to the flood in Genesis? In the Bible?" _And of course I shan't laze about and do nothing. That's not me._

"You understand then," Pabbie said cryptically. "Go home, Queen Elsa. I must rest now."

"One last question? Please?" Elsa asked quickly. When Pabbie nodded, Elsa made her last question. "Will my leg _really_ get better?" she whispered, glancing down at her braced leg.

Pabbie's expression remained neutral as he replied, "I told your sister you would always have a weak leg, and my word remains." He noticed Elsa's thin shoulders slump and her hopeful expression disappear; and he quickly added, "That does _not_ mean your magic cannot heal it, Queen Elsa."

"I don't understand." Elsa thought she really genuinely did not understand Pabbie's words at all; it sounded like he had just said her leg was impossible to fix but that her magic could do so anyway. _You do too understand, Elsa. You figured that out from the magic book already. You can_ mostly _fix it._

"Of course you do. You do not want to," Pabbie said flatly. "Queen Elsa, even magic has limits as to what it can fix, and you know it." He waited until Elsa had said a quiet thank-you and turned to leave; then added, "Wait one moment."

Elsa turned back and looked at the tired troll quizzically. _What, Grand Pabbie? Did I miss something?_

"You will heal faster if you truly accept that there will still be permanent effects from that injury no matter what you do. You haven't done that yet. You still haven't really, truly accepted yourself, either." Then Pabbie abruptly turned back into a boulder.

 _Told you so, Elsa! That old troll says you have to accept yourself. Just like you are. Why do you not accept yourself anyway? You would accept someone else who was exactly like you. Dumb Elsa._ Linnae picked Elsa up with her wing and slid her onto her back. _I shall take you home now._

Elsa smiled as Linnae flew off. "Thank you, Linnae," she said softly.

* * *

The dragon spotted the pool where little Elsa and Anna had gone swimming as children, and she abruptly changed direction, thinking it would be both fun to visit the pond and good for Elsa to do so.

Elsa briefly wondered where Linnae was taking her, but she quickly figured it out when she spotted the pool. "You're taking me to the pool," she said, slightly puzzled. Elsa didn't try to get Linnae to redirect her course, though. _I wonder if I even_ can _swim with my bad leg…I hope so._ When Linnae landed smoothly on the ground right next to the pool, Elsa slid off the dragon's back a bit awkwardly and plopped down on a rock right at the pool's edge. "Linnae, if…if something bad happens…will y-you get me out?" she asked hesitantly, half referring to the possibility of not being able to swim by herself and half referring to someone bad somehow showing up.

Linnae nodded vigorously. _Of course. That is my job, Elsa._

Elsa smiled a bit as she took her brace off and slowly slid herself into the water. Although she hadn't brought a bathing suit, she was wearing an ice-dress and so she figured it didn't matter since it wouldn't get dirty or messed up anyways. Elsa yelped as her feet slid right out from under her, which made her land with a splash right into deeper water. It was still shallow enough that she could touch the bottom, and she briefly panicked when she couldn't steady herself. "I…I need help," she told Linnae reluctantly.

Linnae merely stretched one wing out to Elsa so she could have something to hold on to. _Try kicking while you are still holding on,_ the dragon suggested.

Elsa quickly realized that she could easily get herself to float, but her kicking was uneven at best. Sometimes her bad leg moved like it was supposed to with the water's help, but mostly it just got in the way since she couldn't control how her knee was moving. _I can still swim, though, I think._ On impulse, she let go of Linnae's wing and tried to swim by herself. "I can do it, Linnae!" Elsa said happily. She ducked underwater and paddled about before popping back to the surface and pushing her hair out of her eyes. "Thank you for bringing me here." _I feel much, much better now…I think I want to bring Anna up here sometime. And Anikka. Maybe we could teach her how to swim._

After a long while, Elsa grew tired of swimming and she asked Linnae to please help her get back out of the water. "Thank you, Linnae. I feel quite a bit better now," she told the dragon.

 _You are welcome, Elsa._ Linnae nodded and waited for Elsa to climb back up on her back. _Do you need help, Elsa? And you look like you got sunburned, I think. You look funny._

"I don't think so, and thanks a lot! Not," Elsa quipped. She scowled at her arms-Linnae was right; she had gotten badly sunburned already. Elsa's fair skin made her burn easily when she stayed in the sun too long; all the more so since she just plain didn't go out in the sun that often. Elsa still liked the sun's rays shining on her, but she hated the way her skin got sunburned so easily.

* * *

"You went swimming," Anna said a bit huffily when Elsa arrived back home later. "No fair…wait…" _Can Elsa even swim with her bad leg? What if she drowned or something?_ "Elsa, did you fall in water somewhere or did you purposely go swimming?" She eyed her sister's braced leg worriedly.

Elsa giggled, realizing what Anna was all upset about. "Anna, Linnae took me to that pool where we used to go swimming when we were little. I did not fall in, thank you very much. It turns out my leg slows me down, but I can still swim just fine," she explained. _And I got sunburned. Oh well. That's what I get for staying outside too long when I know I burn easily._

Anna frowned when she finally noticed that Elsa's fair skin was bright red all over, especially her face and shoulders. "Um, Elsa…just _how long_ were you gone? I don't know what time it is now, but it must have been a while. You look like you got a really bad sunburn…" _Although it probably wouldn't take much for Elsa to get sunburned since her skin is so light..._ "Come here, sis."

Elsa obliged, but instantly winced when Anna touched her shoulder. "Please don't touch it," she said quietly. "I'm still not sorry I went swimming, though."

"I think you had better get Gerda to put something on that before it gets any worse," Anna told her firmly. "You're almost hot to the touch. And it's all over you. You better make sure your dress kept you from getting burned anywhere else. I don't know if your ice-fabric protects you from the sun or not."

"I think my magic makes me doubly sensitive to end up sunburned," Elsa said ruefully.

"No, you're just really, really light," Anna corrected her. "People with light skin get sunburned easily whether they have powers or not. Elsa, will you please go ask Gerda to put something on it? It's going to really, really hurt tomorrow if you don't."

Elsa gave Anna a lopsided smile as she subconsciously held her hands protectively close to her chest. "Sunburn can't possibly hurt as much as those burns on my hands d-did," she tried to quip, but her voice cracked at the end.

Anna watched sadly as her big sister climbed on the bed and just scooted as close to her as possible, clutching Anna's arm tightly as she scrunched her eyes shut. _Why?! Why Elsa? Why can't my sister just get to be_ happy _for at least a while and not be…hurting inside?_ "Elsa…Elsa, it's all right. You're safe now," she said softly, trying to comfort the older girl.

"I know…just still…hurts. But y-you…you help." Elsa's voice sounded just plain tired, but she wasn't crying or shaking. "Anna…Anna, how long is it…going to take to just…you know… _fix_ me? I'm so tired of this…I just wanted t-to make a joke, and I…I just made myself upset..." _Don't you want a big sister that you don't have to take care of all the time? I mean, really, truly, honestly. If it was socially acceptable to trade your sibling in for a different one, wouldn't you want one that's not…me? Or if you didn't have a sibling and you had to pick one, wouldn't you pick one that isn't…like me?_

 _I'm the one that hurt you, you big idiot! And you say I_ help _._ Anna sighed and gently pulled Elsa to a sitting position and just hugged her close, trying to be careful of the sunburn all over her. "I don't know how long it's going to take to so-called 'fix you', you little stinker. That isn't even the right word, Elsa. You just need to heal. You're already a little better…you aren't trembling and shaking from thinking about that whole thing. You tried to make a joke about it, although I don't understand why."

 _I am shaking. Inside. And…_ "Anna, if it was socially acceptable to trade siblings for different ones, wouldn't you want to get rid of me?" Elsa blurted. _Why did I say that?! I didn't want to ask Anna that. Not one bit._

"No, of course not," Anna replied instantly. "Why would I want to do that?! I'd _know_ this new sibling I traded for wasn't mine. He or she would belong to some other family. And how would I know that you were safe after the fact? You need lots of TLC. So no. No way." _Where did Elsa come up with such a stupid ridiculous idea anyway?_

"What if y-you knew that I'd be safe and taken care of? Would you get…rid of m-me?" Elsa's big blue eyes reflected clearly the way she felt inside…embarrassed for asking her 'what if' questions, hurt, scared, and just sad. _I feel like a burden to Anna and everyone else around me. I'm always needing help…I hate needing help. I really, really hate it._ "Or if you didn't have a sibling and you got t-to pick one, wouldn't you pick one that wasn't…all hurting and m-messed up?" _Elsa, shut up. These questions are pointless and you sound stupid. This is not logical, either._

Anna's heart twisted as she saw tears start trickling down her sister's cheeks, and she bit her lip to keep from crying herself. "Elsa, no! No, no, no. I love you, Elsa, just like you are. Yes, I would rather have a happy, confident Elsa, but that's because I hate seeing you so hurt and scared." She paused for a moment before adding, "I wouldn't trade you for anything, Elsa. I wouldn't care even if you were permanently 'broken'; I'd still just love you and take care of you and try to make you feel better." Anna paused again as she thought about Elsa's last question. "You know, Elsa, your last scenario, the one that assumes I didn't know you beforehand or anything…I honestly think I _would_ still pick you anyways. I'd think you looked like you needed a friend. The only reason I'd pick somebody else is if I thought I saw someone who needed a friend even more than you did. And then I'd be wanting to get Mom and Dad to adopt TWO new siblings 'stead of one."

"Why?"

"You're telling me that if I were you, you wouldn't do the same?" Anna demanded, giving Elsa a smile despite her harsh tone of voice. "I mean, _exactly_ like you. Same likes, same dislikes, same fears, same triggers, same personality, same everything. Would you love and take care of me?"

Elsa instantly nodded. "Of course. I'd prob'ly feel like smacking her upside the head sometimes for being so stupid, but I'd love her all the same," she replied honestly.

"Remind me I owe you a smack upside the head when that sunburn is gone then," Anna teased.

Elsa's contented giggles made Anna smile.

* * *

"Goodness gracious, Miss Elsa, serves you right for staying out in the sun so long," Gerda scolded after dinner as she gently rubbed lotion over Elsa's sunburned skin. "This has aloe vera in it. Put more on in the morning. And next time don't stay in the sun so long. You got it all over you, Miss Elsa. Arms, shoulders, face, your back, all over. Although it seems like your ice-fabric is completely sun proof, since your shoulders aren't burned at all under your dress straps. Perhaps you could make some outfit that covers all of you next time you want to stay outside for a long time so you won't get burnt again."

Elsa scowled. "Anna has light skin too, and she doesn't burn like I do. Gerda, I don't _like_ winter clothes. They're all constricting and heavy."

"Miss Elsa, I said your ice-fabric, not those heavy winter dresses like the ones you had when you were younger. And Anna's skin is darker than yours, and she's more used to being in the sun than you are. You simply can't stay in the sun. You are not going to tan and that's that. Although you might end up with more freckles."

"I don't like my freckles. They make me look even younger than I do anyway," Elsa replied, frowning.

"Then don't go in the sun too much." Gerda glanced at the trolls' magic book lying on Elsa's nightstand. "Miss Elsa, be careful with that book, please. I don't trust those trolls; they're the same ones that partly caused the whole mess when you and your sister were little."

"It said ice magic can self-heal, but that it comes with a price," Elsa said quietly, remembering what she'd read just before dinner. _Self-healing with ice magic means that that part of me would be permanently tied directly to my emotions. I guess sort of like the room with the snowflake floor in my ice palace?_ "Does that mean I can really, truly…walk properly again?" She turned her head away from Gerda, not wanting to admit her own wish to be able to do that. _Of course that's not exactly what it means, Elsa. You already knew that._

Gerda gently took Elsa's hands in hers and gave them a reassuring squeeze. "I assume that 'price' means the risk of whatever you'd healed with magic acting up when you get upset or something?" (Elsa nodded.) "Miss Elsa, you know it's the nerves that control movement in that leg are what's damaged, I know you do. Is it possible to repair only the nerves with your magic and then go through regular therapy to strengthen and stretch those muscles? If you did that, then it would take much longer to heal it, obviously, but you would be relying on your powers less."

Elsa frowned, remembering how her leg had started hurting when Gerda had tried to simply move her ankle about. "Wouldn't therapy really hurt?" she asked hesitantly.

"Not permanently like uncontrollable spasms would most likely be every time you got upset if you did it entirely with your magic. That would probably still happen on occasion, but the risk would be less," Gerda told her, trying to be as honest as possible. "Really, Miss Elsa, I think you should try. You have a high pain tolerance anyway. Physical pain only seems to make you upset when it's completely unexpected."

Elsa mulled that over for a minute before asking her next question. _Gerda is right. I'd deal with temporary pain okay, especially if I knew it was going to help me walk on my own eventually._ "How would I be able to walk during the in-between time?" she asked.

"Probably you would still have to wear your brace at first. Then perhaps you could walk with someone helping you or use crutches once that leg can support part of your weight without it. Miss Elsa, don't freak yourself out over it. We can figure something out," Gerda assured her. "The first thing is that you need to learn exactly where those nerves are and how to fix them with your magic. Your job is to figure that out. Is that all right?"

Elsa smiled a bit and nodded. "I think lobster girl can do that," she deadpanned, her blue eyes twinkling in amusement. _And I_ can _do that. I know I can._

 _ **A/N:**_ **Next chapter coming soon! :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **readeronly76-Lol, I still don't like the trolls.:P They speak in riddles because I personally think they do in the movie. (ie., telling Elsa fear will be her enemy...true, but they also made it sound like it was OTHERS' fear instead of the truth, her OWN...) And yes, Elsa got sunburned.:P She's so light I think she'd get burnt really quickly if she tried to spend time outside in the sun.**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-I thought Linnae and Gerda just wouldn't trust the trolls, so...they don't.:) Pabbie does understand the book, just not fully. While I like your theories and all of them do make sense, I was going more for the "book-reacts-to-things-that-change-the-timeline" type thing. Only someone with magical powers of some kind can open the book (like Elsa). The information in it is supposed to _help_ those individuals. That's why Jade reading parts of the book was doubly bad-it gave her info she wouldn't have had from anywhere else. If Elsa DID sit around and do nothing, her name just plain would disappear from the book after awhile. Hopefully that kinda makes sense.:)**

 **On to the story!**

 _I'm going to go ask Mama and Papa if they want to have breakfast with Anna and me here upstairs,_ Elsa decided the next morning. Elsa knew there was no way Anna could get downstairs at the moment, at least not safely, so she'd decided to just eat upstairs with her little sister. She paused in front of her parents' door when she heard her parents talking inside. They didn't sound mad, exactly, but they were definitely disagreeing on something.

"Idun, that is nonsense. All that would do is cause far more attention to the problem than there should be. That's a horrible, awful idea if you ask me," she heard her father say.

"It was _your_ idea in the first place!" Elsa heard her mother reply.

"Yes, when there was a cheating scoundrel trying to take over Arendelle. One that Elsa completely outwitted. That was also before I saw that girl in political action. Idun, young and inexperienced as she may be, Elsa _is_ doing a good job; she appears to be doing a better job than I did. She may dislike socializing and whatever else, but the people love her. They trust her, at least mostly. Respect her, even though she's barely more than a child. I've heard this for myself; I've gone to the market disguised simply to find out. Just look at Elsa's image, Idun. She hasn't done it on purpose, but she's created a signature look that appears both innocent and powerful just by being herself. I greatly disliked that whole thing when we first came back, but now…" Agdar's voice trailed off.

Still outside the door, Elsa bit her lip, knowing she really, really should not be eavesdropping on her parents; but her overwhelming desire to know just why and what they were saying about her won out, and she stayed put. _Just a few seconds more and then I'll leave. That's okay…isn't it?_

"Agdar, that's not the point. She's _hurting_. Don't you get that? I don't know what 'image' Elsa has made for herself for the 'general public', but she needs a break. Temporarily, not permanently, of course. You still think as a king first and a father second. Elsa deserves a chance to be just…Elsa. Without a monarch's responsibilities. She's so young, and she never even had a chance to grow up properly. Can't we do that for her now?" Idun asked. "Not to mention I most definitely don't see how the public knowing how Elsa really is inside is a 'good image'."

"Good grief, no one is going to know at all unless you start flapping your jaws all over the country!" Agdar exploded. "You do realize most people in Arendelle probably don't even know Elsa was physically injured like she was. She was brought home in a simple sled all wrapped up. Unless people were paying very close attention, they know nothing. Also, I may not like her special abilities much, but they do automatically give her a reason to be listened to. She's virtually our entire offense and defense all inside one too-skinny girl. One more thing, Idun." He paused for a moment before continuing, "You need to remember that Elsa is _not_ the little eight-year-old girl you wish she still was. The girl is twenty-one. She is queen whether you like it or not. Elsa does deserve the chance to grow up properly, but that time is over, and we cannot give that to her. If you intend to fuss over our daughter and treat her like a little kid, I don't want you near her. Elsa _must_ stop her incessant freaking out when she cries or gets upset. You fussing over her will not help."

"She can't just 'stop freaking out', Agdar! She needs help! The least we can do is help her after abusing her all her life!"

Agdar resisted the urge to just yell at his wife, completely unaware that whatever he decided to reply meant more than he knew since Elsa still stood outside the door. "Idun, the way we, especially I, treated Elsa was wrong. That I agree with. I also agree that she needs help. But I _know_ fussing over her-or telling her she should abdicate to 'give herself a break'-is also wrong. Not only would Elsa abdicating cause unnecessary upheaval with the public, I honestly think Elsa _needs_ the responsibility. It's what she was trained for since she was a toddler. Whatever may be wrong with her physically, like her crippled leg; or emotionally, like the crying and panic attacks… _does not matter_. I'll not take yet another thing away from her. Elsa loves Arendelle, Idun. She loves her family and everyone else, too. Do you realize just what Elsa did last Christmas? Wherever she was, I firmly believe she genuinely died and chose to come back. There was no reason for her to do that. She came back to a messed-up body and a still-hurting heart when she could have chosen to stay somewhere safe and happy permanently. Somewhere she didn't hurt anymore. Although something tells me I am quite sure part of it was because she wanted to be able to be around Anna…but never mind. The facts remain. Elsa is queen; you are forbidden to treat her like a baby; and she will simply have some help."

Elsa decided she didn't want to hear any more of that conversation, and she simply headed down the hall to eat breakfast with her little sister. _I wish my parents wouldn't argue just because of me. Although it does mean a lot that I can easily tell that both of them genuinely care about me._

* * *

"Elsa, don't you dare try to do anything to that leg until you're absolutely positive you know what you are doing," Agdar said firmly that afternoon in the library. _I told Elsa I would leave her alone about that._ "Never mind, just be careful, that's all."

Elsa merely smiled at her father as she looked up from the two books she was studying. One was the magic book from the trolls, and the other was an anatomy book she'd found in the library. _This isn't just about my leg, though…there's a few other things I want to do, things that aren't…selfish. Things that would help Arendelle._ "Of course I will be careful, Papa. Could you please shut the door on your way out?"

"Certainly." Agdar paused in the library doorway and turned back to face Elsa. "Elsa…may I request something of you? I know I've done nothing to earn the right to ask you for things," he said hesitantly, but in a flat voice. Elsa immediately nodded, and he continued, "I can tell you've forgiven me for what I did to you, but your sister-" Agdar abruptly cut himself off and told his daughter good-bye.

Elsa felt completely puzzled for a second, but she knew _exactly_ what her father had been about to say when Anna came into the library a second later. _Papa was going to ask me if I could somehow get Anna to not yell at him so much. He wants to fix his role as daddy for Anna, too._ "Anna tries to protect me and she hurts Papa in the process," she said to herself.

Anna scowled when she heard Elsa's words. "Just what is that supposed to mean?! Elsa, _he_ hurt _you_! I gotta protect you; I gotta make sure you're safe and loved and taken care of properly 'cause you don't value yourself at all! What did Dad tell you? What did he say that made you all upset?" she asked. Anna noticed the books spread out on the coffee table and Elsa's brace lying on the floor, and promptly made a face. "Did Dad start bugging you about trying to heal your leg, Elsa? I'm gonna go and-"

"Anna. Anna… _Anna!_ Just listen to me for a minute, please!" Elsa finally caught her little sister's attention and yanked her down to sit on the sofa beside her. "First, I'm sorry if I hurt your leg by yanking you like that. And secondly, Anna, Papa wants to be a real daddy to you, but he can't even try if you keep yelling or fussing at him just 'cause you're trying to protect me," she said quietly. "I…I really, really appreciate you trying to protect me, but…" _But I need Anna…she helps_ fix _me. She doesn't want to get rid of me or throw me away. I know she doesn't. That was a horrible fake thing bad people wanted me to believe._

 _Elsa, you have to finish what you were going to say. Just say it. You can do it. You have to be the grown-up one and be logical._ Elsa forced herself to keep her blue eyes open and focused on Anna, despite the tears filling them. "But I'm not the only member of your family. Papa's your family, too. You…you've got to dump me sometimes and not be overprotective and be nice to Papa," Elsa finally blurted.

"Dad hurt you, and I will NOT let it happen again!" Anna spat. "You're loads more important. He's got Mom anyways; and you, since you just randomly forgave him for no reason. Somebody's got to look out for you, Elsa. I…I just want to keep you safe, sis…and you to not be…hurting anymore. It's Dad's fault!"

Elsa tilted her head to one side in confusion. "What's Papa's fault?" She paused; then added, "And Anna, you forgave _me_. Why can't you forgive him, too?"

Anna's freckled face scrunched up like she was about to cry. " _That_ is what's his fault and why I shan't forgive him," she whispered vehemently. "It's you, Elsa!"

Elsa subconsciously flinched before realizing Anna wasn't angry with her. "Anna, I'm sorry, but I don't understand. What's making my usually happy, optimistic, loving, carefree little sister so…grudging?" she asked. "I promise I won't start crying or get mad. I just want to know so I can try to help."

Anna balled her hands into fists and impulsively pulled Elsa close and just squeezed her so tightly she could hardly breathe. _Elsa really doesn't understand. She just doesn't get it._ "Dad _hurt_ you, Elsa. Really bad. Like I can remember way too clearly finding you in the dungeon…you just…you let me hug you, but only 'cause those horrid shackles were on you, and you promised you wouldn't attempt suicide…and then you _did_ try that and…and I remember you when you were little, Elsa. You were confident; you didn't think there was something wrong with you; you weren't scared and hurting so much; you actually stood up for yourself-you'd actually _fight_ to protect yourself, too, not just me. Every time I think of what happened in that cave, I…I just want to cry and scream. It's _awful_ …even after we got out of there it was awful. I remember Gerda holding you while we were in the sled on the way home…I thought you were unconscious, but you opened your eyes and tried to reach for my hand. Even then, right after I'd shot an arrow at you and you weren't even completely awake, you still wanted me to help…"

Elsa simply let Anna continue her rambling speech and didn't try to make Anna stop squeezing her so tightly. _I don't even know what to say. Anna shouldn't care about me so much. It's not good for her._

"And then after the doctor and Gerda had finished taking care of you, I came to the infirmary later 'cause I wanted to see you, and…and I don't think you prob'ly even remember this, but still…you were still having trouble breathing and you were crying and I guess you were having a bad dream 'cause you said you knew you were defective and you apologized to me and you said 'please don't get rid of me'. Elsa, you…you just looked so sad and…and helpless that it hurt me, too…I can't imagine how much you were physically hurting on top of hurting inside. And I remember you right after the Great Thaw…you were _so_ happy just because you had me back and you could control your powers. Those are things you should have always had! Basically I think that the original culprit of why my sister's hurting inside now is still Dad, not Jade. If you'd been treated properly since you were little, these other bad people wouldn't be remotely able to hurt you at all! Even now, I _know_ villainized-me is what hurt you, not Jade. And Dad just always pushes you too much and he doesn't understand you and he fusses at you and you need somebody to keep you safe and protected and I'm gonna do that for you!" Anna finally stopped squeezing Elsa so tightly, and just crossed her arms. "So that's why. And you always apologize for things that aren't your fault!" _Wait…I shouldn't have told Elsa all that! She just looks upset._ "I'm sorry, Elsa…I shouldn't have said all that." Anna brushed her own tears away and tried her best to smile at her sister.

Elsa shook her head and gave Anna a lopsided smile. "It's okay, Anna…holding all that in certainly isn't right. You taught me that. I…I'm not good at comforting other people; you know that already. But I do know you can _not_ just hold a grudge toward Papa just because your big sister is…damaged. Anna, you blame him for things that he didn't even do. One example…when you first came in, you asked me if Dad was fussing at me about my leg."

"Wasn't he?"

"No, he actually told me to be careful with it, Anna," Elsa replied quietly. "I had voluntarily decided to read up on the information we have on nerves and magic and such and try to figure out how to fix it," she told Anna.

Anna frowned. _What if Elsa can't fix it and she's just setting herself up to be disappointed? Wait…that's not true. She can definitely fix it! Elsa's magic can fix her leg._ "Can I see what you're doing?" she asked curiously.

Elsa smiled. "Sure. I've already found where some of the nerves that control movement are, but they hurt really badly if I meddle with them. Just for a few seconds though," she added hurriedly when she saw Anna making a face. "Then my magic kind of…cools them off, I guess, and the nerve feels numb before feeling okay again. I don't think trying to fix them 'normally' would work like this or even be possible, so I don't know if my magic is affecting things like it's supposed to or not. I think there's a lot of information missing from this anatomy book, too…it's more confusing than it should be because I swear there's things inside my leg that the book has absolutely _no_ information about." _My magic prob'ly knows more about what's inside me than that book does…_

"What are you doing exactly?" Anna asked, reaching to tickle her sister's foot to see if she could move it any better now.

"I'm going to replace all the ruined nerves that control motion with pure ice magic. The nerves that control sensation are all okay, I think. Quit tickling me!" Elsa tossed snowflakes at Anna and managed to consciously move her foot aside, which made both girls smile once they realized what Elsa had done.

"Do it again, sis!" Anna exclaimed; and Elsa bit her lip as she stared intently at her foot and made it move back where she'd had it before. Anna grinned as she watched her big sister. She could tell even if it took intense concentration and that it was hard for Elsa to move her foot, she _was_ consciously deciding to move it; it was genuinely responding to her mind's commands. "Can you stand on it now?" Anna asked excitedly.

Elsa was a hundred percent sure her leg was most definitely not going to put up with supporting her weight, so she said no. "The muscles are all weak and tight and messed up, Anna. It's not going to hold me," she said quietly, although she was still smiling. "Those have to get fixed normally, not with my magic. Gerda said she would help me, though. And I didn't mend _all_ the messed up nerves yet, either." _Anna looks really disappointed…could I maybe at least try?_

Anna frowned. "Can't your magic just fix it right this second? It'll take ages and ages for it to get stronger on its own, and how are you gonna get around in the meantime without that brace? Are you still going to have to wear it for a long time yet? I want you better _now_ , Elsa, and-" Anna cut herself off when she saw that Elsa's smile had disappeared and that she'd abruptly strapped the brace back on her bad leg. _I made her upset. Why did I do that?!_ "I'm sorry I asked you that, sis…could I help you with something?"

 _Elsa, just tell Anna the truth. She'll understand._ "Anna, if I heal it entirely with my magic, it'll start acting up and hurting every time I get upset. It'll be bad enough if I only replace those ruined nerves and don't touch the actual muscles. And I honestly have no idea how I'm going to get around in the meantime; and I don't know how long I'll have to wear my brace. Please don't pressure me about it. _Please._ I can just promise that someday I _will_ probably be able to walk on my own without my brace, although I infer from the magic book that I'll still have at the very least a slight limp. Maybe we can go ice skating when it's better," Elsa said softly, her blue eyes shining with hopeful tears. "I could try to teach you better." _And Grand Pabbie said I needed to really, truly accept that it's never going to really be like it was before._ She gave Anna a lopsided smile as she added, "Besides, having to wear my brace isn't really _that_ bad. I don't like it, but I _am_ used to it now. It just makes me nervous to be unable to walk if…if I, um…lost it. Or couldn't make a new one." _I'll not make Anna feel bad for that incident all over again. We're both safe now._

Anna scowled, but she gave her sister's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I won't even mention at all, now or ever, but only under the condition that if your leg ever hurts for some reason or I want to do something with you that you know or think you can't do; you _will_ tell me. Even if it just hurts a tiny bit. Even if it's something you just _think_ you might not be able to do." Anna's green-blue eyes filled with tears as she added her next caveat. "And you've got to tell me if that…that memory's hurting you again, even if you think it's totally stupid. 'Cause I'll just give you a hug 'til you're all happy again."

Elsa felt a sharp pain run up her leg, despite the fact she hadn't even tried to move it; and she immediately knew what had happened. She bit her lip as she unfastened her brace as fast as she could and just rubbed the sore area until the pain went away. "Well, I think I have double motivation to get myself to stop hurting inside so much," she told Anna ruefully. "It physically hurts now, too!" _Great, just great. My magic had better start cooperating better as I improve at doing such precise, detailed, tiny things with it. Maybe if I start experimenting with it more on less…volatile things, ie., not me physically…it'll be easier to get it to cooperate with healing my leg._

Anna didn't know what to say, so she simply gave Elsa a hug. "I hate seeing you physically hurt, but I'd rather see you that way than emotionally hurt. At least the physical hurt goes away more easily." _If her leg starting to hurt her will help her snap out of her upset self more easily, I suppose that's a good thing. At least it'll make her think of something else._ "Elsa, I got one more idea…I know I said I wouldn't talk about your leg, but I just want to tell you one thing if that's all right."

"Of course it's all right." Elsa smiled expectantly at Anna. _What?_

"I remember after we saw gymnasts in the marketplace one time when we were really little, we built this haphazard equipment afterwards…remember those parallel bar things? What would happen if you made some around waist height or so, maybe a bit shorter so you'd have something to hold on to? Would that help you practice walking? Only when you're ready, of course," Anna finished. _Elsa, please don't be insulted. I'm trying to help…_

Elsa's expression flitted from annoyed to curious to pensive to happy to curious again as she contemplated Anna's idea. _It's at least worth a try,_ she decided finally. "I'll ask Gerda about it since she's my official so-called 'physical therapist'. I think it sounds like it's at the very least worth a try," Elsa informed her sister. "I think I'll figure out how to do real gymnastics moves," she said with a straight face. "I mean, I might fall since my leg doesn't work right, but…I could still try."

Anna looked horrified. "Elsa, I don't want you to get hurt, and-hey, wait a second! You stinker!" She caught a mischievous glint in Elsa's blue eyes and immediately knew Elsa had been joking. "Well, I don't care if you do gymnastics Miss I'm-So-Dignified Queen Elsa, but you had better make sure you land in snow if you fall." She paused before adding in a more serious voice, "Elsa…you don't know how nice it is to hear you really, truly make a joke." Anna hugged her sister close. Suddenly those awful images, the ones of Elsa crumpled on the ground in that cave and Elsa lying in the castle infirmary crying and in pain both inside and out disappeared from Anna's mind entirely. Elsa was _here_ , and she was genuinely happy right now _._ Present-Elsa wasn't like that anymore. She might still be damaged inside, but she was just healing. She would be fine. _Elsa's ok…she's going to be all right._ "You're really, truly ok," Anna whispered. "You're gonna be all right now."

* * *

Elsa was puzzled…she hadn't been crying or anything. Usually Anna said things like that to try to help her feel better. Then Elsa knew.

 _Anna_ had been hurting. Not the same way Elsa had, but hurting all the same.

She'd seen someone she cared about abused both inside and out, and she'd been partly the cause of it. No wonder Anna had been hurting. She was just more resilient than Elsa was.

Elsa pulled away from Anna and hesitantly reached for Anna's hands as she gave Anna a tiny smile. _I just have to do what Anna does for me. I just have to do what Anna does for me. I can do that. It's my turn to be the real big sister for once._ "Anna, I'm okay. I promise. I'm probably still going to break down and cry sometimes, but I think that's normal…you told me it was, anyways. And I…I believe you." She suddenly remembered something, and she stood up and turned so Anna could see her shoulder. Elsa's hand flitted to her now-completely-healed shoulder as she looked straight at Anna. "See, I'm…not hurt anymore. There's no scar there…wait, at least I don't think there is…" _What if there_ is _a mark there?! That'd just make Anna feel worse…_

Anna couldn't help giggling as she watched Elsa frown and start trying to see if there was any mark on her shoulder. _She's trying to help me the same way I try to help her._ "Elsa, there's nothing there," she assured her sister. "Well, nothing except sunburn," Anna amended. "But that's your fault! You stayed in the sun too long, you stinker."

Elsa shrugged, but then her expression grew serious as she plopped back down on the sofa next to Anna. "I…I just want t-to…to say thank-you. For loving and taking care of me and just…just _listening_ sometimes." Elsa subconsciously wrapped her arms around her middle as she dropped her gaze to her lap. "Knowing I have someone who's willing to…to 'listen to the silence', so to speak, when I can't or won't talk about something means a lot. I know real-Anna genuinely accepts real-Elsa, and that helps me feel better." _Even though real-Elsa really hurt real-Anna. I don't have any excuse to be so upset from that whole cave thing-it_ wasn't Anna. _I know it wasn't. So why does it still hurt? Why did it scare me so much?_

"You're 'not talking' right this second," Anna said firmly. _She looks confused._ "You've got questions in your head right this second, Elsa. Can I help you with 'em?"

"I don't know."

"Well, ask anyway. It can't hurt." Anna paused before adding, "And then I have a couple questions that you have full rights not to answer."

Elsa didn't lift her gaze, but she did whisper her questions. "I _know_ the whole cave incident wasn't really you. So why does it still…hurt? Why did it scare me so much? I don't understand…"

"I think you do, Elsa," Anna said softly. "Even if you don't, which I doubt, you've got an idea why. You just don't want to accept it."

 _Why does everyone keep telling me to 'accept' things? Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I want to change those things…even though I can't._ Elsa made no reply, but she scooted closer to her little sister anyways.

Anna debated with herself for a moment before deciding to tell Elsa, even though she was still quite sure Elsa knew the answer(s) to her questions already. "I think it scared you 'cause it took something you always believed would be there. Me. I don't understand why you trust me so much, but I know you do, and I…I messed that up. And really, Elsa, you oughta give yourself a break about the whole thing anyhow. You were seriously hurt; you prob'ly felt vulnerable. Which I know you really, really hate." She frowned as she watched Elsa trying to keep her feelings from showing in her expression, and simply took Elsa's hands and turned them palm up. "Elsa, look. Those nasty burns are gone. You're all right now…well, all right, you're all sunburned, but besides that, you're ok."

" _This_ part of me isn't all right," Elsa replied quietly, jerking her hands away from her sister and pressing them to her heart. "It still feels…broken. Less broken than before, though…I just…I don't know. I'm so _tired_ of this, Anna. It's like a cycle or something-I feel better for awhile and then something else breaks me again. I'm tired of trying to fix things; I'm tired of trying to get better…trying to be strong when I'm not. I…I heard our parents talking this morning. I can tell both of them care what happens to me, but I keep remembering what they said. Mama thinks I should abdicate temporarily 'til I'm not so…messed up inside. Papa kept talking about the 'good image' I have with the public-evidently I look innocent but powerful?-and he thinks it doesn't matter what's wrong with me because the public doesn't know it and that the responsibility is good for me. I wish I hadn't eavesdropped on them at all…" Elsa's voice trailed off as she hid her face in her hands. Right this second she felt like she was getting a headache. _I hate headaches. I can't even numb them with ice like anyone else can._ "Anna…I _do_ need a break. Even just a week or so would help. I feel like I'm going non compos mentis. Crazy, insane, whatever you want to call it. There's several things I want to do for Arendelle and I'm worried they won't work. Anna, I'm…I'm not strong. Or powerful. I'm just a scared girl. One whose heart always hurts. A lot. And I really, really hate it!"

Anna thought for a minute before grabbing a pillow and pushing Elsa over. "Here, Elsa. Lay down here. You can at least take a nap. And you are _not_ broken. Being tired of everything doesn't mean you're broken," she said gently. Anna frowned as Elsa struggled to get comfortable lying down. The sofa wasn't quite long enough for Elsa to stretch out completely with Anna also sitting on it; and Elsa's brace prevented her from letting her bad leg bend at all. "Elsa, why don't you just take it off?" Anna suggested hesitantly, not wanting to sound like she was forcing her sister to do so.

 _Duh, Elsa. You had it off while you were trying to figure out how to fix it anyways._ Elsa gave Anna a slight smile as she dropped the thing on the floor a few seconds later. "I'm not so scared of not having it anymore," she announced quietly. "Still a little bit, I suppose. But less." Elsa thought for a moment; then made a blanket the same color as her original ice-dress with a darker blue snowflake border. "Much better," she said contentedly. The ice-blanket was nearly as big as a comforter, and Elsa somehow felt rather cozy curled up underneath it.

Anna stifled giggles at the utterly ridiculous irony that Elsa had made a _blanket_ out of ice. _Only Elsa would do that. Well, I don't care. At least she's happy again._

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa abruptly sat up, keeping her new blanket draped around her. "I'd share it with you, but I don't think an ice-blanket would be much use to you," she quipped. "I just remembered I wanted to show you something. Anna, I…I'd like to…to do something special in Arendelle for…abused children." _I know I couldn't have been the only one…_ "Not a home, exactly…a place for them to run to where they'd be…safe. I want to give them their own…ice palace…but make it somewhere where they don't have to be…alone." A single tear trickled down Elsa's cheek as she grabbed the magic book and flipped to a certain page to show Anna. "That. I can try to make more than one of them so if any child's in trouble, they can get help." _I don't want anyone ever feeling like I did, that there was no one who could help. Maybe I can change that for others._ "Then they can still stay with their parents and the parents have a chance to fix things. But the child can still have someone that will…help them if they need it. I don't know how much making contact crystals would drain me, but I have to try."

Anna's heart twisted as she read the page in the magic book and realized just what Elsa wanted to do. Her big sister wanted to use her ice magic to make these 'contact crystal' things that tied to one individual person so that said person-and _only_ said person-could contact Elsa if he or she needed help. _She wants to help other kids to get out of the same position she was in all her life. And rather than take them away from their parents, she just wants to try to help repair the family while still protecting the child._ "Elsa, what if the parents stole this magical device from the kid?" Anna asked quietly. "Or did you already figure something out?"

Elsa's expression grew determined at Anna's questions. "Firstly, I had _no_ intentions of telling the parents about it. Secondly, I just need to learn how to make my impenetrable ice just be…cool permanently. Then I could just put the contact crystal on a bracelet around the child's wrist and then nobody could take it away from him or her," she said softly. "What I need help with is _finding_ the children that need help. I've decided you're going to be the one to help do that…because you are good at talking to people and I'm not." _I could talk to the children okay, I think, but I'm no good talking to adults. Plus if someone IS abusing their children, they're not going to want anyone to know about it, and Anna would make them far less suspicious than I would._

"Any more big complicated ideas?" Anna asked quietly. "And I'll be glad to help."

"A couple more, actually," Elsa said, smiling. "I remember when we visited the school last summer, there _were_ a lot of children there, but I know that couldn't have been every child in Arendelle. I want to make it mandatory for kids to attend school; or, if they don't, then the parents need to prove their children have been taught properly at home. And…" Elsa giggled at Anna's childish frown and ignored her comment that the children wouldn't like that. "Now, as I was saying…" her expression grew serious again as she went on, "I also remembered, after thinking about it, that I didn't see any…I'm not sure what a nice way to say it is…disabled or otherwise so-called 'messed up' kids at school last summer, either. Wait, special needs. That sounds better to me." She paused before continuing, "Anyways, those children deserve lessons, too, just like the others. So I want to find all those children too and make sure they have school, too. I mean…"

Anna decided she really, really did not like that look in her sister's eyes. She didn't look sad, exactly, but she looked worried and upset. "What is it, Elsa? What's upsetting you?" she asked gently, giving Elsa a hug.

 _Elsa, just tell Anna. She won't think it's stupid._ "I…I was just thinking that if a child from a poor family had been permanently hurt like me or was born that way, they might not even _have_ money to help him or her. That child would be stuck at home and be really dependent on others for help. You know I don't like having to wear a brace on my leg, but it _does_ let me get around by myself…" Elsa bit her lip as she glanced at her little sister.

Anna just grabbed Elsa's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Why don't you ask Rapunzel to help, then? And if she can't for some reason, which I doubt, then we'll figure out something else."

Elsa gave Anna a lopsided smile. "Okay. And…one other thing. Remember when I visited the bishop last summer and he said something about my own experiences making me better at helping others? Well, I…I think it's true."

 **A/N: Yes, Elsa has some new big plans for Arendelle she wants to enact. She has a point-there should be some peace and quiet within Arendelle for a little while! :P**

 **Only one, maybe two, chapters to go. :)**

 **Next chapter coming soon!**

 **P.S. By the way, I have** ** _not_** **abandoned 'No Escape'...the new chapter is coming soon and I am very sorry for the long wait between updates.:P**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing:)**

 **Olivia O'Neil-Thank you!:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-Thank you!:) Agdar and Idun both have good intentions, but I think what Elsa needs is a mix thereof. Neither of her parents' points of view are entirely right in my opinion...:P I'm glad you like Elsa's and Anna's conversations. Both of them need lots of hugs, I think. But that's okay.:) Lol, I'm very happy you liked Elsa's ice-blanket. It just seemed like something she would do 'just because'. :P I know Elsa's ideas are probably a little...'ahead of her time' since Arendelle still has an 1840s mindset, but those ideas seemed very in-character for her to me all the same.:)**

 **Mandy-That's okay-I understand that.:) Lol, I don't think Elsa is going to become a gymnast, but I can see her attempting to do so by herself.:P (After all, wayyyy back in Secret Passages, she did try a one-handed cartwheel when Anna asked her if she could and easily succeeded. :)) I do intend to write a one-shot like that sometime soon.:) That's cool! I wish I could do gymnastics, but I can't. Not unless you count sloppy cartwheels...:P Elsa's magic _can_ help her leg, but it'll start hurting her like that every time she gets seriously upset.:/ Well, 'curiosity killed the cat', so no, I don't think Elsa should have listened to her parents' conversation. That may have reassured her that they do care about her, but it also put stupid ideas in her head. I thought Elsa should have a chance to comfort Anna the same way Anna comforts her.:) Ice palace in the next chapter, I promise! Yes, there will be another story after this one...without so much stuff going on that ends up hurting someone, Elsa especially.:P (I think Elsa needs a break; not a break from being queen, a break from one awful thing happening after another.:)) Actually I have those ideas already in my head as future projects, all except the one regarding the book with the trolls in it.:P I don't know when I'll write it, but when I do, I'll be sure to give you credit for the idea,:) Thank you so much. That means a lot.:) **

**It just seemed like something Elsa would want to try to do. She's admitted to herself that her parents _did_ abuse her when she was younger, but she also knows they weren't trying to, probably didn't even realize they were. That's why she wants to give the parents a chance to fix things while still ensuring that the child is safe. She also knows having a 'safe place' is important, so she also wants to give the children somewhere where they can go, away from their parents but still not be alone. Granted, Elsa's plan wouldn't work in real life, at least not very well, since it relies solely on her magic, but it's still something. (In real life, Elsa's contact crystals would be akin to an emergency cell phone number, but a phone could be taken away from a child in trouble...that issue is why Anna asked what if the crystal were taken away.:/ Elsa had a solution, but still.) I feel like this topic (along with the disability one, for that matter, now that I'm really thinking about it) is a rather touchy one, so I'm trying to be super careful, but I think it fits well in the Frozen story-verse and I also think the issue should be addressed better and more often. So...yeah. I don't want to be all preachy like 'look at the awesome message my story has! look look look!' because that's pointless and takes away from the story and the characters.:P I haven't heard that song, but I will look it up.:) Thank you so much for the long reviews!**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:)**

 **Tithi-Yay, new reader!:) Thank you, especially for the psitive feedback about my OC's. I usually dislike OCs too, so I'd totally understand if you didn't like mine.:P**

 **On to the story!:)**

Elsa jerked awake early the next morning when she felt something bouncing on her bed. "Anna…?" she asked sleepily. "Anna, quit that, you'll hurt Anikka," Elsa scolded, tossing a tired arm around what she thought was the little girl next to her. _Wait a minute…how is Anna doing that anyways?! She's going to hurt_ herself _!_ Elsa abruptly sat up and blinked in confusion at the three smiling faces in front of her. "Oh," was all she said aloud. Now she understood. Rapunzel was better now, and so she'd healed Anna and Anikka before coming in here to wake Elsa up too.

"Kiara was lazy and wouldn't get up," Anna informed Elsa.

"Good grief, Elsa, that's some sunburn," Rapunzel teased her cousin. "Shall I get rid of it for you?"

Elsa stifled a giggle at that. "If you think it looks bad now, you should have seen it before. It was ten times worse, and I looked like a lobster. But yes, I would very much like it if you got rid of it."

"You look like a lobster now, Elsa. No offense." Rapunzel brushed her short brown hair out of her eyes and laid her hand on Elsa's shoulder.

"Then I looked like a sunburned lobster before," was Elsa's quick rejoinder as her cousin began singing. Elsa watched in fascination as the sunburn faded entirely, returning her skin to its usual fair coloring. _It's like watching it heal naturally, except at superspeed._ "Rapunzel, when you heal someone, what does it feel like?" she asked curiously.

Rapunzel thought for a moment before replying. "Kind of like you probably do when you use your magic. Like something pleasant flowing through me. Mine feels light and airy and warm. Pure energy, maybe? I'm not sure. It doesn't respond to my emotions like yours does, though. That's probably why I don't know how to describe it. What would you say yours feels like?"

Elsa had an easy reply for that, and she smiled. "When I'm happy, it feels calm and pleasantly cool. I can _feel_ the ice flowing inside me. Blue…I think if my powers are happy, then I'm happy too, and vice versa? And if I'm excited or confident, which doesn't really happen very often; it makes me feel exhilarated and invincible, like an adrenaline rush, I suppose. Like I can do anything and…and nothing can hurt me." Elsa's bright smile faded, and she pulled her good knee to her chest as she just stared off into space, growing oblivious to who she was talking to. "If I'm scared, it starts swirling around inside and it feels all agitated and it won't calm down and it wants to come out…color red, maybe. If I'm just sad or hurt, it feels…squashed, like it's sad too. Purple, like bruises…if I'm angry, it feels like exploding and I can't keep it in very long and I have no idea what color it is." Elsa buried her face in her knees as she added the last things she was thinking. "…and if I have a panic attack, it's like all the negative feelings and those effects on my magic, especially the fear, multiplied ten times over. It _hurts_ really, really bad, like…like somebody grabbed my heart and crushed it and then stomped on it just t-to make sure it was…b-broken."

Anna knew Elsa had absolutely no idea she was still talking aloud, but she didn't care. All she had realized was that her sister had just said a _lot_ about her feelings and that she knew far too much about her negative emotions and not enough about her positive ones. Anna frowned as she watched Elsa; her slender shoulders were shaking and she was still curled up in a ball-well, except her bad leg stretched awkwardly in front of her-and snowflakes still floated slowly around her. _That's it; I can't watch this anymore. She needs someone to hold her._ Without asking Elsa if it was all right to do so, Anna just picked her up and plopped down in the comfy chair in the corner holding Elsa tightly. "Rapunzel, give me a blanket, please. Elsa's not too cold to hold, but I think she needs something warm to make her feel better," Anna said softly. Then she whispered to Elsa, "I know you didn't mean to say all that, but I'm glad you did. Is your magic hurting you right this second, sis? Or your leg?"

 _Why didn't I just shut up?! Why did I say all that?_ Elsa hesitated before slowly nodding. "A little bit," she mumbled. "I'm used to it…no big deal, Anna…"

"No, Elsa, it _is_ a big deal. I'll not have you hurting, inside or out, let alone both. You already told us all about how your powers make you feel, so don't just say you're fine. Tell me how to make either you or your magic happy, preferably both," Anna instructed, gently draping the blanket Rapunzel handed her around Elsa. "And before you ask, you're not too cold to touch. I just thought a bit of warmth might make you feel better. So no ice-blanket for you right now."

"I left it in the library yesterday anyways. I thought it looked pretty draped over the back of the sofa." Elsa thought for a long time before answering Anna's question. "Going to my ice palace would make my powers happy with me, I think," she said softly, her blue eyes shining with happy tears as she remembered building it…and subsequently taking Anna there to visit a few days after the Great Thaw. _That would make me happy. Maybe Mama and Papa would want to come too…_

"I think so too, you little stinker," Anna replied, hugging Elsa tightly. She whispered in her sister's ear, "I _will_ help you get better, Elsa. No matter how long it takes." _She's tried her best to protect me her whole entire life. I can do the same for her. Especially since she doesn't even care about herself. I want Elsa not to just know people care about her; I want her to know she_ deserves _to be loved and cared for, too._ "Also I think you should take a non-official break for a little while. Just a few days or a week or something, not like what you heard Mom suggesting. Now that I'm better, I'll take care of your queen stuff for a little while. But only if you want me to."

Elsa smiled a bit at that. "If we're lucky, which I doubt, maybe we'll have a bit of peace and quiet in Arendelle for awhile and no one will have to do much politically, period. What if I let you do the paperwork and such for one week, not one day more, and I'll work on my ideas I told you about?" she offered. "If you have any questions whatsoever, you can still ask me, of course."

"Deal. But you gotta promise to not just work on your ideas for Arendelle. You have to work on helping _you_ too, Elsa," Anna said firmly. _I bet Elsa's just going to end up working harder than before, the little stinker…she's got all those plans that are really a very big deal to her._

"Outside or inside?" Elsa quipped, only half-joking.

"Both. But mostly inside. I don't care about your leg much as long as it doesn't bother you," Anna informed her truthfully. Yes, Anna wished Elsa's leg worked properly, but she would gladly have happy Elsa with a messed up leg instead of hurt Elsa with a not messed up leg. _I just want Elsa to be happy and confident again._

"I don't think I can fix that in a week," Elsa said softly. She put one hand to the little snowflake pendant around her neck and closed her eyes. _No fear. Love equals freedom. I can at least try._

"And no one expects you to, Elsa," Rapunzel jumped in. "We just expect you to do your best, whatever that might be. Kind of like I'd _expect_ Anna to run faster than, say, little Anikka. Anikka's very best efforts won't make her run as fast as Anna, and that's fine. Right?" She frowned, realizing that parallel probably wasn't the best one to use considering her cousin couldn't run at all. "Sorry, Elsa-I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry. I was just trying to-"

But Elsa was giggling. "Rapunzel, don't apologize. It's okay. Really. What I'd _really_ like to see is you and Anna have a running race. Now that would be more fair, don't you think? My money would be on Anna," she teased, her blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Now wait a second! I'm _taller_ than Anna!"

Elsa was still smiling as she struggled to stand up and then pulled Anna to her feet too. "On the contrary, no, you are not. Look." She put her little sister and her cousin back-to-back and checked just to be sure. "Yes, that's what I thought. You two are the exact same height. If anything, Anna is taller. That means I'm the tallest still."

Anikka had just been watching the three older girls, but now she said, "I wanna race on team. With Elsa. Anna an' Punzie own team too."

Elsa simply picked the little girl up and held her close. "Why don't you have a team with Kiara instead? You can let me be the judge," she suggested. "I can go find her for you. Or, to make it more fair, you can pick Anna or Rapunzel to be on a team with you, and Kiara and whoever you don't pick can be the other team."

"Nope. I want Elsa!" Anikka stood her ground. She wanted Elsa on her team and no one else. Suddenly the little girl realized just why Elsa didn't want to be on a team. _Elsa can't run._ Anikka wasn't used to Elsa not being able to do something at all because of her leg, not unless somebody had been hurting her or otherwise being mean to her. "I want Elsa anyway," Anikka repeated in a quieter voice. She knew what feeling left out was like; it had been like that at the orphanage, although the little girl was quite sure now that that had been mostly because she wouldn't talk to anyone before. Anikka did _not_ want to do that to Elsa.

Rapunzel and Anna exchanged glances, unsure what to do or say. They both knew Anikka could be very, very insistent sometimes, and neither of them wanted to risk making Elsa upset, either. And Anikka was _Elsa's_ charge technically, not theirs. Elsa simply set Anikka down gently and looked her straight in the face. "Anikka, you don't want me on your team for a running race. Trust me. If I use my magic to help myself somehow, it won't be fair to anyone else. And if I don't, I'll be far too slow. It's all right, Anikka. You don't have to include me, okay?"

Anikka's little face scrunched up angrily. "Do too! Elsa have t' be in-cluded! Not want t' leave Elsa out! It not fair. Why Elsa not get t'-jus' not fair! Elsa play too. Or no one play. No leave Elsa out! Why's Elsa's leg hurt an-yway? Not fair! No fair!" Anikka had no idea how to express herself verbally; all she knew was that Elsa didn't want to play a game because she thought she couldn't and that it was _not_ fair that Elsa was hurt.

Elsa recognized the signs of a temper tantrum because she remembered how Anna would act when she was little. _What do I do?! I can't just let Anikka yell and scream, even if she's just trying to be nice to me…_ On instinct, she just picked up the angry child and plopped down in a chair holding her close. _Don't cry, Elsa. Take care of Anikka. She was just trying to take care of you, you know._ "Anikka. Anikka, just listen. Please," she said in a calm voice. "Please listen, Anikka," she repeated quietly, now on the verge of tears herself because she had no idea what to do. "Please…"

Anikka stopped shouting, but she hid her face in Elsa's dress and sobbed instead. "Not _fair_!" she said again.

"It's okay, Anikka. You know I'm not the only one with a messed up leg. You told me so, remember? You said it didn't matter. And it's hurt because of an accident, that's all. Not because a mean bad person did it to me on purpose." Elsa hesitantly began stroking the little girl's brown curls, hoping it would help Anikka feel better the same way it did for Elsa herself. "And you know what else? Just…just someone _wanting_ to include me and not leave me out means a lot." Elsa's big blue eyes filled with tears, but she smiled when she realized Anikka wasn't crying anymore. The little girl was just curled up on Elsa's lap, staring up at her. _I made Anikka stop crying all by myself. I didn't have to go get help._

"Still not fair," Anikka stated with great certainty.

"Well, I _can_ do this," Elsa replied as she made her signature snowflake in one hand and then made it burst into tiny snowflakes floating around both of them. "I can't run like you can, but you don't have magic like me, either." _Thank goodness. I don't mind my powers anymore, but I still wouldn't wish them on anyone else, especially someone as little as Anikka._

"That not fair either. I want t' be like Elsa. And Elsa 'dopt me? Want Elsa be mommy," Anikka announced hopefully. "Please?"

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, remembering all the times Anikka had tried to help her. All the times Anikka had asked for Elsa to be her mother. The multiple occasions the little girl had told Elsa her bad leg was just part of her and it didn't matter. Most of all, the seven simple words Anikka had said in the smoke-filled cave right after Elsa had (probably stupidly) pulled that arrow out of her shoulder and crumpled to the ground. _'Elsa not be sad. I Elsa's friend.'_ Anikka was five. Nobody could possibly have blamed her if she'd run on her own and left Elsa behind…after all, Elsa herself had outright told her to. But no, Anikka had stayed with the badly injured girl and tried to comfort her. To Elsa, that decision meant more than little Anikka could know. Anikka's words had given her hope when she had almost given up. And now the little girl said she wanted to be like _Elsa?_

Now Elsa smiled at Anikka as a single tear ran down her cheek. _Gerda said to be logical,_ Elsa tried to remind herself. _I should not adopt Anikka based off emotions._

 _Elsa, adopting Anikka is_ fine _. Just make a public announcement that you are doing so and that there is no worry, she isn't being your heir. She'll just simply be Princess Anikka of Arendelle, always. That would get rid of the bad repercussions from such a thing. And if you are worried you can't take care of a child, just go ask Gerda if she'll help._

 _That's true. If Gerda can manage to take care of me, she can definitely take care of Anikka._ Elsa suddenly seemed much more sure of herself as she glanced toward her sister and cousin. "Will you two please go get Gerda? I need to ask her something."

* * *

"What is it, Miss Elsa? Is something wrong?" Gerda asked the second she bustled into the room with Anna right behind her.

"Not this time," Elsa replied with a lopsided smile. "Anikka and I just have a question. I don't feel remotely competent enough to take care of her, but Anikka really, really wants…me to-"

"I want Elsa t' 'dopt me!" Anikka announced proudly. "Elsa say she has a idea. But she want talk t' Gerda first."

Elsa took a deep breath before continuing. "Gerda, I…I know it's kind of a lot to ask, but…could I count on you to take care of Anikka when I can't? I don't want to put Anikka through having to be around me every time I get scared or upset. And I'm…I just plain don't know…how to be a mother. I…I need help…" _I feel too young and stupid to be a good mother…_ Elsa's voice trailed off, and she wasn't sure what else to say. _Please say yes. Please. I don't want to hurt Anikka._

Gerda frowned. _Why is Elsa asking me that?_ "Miss Elsa, you have the right to just instruct me to take care of Anikka, you know. Don't be so hesitant to tell people to do things sometimes. That being said, I will be glad to help you take care of Anikka, although I am sure you would do a fine job on your own. I promise I will take just as much care of her as I did for you and your sister when you two were five." She smiled at both girls before continuing, "Really, Miss Elsa, look at yourself right this second. You're holding a little girl and you're thinking carefully about how your decisions could potentially affect her. I think someone like that would make a very good mother. Also your sister and cousin just told me how you stopped a temper tantrum. You'll be just fine, Miss Elsa."

Elsa still didn't believe Gerda when she said Elsa would be a good mother, but Gerda's promise was enough for her; and she smiled at Anikka and gave her a hug. "Tell Gerda thank-you, Anikka. Because she's the one and only reason I might be able to do this," she said quietly. "Welcome to the family, Anikka."

"I not know how t' curtsy!" Anikka repeated shortly after Gerda had left the room. Elsa had told the little girl she would announce everything at dinner that evening, and that Anikka was supposed to curtsy to her new grandparents afterwards.

"It's easy, Anikka. And _please_ don't call my parents grandma and grandpa unless they offer first, all right?" Elsa was still worried about what her parents might think about the whole thing, and she wanted to minimize as much of the impact as possible. Calling the former king and queen 'grandma' and 'grandpa' was definitely not going to help.

"'Kay. Show curtsy, please?" Anikka asked. "What I call Elsa now?"

Elsa bit her lip as she tried to demonstrate how to curtsy to Anikka, but quickly realized it was impossible because of her leg. _It's a lucky thing I generally don't need to do that since I'm queen…_ "Anna, Rapunzel, could one of you show Anikka how, please? I can't," Elsa said quietly. "And Anikka, you can call me whatever you like, as long as it's not…" _Not one of those awful things I sometimes feel like I am? I can't tell Anikka that. I want her to be honest with me._

Anna yanked Elsa aside when she noticed Elsa's expression turn sad. "You say 'as long as it's not rude', Elsa," she whispered fiercely. "You deserve respect, just like anyone else. More so, really." She hugged Elsa tightly and gestured for Rapunzel to show Anikka the curtsy instead. While Rapunzel and Anikka were occupied, Anna quietly opened the window and climbed out on the ledge, pulling Elsa after her. _Elsa won't be able to climb out here…wait, never mind, she has her magic. She'll be fine._ She gave Elsa a reassuring smile and tugged on her arm. "C'mon, sis. You can do it. Just use your powers. I know you like being up high on top of things."

"Well…okay." Elsa's tone of voice clearly showed she was hesitant to go with Anna out on the ledge, but she took a deep breath and used her air currents to follow her sister. _I can do this. I defeated someone with stolen power crystals-with my friends' help-I can go out on the roof._ She smiled as she carefully dropped down on the ledge. Her blue eyes suddenly lit up as something popped into her head. "Anna, I have an idea. Multiple ideas, actually. Can you hold on to me like when you used to ask me for piggyback rides when you were little?" Elsa spotted Linnae perched contentedly at the very top of the castle roof and immediately changed her plans. "Never mind. Linnae, please come here. I have a surprise for Anna."

Seconds later, Anna was screaming in delighted fright as she clutched Elsa tightly while Linnae took the two of them on a wild flight. "Elsa, what are we _doing_?!" she shouted in surprise.

"I'm fixing the birthday I messed up for you last year," Elsa replied. She closed her eyes and concentrated for a moment, remembering what Pabbie had told her about being able to communicate with Linnae silently. _Linnae, slow down, please._ The dragon instantly came to a stop and hovered in midair. _Thank you, Linnae._ Elsa broke off the mental contact and somehow gracefully turned to face Anna. "It's months late, but I wanted to fix what I messed up when I collapsed because I was sick. I owe you an impromptu speed trip to the ice palace. And yes, I do want to go there myself, too."

Anna frowned. _Elsa's smiling, but she looks…hurt somehow. I don't think most people could tell, but…_ "You don't owe me anything, Elsa," she said firmly. "It wasn't your fault you got sick." Anna paused for a moment before adding, "This random trip isn't just 'cause of my birthday. I know it's not. Which is totally fine, but…I don't think you really know why we're going there right this second. Elsa, what is going on in that little complicated head of yours? Are you running away again and just taking someone with you this time?" She followed her sister's gaze and looked down at the ground below them, noticing just where they were. _She's thinking about that whole cave mess again and no wonder…it's right below us._ "Elsa, tell Linnae to take us down there," Anna said quietly.

"I don't want to," Elsa replied, just as the dragon suddenly landed right next to the cave. "Linnae, I did _not_ tell you to take us here," she scolded aloud. _I don't want to go back in there. I really, really, really don't want to be here._

 _Anna said to. You did not say_ not _to take you two here,_ Linnae replied unapologetically.

* * *

Elsa sighed as she let Anna help her slide down off Linnae's back. _Elsa, don't freak out. It's just you and Anna here. You have Linnae with you, and you're not injured-you could defend yourself if you needed to. But you won't._ Elsa could feel her legs shaking under her, and she nearly collapsed as Anna tugged her toward the cave. "Anna, I _don't_ want to go in there! And I don't think you do, either, actually," she informed her sister.

"Yeah, that's exactly why we're going in there. It's a stupid cave, Elsa. There's nothing for us to be scared of. And we're gonna go in there and see that for ourselves." Anna stopped walking and just stared at Elsa. Anna didn't smile; she just stared at her. "Either you go in willingly by yourself or I'm gonna just pick you up and carry you."

Elsa flinched at Anna's stern (for her) tone of voice. "Please don't do that," she said quietly but firmly. "I am not going in there, Anna. I don't have to, so I'm not going to." She quickly made a soft pile of snow and just sat down in it and refused to go any further. "I'll wait for you right here." _Elsa, you're being ridiculous…_

Anna hesitated before reaching to simply pick Elsa up. Elsa simply scooted backwards, her hands held protectively close to her chest. Instantly Anna backed away, biting her lip as she remembered the last time her big sister had scooted away from her like that. _I can't make her feel like that again. She looks all tense and scared…_ "I'm sorry, Elsa. I promise I won't hurt you like that again. I just don't want you scared of a stupid cave, that's all."

Elsa blinked back tears, but her body mostly relaxed as she managed to give Anna a small smile. "I know you won't hurt me, but I'm…that…that cave still…it's…" She shuddered at the memories. _That was NOT Anna. Real-Anna is right in front of me._ "You can go in there if you want, but I'm not ready. Maybe another time, okay?"

"Elsa, if you know I won't hurt you, then you'll be fine." Quite honestly, Anna didn't want to go in that cave either, especially alone; but she thought doing so might somehow make the two of them less upset about the whole thing. To prove that they were both all right now. Anna bit her lip again as she made one quick movement and picked Elsa up. "You'll thank me in a minute," she said confidently.

Elsa began struggling in her sister's arms, trying in vain to get Anna to put her down. "Anna, please…please put me down," she begged. "I don't want to go in there! Please let me go. Please…" Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, still wishing that Anna would listen to her, but she refused to force Anna to let her go by using her magic somehow. That she wouldn't do. Not when she was upset, which meant she risked hurting Anna.

Anna grew alarmed when she felt Elsa just go completely limp in her arms. Elsa's slender body was trembling all over, but she was dead weight in Anna's arms. "Elsa, I'm sorry! Look, I'm just taking you back to the snow pile you made, 'kay? Elsa?" Anna gently laid Elsa down in the snow, keenly aware that Linnae was none too pleased with either one of them. "Elsa, listen. Listen. I won't take you in there. I was hoping it'd help, but I guess not. I…what did you just say, Elsa?"

"My leg…it hurts…why, Anna?" There was the slightest trace of betrayal in Elsa's frightened tone. All her scared mind registered was that someone had been trying to carry her into a place where she'd been badly hurt before. She wanted someone to hold her and make the hurt go away. _Anna was_ not _trying to hurt or scare me. She was trying to help. I am lying in the snow, and real-Anna is right next to me. I am fine._

While Anna knew exactly why Elsa's leg was hurting her-it was simply because she was scared and upset and her powers were causing it-Anna didn't dare take Elsa's brace off her leg to try to help her. That was sure to just frighten Elsa further. _I'll just hold her 'til she can make her leg stop hurting herself._ "Elsa, we are safe," she said quietly, gently scooping the older girl back up and simply hugging her tightly. "We're safe. Nobody's making me hurt you anymore."

Elsa didn't reply; she just hid her face in Anna's shoulder. She shoved the what were to her stupid scared feelings away and focused directly on the shooting pain in her bad leg. Almost instantly Elsa felt a soothing coolness all over her; her magic already knew there was something wrong inside her and tried its best to mend that the best it knew how. Somehow the involuntary reaction from her magic didn't scare Elsa; it calmed her and made the physical pain fade to a dull cramping ache. _I wonder how my powers did that…I didn't do that on purpose, but it didn't feel like I was out of control, either. All I did was…wait a minute…_ She grinned and pulled away from Anna. "All I did was concentrate directly on the pain, and my magic made it go away. Well, mostly," she told Anna. _I should go in the cave like Anna wanted me to. Maybe it would help… I can defend us. And my powers are a bit more…alive, somehow. They're trying to help me even when I don't know how to help myself._ Elsa's expression suddenly grew determined as she added, "You know what, let's go inside that cave. I can do that."

* * *

Anna clutched Elsa's hand tightly as the two of them walked into the dark cave, as much for her own benefit as her sister's. She glanced at Elsa to make sure she was still ok and immediately felt much better. Anna could tell Elsa's limp was more pronounced than usual, which she knew meant her sister's leg was probably still a bit sore; but other than that Elsa seemed fine. She wasn't smiling, but her "queen countenance" was back and she somehow held herself in a more confident manner than she had been before. _Elsa's powers did this. They_ helped _her, far more than I or herself could._

Elsa held a dim blue glow from her magic in her free hand so she and Anna could see. She spotted the small cage-room where she had been trapped before and involuntarily shuddered before letting go of Anna's hand. "I think I'll just get rid of that horrid thing," she announced. Ice tinged red and purple encased the metal, and Elsa balled one hand into a fist and just stared at the cage-room. Sparks of ice magic tinged yellow crackled around the bars. Tears trickled down the ice mage's cheeks as she released control on the glow in her other hand and focused on destroying something that had hurt both her and Anna. _I can tear up that awful cage-room thing. That won't hurt anyone._

Anna just watched in fascinated horror as Elsa twisted those metal bars with her ice until they were nothing but a heap of grotesque junk. Something told her that something wasn't quite right-it wasn't like Elsa to tear things up like that. Elsa was crying, but she also looked angry.

She looked like she _wanted_ to tear something up.

"Elsa…you busted it. It's ok now," Anna said quietly, gently laying a hand on Elsa's tense shoulder. What Elsa was doing unnerved Anna. Yes, she was merely destroying something that had hurt her, but this wasn't like when Elsa had instantly shattered those horrid shackles that had been in the castle dungeon. Right now Elsa was taking her time, probably channeling everything she had felt when she'd been trapped here. _Elsa has the right to let out her feelings how she chooses, though. Tearing up the thing Jade used to lock her up isn't going to hurt anything. It's just…I had something to do with that. I hurt her. I couldn't help her, either. I literally shot her._

 _I made Elsa cry._

Anna backed further into the cave and let her sister be.

* * *

Seconds later, Elsa realized all her anger and fright had disappeared, along with the remains of the cage-room. Only tiny shards of metal remained, embedded in ice that was now only tinted purple. The reds and yellows had faded, leaving only the sad and hurt purple behind. Elsa scowled, wishing her emotions weren't literally written all over the ice in front of her. _It's okay. I'll dissolve it before we leave and no one will know except Anna and me. It's okay._ She took a deep breath and remade her makeshift lantern. "Anna? Where are you? I'm done venting now," she deadpanned. Elsa heard muffled crying and instantly knew it had to be her little sister. "I'm coming, Anna," Elsa called.

Anna sensed Elsa standing near her. "Go away, Elsa. I hurt you," she said flatly.

Elsa flinched but didn't budge. _Anna, please don't say that…_ "No. You didn't leave me for all those years when I shut you out. I'll not leave you now. _You_ didn't hurt me. Jade did," she said firmly. Elsa gasped when she spotted a pair of glowing eyes several feet away. "Um, Anna…don't move. Stay still and don't move," she hissed under her breath. _What is that? There's an animal in here._

"Elsa, what are you-" Anna started. "Wait a second, that's a wolf, and we gotta get out of here, and…yeah! Come on, Elsa!"

The wolf growled. Elsa mentally facepalmed at Anna's outburst and stepped protectively in front of Anna, holding her hands in a defensive position in front of her. _Wait…that's not just any wolf, I don't think…_ Elsa recognized those eyes. This wolf was far bigger than the pup Elsa had found months before, but it still had blue eyes. Those eyes should have turned yellow or amber by now, right? "You're Drífa," Elsa whispered. _She's a mostly grown up wild animal now. She doesn't remember me. I have to get Anna and myself out of here._ Elsa frowned, tilting her head to one side as she watched the big wolf. Was Drífa hurt? She looked frightened to Elsa, like she was afraid the girl would hurt her. "Anna, leave the cave and go stay with Linnae. She'll protect you," Elsa said quietly. "I'll be right there." _I'll not risk Drífa hurting Anna, but I have to find out what's wrong. Why's a wolf in here by itself?_

Elsa hesitantly backed up a step when the wolf came toward her. She heard a clattering sound, like something was dragging, and bit her lip when she realized just what it was coming from. There was a trap…part of one anyways, locked around one of the wolf's front legs. "Will you let me help you, Drífa?" Elsa asked softly. Keeping her eyes half averted so she wouldn't scare the injured animal, Elsa carefully sat down on the ground so she would look less threatening to Drífa. _If Drífa tries to hurt me, I'll just make an ice bubble. I have to at least try to help her._ Elsa smiled a bit when she felt a wet nose nudge her hand a minute later. "Now let's get that horrid thing off you," she whispered. Seconds later the now-icy remains of the trap lay on the rocky ground, and Drífa whimpered in pain but didn't back away. "You remember me," Elsa said quietly. "You _remember_ me!"

The wolf did indeed recognize Elsa. This human was the one who had taken her to the big structure near the water and voluntarily let her go free. Drífa recognized both Elsa's voice and the icy things she did with her hands that nobody else could do. And she smelled familiar too. Drífa did not want to go to the girl's home, but she did know that this person would help her. So she inched closer and put her head on Elsa's lap. _Help. Need help. I trust you,_ the wolf's gaze seemed to say.

Elsa wasn't sure what to do; she'd sealed the wound on Drífa's leg with ice (again), but she knew that wasn't enough. _If I could just bring Rapunzel here to heal Drífa…_ Elsa thought for a moment before simply creating a makeshift ice sled underneath the injured wolf. There was no way she could carry Drífa out of the cave, let alone all the way home-the wolf had grown and she was now far too big. "I'll help you, but you have to trust me. Don't attack other humans, please. Nobody's going to hurt you again," she said quietly. Suddenly Elsa smiled and closed her eyes to send a message to Linnae. _Linnae, go back to the castle and bring Rapunzel to me, please,_ she instructed. _Take Anna with you so she'll be safe._

 _I think Anna is a bit scared to be with me alone,_ Linnae replied instantly. _I am waiting for you. You need to tell Anna, not me._

 _Okay,_ Elsa answered. _I have an injured wolf. You can talk to Rapunzel yourself like you do me. Please go get her. Anna and I will stay here._

 _Very well._ Linnae 'sounded' rather put out, but Elsa trusted her dragon to listen to her all the same.

* * *

Anna still looked upset as Elsa emerged from the cave, and she did a double take at the sight of a rather large wolf lying on an ice-sled behind Elsa. "Elsa, what's going on?" she asked, trying to force a smile. _That's that same silly wolf Elsa brought home last winter. And it's hurt again, too…_

Elsa did not fall for that; she gently touched Drífa's head to calm her down and then plopped down next to her sister. "Don't try that with me, Anna," she said softly. "I know you're still upset. This is what I meant when I told you that you care too much about me. I won't have you feeling guilty over something you couldn't control. You…you always tell _me_ not to do that." Elsa paused for a moment before asking, "Is it okay to hug you?" _Sometimes I don't want a hug when I'm upset and sometimes I do…maybe Anna's the same?_ When Anna nodded, Elsa simply put her arms around her little sister and hugged her tightly. _I don't know what to say to help Anna, though. I wish I wasn't so…stupid._

"I feel like…like, I don't know…like all I've done recently is hurt you more," Anna blurted after a moment. "Every time you've gotten injured. This time I made you hurt inside instead. It's not _fair!_ Even that…" She pointed at her sister's braced leg and continued, "You were just trying to rescue me, and now you can't even walk normally. Wait…I'm sorry, Elsa-I know I promised I wouldn't talk about your leg anymore…" _She said she wanted to be treated the same as always…just plain Elsa._

Elsa smiled a bit at that. "It's okay, Anna. You do remember that incident was an _accident_ , right? And _you_ have not hurt me recently at all. I've been hurt because of other things, but not you. You've taken care of me; you've helped me feel better. You know how if you skin your knee, a scab forms fairly quickly, even though it's still sore underneath? That's what's in here," Elsa said quietly, holding her hands to her heart. "As long as the healed part doesn't get torn off too soon, everything's fine." After a moment, she hesitantly added, "Telling me I can't walk normally and that it's…not fair _does_ hurt. I'm not…inferior because of that. My bad leg doesn't risk me hurting anyone. My powers do that. You don't mind my magic. Why's it okay that I have something different about me that basically gives me a superpower and it's not okay that I also have something different about me that takes away being able to do something simple like walking properly?" A pessimistic thought flitted through Elsa's mind, _Anna was awfully excited that I was trying to heal my leg…what if I can't-I_ know _I can't entirely-and she doesn't like me anymore?_

Anna felt better because of the first part of Elsa's reply, but Elsa's last question made her squirm. Elsa did have a point. It was just…Anna had seen her big sister struggle to do certain things for quite a while now. Elsa never said a word about it; she would just sigh and figure out something different. She had gotten visibly frustrated with herself for having trouble with the stairs, but that was it. _The worst part was seeing her crumpled on the ground in that cave. She was hurting and she couldn't stand up. That's what it is. I don't want something like that to happen to poor Elsa again._ "I don't like seeing you scared if you don't have that brace," Anna said finally.

"I'm better about that now, Anna," Elsa replied softly. She quickly took her brace off and tossed it several feet away out of reach. "See? I think not so long ago I would have freaked out if I did that." Elsa lay down in the snow and just smiled as she stared up at the clouds. "You know…I think maybe it was actually a _good_ thing I hurt my leg. I've learned a lot of information about my magic I wouldn't have found otherwise if I hadn't been looking for a way to heal it."

Anna frowned as she scrambled to her feet and brought Elsa's brace back over to her. "Y'know, that ol' Grand Pabbie said you'd always have a weak leg. Either he lied or it's impossible to heal it," she said in puzzlement. "Maybe Pabbie just wanted you to experiment with your magic or something since you're supposed to become an ice master superhero or something."

"Look who's the pessimist now," Elsa teased good-naturedly. "Anna, I _will be fine_ even if my leg never gets better. I'm still me, although if that's good or bad I don't know. I just mean…I don't know. It would make me really, really happy if you could just…accept stupid me, messed up leg included." _I sound ridiculous. What right do I have to ask that of her? I_ am _messed up, but not because of my leg…I'm just…_ Elsa suddenly found herself half-trembling as she lay on her side in the snow. What if she had hurt Anna by saying that? Anna was sensitive; Elsa knew that for a fact.

' _Just stop it, Elsa. You can't hold my hand when you're all hurt like that.'_ Anna blinked back tears, remembering seeing Elsa lying helpless in the snow after their father had rescued them from that cave. And how, on the way home, Elsa had clearly wanted to hold Anna's hand, but rather than helping her somehow, Anna had simply told her to stop it. _All she wanted was reassurance of some kind, and I didn't give it to her. Well, I can give it to her now._ Anna gently scooped Elsa up and just held her close, ignoring the snowflakes floating around her. "I _do_ accept you, Elsa. I just don't like seeing you hurt, that's all." _'Accepting' Elsa means also accepting that she is hurt, though; and not thinking all that hurt, inside and out,_ has _to disappear to mean she's all right. That's what Elsa meant. She just didn't quite know how to say that. It's unreasonable to expect her to be 'all better' instantly, if ever._ "Can I still try to make the inside hurt go away?" she asked gently.

Elsa nodded and gave Anna a lopsided smile. "I think the ice palace trip got interrupted. Again." _I still want to go up to my ice palace, though…it makes me happy. And…_ Elsa abruptly pulled away from her little sister and gave her a stern look. "I've made a decision. I will not be taking any 'temporary break'. Not when you're still a bit upset yourself. It's _my_ job to take care of paperwork and the like, and I'm not going to stick you with it. What I will do, however, is set aside a good portion of time every day to deal with…well, me. _That_ is what I will do temporarily."

"But Elsa, I'm fine. You need help loads more than I do. All I gotta do to feel like regular me again is concentrate on present-you instead of the you trapped in there," Anna muttered, gesturing to the cave behind them. "Elsa, I _want_ to help, but only if you want me to. Don't worry about me, ok? I'm fine, and I really, really mean it. I'm not just saying that to make you not worry. Telling you about how that whole mess had made me feel helped lots. By the way, I can't imagine holding negative feelings in for years on end-a few weeks was horrible enough! How did you even _do_ that?!"

Elsa scowled, but then she just started giggling and couldn't stop. "Because, dear little sister of mine, you generally let your feelings out all over the place, whether it's a good thing or not. I think it's just simply _you_. I'm no good at explaining emotions at all, but maybe it's 'cause non-upset, non-hurt you naturally relies on emotions to make decisions; and non-upset, non-hurt me naturally relies on logic. Maybe when we're hurt or upset, those tendencies get messed up," she suggested. _That would make sense with what Gerda told me, too._ Elsa's expression grew serious as she went on, "Anna, I never grew up properly. Eight-year-olds don't handle emotions that well anyway…I think little Elsa just grabbed at whatever helped her cope at that moment, and that happened to be 'conceal, don't feel'. That is _wrong_ , Anna, and you told me so. There is no excuse for you to start trying to do what little Elsa did. So don't."

"I didn't want to tell anyone 'cause it was stupid! You were the one hurting, and you needed help. I couldn't tell you how I was feeling when you were injured like that, Elsa. How would that have helped?!" Anna protested.

"Then you should have told someone else, Anna. You could have told Gerda. She wouldn't have told anyone if you told her not to. And evidently I was _not_ the only one hurting. Just because you perhaps weren't hurting _as bad_ inside as I was doesn't make your issues unimportant. Don't you dare do something like this again and not say anything because of me," Elsa said firmly, although her stern tone didn't match the reassuring hug she gave Anna. _Anna is crazy. I know she was just concentrating on trying to help me, but that's not fair to her._

Anna thought Elsa was being ridiculous, but she did not say so. She just hugged Elsa back. "Thanks for just being…you, Elsa. I'm glad you're my sister."

 **A/N: I think the next chapter will be the last one.:)**

 **Yes, Elsa found Drífa again, and yes, the wolf recognized her. I don't know if a baby wolf helped by a human would recognize him or her after being released in real life, but I don't think the wolf would as readily accept help at the very least. That's why Drífa was still hesitant to let Elsa near even though Drífa knew who Elsa was. Anyways...**

 **I realize that in general Anna doesn't get as upset over things as easily as Elsa does, but I figured even Miss Eternal Optimist Anna would be affected at least some. I thought Anna would probably push her own upset feelings aside and focus on helping Elsa instead. And since I'm usually writing from Elsa's POV, albeit in third person, Anna's feelings didn't really show up as much until recently. If there are ANY comments about Anna's reactions (or Elsa's), positive or negative, I would be very, very happy to read them.:)**

 **Next chapter coming soon!:)**

 **P.S. (Again) I am sorry there is no new chapter on No Escape yet...I have no excuse. My classes have started up again, and I haven't been in the mood to write as much recently...most of the time writing my stories makes me feel better, but sometimes it just makes me upset and the last couple weeks have been like that. Writing Ingrid's story, which hasn't got a happy ending, doesn't help. At least Elsa gets a happy ending, even if she ends up going through a lot along the way.:P I'm sorry for the delay.**

 **In any event, PLEASE don't think I'm not writing anymore! That's definitely not the case.:) After this story is over, the ongoing saga of Elsa and her family and friends in Arendelle shall continue. (I already have an idea and everything.:))**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing.:)**

 **Olivia O'Neil-I'm glad you like it!:) And thank you for reading my other stories.:P I think my Frozen story-verse has gotten a little complicated...if anything didn't make sense, please feel free to PM me and ask. I'll explain as best I can.:) Hmm, that's a nice idea, but I'd have to really think about just how to do it. It would have to be before Rapunzel discovered that she can indeed still use her magic even without her hair. If I do write a story like that eventually, I will be sure to give you credit.:) I just don't want to promise anything right this second.:P**

 **AvatarxFrozen-Thank you.:) I'm glad that you're glad that Elsa decided to adopt Anikka.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-I'm glad you liked it.:) I just thought since Elsa's magic is directly connected with her emotions, it will physically feel different inside her with different emotions, too. I think Elsa would make a very good mother, too.:) Well, technically Berk from HTTYD is Arendelle's ancestor, so...yeah.:P (I know HTTYD and Frozen aren't even from the same company, but in my mind, Berk IS Arendelle...just hundreds and hundreds of years before.:P) Linnae can read Elsa's thought IF Elsa deliberately "sends" Linnae a message. Elsa just figured out how after Pabbie told her that it was possible for her to do so.:) Yep, Rapunzel will heal Drífa. I just thought Elsa should get to see the wolf again.:)**

 **raven678-Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.:) And yeah, that's true...nothing bad happened for once.:P**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you!:)**

 **On to the story! (I'm sorry this chapter is so long.:P And I'll say ahead of time that they don't make it to the ice palace yet. I thought it was going to be in this chapter, but it got way, way too long.:/)**

When Linnae arrived back with Rapunzel, Drífa immediately began growling and showing her teeth. Linnae huffed at the wolf and sent an accusatory look at Elsa. _That wolf does not like me._

"Yes, she will," Elsa replied verbally. "I made you, Linnae. So Drífa won't mind you, either." She turned to Rapunzel and gave her cousin a lopsided smile. "I guess Linnae was able to 'tell' you what was going on?"

"Yeah. It was a little…unnerving to say the least, but I understood your dragon, Elsa," Rapunzel told her. "Linnae also said you had figured out how to reply back telepathically, which I think is pretty cool." She hesitantly knelt next to the agitated wolf but didn't try to touch her. "Elsa…I don't think the wolf's gonna let me touch it…"

"Drífa will too let you. Just fix her leg…please. I don't think she likes being around us humans very much." Elsa gently petted the wolf's head while Rapunzel healed its leg. "We'll let you go in a minute-I promise," Elsa whispered. "We just want to help you."

Drífa blinked at the girl, her piercing blue eyes just staring at Elsa. The wolf was still tense all over, ready to run at any moment, but she did not try to bite. She suddenly sensed that her wounded leg was all better, and she suddenly jumped to her feet; then abruptly jumped on Elsa, knocking her over, tail wagging excitedly.

Elsa panicked for a moment, scared that the wolf was trying to attack her; but a second later she realized that Drífa had simply jumped on her like an ordinary pet dog might do…only this dog was large and wild and didn't like people in general. Elsa smiled as she reached up to pet Drífa again, but the wolf backed up.

Elsa instantly jerked her hand back.

Drífa stepped toward Elsa, sensing she was a bit frightened. In a split second, the wolf licked Elsa's cheek and bounded several feet away before turning back to see Elsa. _Thank you._

"You're welcome, Drífa," Elsa called. Unlike her dragon, Elsa most definitely could not read Drífa's thoughts, but she did sense that the wolf was trying to thank her. Not because of her magic…because she'd been able to see that Drífa had been hurt and frightened and gotten someone to help her. Elsa still wished she had been able to keep Drífa, but she knew the snow wolf wouldn't have been happy at the castle. She belonged out here, wild and free. Elsa was both delighted and disappointed that mostly-grown-up Drífa hadn't allowed Elsa to really pet her after her leg was healed. _It would be bad if she let me. Not being wary of humans would be bad for a wolf. That's a good thing that she wouldn't let me pet her._

Anna gave Elsa a reassuring hug when she noticed her sister biting her lip and trying not to cry. "You've got your cat Kolfinnia at home, sis," she reminded Elsa gently. "Let's go home. We can go to the ice palace tomorrow."

* * *

Anikka greeted Elsa excitedly the second they arrived back home to the castle. "Looky, Elsa! I c'n curtsy," she said proudly. "Punzie showed me. An' Kiara say she want t' talk sumthin' im-por-tant with Elsa."

"That's very nice, Anikka. Looks like Rapunzel taught you perfectly," Elsa replied, smiling. _I think I'm glad I decided to adopt little Anikka. I don't understand why, but she genuinely wants to stay with me. I can't take yet another person she cares about away from her._

Anikka grabbed Elsa's hand and took off, trying to yank the older girl along behind her. She stopped in her tracks when she heard Elsa's surprised yelp and something crashing to the floor. Anikka's brown eyes grew big when she saw the mess she'd caused. "Sorry, Elsa, I sorry!"

"Good grief, Miss Elsa, are you all right?" Kai asked, running over from where he had been standing on the other side of the entry hall. He had been babysitting Anikka while Rapunzel was gone since Gerda happened to be busy.

Elsa sighed as she slowly sat up and stared at the expensive vase she had just knocked on the floor, her cheeks pink in embarrassment. "Everything but my pride," she muttered. _Mom and Dad are going to be really mad when they find out I broke that._ "Anikka, I _told_ you I couldn't run. Why did you try to take off and yank me along like that?"

"I forgot," Anikka replied in a small voice, scuffing one foot back and forth on the floor. "Elsa mad? I say sorry."

 _She_ forgot _. Great. Not._ A bit of Elsa wanted to say something smart-alecky, that she had an obvious brace on her weak leg that kept her from running, but she just took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. "No, I'm not mad. Just embarrassed," she said finally. Elsa realized that was the truth. She really wasn't mad at the little girl. "But my parents are going to be mad when they find out I broke an expensive vase."

"Just don't mention it, Miss Elsa. They may not even miss it," Kai said, quickly cleaning up the broken pieces of the vase. "Also you know they cannot punish you in any event."

Elsa sighed and let Anna help her to her feet. "Yes, they can. Not like you are thinking, Kai, but they can. They can just…treat me differently again…and…and that hurts," she said softly. "Because I'm…not made right."

"Miss Elsa, send your friends out for a moment, please," Kai said as firmly as he dared. Although he did respect Elsa-she _was_ still the queen after all-there were also things he just wouldn't put up with from her, like picking on herself. The second Anna, Rapunzel, and Anikka were gone, Kai gently put his hands on Elsa's shoulders and just looked her right in the eyes. "You are made perfectly just like you are, Queen Elsa," Kai told her sternly. "I do not care if your parents are the former monarchs of this country of not; what they did to you is inexcusable. If they still treat you unfairly now, I would appreciate it if you actually did something about it. What have they told you that you still think of yourself as 'not made right'?"

"Nothing. They…they…Mom treats me like I'm made of glass," Elsa whispered. "And Papa fusses at me about things I don't know how to fix. I _know_ I'm still fragile inside; I'm grateful they care about me, but…but I just…I just want…" _I just want to be a normal daughter. To be loved and taken care of and yet still get in trouble for things I really genuinely do wrong, without being made to feel stupid and messed up and broken and inadequate._

 _Elsa, what if it's you? What if you're the problem, not them? That is the case, you know. You always cause problems._

"Perhaps you should tell them that, plus whatever you are thinking that you couldn't say," Kai told her.

"It won't help. If I can't explain it to you, how can I tell them?" Elsa asked quietly. _That sounds stupid, Elsa. Get it together. You thought your daddy didn't like or care about you at all for ages. Isn't knowing that he does enough?_

"You won't know if it will help or not unless you try."

 _Yes, I do. I already know. Trying to explain things never works for me because I just plain don't know how to do so._ "Kai, it's…it's not just about my powers or my leg or something. It's…I don't have any idea how to explain it. I don't even know if it makes sense even to me. All I know is that _something's_ not right. And when something's not right, it's usually because of me." Elsa bit her lip, just thinking hard about the whole thing. _I always cause or get into trouble…_

"That is completely wrong, Miss Elsa, and you know it. Your father is, pardon me, a complete idiot sometimes. He doesn't know how to deal with you, and neither does your mother. But I sincerely believe they do love you. They don't know how to show it without fussing over you or at you. Do you remember anything from when you and the princess were brought back from that cave? Anything at all?" Kai asked.

Elsa frowned, wondering why Kai would ask her such a thing. "Why? Did something happen that I don't know about?" she asked hesitantly.

"Just please answer the question and then I shall tell you. Unless you order me otherwise."

 _I don't want to talk about this…_ "Well…I sort of remember Gerda holding me on the way home. I was s-scared and…and I…I thought Anna didn't want anything t-to do with me." Elsa paused, trying to blink back tears. "I…I _think_ Papa carried me inside. I just have memories of distorted voices and blurry shapes hovering over me. I can't remember anything else clearly…just that everything hurt really, really bad a-and that I felt…terrified."

Kai wasn't sure whether it was appropriate or not, but he gently gave Elsa a hug, realizing she was shaking again. _Maybe I shouldn't have asked her about this…_ "Well, your father told me later, after you'd been tended to, that seeing you like that was the worst thing he had felt in his life. I think he partly blames himself for what happened. Miss Elsa, if you try to talk to him, I really think he will listen now. He's nearly lost you twice in the several months your parents have been back in Arendelle; he doesn't want to lose you for real. He does love you, Miss Elsa, even if he doesn't act like it. He locks up his feelings like you do. Like father, like daughter, I suppose." Kai paused before continuing, "Miss Elsa, may I have permission to say one other thing?"

Elsa nodded and didn't say anything, her hands balled up nervously clutching her skirt. _I feel scared and I'm not leaking ice or snowflakes at all,_ she thought proudly.

"I know you think your parents wish you weren't so-called 'different', and that may very well be true. They may feel guilty about mistreating you when you were younger and therefore fuss over you now to make themselves feel better. But they _do_ genuinely care about you, Miss Elsa. Please at least try to talk to them. You're still an enigma to them." Kai smiled at the girl and gently pushed her toward the stairs. "They're upstairs in their room."

Elsa paused at the foot of the stairs and just said a simple, "Thank you." _I hope Kai is right. It's just…I'm_ terrible _at explaining things like this. Absolutely terrible._

"At your service, my queen," Kai replied.

* * *

Elsa bit her lip as she knocked lightly on her parents' door a few minutes later. _I have to try._ "Mama? Papa? It's me, Elsa," she called.

"Is something wrong, sweetie?" Idun asked the second she let Elsa in. _She looks worried. What happened this time?_

"Not…not exactly," Elsa said hesitantly. "I…I just wanted to…t-to try to…explain something. And…and ask if y-you could…" _You're doing a wonderful job, Elsa. Not. Quit pausing and stuttering. What is wrong with you?_ Elsa closed her eyes and finally just blurted, "I'm awful at explaining myself, so I don't know if this makes any sense."

Agdar frowned. "Get to the point, Elsa. You are quite right. This does not make any sense." _Why did I say that? That isn't something Elsa needs to hear._

"Agdar, stop it. Don't talk to her like that," Idun said firmly. "She doesn't know how to explain whatever it is she wants to say. Give Elsa a chance." She turned back to her daughter and smiled. "Try again, Elsa. It's all right."

"I…I fell and broke a vase downstairs." _That's not what I wanted to say. Why did I say that?!_ Elsa clasped her hands behind her back, much like she did when she was little.

Idun simply gave Elsa a hug. "Well, you seem fine, so don't worry about it," she said, just as Agdar said, "That is _not_ what you came up here to tell us, Elsa."

Agdar pulled Elsa aside and just stared her in the face. "Elsa, I don't know what's wrong with you, but you can just tell us. We are _not_ going to hurt you again. I promise." _She's radiating cold air. She must be scared._

"This…this hurts, Papa," Elsa whispered, dropping her gaze to the floor as tears trickled down her cheeks. "Way less than before, but…I…I still feel like I'm…not good enough. Mama…she…she fusses over me so much I feel like she just feels…sorry for me and that's it. Like I'm this…this helpless little baby that just needs pity. And I know I _do_ feel like that sometimes, but…I don't know. And Papa, you fuss at me about things I can't fix. I just don't know _how_. I…I guess I just wish you could treat me like a…a normal daughter, even though I'm just…not. But I _know_ you're trying and that you do care about me." Elsa felt like she wanted to disappear through the floor. What right did she have to ask that of her parents? She _wasn't_ normal-at least not by general society's definition of the word-and she never would be. How then, could her parents treat her like a 'normal daughter' even if they wanted to?

Agdar awkwardly hugged Elsa close, despite the fact the girl was freezing. Not so cold that she was too cold to touch, but cold all the same. "I know it was hard for you to tell us that, Elsa," he said quietly. "Our family most definitely is not normal, but that doesn't mean we can't try to treat you like you need to be treated. It sounds like you need something in between your mother's and my actions. Am I right?"

Elsa immediately nodded. "Not treating me differently because of my magic or my leg, too," she said softly. "I think you're still…scared of me. That hurts."

 _But those things make Elsa a target. She's my daughter. I don't want to give people an excuse to hurt her._ Agdar's expression remained unchanged as he tried to think of what to say. Even simply looking at Elsa would tell anyone that she was different. Especially when she went about wearing sparkling ice-dresses. Sure, lots of people had light skin and hair, but Agdar had never seen anyone in his life with the same hair color Elsa had. Elsa most definitely did not look like someone who would turn twenty-two in a few months. And Agdar hated seeing Elsa's limp when she walked. "Elsa, for what it's worth, I am far more scared of losing you than the fact that your powers are potentially dangerous," he said finally, hoping that would be enough to make Elsa feel better. _I will not lie to her._

"You…y-you wouldn't be relieved t-to get rid of m-me?" Elsa's expression crumpled as she tried her best not to cry. _Elsa, he's just talking, trying to make you feel better. He doesn't want you. Remember the cave? Your daddy just rescued you because he needed you to help Anna. You're nothing._

 _That's not true! I'm not nothing!_

Agdar nearly dropped Elsa as she suddenly collapsed. "Elsa, what is wrong with you?!" he scolded. "You were fine a moment ago!" He carefully laid Elsa down on the bed and then touched her forehead, thinking perhaps she was sick again. "Well, I don't think you're sick. Elsa, speak up. What do we need to do to help you?" _Snapping at her isn't going to help._

* * *

Idun noticed the way Elsa was reaching for her bad leg and frowned. "It's her leg, Agdar. It's hurting her. Elsa, do you have any idea what happened, sweetie?" She gestured for Agdar to leave and simply nodded when he warned her not to start overly fussing over Elsa. "I won't," she promised. Idun turned back to Elsa and just sat down next to her. "Elsa, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," she said, gently stroking Elsa's hair. _What am I supposed to do for her? I don't want her to think I just feel sorry for her and that's it._ Idun did a double take when Elsa just smiled up at her a second later. _Elsa's fine now…? What happened?_

Elsa shook her head ruefully as she sat up, knowing her mother probably wanted an explanation. "Since I've started trying to fix my leg with my magic, it starts acting up when I get upset," she explained as she took her brace off and began rubbing her aching leg, trying to get it to stop cramping up on her. "Because my powers are connected with my emotions, I guess. The good thing is that once I directly concentrate on the physical pain, my magic somehow automatically tries to make it better. Like it just aches a lot now." Elsa didn't like her mother's worried and upset expression, so she hesitantly reached for her mother's hands and tried to stand up, remembering how she could in fact stand up on her own…she was just really wobbly and she couldn't put any weight on her left leg. "Mama, I'm okay. See?"

"Oh, Elsa, don't try to do that right now; I know you can't," Idun said quickly, simply hugging Elsa tightly. "I just want you to feel better and not be in pain anymore."

Elsa grabbed the bedpost and pushed her mother away with her other hand. "No, Mama, I can. Just…just give me a second." She bit her lip as she hesitantly let go of the bedpost. "See, I can stand by myself, even if I can't walk on my own yet," she said softly. _Wait a minute…I really can! Standing by myself wasn't a one-time thing,_ Elsa thought, surprised at herself for being surprised.

Idun just impulsively gave Elsa another hug. "That was a wonderful surprise, sweetie. And I promise I'll try not to fuss over you so much. I think…I think I've just been trying to replace all those years when I didn't treat you right. But you're twenty-one, not three. Even if you _are_ still my little girl whether you like it or not."

"Mama…Anna and I are going to my ice palace tomorrow," Elsa said hesitantly. "Would…would you a-and Papa like to come?"

* * *

"Elsa, what are you gonna do with my stupid brother?" Kiara asked at dinner that evening.

Elsa kept her eyes on her plate and didn't reply for a minute. _What if my parents don't like whatever I decide? And what exactly would be fair and logical anyway? Gerda told me I have to be logical when I'm making important decisions._ "I haven't decided yet," she said finally. "All I know is that I can't let him and Espen go and I won't execute either of them either."

"Well, you need to make a decision soon, Elsa," Agdar said firmly. "If you would like to discuss possibilities, I shall be happy to help if you like."

Elsa forced a smile but didn't answer that. "I…I have some good news," she said, pushing her chair away from the table and taking little Anikka by the hand as the two of them stood up. "I've decided Anikka may stay here permanently. I'm going to adopt her. Gerda said she would help me care for her if need be." She bent to Anikka's height and whispered, "Go give my parents a curtsy. Please. Just like Rapunzel showed you earlier."

Anikka nodded and obediently ran over to Elsa's parents. "Thank 'ou for havin' me here," she announced as she dropped the best curtsy her five-year-old self could manage. Anikka turned to face Elsa, a big smile spread across her face. "I Princess Anikka now?"

Agdar gave Elsa a confused and rather stern look and just stood up. "Elsa, may I speak with you in the hall, please?" he asked. _What on earth is Elsa thinking?! Although I don't know why I'm surprised…I know Elsa loves that little girl very much._

Anikka looked up at Elsa worriedly, but Elsa just hugged her and gave her a reassuring smile. "It's okay, Anikka. You didn't do anything wrong," she said quietly. _Papa, please don't be mad. I want Anikka to stay here. I can handle it since Gerda said she would help me._

"Papa, I can handle it. She's five, not a baby," Elsa said the second she and her father were out in the hall. "Gerda said she would help me, too."

"Elsa, you are the _queen_! You can't just randomly decide to adopt a commoner orphan, for one thing. Two, you know your mother and I are moving to Weselton in a couple weeks. You granted us the duchy, remember? So who is going to babysit that little girl when Gerda helps you with your therapy? Anna and that Kristoff character I haven't seen around here recently? Your snowman? Elsa, I think you have too much to handle as it is. You don't need another permanent burden on you." Agdar paused, noticing that while Elsa's expression appeared impassive, her blue eyes were bright with unshed tears. "Do you need a hug again?" he asked awkwardly.

Elsa shook her head, knowing her father didn't like hugs very much. _I do want a hug, but I'm not going to make Papa uncomfortable._ "Since I am the queen, then I have the right to help someone who needs it. And I don't know and Kristoff is off ice harvesting like he does all the time. And Olaf is probably at my ice palace." Elsa's expression suddenly brightened as a simple solution popped into her head. "Papa, I know exactly what to do! Unpaid servitude for a specified time for Hans and Espen!" she exclaimed. "Then I wouldn't be putting so much work on poor Gerda and Kai. They're the only other two people I'd trust with Anikka. Espen and Hans could do the less important things, like cleaning and cooking and the like. Then all Gerda has to do is help stupid me and help take care of Anikka."

Agdar gave Elsa a proud smile. "That's my good girl," he said, rumpling Elsa's hair affectionately…which Elsa decided she really, really did not like. Elsa remembered wishing her daddy would do that to her when she was little and she'd seen him do it to Anna. Now she knew why that had annoyed her little sister. All the same, Elsa hesitantly gave her father a hug. Agdar closed his eyes, annoyed with himself for feeling like crying. _Agdar, what is wrong with you? Elsa is happy. The girl isn't frightened of touching things with her bare hands anymore. She may be messed up physically, but her heart and mind are healing. She is better._ He could clearly remember Elsa lying helpless in the infirmary shortly after she'd been brought home. The worst part hadn't been seeing her injured like that; it was the way she just looked so sad. Something he wouldn't have even noticed as much if Elsa's blue eyes hadn't lit up when she realized her daddy was willing to take care of her. _That_ he noticed. Because Elsa's eyes rarely did that around him. In fact, he wasn't sure if he had ever really, truly seen Elsa do that before, and most definitely not because of something he had done to make her happy. Even before Elsa had been tended to and fully regained consciousness, she'd just seemed…lost. The girl had been mostly out of it when her burns and the like were taken care of, but she'd been crying nonstop, although she didn't resist being cared for…probably because she hadn't been coherent enough to do so. _She's fine now,_ Agdar reminded himself.

* * *

Elsa sensed her father was upset, and instantly pulled away, glancing around to see if she had lost control or something. "Papa, what's wrong? Did I mess up?" _No, you didn't, Elsa. Don't be stupid. You can_ see _you didn't make a mistake. No ice or snow, you idiot._

 _I am not an idiot._

 _Thinking you've messed up when you know you haven't is idiotic._

"No, Elsa, you did not," Agdar said flatly. "I was merely…remembering something. Elsa, don't you dare get yourself in trouble like you did at that cave again! I actually thought we might lose you…" His expression remained impassive, but he couldn't help thinking about how awful it would be to lose Elsa. For the longest time, he had considered her a burden on the family, something dangerous that needed to be kept away from others, despite the fact that he knew she was smart and thought she had the capability to be a great queen eventually. After nearly losing Elsa when she had fallen ill around Christmas, he had realized that Elsa meant more to him than he knew. She was his daughter too, just like Anna. He _did_ love Elsa just like she was, even if he still wished she were more…normal.

It was not Elsa's fault she had been born with strange supernatural powers over ice and snow and who knew what else. That was no one's fault.

It was not Elsa's fault she had been injured and had to wear a brace on her leg so she could walk, either. That was Hans's, and partly Kiara's, fault from what Agdar had heard about the incident.

And it was not Elsa's fault she had emotional issues that caused all the freaking out and crying and panic attacks. That was his own fault for abusing her all her life. _Wait a second…_ "Elsa, what exactly happened that night when you and Anna were eight and five?" Agdar asked suddenly. _I don't think I've ever heard the whole story from Elsa!_

Elsa flinched at the question; she could feel ice tingling uncomfortably in her fingers, and she clasped her hands together behind her back again. _Why is Papa asking me that now?_ "I…we snuck down to the ballroom to play. Anna had seen the Northern Lights from our window, and she was really excited. We played with my magic…built a snowman, slid about on my ice, made snowy slides. Then…I was m-making snow piles for Anna to jump on…Anna was all happy and excited and being a daredevil like she always did…she was jumping faster and faster and I just c-couldn't keep up…" Elsa could feel her voice cracking and her magic swirling sadly inside her, but she was determined to finish the story. With her gaze locked to the floor, she continued, "I tried t-to tell Anna to slow down, but I guess she couldn't hear m-me 'cause she didn't l-listen. I got s-scared-the snow piles were getting taller and taller and Anna just k-kept jumping…I slipped-the _one_ time I slipped and fell on my ice-and…a-and I hit my head…Anna had jumped again, trusting I'd c-catch her, and…and I tried to make another snow pile t-to catch her, but I…I m-missed. I didn't mean to, Papa…I really, really didn't!" Snowflakes tumbled down around Elsa, and she stumbled backwards, a sheen of ice forming beneath her feet. Tears ran down her cheeks, and she felt herself starting to freak out again. Elsa's chest ached, and she couldn't breathe. _I don't want Papa to see me like this. I have to get out of here._ On instinct, Elsa ducked into the parlor and managed to shut the door before crumpling to the carpet.

 _Elsa, calm down. Calm down, calm down, calm down._

 _My leg hurts again._

 _Well, duh. You freaked out. Get it together._

 _What if Papa doesn't like me anymore after I told him the truth? And my head feels like it's spinning._

 _Okay. Don't throw up. And quit being so stupid!_

 _I'm not stupid! I'm…scared._ Elsa flinched when she thought she heard the door open. _Did someone open the door? Go away. I don't want anyone seeing me like this again. They're s'posed to be gone!_ She half-registered a blanket being wrapped around her and then being picked up.

* * *

"We're fine, Dad. I can take care of this," Anna said a second later. She plopped down in a chair and just cradled Elsa close. "Elsa, he's not mad at you. And I'm proud of you for being able to tell the whole accident in its entirety before getting upset. You couldn't do that before." Anna glanced at her sister's braced leg, wondering if it still hurt Elsa, but she didn't mention it since she knew Elsa could and would fix that on her own. She just held Elsa tightly. _What's it going to take to heal Elsa completely? Is it impossible? I don't even care about her leg anymore. I just want her to be happy and confident again. I want Elsa to be able to look in the mirror and see a confident face smiling back at her. She's better than she used to be, but she still sees herself as far less than she really is._

Elsa sighed as she focused on her magic, knowing she had lost control and that that was why her leg was hurting. "I'm sorry, Anna. I messed up. Again," she muttered in annoyance at herself. "I didn't lock the door, anyways," Elsa added ruefully.

Anna smiled a tiny bit at that comment. "No, you didn't. That's good, at least. Now, I have a job for you. Right this second, name ten words that you think describe you. Most of them have to at least be neutral things, hopefully good ones. Got it?"

Elsa thought for a minute, wondering what to say. Anna had given her leeway to use a few non-complimentary things, but she still didn't know what to say. "Pale," she said finally.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Elsaaaa…that is not what I had in mind and you know it!"

"Okay, okay. I don't know. Magic. Blue." Elsa mulled it over a bit more, trying to think of anything else that described her that wasn't something awful. "Stubborn…caring…pessimistic…um…introverted? Anna, this is hard! I don't know what else to say," Elsa said finally. _I came up with seven, though. That's better than I thought I would do._

"How about artistic, smart, and elegant?" Anna suggested as she helped Elsa to her feet. "You build beautiful ice sculptures; you're really good at math and politics stuff; and you _do_ look elegant whether you think so or not. See, Elsa, you just came up with most of those words by yourself. Even if a couple of them were rather silly. Pale and magic. You're a stinker!"

"Well, I couldn't think of anything else. And I don't think I'm elegant, either." Elsa made a face as she glanced down at herself. "Well, maybe my ice-dress is," she amended. _But I have freckles that make me look like a little kid. And I have to wear that brace on my leg._

"If you're thinking about your brace, that's stupid," Anna commented, as if she were reading Elsa's mind. "Or your freckles, for that matter. Elsa, it's got something to do with the way you carry yourself and the dresses you wear. Mostly just…you, though. You _are_ elegant. Just because you look younger than your age and you walk a little funny doesn't mean anything."

"You just admitted that I walk funny," Elsa teased, giving Anna a lopsided smile. She made a face like she was upset and waited for Anna to try to hug her before dumping snow all over Anna. Then she began giggling and couldn't stop.

"Elsa, don't _do_ that! Cold, cold, cold! And I thought you were really upset!" Anna complained, trying to climb out of the snow pile.

"You should have realized I wasn't really upset since it didn't get freezing cold in here," Elsa said matter-of-factly.

Anna took Elsa by the hands and gave them a squeeze. "I can't decide whether I love it or hate it when you make jokes like that. But I do know it makes me happy when I hear you laugh. And…and I know this sounds really random, but I'm glad I have someone to look up to like you. Sometimes I wish I was more like you," she said earnestly.

Elsa just stared at her little sister in surprise. _Why on earth would Anna want to be like me? Why would she look up to me? I'm still…hurt inside, I can't walk very well, and I mess things up. And I have magical powers that are hard to control._ "I don't understand," Elsa replied finally. Elsa's gaze dropped to the floor as she added nearly inaudibly, "Anna, you should be glad you aren't like me."

"No, sis. See, you're just thinking of negative things, like getting hurt and upset easily. What _I_ see is a girl who's been through way too much bad stuff and yet is still _herself_. Elsa, that playful and confident yet slightly mischievous little girl is still inside you. I know she is. I see her in you every so often. She's just buried underneath a lot of heartache and pain. You're still… _you_ , Elsa. And I think you're a good person to want to be like. Someone who always tries her best and loves and cares for others even when she's hurt. Someone who doesn't get all crazy in the head even after she's been abused and hurt over and over." Anna paused, trying to think just how to explain what she was thinking to her sister. "Elsa, of course I don't want to end up getting panic attacks like you do sometimes and things like that. But I still think you're inspiring somehow. You never give up, even when it seems 'logical' to do so."

"Anna…I _did_ give up," Elsa said softly, fingering the faint scar on her wrist. "Did you forget? If you hadn't saved me…if you hadn't saved me, I wouldn't even _be_ here now."

Anna just gave Elsa a reassuring smile as she gently turned her sister's left hand palm up. "That's a battle scar of sorts, Elsa. You're still here, and I know you don't get…suicidal anymore even when you get upset. So it doesn't matter. Well, I mean, it does matter that you once felt like that, but you're better now. So there."

"That stupid mark still embarrasses me sometimes, even though you can hardly see it," Elsa muttered. She tugged a bit on her sleeve, happy her original ice-dress did indeed cover it up. At least mostly. Elsa's expression suddenly brightened as something else popped into her head. "Anna, we really, truly get to go up to my ice palace tomorrow. For real. And…and I know this sounds completely ridiculous, but…but I made this dress when I built that place. I think that's why I like it so much…it's like…I don't know. I don't think it's the dress that looks the best on me; it's not that it's an ice-dress. It doesn't help if I'm already sad or scared or upset, but if I'm just feeling 'meh' it makes me feel a little better. I'm not making any sense, am I?" _I sound ridiculous. Why_ does _this dress make me feel better sometimes?_

"Actually, I think it makes a lot of sense. Elsa, you feel-and just _look_ -more like you in that dress. You made it when you were trying to say you wanted to be just plain _you_ for the first time in ages…maybe ever. Of course it makes you feel better sometimes. Not to mention you really do look pretty in it. Maybe you know that subconsciously or something. Although I have absolutely no idea what you were thinking when you made high heel shoes made of ice," Anna teased.

Elsa grinned and stuck out one foot for Anna to see. "I am not either wearing high heeled shoes made of ice, thank you very much," she quipped.

"Only 'cause you can't walk in them anymore! I don't understand how you could literally run in them before. I think you're crazy…hey, wait a second. Elsa, do that again, will you?" Anna watched her sister expectantly.

"Do what again?" Elsa asked in confusion. _What did I do? Wait, I think I know…_

"You stuck out your bad foot, Elsa. Usually you drag that leg behind when you walk, no offense. Like you're having to try doubly hard to walk, even though you're wearing that brace. But you just stuck out that foot like it was no big deal just now. Do it again!" Anna paused before adding, "I know I said I wouldn't bother you about your leg, so I won't be all pushy, though. I just happened to notice you seeming to move it better, or at least more easily, all of a sudden."

 _Why does Anna look so excited about that? And yet…Anna's right. I wasn't particularly thinking about it…just that I figured I could stand on my good leg better than the bad one._ Elsa's bright smile grew bigger as she realized Anna was right-it _was_ a little easier for her to move her leg now. "Thank you for telling me, Anna! This proves that I've started trying to heal it properly-I'm not doing it wrong or something." She knew she still had a long way to go before she could even try to walk without her brace, but it was a start. _I have to tell Gerda. She'll know what to do next._ "Oh, one question…Anikka's been asking for a ride on Linnae for awhile…do you mind if I take her to my ice palace that way? I'm pretty sure Linnae could carry you too, but I don't want to risk it. Actually…"

Anna grinned, knowing Elsa was planning something. She could easily tell; her big sister's eyes were sparkling excitedly. "Just what are you planning?" she asked eagerly.

"Oh, nothing. Just…how do you feel about adrenaline rushes?" Elsa tried to keep her expression neutral, but she knew she was failing miserably at that. Even if she _was_ managing to keep an impassive expression, Anna would just read her eyes instead. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some plans to enact."

"Elsa, what are you planning?" Anna asked again.

"That's my business for the moment, if you please. Your job is to convince Mama and Papa and the others that I'm not…dangerous." Elsa's happy smile faltered a bit at that, but she almost immediately regained her composure and drew herself up to her full height. "Everyone is to stay out of my room and leave me alone until…ten tomorrow morning. Meet me in the courtyard then. Queen's orders."

Anna frowned in puzzlement as Elsa strode off in a dignified manner as best she could, despite her usual limp. _What's with Elsa all of a sudden? I know she's just trying to plan some kind of surprise, but I don't want to leave her alone for any length of time. What if something makes her all upset again? She won't have anyone there to help her._ "Elsa will be fine," Anna told herself aloud. "She'll be fine."

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa wrestled with herself for a moment before taking a deep breath and stepping outside the castle gates. Part of her was a bit frightened of leaving the safety of the castle walls alone-it was dark outside now, and she knew some people would be only too happy to come across a lone girl on her own. _No, Elsa, you'll be fine. That's why you didn't disguise yourself, remember? You have a way to defend yourself if need be._

 _What if I mess up trying to talk to someone? I'm not good at talking to people like Anna._ Elsa paused beneath a burning streetlamp to give herself a chance to calm down. She wasn't absolutely sure, but she thought this was her first time trying to do something on her own that was just…everyday-ish outside the castle since the whole cave incident. _I failed to rescue Anna…I just got both of us hurt._

 _No, that was Jade's fault, you idiot. Not yours._ "Okay. I can do this. I can do this," she repeated under her breath. Elsa jumped when she thought she felt something or someone touch her shoulder, but nothing was there. Still, she kept her magic on guard, not even entirely voluntarily…she could feel ice tingling in her fingertips. _I'm fine. I just have a couple errands to run and then I can go home._

"Are you still open?" Elsa asked hesitantly at the hairdresser's. She knew barrettes were sold in here; she'd seen them in the window.

"Just about to close up, dear, but do come in," an older lady's voice called. "Oh my, I do apologize, your majesty! I didn't see you at first."

Elsa stifled a giggle as she stepped inside. "That is completely fine, m'am," she replied in a slightly more confident voice. "I am looking for barrettes…three of them to be exact. Could you help me?" _Please, please say yes. I still have two more stops to make._

"Of course. Any particular colors in mind, Queen Elsa?" The lady showed Elsa over to the window. "Those are all I have at the moment, I'm afraid."

 _Purple for Rapunzel for sure; I know that's her favorite color. I don't know what Anikka's and Kiara's favorite colors are, though…I'll get Kiara green. It'll match her eyes anyways._ "I should like the purple one and the green one, please. Do…do you have any suggestions for a five-year-old girl?" Elsa asked, unsure of what to get for little Anikka.

The lady's eyes grew big, as if excited to hear the latest gossip. "Will that be for your daughter, your majesty? I have heard tell of a new princess in our midst. Where is her father? I thought our queen was not even entertaining suitors and-

"My _adopted_ daughter," Elsa interrupted pointedly, hoping her cheeks hadn't turned bright red. _What on earth is this woman_ thinking _?!_ "The new Princess Anikka is a five-year-old orphan, m'am. I gather the recent gossip has informed you otherwise." Elsa paused and frowned, realizing just how ridiculous what the woman had been implying was. "I have not even been queen for nine months, and you have seen me in public before during the last few months besides. How on earth could I have been…enciente?" _I shouldn't have said that. This is entirely inappropriate for me to be discussing. And I guess this is what Papa meant when he said Anikka was going to cause trouble. Risking my reputation._ "I shall thank you to not spread any more utterly ridiculous and incorrect rumors like that, about me or anyone else," Elsa added finally. "I will take the pink barrette along with the green and purple ones, if you please."

The woman did at least have the decency to look very embarrassed at Elsa's words. "I'm truly sorry, Queen Elsa. It will not happen again. Very, very sorry…take the barrettes for free for the trouble. I do apologize," she babbled.

Although Elsa did not accept such offers as a private rule, this time she made an exception. That insinuation had made her rather angry. "I hope not. Thank you," she said in a neutral tone. She walked out of there holding her head high, hoping the lady wouldn't start asking about her leg. _I'm surprised she_ didn't _ask about it. I don't care who you are; talking like she did would have been rude if I were a homeless girl on the street. I don't care. That was private business._

Elsa ducked into the florist shop next door, glad it was still open. "A bouquet of crocuses and bluebells, please," she requested.

"One moment, Queen Elsa, if you please." The florist quickly began wrapping up Elsa's request. "May I ask who they're for?" the man asked politely.

"My mother." Elsa's quiet voice didn't sound frightened or embarrassed, but she didn't exactly sound confident, either. _Mama loves flowers, I know she does. And…and I wanted to get her something nice. Besides, crocuses and bluebells mean nice things. I don't know if Mama will know exactly what or not-she probably will, though-but at the very least I will._

The man looked like he wanted to say something more, but he didn't think it was his place and so held his tongue. "I put a few extra in the bouquet, Queen Elsa. I do hope your mother enjoys them," he said sincerely.

Elsa put her money on the counter and scooped up the flowers. "Keep the change. Thank you, sir. The flowers are beautiful." She smiled as she walked out. _Well, that went much better. One more stop and then I can go home._

"You are welcome. Name's Marinus. I hope you come again if you ever need more flowers," the man replied, giving Elsa a polite smile.

"Thank you," Elsa said again. _I can't wait to give Mama these flowers. They're so pretty and they smell good, too._

Elsa took a deep breath as she headed to her last stop. Knowing that her hands were occupied now should she run into trouble unnerved her. _Oh, stop it, Elsa. And you should have gone to your final stop first anyways. Now it's even later, and…_ She shifted the small package with the barrettes and the flowers to one arm and slowly pushed the door open. _I can do this. I just want to buy a bottle of Papa's favorite kind._

"It's the queen." "What's Queen Elsa doing here by herself?" "She ain't the type, you know…"

Elsa ignored all the comments and just went straight to the counter. "One bottle of the honey wine, if you please. The mjød. It's my father's favorite," she announced. Elsa usually didn't like keeping any alcoholic beverages in the castle; she had just let them run out and didn't replace them. But she clearly remembered her father very much enjoying a glass of honey wine sometimes when she was little. A bottle of that would be a good present.

"Ah, Queen Elsa, can't I interest you in a drink for yourself? It's on the house," the barkeeper offered.

"No, thank you," Elsa said firmly. "Only the honey wine, if you please." _I want to get out of here. It smells funny and I don't think it's completely safe._ She looped her trailing snowflake cape over her arm, realizing it was probably going to get stepped on by accident if she didn't. Elsa frowned, realizing this was _not_ the same place that Anna had taken her to last summer when she'd made Elsa go on a double date for losing a bet. This venue seemed a lot more shady to her. _I made a mistake. Stupid, stupid, stupid..._ Elsa had been positive this was the same place. _Wait a minute…this_ is _the same place! It's just that when I was here with Anna and Kristoff and whatever-his-name-was, it was_ daytime. _Not nighttime._

Elsa quickly plunked her money on the counter, snatched her purchase, and started to walk out of there as fast as she could. She had always lectured Anna to tell her _not_ to come to places like this at night, and now she had done it herself. _I have my magic,_ she reminded herself. "Lot of good that will do me if I'm holding presents," she muttered. And she hadn't brought a lantern. _This is not safe. Not safe, not safe, not safe._ She felt someone grab her arm and instantly whirled around, ice spreading beneath her feet. "Leave me alone!" she ordered.

The someone had slipped and fallen on the ice, that much Elsa could tell, but she couldn't see much else. _I have to get out of here._

"Money or I'll shoot," the mysterious someone growled.

"Queen Elsa will arrest you for such behavior," Elsa shot back.

"Well, she ain't here now, is she?"

 _He can't see who I am!_ Elsa closed her eyes; ice snaked from beneath her feet and fastened the man to the ground. "You just slipped on _ice_. Unless you know another person with ice powers, you're looking at her." Elsa felt a hand on her arm again, this time far more gently, but her body was already on the alert and she elbowed the someone as hard as she could.

"Good grief, Elsa, it's just me!" Kristoff's voice said. "You just about impaled me!" He held up his lantern and stared at the scene in front of him. "I assume you, sir, will be tossed in jail for attempted robbery."

Elsa's blue eyes grew big in surprise, but she was so relieved. "I thought you were another attacker," she told Kristoff, still clutching her packages tightly. She turned back to the man who had tried to rob her, her eyes twinkling. "I think it will be enough punishment to just leave him there, don't you?"

"Queen Elsa, please! I'd rather go to jail! What if someone _sees_ me?"

"Then I suppose they will know that you tried to rob me. Perhaps you will think twice before trying to steal or hurt someone. Good night." Just as she had thought, the man would be punished more if she just left him there stuck to the ground with ice rather than taking him to jail. It wasn't freezing tonight, so she knew he wouldn't freeze to death or anything.

* * *

"Q-Elsa, would you like me to walk back to the castle with you?" Kristoff offered. "Seems a little out of character for you to come out here alone. Also kinda dumb, pardon me." He paused before adding, "I'll carry your packages if you want. Then you'll have your hands free to use your powers if you need to."

"I would like that very much. Also, you are forbidden to tell Anna you saw me. When we get home, just…go do whatever it is you were planning to do. I'm sure Anna will be happy to see you tomorrow." Elsa smiled and added, "You can meet my family and me in the courtyard tomorrow at ten A.M."

 _Ok, she's planning some surprise. That's what she's doing._ "I was kinda planning on…seeing Anna tonight?" Kristoff said awkwardly. "I promised I would tell her right when I got back."

Elsa gave him a sideways glance. "What, exactly, will you and my sister be doing? You can't have dinner together; it's too late. So…?" Elsa did not care that her little sister was engaged; she still did _not_ like the idea of the whole thing. She knew Anna had kissed him, and she didn't quite approve of that, either.

"Throw pebbles at her window and wait 'til she comes out to the stable? I thought Anna would like to help brush Sven's fur. And we would just…talk. I promise, Elsa. Nothing else. Maybe a kiss or something." Kristoff tried to reassure Elsa; he knew she was just being her overprotective-big-sister self.

"What is the 'or something'?" Elsa stopped in her tracks and just turned to face Kristoff. "I just want my baby sister to be…safe. I don't want her getting hurt again," she said quietly. "I know you're engaged; I know you have given me every reason to trust you, but…I still worry about Anna. She's…" Elsa felt very small all of a sudden. She might have been the older sister, but so often Anna played the role of the big sister to Elsa. Anna took care of her when she was sad or hurt. Anna always tried her best to make Elsa happy. It was just…despite all the mature things about Anna, she was still incessantly optimistic and she trusted people far too easily in Elsa's opinion. _And…and I'm scared. Scared of losing her. That's selfish…_

"She's your little sister, Elsa. You're supposed to worry about her," Kristoff said. He just stood awkwardly, wondering what to say or do. Elsa looked like she was trying (and failing) to don her 'queen' look to keep her insecurities from showing. She didn't particularly look frightened, but she seemed younger all of a sudden. "You're scared of losing Anna," Kristoff stated. When Elsa's expression crumpled, he knew he was right. "Elsa, that's ok, you know. Doesn't that just mean you care about her a lot? For what it's worth, sometimes I feel scared of losing Anna, too. When I saw her fall into that chasm…" Kristoff's voice trailed off and he didn't say anything more.

Elsa had no idea how to explain her thoughts. It was just…she still thought she was the one who needed Anna. Anna didn't need her. She was damaged. Anna didn't need someone like her. The feelings from when she had been so ill a few months ago flooded through her. Anna loved her, that Elsa believed with all her heart. But she didn't _need_ Elsa. She would be fine if Elsa was gone. Elsa, on the other hand, would _not_ be fine if Anna were gone. Elsa sincerely believed that if something did happen to Anna, she wouldn't be able to live, let alone function. Elsa finally just sat down right there on the ground and cried, trying to hide her face in her hands. _Why am I crying? I don't even know…am I being selfish? Can't someone fix me?_

Kristoff just awkwardly knelt beside her, unsure what to do. "Elsa, I don't know what you need, but I'll help you if you tell me what to do. We can't stay outside all night. Where did the bossy queen go?" he asked, trying to get the girl to smile.

"No one…needs m-me, so…why do I…exist?" Elsa could still remember villainized-Anna asking her why did she even exist. That _hurt_. She knew that wasn't really Anna, but if those awful things were rooted in a grain of truth, did real-Anna somehow think she was useless but loved her anyway? Was that what was really true? _If Anna did think I was useless but still loved me, that's okay, though. I know Anna doesn't want to get rid of me. I know she doesn't._

"Elsa, that's a really stupid question. I don't know what put thoughts like that in your head, but they're wrong. Grand Pabbie said you were going to be an ice master. Do you really know what that is?" Kristoff didn't wait for a reply. "It means that you're going to help a lot of people. It means that you're basically a superhero. A vigilante…except you _are_ the law anyway since you're queen. Elsa, thinking no one needs you is really dumb. Also…I know kinda sorta what happened last December. You pretty much _died_ and chose to come back. If you really believed nobody needs you, you wouldn't have done that."

Elsa gave Kristoff a lopsided smile. "I suppose that's true. I guess I just _feel_ useless sometimes. Lying in the infirmary unable to feed yourself or even breathe properly on your own can do that to a girl." She thought for a moment and continued, "I _did_ end up being the one who could heal Anna. And I know Anikka at least _thinks_ she needs me." _Kristoff is right. And if he just helped me feel better, then I think I can trust him with Anna. He's not going to hurt her._ "Thank you, Kristoff. For helping me."

 **A/N: I know...still no ice palace! That WAS going to be in this chapter, but it got too long.:P I'm sorry.**

 **And yes, Elsa has some plans up her sleeve for the next day.:)**

 **Next chapter coming soon!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

 **Thanks to bananas-rule-2015 for beta-ing:)**

 **raven678-I'm glad you liked it:) Well, Elsa's plans are in this chapter:)**

 **Olivia O-Neil-I'm glad you liked it and I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter.:P I don't know how to do your Tangled idea, but whenever I come up with something, I will give you credit for the idea.:)**

 **Elsa Tomago-The thing is, Agdar doesn't know how to treat Elsa properly.:/ Elsa didn't discuss it with her parents because she already knew they would tell her no way. Since she does have the right to make the decision on her own, she asked for Gerda's help since her opinion is unbiased. Agdar was trying to get the real story about what happened years too late. (Remember he never knew the actual circumstances surrounding what happened.:P) That's because you DID read that in 'Secret Passages'. It helped when Elsa was 16 and it helps now, too.:) Elsa's surprise is in this chapter.:)**

 **johnpatgillespie-Thank you:) The ice palace is in this chapter...finally.:)**

 **Unsophisticated Grace-Thanks for all the nice, detailed reviews!:) I'll PM my replies as soon as I can.:)**

 **On to the final chapter of this story!:)**

Elsa sat at her desk a short while later, carefully measuring and calculating several things. _I have to come up with a way for it to run itself…like my ice-copter, but better._ She nervously bit at a fingernail and then abruptly slapped her hand back on the desk when she realized what she was doing. "I should just test it and use a proportion to make it the right scale," she said to herself. "Wait…no, I don't need to do that, either. I didn't last December…the only reason it didn't work then was because I got sick." Elsa jumped when she heard a clearly recognizable knock on her door. "Anna…please. I said leave me alone 'til tomorrow morning. Please?" _I don't want Anna to think I don't want her around, but I want this to be a surprise._

Anna didn't like the hesitant tone in her sister's voice. _What if she tries to hurt herself or something? I don't think she would, but still…I know Elsa's still a little…not quite right for her._ "Elsa, I don't like your tone of voice. You need to open this door right now or I'll just come in anyways. I'm just worried about you. It's really late and you should be sleeping. And you usually don't like being alone for a long time, just enough so you don't get tired of socializing and stuff, and…yeah. Elsa, open the door."

"Just a second, Anna," Elsa called, quickly hiding her papers in a drawer. She slammed it shut just as Anna came in on her own. "Anna, what is with you tonight?" Elsa asked softly. "I told you I was fine."

"No, you didn't. You just said to leave you alone 'til tomorrow morning. And you sounded kinda hesitant and a bit upset." Anna's blue-green eyes darted around the room and settled on the drafting tools and writing materials on Elsa's desk. "What…what were you doing with that stuff?" Anna asked, pointing.

Elsa tilted her head to one side in confusion. "Drawing and writing. What else? I put the papers away as you barged in because they're for a _surprise._ Which means you don't get to know what it is until I say so in the morning." Elsa caught Anna glancing at her left wrist and then at the desk and instantly put the pieces together. _She thought I got all…depressed and whatever else again. That's what happened._ "Did you think I wanted to be alone because I didn't want you catching me…hurting m-myself again?" Elsa tried her best to keep from stumbling over the end of her question, but she couldn't quite do so.

Anna bit her lip and slowly nodded, tears forming in her eyes. "You sounded upset and you had the door shut and you've got sharp metal scissors and that square thing you use for drafting stuff and stuff out and…you _were_ feeling like that not that long ago and-" Anna cut herself off when she felt Elsa hugging her tightly. _Elsa is ok. She's fine. Isn't she?_

"Anna, for one thing, I don't know if you know this or not, but even I _did_ feel like…trying that again, which I don't…I'd be far, far more likely to use ice to do it. That's what I did when I was eighteen and it's what happened when I hurt my hand by accident a couple months ago. _And_ I…I wouldn't have been able to reply to your knock that easily, either," Elsa said quietly, trying to reassure her little sister. "If you want a reliable signal that something is wrong, that's if I don't answer and you know for certain I'm in my room and I'm not asleep. I _will_ always reply otherwise, even if it's to tell you I'm working on a surprise and therefore want to be alone. I promise." _And I do not break my promises. If it's a promise I don't know if I can keep, then I won't make it a promise._

"You're really ok right now?" Anna asked hopefully. _Why am I asking Elsa that? I should be the one trying to help her feel better, not the other way 'round. She's the one who got hurt so bad and now she's helping_ me _instead…_ "Sorry, sis. I just got really worried about you, that's all," she mumbled finally.

Elsa just gave Anna a lopsided smile. "Well, thank you for caring about me enough to get worried about me, anyways. But I really am fine, at least right now." She paused for a minute to think before continuing, "I think you should be more worried that I might have another of those nasty panic attacks rather than that I might purposely…hurt myself. I'm okay now, Anna. Really." _Actually it hurts a little bit that you didn't trust me enough that I wouldn't do that to myself…_ Elsa decided that she would _not_ tell Anna that; Anna was already all upset and Elsa didn't want to make that worse.

"Elsa, what's wrong?" Anna asked instantly. She could easily tell that something was the matter; Elsa's smile was gone and she looked…hurt again, although not nearly as bad as other times Anna had seen her sister make that face.

"Nothing. Just me being stupid. Don't worry about it."

"If it's 'you being stupid', then it's probably something you oughta tell me about," Anna retorted. "Because usually when you say you're being stupid, you're upset."

Elsa sighed, wondering how to word her explanation. _But Anna_ shouldn't _trust me. How can I be upset with her for not doing so? Except I know Anna will keep asking me until I tell her, so…_ "It hurt that you don't trust me not to purposely hurt myself," she blurted finally. "I promised I wouldn't. I wouldn't have made the promise if I didn't think I could keep it. And you said earlier that you knew I didn't get…suicidal anymore even when I get upset.""

"Elsa…you also promised you wouldn't attempt that awhile before you tried to at eighteen," Anna mumbled. "I trust that you _want_ to and will _try_ to keep that promise, but…but…I don't know. You just…I worry about you, Elsa. I know it's prob'ly selfish, but I don't wanna lose you. And definitely not like that. Last summer you admitted that you didn't know whether you'd tell someone or not if you started feeling that way again."

Elsa bit her lip and put both hands on Anna's shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. "If you don't trust me to keep my promise, then please just listen to this: Anna, I am not, I repeat, _not_ suicidal anymore. That's the truth. I wouldn't lie about it, even if I didn't want to share how I felt on my own. I remember telling you that, too. So Anna, please, _please_ believe me. Please." _Elsa, why should Anna trust you? You did hurt her. Multiple times. You're nothing. The only reason you have value is because of your ice magic. The thing that makes it so you can protect Arendelle. Something you're_ still _slightly scared of. Without that, you're just a frightened and hurt little girl._ Elsa could remember only too easily how she had felt once she'd woken up after Agdar had rescued her and Anna from that cave.

Anna could tell Elsa was telling the truth just by looking at her. "I believe you." She threw her arms around her sister and just hugged her tightly. "Sorry I bugged you and stuff when there was nothing wrong," Anna apologized.

"It's okay, Anna. Just…just try to remember even if you shouldn't trust me to keep you safe and the like, you _can_ trust me not to attempt…that again. I know I still get scared and upset and hurt easily, but I'm not that…that l-lonely eighteen-year-old girl anymore. Anna, even right after Papa rescued you and me from that cave, I didn't feel…suicidal, at least not that I remember. Everything just _hurt_ so m-much a-and…and I felt s-scared and I wanted to make sure y-you were okay…" Tears slowly trickled down Elsa's cheeks as she dropped her gaze to the floor. _And I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore at first. Elsa, stop it. That leg of yours is going to start hurting again if you don't calm down._

"Stinker," was all Anna said as she gently scooped Elsa up and plopped down in the comfy chair in the corner holding Elsa securely, trying to make her feel safe. _Elsa's the one who got hurt so bad and she says she wanted to make sure I was ok. Is that what she wanted when she tried to reach for my hand? Just reassurance that I was all right? I know she also probably just wanted someone to take care of her, but…_ "Well, we're both safe now. So there," Anna said finally.

* * *

"Anna…what does it feel like to…to really be confident that you won't mess everything all up?" Elsa asked softly. "And trust yourself not to?" _Because I never feel that way. I always feel like I'm going to mess up somehow…_ "Even when I know it's illogical to think I'll mess up something, I just…I don't know. Never mind."

Anna pushed Elsa to her feet and just pointed at the floor. "I'll show you, sis. Ice the floor," she instructed. _Why is she asking a question like that?! I mean…I do know why, but…she_ shouldn't _have to ask that. But she hasn't been trusted not to 'mess up' because of all that time when she was little._

Elsa obliged, but she gave Anna a quizzical look.

"Now, d'you trust yourself to walk on the ice without slipping?"

Elsa sighed and made a face. "I trust myself to walk on the ice as well as I walk on the carpet or the floor, if that's what you mean. But no, I don't trust myself not to slip. Anna, you know that. I _never_ feel completely sure of myself walking anymore. I just feel…awkward." She paused, knowing her little sister was just trying to help. "I'm sorry. It _is_ better for me now than when it first happened. And I would have said yes before I had to wear that brace on my leg anyways…it's okay, though, really. Let's just not talk about that." Elsa smiled a bit and held out her signature snowflake in one hand. "I do trust myself to consistently make my signature snowflake properly. Does that count?"

"Sure. Or how about how you felt right when you made Linnae? I know you _must_ have been confident you wouldn't 'mess up' when you made her 'cause of her personality," Anna told her. "And don't apologize for telling me how you felt. Don't ever, ever do that. You have the right to have emotions and feelings just like anyone else." She paused, frowning and trying not to yawn as she realized something. _'I just feel…awkward.' No wonder Elsa tried to say she wasn't elegant earlier. She just outright told me she feels the opposite._ "Elsa, I know I can't really, truly understand the things that make you feel the way you do, but just please, please don't think bad things about yourself."

"Like what? I didn't say anything bad about myself, really. Just facts," Elsa replied. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, knowing it had to be awfully late by now. At this rate neither of them would wake up in the morning early enough.

"Awkward hasn't gotta be a bad thing, but your tone of voice said you felt like it was. And you really aren't awkward anyways. The only times your leg's made you fall were because somebody was trying to make you run or something. You slipped on the stairs a couple times, but I do that constantly anyways, soo…" Anna trailed off, giving her sister a sheepish grin.

Elsa didn't smile back; she turned to the window and just looked outside, her arms crossed around her middle. "Causing difficulty; hard to do or deal with. Not smooth or graceful. Those are definitions of the word, Anna. What do you call it when I have trouble talking to people? When I can't explain myself verbally _at all_? Even now I stutter a little when I get…upset. I wish I had the…the self-confidence you do. But I don't, and…a-and I think I just… _can't_. It's not my leg, Anna. I don't like it; I do wish it wasn't damaged, but that's…that's not my problem. It's not." _And yet again, I don't know how to explain myself._

 _Elsa, just try. You know Anna won't pick on you if whatever you say doesn't quite make sense._ Elsa took a deep breath and sat down in the window seat, keeping her gaze on her pale hands. The temperature did not drop, and no snowflakes appeared; although Elsa could feel ice tingling uncomfortably in her fingers. "I…I don't know how much of my present 'personality' is really, truly me and how much is just because I spent so long alone. And…and I don't think whatever's wrong with me can ever be completely fixed or h-healed. Not here." _Anna, please understand. Please._

Anna just gave Elsa a reassuring hug and didn't say anything at first. Telling Elsa there was nothing wrong with her wasn't going to help. It wasn't even true. Anna still didn't consider _anything_ to be 'wrong' with her big sister, but it was undeniably true that Elsa was still hurting. _And the way she deals with her emotions_ is _damaged. I admit that; I just don't mind. She's still just plain Elsa anyways._ "Elsa, just because you still feel damaged and hurt on the inside doesn't mean there's something wrong with you," Anna said carefully. "And I don't read minds, but I think _most_ of your present personality is 'really, truly' you. You've always loved drawing geometric things; you've always loved reading; you've always wanted 'alone time'; you never liked too much socializing; you've always had this elegance with a bit of mischief on the side, just like you do now. Elsa, stuttering a bit sometimes when you get upset and having those panic attack things occasionally and other stuff like that does NOT define you. They're bad things that happen to help shape 'just plain Elsa'. Just like the good things. You can't expect yourself to not have any negative things about you at all. That's stupid. You're still just a human girl. One with awesome ice powers, but just a normal girl all the same." She paused before continuing, "One more thing. I have no idea if the things that still hurt or scare you or whatever will ever be 'completely fixed or healed'. But I'll never, ever think bad of you for it or…or get rid of you." Anna's own eyes burned with tears when she realized Elsa had fallen asleep right where she was sitting, her face buried in Anna's shoulder. _I hope Elsa really did hear everything I said. I just want to help her._

Elsa sighed contentedly as she subconsciously registered that someone had picked her up. Somehow she sensed that this person was indeed safe and she didn't instinctively wake up in a panic. "S'prise…t'morrow," she mumbled. "Hope Anna like it."

"I'm sure I will," Anna whispered, carefully tucking her sister into bed. She gently brushed the tears streaking Elsa's cheeks away and started to reach to turn the kerosene lamp off. Elsa's quiet voice made her turn back. "Elsa?"

"Anna…Anna not want t' get rid of me?" Elsa's bright blue eyes just blinked sleepily at her little sister before drifting shut again.

"Never, ever." Anna hesitated, wondering if Elsa would get upset if she was left alone right now. "D'you need me to stay?"

"No…trust Anna t' come back. I…I'm okay now." Elsa was actually already almost completely asleep. _I do feel happy and safe now…_

* * *

NEXT MORNING…

"Linnae, take these things to the ice palace and come back, please," Elsa told her dragon early the next morning. She had carefully sealed all the presents she'd either made or bought for everyone inside a container of ice. Now Linnae would take those things up to the ice palace and no one would even _guess_ what Elsa had done. Well, except for Kristoff, since he had seen her holding the presents.

Linnae obliged, and Elsa smiled as she watched her dragon fly off. _I hope everyone enjoys themselves today…and…and wait a second…_ Elsa frowned, sensing that it was going to rain later...if not within the hour. Nobody would have any fun in a storm. "We'll be at the ice palace by then. It'll be fine," she told herself. _That isn't right, actually…_ Elsa closed her eyes, sensing the incoming weather. _Just under an hour. That's all we have!_ Elsa usually did not like purposely predicting the weather precisely, even though she could do so. She still thought that wasn't information anyone was supposed to have like that, not unless it was a huge dangerous storm or something, which this wasn't.

"Miss Elsa, did you pack any food to take?" Gerda called from the castle steps. "I am fairly certain you didn't. In any event, here is enough food for everyone. Take it with you; better have extra than to run out."

"Gerda, you're _invited_ ," Elsa corrected. "Thank you for getting food together, but I wanted you to come too. I invited Kai also, but he offered to stay here and watch the castle and I said that was fine." She limped over to Gerda and smiled as she peeked in the big basket full of food. "You packed all delicious things…it might go bad before we get to my ice palace, though…"

Gerda smiled and shook her head at Elsa. "I thought you might just keep it cold yourself, Miss Elsa. Also the cooling system in the icebox is broken now…I do not see much point in having it fixed. Could you come mend it?"

Elsa mulled it over for a minute. "Not the refrigeration portion-it's supposed to be a little above freezing and I can't produce that temperature reliably. It might be broken again by this afternoon or it might be permanent; I don't know. If the actual freezer portion is messed up, then yes I can fix it," she explained slowly. Elsa still hadn't come across anything in the magic book about a natural ice mage being able to control water; just a passing phrase that said 'limited abilities over liquid water'. She knew she could make liquid water, and that she could drop temperatures, but she had no idea the extent of that ability. _I probably have to maintain direct control on it, I suppose._ "I could come try, at least," Elsa offered. "I know I can at the very least tell you exactly what temperature it is in the icebox."

* * *

"44 degrees," Elsa said the instant she stuck her hand inside the icebox. "Gerda, I'll cool it, but I don't know if it will stay that way without me in close proximity to it," she warned.

"Very well." Gerda waited until Elsa had 'fixed' the icebox and then gently led her over to a chair. "First, thank you, Miss Elsa. Second, have you managed to do your job for starting to heal that?" she asked, nodding at the girl's braced leg.

Elsa nodded. "I did the best I could, but I don't _know_ that I replaced everything that's damaged…I still think our anatomy knowledge isn't complete somehow. It confused me because I thought…knew…that my magic sensed things that weren't in the book."

"Does it feel any better?" Gerda asked gently. She noticed Elsa's shoulders tensing up and added, "Miss Elsa, you do _not_ have to work on this. It needs to be your decision, nobody else's. In fact, I won't have anything to do with it unless I know _you_ are the one who wants to. And that you are trying for yourself, not to please others or trying to make people like you better." Gerda gave Elsa's hand a comforting squeeze and continued, "Also, you know neither of us really know how much it's possible to improve in the first place. I don't want you working hard and then potentially being disappointed. Miss Elsa, you need to accept right now that all the work in the world might not heal it, and that that is ok. My guess is that you can improve it, but I don't think that limp is ever going to disappear entirely."

"I know…I guess I'm just nervous. Let's go wait for Linnae and everyone else in the courtyard, okay? I want to try to get to my ice palace before it rains," Elsa replied, giving Gerda a smile. "And I would really, really like it if you would come, too."

Gerda could tell Elsa _really_ wanted her to come, so she agreed. She still didn't think it was her place to participate in the royal family's private trip, but she wanted to make Elsa happy and the girl was the queen, after all. If she wanted her long time servant to accompany her on a trip, then Gerda would do that for her. "Please just remember you have the right to give orders," she reminded Elsa.

"Not to you I don't," Elsa said softly. "Maybe technically, but not really. Gerda, you _took care_ of me for so long…you still do, really. What about all the times you helped clean up my room after I lost control? All the meals you brought me? And…and you always treated me like a n-normal girl. Before and after the…accident. I still don't understand why; I don't think I ever will, but…but it means _so much_ to me." _Elsa, just quit talking. Quit mulling over the past, too. Gerda knows you care about her already. So you're just being stupidly melodramatic, and you know it._

Gerda did not tell Elsa to stop crying or anything else; she merely reached for the young girl and hugged her tightly. "I treated…and still treat…you like a normal girl because that's exactly what you are, Queen Elsa," she said firmly. "If your sister had had some sort of special magical powers like yours, I would have done the same for her. Although…somehow I think the princess having powers like yours would be rather…troubling to say the least. I can just see her pranking dignitaries she didn't like or freezing them or something. Also there would probably be a hundred different half-finished ice constructions all over the place."

Elsa giggled at the thought of her little sister having ice powers like hers. She wouldn't wish them on Anna for anything, but the idea was still funny. "I would probably have an ice-covered bed all the time. And I bet Anna would be a lot more daring with them than I am."

Gerda decided not to point out that Elsa herself had teased her little sister by leaving snow in her bed multiple times. And that Elsa had been the one to make an ice amusement park.

"Thank you for making me laugh, Gerda."

* * *

"Where's the surprise, Elsa?!" Anna asked excitedly a little while later. She glanced around the courtyard, expectantly looking for whatever surprise her sister had cooked up. _Knowing Elsa, she's probably going to make something. I'm almost positive._

A bit of Elsa was nervous; she could feel her magic making butterflies in her tummy and her skin felt all tingly. But this wasn't the awful debilitating nervousness that freaked her out and made her lose control. She was mostly excited. The only thing that worried her was her parents' reaction to everything. Elsa closed her eyes and threw her hands out in front of her as she visualized a swirling intricate path of ice towards the North Mountain. The path was enclosed as if it were a tube; that way even if something were to go wrong, no one would get hurt. _I can do this. I started to with no prior planning for Anna's birthday. The only reason it didn't work then was because I was sick._ " _That's_ part of my surprise," she said a bit hesitantly, risking a glance at her father for his reaction. _Papa, please don't hate me or be mad at me. Please._

Agdar mostly looked confused. "Elsa, what exactly did you do?"

"Dad, I know exactly what that is! It's a path. To the ice palace, I bet. We get to ride on it. Right, Elsa?" Anna grinned and tried to keep from bouncing on her toes excitedly.

Elsa nodded but didn't say anything, not liking the expression on her daddy's face. Little Anikka sensed Elsa's unease and ran over to her. "I wanna ride, Elsa," she announced. "Ev'ryone coming? Elsa hold me, please."

Elsa smiled a bit as she picked the little girl up. "Anikka, you're a little big to carry, don't you think?" she asked quietly. _I need my hands free if I'm going to do this…I can't just hold Anikka all the way to the ice palace…_

Anikka shook her head, but she started wiggling, trying to get Elsa to put her down. But only because she knew Elsa couldn't make whatever it was she was making without her hands. Elsa set the child down and turned her attention back to the others. "It's going to rain soon, so I think we should probably leave so we can arrive before it starts."

Elsa had set up the 'path' in such a way that its vehicle would travel on its own once she launched it, so she waited until everyone but Anikka had climbed on and then sent it off. Then she climbed on Linnae's back with little Anikka nestled safely in front of her. "Are you ready?" Elsa asked quietly.

"Uh-huh!" Anikka squealed in delight as the ice dragon took off.

"Please hold on, Anikka. This isn't a roller coaster or something where you're strapped in," Elsa said firmly. She kept a tight hold on the little girl, determined to keep her safe. Somehow Elsa felt perfectly safe high in the air riding her ice dragon, but having little Anikka there with her did _not_ feel safe.

"I trust Elsa. I safe. Elsa promise t' take care me. Elsa keep promise," Anikka said matter-of-factly. "I need Elsa."

That comment made Elsa flinch. "I promised I would _do my best_ to take care of you. That best…might not be good enough. Anikka, you can't trust me like that; I…I might end up hurting you," she said softly. _Why would Anikka say something like that? Doesn't she realize I'm not…not…I don't know. But she shouldn't trust me like that!_ Elsa had to admit to herself that having somebody who genuinely did need someone to take care of them made her feel a little better. She still felt like no one really needed her; she knew her baby sister loved her; she knew her family did care about her; but that wasn't the same thing. If no one needed her, then why was she still here?

"Elsa cared me when she was all hurt," Anikka reminded the older girl. "I having fun. Thank 'ou, Elsa," she added.

Elsa didn't reply; she had sensed that it was about to rain and urged Linnae to fly faster. She clutched little Anikka tightly and smiled as they shot through the air. "Almost there," Elsa announced proudly. _And no mishaps, either._

* * *

Elsa slowly slid off Linnae's back the second they arrived at the ice palace. She smiled, happily breathing the cold, clear air on the North Mountain's summit. _No matter how I feel when we get back home, I feel happy here. I feel…confident?_ "I do, I really do! This is what Anna meant!" Elsa exclaimed contentedly.

"What's what I meant, sis?" Anna asked the second she'd scrambled to her feet after sliding out of the icy tube path a few feet away. "And by the way, that was awesome! You freaked out everybody else except Kiara and Kristoff, though," she added, giggling. Then, when she noticed Elsa's happy smile fade, she added hurriedly, "Not 'cause of your magic. Because you made us go really, really fast. Which I thought was fun." She grabbed her sister's hand and tugged her toward the icy steps leading into the palace. "C'mon, Elsa, I want everybody to see the awesome structure thing you made!"

Elsa's blue eyes sparkled happily, her hair a bit tousled from the flight to the North Mountain. "I know what 'self-confident' feels like," she whispered so only Anna could hear. _I know it'll be all gone soon, probably before we even go back home, but it feels nice. I know I won't mess up anything right this second. And my ice palace is just one big reminder that I can make something flawless and beautiful. Because I know that's what it is._

Anna only grinned and squeezed Elsa's hand. _I won't say anything right now, Elsa. I know you don't want to explain that to everyone._

"You _built_ this place, Elsa?" Agdar asked incredulously, just staring up at the towering spires of ice above him. "Did you draw this whole building ahead of time…?"

"Dad, she did it on a whim all by herself, no drawings or anything. I don't know how Elsa did it exactly, but the entire thing is based off her signature snowflake," Anna explained, carefully omitting the information about just _when_ Elsa had done it.

"Is it safe?" Idun asked.

"Yes," Elsa said shortly. "It's withstood storms, if that makes you feel any better. I brought something for everyone, by the way," she added, changing the subject. _Come on, please just follow me inside._ Elsa hesitated before trying the stairs; she still didn't feel completely comfortable climbing stairs, but these stairs were important to her. She _wanted_ to walk up her icy staircase. _You made this staircase while running up it, and now you can't even walk up it properly,_ a nasty thought told her.

 _I don't care. It's still mine, and I'm here all the same._

Anna stayed right by Elsa's side. "Go ahead, sis. I'm right here. Besides, these stairs oughta be easier than the ones at home 'cause they're not as steep. You can do it," she said quietly. Anna frowned as she watched her sister's gaze flit from the ice staircase to her braced leg and back again. "Elsa, how did you make this bit? What were you doing then?" she asked gently.

"I ran up the stairs while I was making them. I knew my ice would hold and not snap, even though that's not how regular physics of ice behaves. But I can't anymore, I _knew_ I couldn't, I thought I didn't mind anymore, but…" A tiny smile appeared on Elsa's face as she remembered something else. "But I didn't have my ice-dress yet. I did that after I built this whole place." She didn't know why, but something settled inside her and whatever had made her get all upset abruptly faded. _I can climb my silly staircase. I know I can. I have all my family and friends here with me and I'm not here all alone. I'm_ home. _My leg doesn't matter._

Anna grinned as Elsa abruptly began slowly but surely climbing up the stairs. She did not slip once. _Well, something must have made her feel better, although I don't know what._

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa distributed her carefully chosen presents for each of the others. She gave her father his first. "Papa, I remembered you liked this kind best when I was little. If you changed your mind since then, I won't be upset," Elsa told Agdar, handing him the bottle of wine. "And Mama, I…I got these for you," she went on, hesitantly giving her mother the carefully wrapped bouquet of crocuses and bluebells.

Idun took one look at her gift and hugged her daughter tightly. "They are beautiful, sweetie, just like their giver," she said quietly. "I daresay these are a much better surprise than that…race to get here. Thank you very much, Elsa." Idun had not liked riding that ice-path thing one bit, but she loved the flowers, just like Elsa had hoped she would. "Also your ice palace is quite impressive. Just like you."

Elsa's lopsided smile immediately told her mother that she was happy. The contented smile remained as she went on handing out her presents. "I didn't know what color you would like," she apologized as she gave Rapunzel, Anikka, and Kiara their barrettes. "I know Rapunzel likes purple, but…" She paused as she handed Gerda her gift. "I made it...I thought it might look pretty on a shelf in your room or something."

"My goodness, Miss Elsa, it's so...detailed," Gerda said, staring at the tiny flowers and trees inside the icy snow globe Elsa had given her. "Thank you very much."

"You're welcome," Elsa replied, happy that Gerda liked what she had made for her. She bit her lip as she handed Anna her present. "I…it's…if y-you don't want it, it's…it's ok. Just throw it away. I don't want it back," she said softly. "I can give you something else."

Anna took the small blue leather book Elsa handed her and frowned as she flipped through the pages. "Elsa, how old were you when you wrote this?" she asked curiously. A quick calculation from a date told her that Elsa had only been eight and nine. _Little_ Elsa had written this. Anna wouldn't have guessed from the handwriting; while it looked childish compared to Elsa's present-day handwriting, it was impeccably neat. _So she must have been writing in this right after the accident. Wait…I remember this diary! Elsa got it for Christmas, the last Christmas before the accident._ Tears filled Anna's eyes as she read the last entry, which was nowhere near the end of the book. ' _I can't do this anymore. Gerda told me to keep writing because it might help me feel better, but it's not. I'm nine. I don't feel nine. I don't know what age I feel, but it's not my real one. I feel all sad. I think the ice is sad, too. It hurts me sometimes. I wish I was normal like Anna so Mama and Papa would love me, too. But I don't think messed-up little girls like me are supposed to feel. Feelings are confusing and they hurt and I don't understand them. I hope Papa figures out how to fix me. I miss Anna something awful. I wish I hadn't hurt her. Maybe I can see her again when I'm either fixed or I can control it. I want to apologize so bad so maybe she won't hate me. And I want a hug so much. I know Gerda would give me one, lots, in fact, but I can't. It's not safe. –Princess Elsa. P.S. I really, really hate wearing gloves all the time.'_ "Elsa…why? Why would you give me this?" she asked, throwing her arms around Elsa and just holding her close. _Elsa was only NINE when she wrote that! Nine! She was nothing but a little kid!_

"I…I thought you should have it. I don't trust anyone else with it, I don't think. If you d-don't want it, you can throw it out," Elsa repeated. "I don't know. You ask me questions about when I was little and I don't know how to answer them…I guess I thought maybe it would fill in the holes?" _Elsa, you shouldn't have given Anna that. You were supposed to give her something to make her happy, not something depressing._ "Don't read the short story at the end of it that I wrote when I was twelve…please," she added, suddenly remembering that was in there, too.

 _Elsa just gave me her little self's diary. That had to have been hard for her…I know she hates talking about her feelings and people knowing exactly how she feels._ Anna only hugged Elsa tighter. "It's safe _now_ , Elsa," she said quietly. _Little Elsa sounds almost exactly like her grown-up self. Grown-up Elsa would probably be a little more advanced in the way she wrote, but I don't think she'd really say much more than what her little self did._ "Elsa, d'you keep a diary now?"

"No. I never have, not since then," Elsa replied truthfully. "I'll stick with my blueprints and the like if I choose to write…draw…something in my free time. I'm good at drawing blueprints. I'm not so good at writing about…me."

"A diary is for _you_ , no one else, you stinker. It doesn't even have to make sense. You chose to share this with me, but you didn't have to. You had the right not to, Elsa. Don't say you're not good at writing about yourself 'cause that's not the point. Also, I promise I will keep this safe and I won't let anybody else read it unless you explicitly say I can," Anna assured her sister. "Let's go back to the family party thing you've planned, Elsa."

Elsa gave Anna a lopsided smile, somehow looking more relaxed than she had a few minutes before. For a moment, she looked exactly like the confident little girl Anna remembered from before the accident. Elsa was smiling; she was standing up straight like she always did, but she didn't seem stiff, either; and she wasn't fiddling nervously with her hands or clasping them together like she always did. And her blue eyes looked genuinely _happy_. So often Anna saw sadness or fear or pain in those eyes, or at least a trace of it. "Anna, I…I feel better," she said quietly. _I want to go upstairs._

* * *

"It's all blue. Bright, icy blue!" Elsa exclaimed happily a short while later in the big room with the snowflake-engraved floor a few minutes later. She knew the ice here reacted to her emotions automatically; she had seen it blue before. But right now it was quite literally _shining_. It was as if Elsa's magic had made one giant lamp. Although it wasn't a blinding light, it still shone, flickering gently. "Anna, may I…sing? D'you think the others would mind?" she asked hesitantly.

"Elsa, they are not going to mind. You sound pretty when you sing," Anna told her. "And I like hearing you sing." Anna just watched as Elsa limped out onto the balcony, her pale face all smiles. _We should have brought Elsa here ages ago. Forced her to come, if need be. She's almost like a different person. Well, not a different person; she's still acting like just plain Elsa. But she's_ happy. _We should've brought her here the second it was safe to move her after she got hurt so bad. Maybe that would have helped her feel better, at least inside._

Elsa just stood outside for a few seconds, not caring about the natural sleet falling around her. She glanced back inside toward Anna and bit her lip, knowing what she was about to say was probably going to sound silly. _Anna won't care, Elsa. You know she won't._ With that thought, she turned back and looked out at everything below her…the other smaller mountains, the chasm, everything. " _I'M NOT BROKEN!"_ she screamed, not in a defiant way, just as if she were trying to make a point. On impulse, Elsa awkwardly climbed up on the icy railing, figuring that even if she _were_ to fall, she could catch herself with her air currents if need be. Then she opened her mouth and began to sing. " _If this is the moment I stand here on my own, if this is the moment I stand here on my own…_

 _"…I might be afraid, but it's my turn to be brave…"_

 **THE END.**

 **A/N: I'm sorry for the crazy long wait for this chapter. I've been having some...personal issues that I don't particularly want to talk about, so...yeah. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter and Elsa's impulsive song at the end and the like.**

 **By the way, Elsa's song is Idina Menzel's _Brave_. I like that song a lot.:)**

 **Yes, Elsa's ice palace makes her feel better. Why wouldn't it; the place is purely _hers_ and it's something she's proud of.:)**

 **Anyways, thank you for reading and sticking with me when I don't update quite as soon as I would like.:/**

 **P.S. There WILL be another story after this, focusing more on the family/friendship aspects of things. Poor Elsa needs a break from all the action and whatever else hurting her.:/ The next story in the ongoing Elsa & friends saga will at least touch on Agdar's and Idun's move to Weselton since Elsa ceded it to them; Anikka beginning some schooling; Kiara deciding what she wants to do (she can't just stay in Arendelle forever); Hans and Espen dealing with their punishment Elsa gave them; and lastly, Elsa pulling herself back together so to speak. She's still not healed inside from everything, which is pretty obvious.:/ And Gerda will help Elsa with trying to heal her bad leg, too. So lots of more 'everyday' things instead of someone trying to attack Arendelle or something.:)**

 **This is MantaI-305Apollo'sChariot signing off for now, over and out!:)**


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